Title: At Its Lowest
Author: Paï
Word Count: 4,609
Pairings: Ichigo/Ishida, one-sided Renji/Ichigo, implied Byakuya/Renji (or Renji/Byakuya, whatever you want)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: English is not my native language, and unbeta'ed (I tried my best to find mistakes but I'm sure there are still a lot I don't know of)! And of course, every warnings that goes with a NC-17 yaoi fic XD ! And maybe a bit of angst
Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, it would have been a yaoi manga! XDDD

Today had been a really bad day for Ishida Uryuu.

First, his alarm clock had broken down during the night. This shouldn't have been a problem, as he usually woke up before the alarm went on, but this time, as if all had been planned, he had woken up one hour late. He, who liked taking his time to eat and get dressed, had had to rush into his clothes and had left without eating a thing. Of course, he had arrived late, and even if it was just some minutes late, it still highly annoyed him.

And of course, one thing leading to another, as the lunch bell rang, he realised that he had forgotten his lunch in his hurry. So, as the others rushed outside the classroom, he stayed at his desk and took a book out of his bag.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see that Ichigo had been watching him since he had entered the classroom. Now, Ishida saw that the boy had stayed behind his friends. He was quite sure he had seen him opening his mouth, but was glad when no sound came out.

Uryuu turned a page, acting as if he hadn't seen Ichigo at all. He was relieved when the boy finally left. The last thing he wanted now was to talk, even with Ichigo. What he wanted, what he needed, was this day to end quickly.

But Fate seemed to have decided otherwise.

The rest of the school day had passed quite quickly, and he had to leave the classroom first to avoid Ichigo again. He knew the boy would want to walk with him, as they usually did, and he would ask him what was wrong. And in his present state, Uryuu knew he was likely to say something harsh he didn't mean.

He decided to stop by his sewing shop, remembering that he needed some more threads for his newest project. He found himself in front of closed doors. 'On holidays', the note on the window said.

Ishida restrained himself from shooting an arrow into the damn shop. He inhaled deeply and walked back to his flat. He was now really eager to return home; once there, he was sure that nothing else could annoy him anymore.

Here again, he was wrong. There was the water and the electricity bills waiting for him in the mailbox. As insignificant as it was, it still was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Damn it!" He shouted as he closed his door, throwing the bills angrily onto the table. "What the hell did I do to the Gods?"

He sent his school bag flying onto the sofa and searched in his cupboards for what he had left to sew something.

He sat on the couch, his legs close to him, and let his hands do whatever they wanted.

As he was finally beginning to relax, his mind snapped back to reality as he sensed an unusual amount of spirit energy. A Hollow. Now that was a good thing, he would finally be able to release his frustration.

He hastily jumped into his Quincy outfit and rushed outside. The Hollow seemed quite powerful, and it pleased him. He would have the chance to spend a lot of the restrained energy he had accumulated in the day.

As he neared the location of the monster, however, its energy disappeared. Uryuu abruptly stopped running, his mouth slightly opened. He had forgotten about Kurosaki. Damn Shinigamis.

He resumed his tracks. Now he would find the stupid orange-haired boy and would make him pay for that.

His feet brought him to the park, where he could hear people shout. Ishida recognised his classmate's loud voice, and he seemed to be fighting with… what was Abarai doing here? He recognized the Shinigami lieutenant as he was walking closer. He wasn't paying attention to what they were saying, knowing the two loud mouths always argued for anything. Yes, a bit like Ichigo and himself; but that was something different.

The Quincy stopped dead in his tracks as the redhead caught the substitute Shinigami's head in his hand and crushed their lips together. Here, his brain stopped functioning and he looked at the boys for some seconds without seeing them, dumbstruck.

After a moment, he turned away and flash-stepped to the front of his building. He rushed into his apartment and collapsed against his door, his eyes staring blankly in front of him.

But before he could start thinking about what happened, a knock on the door made him jump.

"Uryuu?" Ichigo's voice came in. "Uryuu, I know you're here. Open the door please."

Ishida got up to his feet and stared at the door. The knock became more persistent, and the voice behind it turned into a shout.

"Uryuu, don't be stupid! Open that damn door and listen to me!"

The dark-haired boy reached out for the handle, more to make the banging and the shouting stop than to comply.

"What do you want, Kurosaki?" He growled menacingly.

"Uryuu, listen to me!" Ichigo repeated hastily. "I know you're pissed off at something today but don't release your anger on me."

"Oh? So now it's going to be my fault? What were you expecting me to say?" Uryuu yelled back. "'Oh! That's wonderful! Let's have a threesome!'" He added, answering his own question in a falsely excited voice.

"That's not it! Listen to me!"

"I don't care! I don't want to listen to you! I don't fucking want to hear you anymore again! You piss me off! Get the hell out of here, Shinigami, NOW!" He barked, banging the door closed.

Ishida could feel the said Death God's reiatsu on the other side of the door, and he was sure that the boy was dumbfounded. After all, this was the first time he had sworn so much, and openly. Maybe it was Kurosaki's bad influence. But in one way, shouting like that made him feel slightly better.

The archer walked to the couch and took the work that had previously been neglected. He slowly started sewing again, oblivious to the fact that he could still feel Ichigo's energy behind the door, definitely not wanting to analyse whatever he could sense in it.

Finally, the energy moved away, following the footsteps echoing in the hall. Uryuu tried to focus on his sewing, but found that his vision was starting to be blurred. He blinked furiously, but his surroundings only became clear again as he felt wet droplets running down his cheeks.

Unable to hold back anymore, he used whatever control over himself he had left to put his work on the small table in front of him. When he leant back into the sofa, he let his emotions flow out freely, covering his head with his hands.

Why? Why had he been so stupid? Why had he believed Ichigo's words so easily?

It had been nearly a month now since the two of them had become what someone could consider as boyfriends.

They had had their first kiss; they had made love for the first time; they had whispered sweet things in each other's ear; they had made sure that all they had been experiencing wasn't only due to their teenage hormones; and so on and so forth.

Uryuu had believed Ichigo when the boy had told him that he really liked him, and Uryuu had been sincere when he had smiled and answered that he felt the same.

But now, for the first time, Uryuu was starting to regret not having listened to his father's warnings. Ryuuken had told him how Shinigamis could be, and he had insisted that all Shinigamis were the same. Selfish, cruel, egocentric, heartless… One day they are kind with you, and the next day they stab you from behind.

By that time, Uryuu had met a certain number of Death Gods and had found that some could be the opposite of what his father had said, and especially Ichigo who, after all – he had thought as if to convince himself – wasn't really a Shinigami.

Now, his father's words were echoing painfully in his mind. Yes, all Shinigamis were the same.

Right now, he wanted to run after Ichigo and pierce his heartless body with arrows. But more than anything, he hated himself for dropping his own guard down. He should have known that something that wonderful couldn't last.

He wiped away his tears angrily with the back of his hand and got up. How stupid he was getting; crying wouldn't bring him anywhere. He entered his bedroom and slammed the door shut.


At the same time, some houses away, another boy was slamming his bedroom door shut.

"Kon?" Ichigo called. "'You in there?"

He started searching his room for signs of the stuffed lion. He bent and looked under the bed. Instead of finding the plush toy, however, he found a shirt.

He picked it out and recognized it at once as one of his boyfriends'. So here it was, he thought, chuckling inwardly as he sat on the bed. He remembered the scene quite clearly.

Some days ago, Ichigo had invited Uryuu to his house, for a change, knowing that his family would be coming back home late.

The homework session didn't last long, as usual, and they had ended up onto the bed. But in the middle of their making out, Isshin had come back home. So, as fast as they could, they had put their clothes back on, to find that the Quincy's shirt was missing. They didn't have the time to search for it so Ichigo had given him his own shirt, and Uryuu had jumped from the window just in time, hearing the older Kurosaki crash loudly into the bedroom when he had landed on the ground.

The Shinigami sighed and lay down onto the bed, hiding his face into the clothing. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he breathed in the dark-haired boy's scent.

Things had been going on so well, just yesterday; and now, everything had been screwed up. And it wasn't even his damn fault.

He had only been out this evening when he had been warned that a Hollow was near. When he had arrived there, someone was already fighting it.

What had been Renji doing here?

Trying to ignore this, he had joined the vice-captain to kill the monster. When the thing had been finally sent to Soul Society, Renji had however started shouting at his friend, telling him that he hadn't asked for help to get rid of that Hollow. From there, they had started yelling at each other. This was frequent between them; they were always fighting against each other for stupid things. What Ichigo hadn't foreseen was for the redhead to kiss him. It had taken a moment for Ichigo to register what was going on, and when his brain had finally been functioning normally again, he had pushed the Death God away.

"What do you think you're doing?" He had asked, dumbfounded.

Renji had backed away, scratching his neck in an embarrassed way. But before they could say anything, they both looked towards the entry of the park, sensing a powerful reiatsu for a second.

"Uryuu," Ichigo had whispered, eyes wide as he had recognized the energy before it had faded away again.

"Oh. You're…"

"Yes!" The orange-haired boy had snapped, looking back at the taller man. "Sorry, but I'm already with someone!"

And with that, he had flash-stepped to Uryuu's apartment. But his boyfriend had refused to listen to him.

Ichigo curled up in his bed, pressing the shirt close to him. Hopefully, he'll be able to talk to the Quincy on the following day.


One week later, Uryuu had still managed to avoid the Shinigami. At school, he was the last to arrive, disappearing for lunch and first to leave at the end of the day.

Ichigo wasn't waiting for the other boy to apologize of course; he had understood that it was in fact he who should. Even though he wasn't really responsible for what had happened, he had brought the fault on Uryuu who had been having a pretty bad day. And he was regretting not having thought before speaking.

But the problem was that Uryuu didn't want to listen to him. He was avoiding him at school, and in the week-end he hadn't answered when Ichigo had come to his apartment. He had been nowhere to be found; or carefully hiding his reiatsu.

Today, however, Ichigo was really getting annoyed at this game. So, at the end of the school day, he tried to follow his boyfriend – because yes, he still considered that they were boyfriends. Waving a hurried goodbye to his friends, he remembered what Uryuu had tried to teach him once to hide his energy and, when he was sure no one could see, flash-stepped right in front of the dark-haired boy's flat to see that the door was closing. He blocked it with his foot and waited.

Ishida was surprised for a second as he felt he couldn't push the door behind him any further, but then sighed heavily, knowing fully well who it was. Yet, he couldn't help being slightly impressed when he realised that the boy on the other side of the door had managed to partially hide his reiatsu.

He held onto the door knob but didn't open the door, asking, "What do you want, Kurosaki?"

"You know damn well what I'm here for, Ishida. So now would you please listen to me?"

Now he couldn't run away anymore.

Uryuu sighed again and let Ichigo in, closing the door behind him. They silently stayed in the hallway for a moment, Uryuu fixing Ichigo with his arms folded and Ichigo refusing to look into Uryuu's eyes, searching his words.

"Uryuu," he finally began, "I… I'm sorry…" He eventually looked into the other's eyes, letting a sigh escape his lips. "I… I missed you so much…"

Uryuu's eyes widened slightly for a really short moment before narrowing. "Then you should have thought about it twice before getting involved with someone else." He answered coldly.

"No!" Ichigo exclaimed, hurt. "No, listen! That's not at all what happened!"

"What else do you think I'm doing? I am listening, so spit it out! Stop beating around the bush!"

Ichigo fell silent for some time, surprised at the way Ishida was talking. Finally, with a frown, he started relating everything that had happened before the arrival of the Quincy.

An uneasy silence followed, and this time it was Uryuu who lowered his gaze, thinking.

"Oh…" The archer finally whispered. "So then… Maybe I'm the one who should apologize."

Ichigo looked at him, blinking, and then smirked. "See? You should have listened to me! And erm… You should have believed in me too."

Uryuu's eyes snapped back up, narrowing again. "So you think you're smarter than anyone else, don't you? Then what would you have done if you had caught someone else kissing me?"

"I would have tried to understand!" He answered immediately, but then, seeing the sceptic look on the other's face, thought about it more seriously. "Erm… No… I… I don't know." He corrected, looking away.

"There!" Ishida said triumphantly.

Ichigo then took a step forward and cupped Uryuu's cheek in his hand. "But now… now will you believe me? I never lied to you. I don't want anyone else than you."

Uryuu closed his eyes, leaning into the touch and exhaling softly as a small smile crossed his lips. "I missed you too."

Surprise quickly made his eyes open again as he was pulled into rib-crushing hug. He relaxed in the other's arms, encircling Ichigo's back with his owns, their heads resting onto each other's shoulder.

They stayed like that for a moment; breathing in each other's missed scent in a comfortable silence. However, Ichigo couldn't resist for long before kissing the pale neck, eager for his boyfriend's reaction he liked so much.

Upon sensing Ichigo's breathe in his neck, Uryuu felt a shiver running down his spine and he tried to suppress a chuckle. He had recently found out that his neck was really sensible, in a way that every time the other kissed it and breathed against it, it sent tickles all the way down to his right side. Ichigo continued his treatment on the soft skin until the Quincy finally couldn't hold back anymore and let out a small laugh, clutching the other's shirt tightly.

Grinning, Ichigo tilted his head back to look at Uryuu. He crushed their lips together, groaning slightly from the missed sensation as they immediately deepened the kiss, running his hand in silk-soft dark hair. How could he ever think about dating someone else? He knew fairly well that no one could ever compete with Uryuu, not even in matters of softness. Uryuu had the softest skin in the world – not that he had actually tested other skins, but he was sure no one else could have a softer skin. Maybe Byakuya, he thought, chuckling to himself as he made a mental note to ask Renji the next time he'll see the redhead.

Well, what was sure was that, soft skin or not, Ichigo would never give up all he had with the archer. He would never give up their fights; he would never give up their banters; he would never give up their homeworks sessions; he would never give up their rare cuddly moments; he would never give up their making-out sessions… He would never give up Uryuu for anything or anyone else in the world, ever. Not even for Renji. Not even for Chad. Not even for… girls. He loved Renji, of course he did. He loved Chad too. He even loved Rukia, Orihime, Tatsuki and everyone; but as his best-friends, not in the way he loved being with Uryuu, not in the way he loved Uryuu.

"What's bothering you, Ichigo?"

Ichigo realized that they had stopped kissing and that he was fixing Uryuu, which had caused the boy to frown a little. He frowned back, but then took Uryuu head in his hands, staring intensely into the blue eyes.

"I love you, Uryuu. I love you so much." He answered, his voice surprisingly steady compared to all the emotions that were messing his brain up.

Uryuu stared back, wide-eyed. Inside, he knew he felt something really close to this too, but for the moment he was a bit fuzzy with all that had happened, and he needed some quiet time to think properly.

However, he allowed a small smile to cross his lips and pulled Ichigo down for another kiss.

Ichigo had been hoping for an answer, but he knew perfectly well that wouldn't get anything more right now. He eagerly answered the kiss, becoming needier and needier. He pushed the Quincy into the bedroom without breaking the kiss, confident that Uryuu wouldn't refuse, seeing that it had been a bit more than a week since their last time together.

Shirts being greedily abandoned half-way, they finally stumbled heavily onto the bed. Ichigo pulled away from the kiss to look down at his boyfriend, both boys breathing heavily.

Ichigo would do anything to prove that what he had said earlier was sincere.

"Uryuu, you can be on top if you want."

The dark-haired boy stared back at him for a moment, considering the option, and smirked, rolling them both over so that he was above the Shinigami in the blink of an eye. Sitting on the other's lower abs, he took his glasses off and put them on his beside table, retrieving the tube of lube in the process.

Meanwhile, Ichigo was unzipping Uryuu's pants, touching the arousal through the briefs. Uryuu groaned and quickly got off the other boy to get rid of the remaining clothes as Ichigo got out of his own. He then pulled the redhead for a rough kiss, pushing him down the bed again. He pulled away to attack a tanned neck, toying with brown nipples at the same time. As Ichigo arched his back and hissed, fisting his hands into the dark hair, he trailed his kisses downwards, leaving a slightly wet path.

In the meantime, he abandoned his two little hardened toys to take back the tube. He spread some of its cold content into his hand and went up again to ravish his boyfriend's lips. He ran his slick hand up a muscled thigh, earning moans of anticipations from the boy under him.

Uryuu pulled away from the kiss and, from the look he received, he understood that they were both so horny that there wasn't much time needed for preparation. He moved his hand up, fingers ghosting teasingly underneath the hard length before gripping it firmly. Ichigo hissed loudly something that resembled Ishida's name.

Encouraged, Uryuu bent down to lick Ichigo's earlobe while continuing his downwards ministrations. Then, he suddenly stopped, sitting up and ignoring the redhead's whine.

Ichigo was looking intensely at him, not missing a single of Uryuu's movements through his half-lidded eyes, his heart pounding loudly into his ears.

"U… ryuu… What're you doing?" He stuttered as the younger boy returned to his previous position, sitting on his abdomen. Uryuu only smiled back, getting slightly up on his knees.

Ichigo's eyes widened in understanding as the other boy reached behind and began lowering himself.

"Wha–? Wait! Stop, you're not even pr–" The end of his sentence was cut off as he gasped loudly and swore, closing his eyes as his head fell back onto the pillow.

Uryuu was taking him slowly in, hissing from the pain. Finally, he bent over and kissed the lips under his. When the long and heated kiss was broken, he rolled his hips, eliciting low growls from both his and Ichigo's throats.

Uryuu had understood what Ichigo had meant when he had said he could be on top. He sure hadn't meant it like that. And he had only meant to say that he loved Uryuu either way, that he was sincere. But Uryuu did know fully well how the Shinigami liked it best. How they both like it best. It hadn't been like that from the beginning of course. They both had a lot of pride, and they had both been fighting a lot for dominance. Ichigo had won first, and then they had agreed to take turns. And Uryuu had realized that it wasn't the same at all. He even found out that he preferred being on the receiving end. And he wasn't ashamed of it at all. There was nothing to be ashamed of, because it was Ichigo. And Ichigo wasn't seeing it as if he had won against the Quincy. He wasn't acting any haughtier because he was the seme. Uryuu had understood that it was just how things were. It was just written in the characters. Ichigo was someone who needed to give. Someone who loved to give. Someone who loved to love. And Uryuu, Uryuu just needed to be loved, to feel loved. It was only a normal reaction for someone who had been alone nearly all his life.

And now, as he moved above him, Uryuu was just telling Ichigo he was glad he had asked him, but had just opted for giving and receiving at the same time.

Ichigo was holding tightly at Uryuu's bottom as they settled a rough pace, Ichigo meeting the other's movements by arching his hips up the bed. One of his hands then went between their sweat-slick bodies to take care of the neglected erection. It then didn't take long for Ichigo to reach climax, subjugated by the sight of the perfect body moving above him and the subtle lines of the beautiful face contorted with pleasure. Some seconds after, Uryuu arched back as he joined the other boy in heaven.

When they eventually regained a steady breathing, Uryuu was still on Ichigo, sprawled all over him. Returning to his senses, Uryuu reached for the bedside table and grabbed a towel to clean them both as he settled beside his boyfriend. Ichigo reached for the covers and pulled them up, planting a soft kiss on Uryuu's lips as he covered him.

As they snuggled together to feel the warmth of the other's body, Uryuu looked up and cupped Ichigo's jaw.


"Hmm?" He looked at the boy with concern as no other words were pronounced; his grip on the slender waist tightening to encourage the boy to say whatever was on his heart.

"I love you," Uryuu finally whispered.

Ichigo's eyes widened slightly, but then he grinned broadly and pulled the archer for another kiss.

"I love you, Uryuu." He repeated back as he rested their foreheads together.


The next day, as they were resting together on sofa, they were startled by someone tapping at the window.

"Renji? What are you doing here?" Ichigo asked as he opened the window, letting the Shinigami lieutenant in.

Ishida couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy every time the tattooed man looked at Ichigo. He knew that it was unnecessary, so he did everything he could to hide it.

"Abarai-kun," he greeted with a nod, not getting up.

"Yo," Renji simply greeted back for both boys.

"What are you doing here?" Ichigo repeated.

The older Death God scratched his neck awkwardly. "I just wanted to apologize, in fact."

Ichigo smiled and turned towards his boyfriend still sitting on the sofa.

Uryuu really wanted to refuse and to shout everything that came to his mind to the taller redhead, but instead, after a moment of silence, he shrugged and looked away, adjusting his glasses.

Ichigo's smile widened and looked back at Renji. "Apology accepted!"

"Ah, thanks!" Renji smiled back.

"But still," Ichigo continued as he went back to sit beside the Quincy with a frown, "what were you thinking about? I mean, well, you don't go and kiss anyone just like that."

"Heh! Yeah, I don't know. The heat of the battle, maybe." The other answered with a shrug. Relieved that it was going better than he had thought, he knelt down in front of the others, on the other side of the low table.

Ichigo looked at the silent archer beside him and his frown deepened in thought. He looked back at Renji as he voiced his thoughts. "Anyway, what about Byakuya?"

Renji stiffened and stared at the substitute Shinigami with wide eyes. "Kuchiki-taichou?"

As no other answer came, Ichigo laughed at the other's stunned look and added, "Come on, Renji! What with this 'I want to surpass him' thing? I know there's something else behind all this!"

"What are you talking about?" Renji retorted back, blushing slightly.

"Heh! You know damn well what I'm talking about! I mean, he's pretty hot, isn't he?" Renji's eyes widened even more, but he didn't stop. "Don't tell me you never thought about ta–"

"Shut up!" Renji howled, getting up furiously. "Thanks for everything, Ishida." He bowed his head slightly, unable to hide his blush, and leapt back from the window.


Uryuu turned his head toward the grinning Ichigo.

"So he had really thought about it then!" The orange-haired boy added, pulling the Quincy close to him as he leant back on the couch.

Uryuu smiled and shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Don't you think you were a bit hard with him?"

"You think so?" Ichigo wondered. "Nah! He owed us for what he did!" He smirked and tilted Uryuu's head up for a kiss.