1.) When he wakes up in the morning ask, "Does Tommy want his ickle bottle"
2.) Ask him if he went to Beauxbaton
3.) If he denies this tell him that you found his dress
4.) Tell him Neville beet him to killing Harry
5.) Tell him you love him and propose in a singing telegram
6.) Tell him that if he's a bad boy you'll sic Moaning Myrtle on him
7.) Tell him that he has to watch the all the previous seasons of Sponge-Bob with you, non-stop.
8.) Ask him guess what? I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico Broom!
9.) Give him a French manicure
10.) Ask him to dance with you
11.) Make him go to Defense against the Dark Arts Class
12.) Pat him on the head and say "I love you, Voldie-Poo
13.) Dress in PINK!
14.) Give him a pony on his birthday
15.) Tell him he's ugly
16.) Tell him to take a portkey
17.) Sign him up for yoga class
18.) Ask him if he wants to meet a friend of yours then introduce him to your imaginary friend "Bob"
19.) Say, "You're old enough to be my grandfather!"
20.) Splash water on him and scream, "YOU ALMOST DROWNED!"
21.) Wipe your hands on his shirt
22.) Slap him at awkward moments
23.) Ask him to play full contact football with you
24.) Invite him to a Scottish festival
25.) Insist he wear a Kilt
26.) Pierce his ears while he sleeps
27.) Make him say, "I will not make anymore nasty plans" 100 times
28.) Ask him out
29.) At an importune moment come into the room and yell, "I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!"
30.) Tell him that Snape is the fan girl that has been stalking him
31.) Tell him that you founded a fan club for him
32.) Ask him to help you hook up with Lucious
33.) Hiss randomly at him
34.) Tell him he's a "hottie"
35.) All of a sudden yell "poof" and say "I had an epiphany"
36.) Sharpie a scar on his forehead while he's sleeping
37.) Give him a wig
38.) Smile constantly
39.) Giggle as often as possible
40.) In the middle of a Death Eater meeting say as loud as possible, "My Lord I think you look smashing in the rocket ship underwear."
41.) Make him watch all the previous Harry Potter movies with you
42.) Tell him that it will help him to learn from his mistakes
43.) If one of his plans doesn't work say that he can always use "Plan Z"
44.) Poke him every five seconds
45.) Read him bedtime stories, esp. the Pokie Little Puppy
46.) Snap his wand
47.) Blame it on Draco
48.) Whine when he doesn't give you a birthday present
49.) Send white boxers with little red hearts on them through the mail, annonimously
50.) Tell him, repeatedly, that if he gets a Beach Boys CD his life will mean something
And that is my beautiful addition to the world of Harry Potter.
xxThe Freakish Author