1.) When he wakes up in the morning ask, "Does Tommy want his ickle bottle"

2.) Ask him if he went to Beauxbaton

3.) If he denies this tell him that you found his dress

4.) Tell him Neville beet him to killing Harry

5.) Tell him you love him and propose in a singing telegram

6.) Tell him that if he's a bad boy you'll sic Moaning Myrtle on him

7.) Tell him that he has to watch the all the previous seasons of Sponge-Bob with you, non-stop.

8.) Ask him guess what? I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico Broom!

9.) Give him a French manicure

10.) Ask him to dance with you

11.) Make him go to Defense against the Dark Arts Class

12.) Pat him on the head and say "I love you, Voldie-Poo

13.) Dress in PINK!

14.) Give him a pony on his birthday

15.) Tell him he's ugly

16.) Tell him to take a portkey

17.) Sign him up for yoga class

18.) Ask him if he wants to meet a friend of yours then introduce him to your imaginary friend "Bob"

19.) Say, "You're old enough to be my grandfather!"

20.) Splash water on him and scream, "YOU ALMOST DROWNED!"

21.) Wipe your hands on his shirt

22.) Slap him at awkward moments

23.) Ask him to play full contact football with you

24.) Invite him to a Scottish festival

25.) Insist he wear a Kilt

26.) Pierce his ears while he sleeps

27.) Make him say, "I will not make anymore nasty plans" 100 times

28.) Ask him out

29.) At an importune moment come into the room and yell, "I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!"

30.) Tell him that Snape is the fan girl that has been stalking him

31.) Tell him that you founded a fan club for him

32.) Ask him to help you hook up with Lucious

33.) Hiss randomly at him

34.) Tell him he's a "hottie"

35.) All of a sudden yell "poof" and say "I had an epiphany"

36.) Sharpie a scar on his forehead while he's sleeping

37.) Give him a wig

38.) Smile constantly

39.) Giggle as often as possible

40.) In the middle of a Death Eater meeting say as loud as possible, "My Lord I think you look smashing in the rocket ship underwear."

41.) Make him watch all the previous Harry Potter movies with you

42.) Tell him that it will help him to learn from his mistakes

43.) If one of his plans doesn't work say that he can always use "Plan Z"

44.) Poke him every five seconds

45.) Read him bedtime stories, esp. the Pokie Little Puppy

46.) Snap his wand

47.) Blame it on Draco

48.) Whine when he doesn't give you a birthday present

49.) Send white boxers with little red hearts on them through the mail, annonimously

50.) Tell him, repeatedly, that if he gets a Beach Boys CD his life will mean something

And that is my beautiful addition to the world of Harry Potter.

xxThe Freakish Author