Author's Note: I first considered writing this story in the view of a girl, but then I realized all my girl characters are Mary-Sue's. Besides, I want to break the stereotype that this is only for girls. Anyways, I feel like making a good old fashion story about dear Ponyboy. :B Ehem. I know I always start stories and either end up deleting them or not finishing, but I'll really try. Hahah. Anyways, sorry for the crappy summary, but it was pretty much the best I could come up with at the time. Anyways, here we go.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders or any of the characters and such. I just like it a whole helluva lot!

When Johnny and Dally died, at first I felt completely hopeless. At a couple of times I even wondered if their deaths were my fault. But I know it's not. It wasn't really anyone's "fault" unless you count the beer. I guess that was the main thing to blame. Sure, Bob could have chose to not drink it, but really, once your start I suppose you can't really stop. So I knew that their blood wasn't on my hands. That didn't change the fact that after everything, I felt so out of control.

Out of control. Everything was hazy. I felt out of step, like I was trying to dance the mamba and I only knew the tango. I wanted to take control back. I wanted it so badly. I needed it so badly. And I couldn't think of any other way.

"Ponyboy! Hurry up!" I jumped as Darry's hard voice rang in my ears.

"Just a second," I said, grabbing my backpack and heading out the door. I jumped in the truck beside him, and then Soda slid in beside me.

"Did you have time to eat anything?" Soda asked, still licking his fingers. It was beyond me how Soda could make a mess when all there was for breakfast was eggs, but go figure.

I shook my head, "Naw, but that's okay. I ain't really hungry anyways." I don't know why I said that. My stomach was rumbling so loud I was sure they could hear it. But Soda shrugged, taking my word as if it were set in stone.

Wheeling out of the driveway, we bounded down the nearly crowded roads until we arrived at school. Darry practically shoved me out of the car in impatience. I waved a hasty goodbye and started into the bustling building.

I wasn't in the best mood throughout the day, so by lunchtime I was thankful that I finally got a break to breathe. School seemed to be suffocating me. I wasn't sure why, but my grades seemed to be dropping. Darry sure was mad about it.

I met up with Steve and Two-Bit and clambered into Two-Bit's car. We drove over to the DX where Steve immediately went to go get changed into his work uniform.

Two-Bit plopped down on the counter and shouted, "SOOOODAAA! I'M HUNGRY!" so loud that the few people who were in there stared over at us. I blushed and looked down. Two-Bit grinned and rubbed my head as Soda came out and shushed us.

"Glory Two-Bit, you trying to get me fired?" Soda scolded, but he couldn't erase the silly grin that was spread across his face.

"Maybe," Two-Bit shrugged with a smile equally as insane.

Soda tossed us each one of those prepackaged sandwiches and a coke. Two-Bit started chowing down on the sandwich while I contended myself with sipping the coke.

"Hold on a second guys, I was in the middle of doing something," Soda said, and disappeared into the back room as Steve came out.

"Hey Two-Bit, want my sandwich?" I asked.

"Sure. How come you don't want it?" Two-Bit asked, doing his signature eyebrow raise.

"Ate a big breakfast," I said.

Two-Bit shrugged and didn't think twice as he scarfed down the second sandwich.

"Pig," Steve muttered under his breath.

Two-Bit laughed, "Hey. Life's short. Eat good food while you can."

I rolled my eyes, "Doesn't mean you have to be a pig about it."

Steve's lips twitched into a small smile for a moment and Two-Bit bonked me on the head.

Soda came back out with his collar flipped up, and his hat pulled down. Two-Bit smiled so wide, I thought that maybe his lips would fall off of his face. "So who's the new broad?" He asked.

I looked at Soda in surprise. He hadn't mentioned a new girlfriend. But after his response I could understand why.

"Well, I mean. I'm not in a relationship, per say," he said, turning slightly pink.

Two-Bit's expression went from confused, to bemused, and then to pure ecstasy. His booming laughter filled the station, "You manwhore!" He kidded.

Soda joined in the jubilant laughter, "Just haven't found the right person to get back into…the swing of things with."

I smiled at Soda and he winked back at me. "So guys, how's school so far?" Soda asked, changing the subject.

Two-Bit shrugged, "I'll probably take the kid back and then leave. I'm gettin' too tired."

"And too old!" Steve laughed, ducking Two-Bit's swing.

Soda grinned, "Get outta here you hoods!" He said, shaking a fist at me and Two-Bit. We laughed and waved goodbye.

Two-Bit drove me back to school. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, taking a deep drag. Two-Bit slipped it out from my fingers and took a puff for himself before handing it back to me.

"Seeya later kid," Two-Bit said running a hand through his hair.

"Later," I replied, getting out of the car and heading off back toward my last class of the day.

When I got home I threw my stuff into my room and flopped down on the bed. I felt so tired. I didn't even realize that I was tired until I got home and sat down on my bed. But when I did, nothing could stop me from going to sleep.