A Father's Final Moment
Author: Tara aka 'LovinJackson'
Summary: In his final moments John could not be more proud of his sons. The epic battle with the Yellow-Eyed Demon was finally over and now he could finally rest. John's POV during his final moments of "AHBL Part 2"
Spoilers: Major ones for "AHBL Part 2"
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Supernatural, John, Dean, Sammy, Bobby or Ellen although i will gladly take Dean if Kripke ever offered. Hell i'd take Johnny too lol
A/N: Okay Mum, this one is for you because i know that you took John's (2nd) death hard lol I miss him too so here's to John Winchester everybody ...
A Father's Final Moment
Many people use the word in everyday speech but I know now that no-one truly knows what it is like until you take the trip yourself. In the bible, and yes I have read it, it says that Hell is a place of physical agony, mental suffering, loneliness and emotional sorrow. It has been described as a place where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth. It is a place of insecurity and fear, a bottomless pit, an abyss, a lake of fire, a fiery furnace. All of those descriptions don't even begin to describe it.
It's like a holding chamber for demons and evil and I had not even considered what would be waiting for me when I sold my soul. I am a hunter … well I was a hunter for over 20 years and I have sent so many things back to hell where they belonged, but it really hadn't occurred to me when making the deal with that yellow-eyed son of a bitch that I was willingly sending myself down to the same place I had sent every evil supernatural thing I had ever hunted and killed. To say that these things were pissed was an understatement.
You would think that once you were dead physical pain would be a thing of the past. Not in Hell. They don't call it eternal damnation for nothing. The heat is stiflingly thick and agonising punishment is a constant.
I have one thought now as I look into the watery green eyes of my first born son. It was worth it. All the suffering, all the pain, it was worth every bit of it to see my boy standing there very much alive and breathing and holding the smoking colt, victorious where I never succeeded.
I don't know how it happened but I had just known that somehow my boys would be in the middle of this latest disaster, not responsible for it, but I knew in my heart with something this big my boys would be there attempting to stop it.
The gates of Hell had been opened, releasing hundreds of Demons and God only knew what other evil presences out into the world. I was never one to not take advantage of a bad situation so I fought my hardest up and away from the abyss and out of Hell's gates.
My heart warmed at seeing my old friend. Bobby Singer and I may have had our disagreements in the past but I knew that he loved my boys and I wasn't in the least bit surprised to see him trying to push close the very gates that I was walking out of. What had been a surprise was the other person helping Bobby to close the gates. It was a person I had not thought about in a long time and a person that I never thought would have anything to do with his fight.
Ellen Harvelle was the last person I would have expected to see in the thick of things especially since I had never even told my sons about her or that fateful night of her husbands death. I'm not sure how much time has passed but it's obvious by the Roadhouse owner's presence that a few things had changed.
As I walked past my two old friends they continued to heave against the doors to close the gates of Hell but my attention was drawn elsewhere. The site before me seemed familiar somehow and it was something that I never wanted to see again.
My youngest son was pinned to a tree by an invisible force while a man I then recognised as the hospital janitor that the demon had taken over when I had summoned him. What sent a shock of horror through me even further was the site of Dean, on the ground, pinned against a headstone by the demons powers. He had a head wound so eerily similar to the head wound he'd had the last time I had seen him.
It was all playing out for a second time and this time I was afraid that the evil bastard was finally going to complete the job. There was no way I was letting the son of a bitch kill my children, not while I could do something about it. The truth was I wasn't entirely sure whether I could do something about it but I was sure as hell gonna try.
As I walked up closer to the demon I looked at my oldest son's face as I heard the taunting words the demon once again threw at my boy's already damaged psyche. Dean's face was a mixture of emotions, frustration, pain, and realisation. Realisation that this was it, the Demon had him dead to rights and this time there was no getting out of it.
I only spared Dean a quick glance as I walked up behind old yellow eyes and I saw the shock in my boy's expressive green eyes before I had my arms wrapped around the demon's torso. I'm not sure how or why exactly but as I grabbed him the demon lost control of its host and the body dropped to the floor. I held on for as long as I could, in hope that I had proven a big enough distraction for someone to finish the job. I was swung around and it wasn't long before I was thrown to the ground … hard and I actually felt it. I was stunned for a moment and just stayed lying on the ground.
I heard a gunshot and my heart fluttered for a second. A sudden terrorising thought that my interference hadn't been enough coursed through me. There was a deafening silence and I lifted my head fearing the worst. Instead what I saw was something I was afraid I was never going to see.
The demon stood for a moment in shock as his chest lit up. I watched from the ground as the demon jerked a few times, sparks flying before the body came crashing down to the ground. Just past where the demon lay Dean was still leaning against the tombstone, the smoking colt still clutched in his hand.
I could hear the mechanisms of the gates of Hell and I knew that Bobby and Ellen had succeeded in closing them. I saw Sam out of the corner of my eye fall to the ground, no longer pinned to the tree. It seemed my youngest wasn't sure what to look at, the dead demon that had destroyed his life or his dead father who was lying not far from him.
Everything was quiet for a moment and I finally broke out of my stupor and stood catching the look of surprise on Bobby and Ellen's face before bringing my attention back to my sons. Dean got to his feet, blinking in confusion. I knew the look on his face. He was trying to grasp the fact that he was really seeing me standing in front of him. I looked down at the Demon whose bullet wound was still smoking. The bullet had done its job. It was surreal. Over twenty years I had been hunting this son of a bitch and looking back up into my oldest sons face I realised that as much as I had wanted to kill it, Dean pulling the trigger was the fitting ending to this chapter of my family's life.
So here I am looking into my sons green eyes which just like mine have unshed tears in them. He hesitantly steps towards me but stops, the pained disbelieving look still plastered on his bloody face. I can feel Sam to my right. He's hanging back still not sure what to make of seeing me standing in front of them but I can't take my eyes off Dean. He looks overwhelmed with emotions that he is trying very hard to keep inside. That's my boy, always trying to be the strong one. I see a hint of guilt there hidden and I can't help but feel a little ashamed because I know I am the cause of that guilt. My decision, despite it saving his life would have weighed heavily on his already burdened shoulders. He has no idea how much his strength saved me time and time again after his mother died. Dean is what held our family together. I know it. I know Sam knows it. I just hope that Dean believes it!
I can't help the smile that graces my face and Dean is still in shock but I see the ghost of a smile on his lips as his eyes stay locked on mine. I walk forward. I am so proud of him, I am so proud of both of them but I need to touch Dean. He deserves so much more and I'm not sure whether it is for his benefit of for my own but I reach out with my left hand, the hand that still surprisingly bares my wedding ring and place it on his shoulder. My heart nearly breaks at the barely contained emotions that this one action causes. He needs this just as much, probably even more than I do. His chin is wobbling. He's trying so hard to keep the tears at bay. I don't even bother fighting them. I feel the tears build as I feel my son's solid, alive body under my hand for the first time since the hospital, however long ago that was.
Sam is still standing off to the side, staring at me with wide eyes. I turn to him, keeping my hand planted on Dean's shoulder. It's the first time I have acknowledged Sam directly. My baby boy is finally free from the demon. Seeing Sam look at me like that, no contempt, no argument itching in his eyes makes the tears finally fall. I have always known that despite the arguments and the resentment that Sam loved me but right now what I see in my eyes is sorrow and love and my heart fills even more. Sam nods at me, in understanding, in greeting. That one nod says so much that words could never and I smile at him and nod back.
Dean is looking at his brother as well and turns back to me the same time I turn to look back at him. The look in his eyes breaks any hold I had left and now the tears are falling freely but I still can't get the smile off my face and I don't want to. Almost everything I have ever wanted has come to pass, the demon is dead and my boys are still standing and have their whole lives ahead of them.
I can feel it now … I don't have much time left. I thank the powers above that I was given this moment to reconnect with my sons before I start along my own path. I don't want to let go of Dean but I know it has to be done. There are a hundred things I want to say to him, to both of them but as I look at them I know that words aren't needed.
I reluctantly stepped back from Dean, losing the contact that we had both craved. The tears in Dean's eyes have yet to fall and once again I am amazed. Sam's are now finally falling and I wish I didn't have to leave them again but I know that they will be alright. They have each other and they have proved time and time again that together they can overcome anything.
I'm still smiling when my gaze once again locks on my oldest sons face. He gives me the slightest of nods and if I hadn't been looking at his face so intently I might have missed it. He looks so much like Mary, he always has. The thought of Mary strikes hope in my heart that maybe finally I will be with her again. Having Mary back would complete this moment, give me everything I ever wanted.
The smile is still on my face as I feel a heat envelop me. Not that same type of stifling thick heat that was Hell but a warm inviting heat. The white light that shines is calming and I look at my sons one last time. Son's that I love so much it almost physically hurts sometimes. Mary's two strong boys who have grown into the strongest men I know. She would be so proud.
As the light envelopes me I know that the suffering I endured in Hell was a small price to pay for having my son alive. I don't regret it at all. I know that when I saved Dean I also saved Sam. I smile at my boys once more as I am able to let go of my former life once again knowing that together they will be able to face anything
Well Guys what did you think? Good? Bad? I havent really written alot of oneshots and this story has been nagging the hell out of me ever since watching the Finale so i had to write it. I finally, after a couple of trys, came up with something i liked. I hope you liked it too and please send a review because i am a review junkie ... i admit it lol Thanks for reading ... new and regular readers of my stories ... i appreciate you all very very much.
On a side note ... The next chapter of "Paying the Price" is written and was ready but i wanna add some things to make it a little longer than it is at the moment ... all for your reading benefit of course hehe. So i thought i would post this first to appease you until my next chapter is up :D which will be later this afternoon (Aussie Time)
Thanks so much for reading and i'll see you soon :D ... Hope you liked this :D