Voice of Reason
Sequel to Who Am I?
Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!
Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!
Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...
Caleb swore as he swerved to miss the rear end of a car suddenly appearing in front of him. 'Damn it Dean hang on to him.' With a quick glance in the side mirrors Caleb slammed his foot on the brake, wrenched the wheel expertly spinning the car around kicking up as much dust and stones as he could to create a small 'smoke-screen'.
'Caleb two more.' Dean reported clinging tightly to Sam, he swivelled around to watch out the back, 'one's dropping back but the other is speeding up.'
'Hang on.' Caleb pressed his foot on the accelerator watching as the speedo inched higher and then without warning skidded and shot down a dirt road on the left, coming to an abrupt halt he did a three point turn and waited with the engine revving and purring under his touch.
'Caleb remember my baby your life.' Dean warned but couldn't help feel the thrill of a true car chase. Sammy mewled softly and buried his head against his brother, scared at what was happening around him.
'Here they come.' Caleb grinned and unconsciously tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Silence reigned in the impala as they watched the dark sedan come speeding towards them. Caleb revved the car and licked his lips, his heart pounding against his chest, he knew if he damaged Sam or the impala or God forbid both then his life well it would be forfeited, in fact forfeited several times over.
'Let's see just how chicken these idiots are.' Caleb whooped and grinned, revving the car even more he threw it into gear and took off in a cloud of dust, pressing his foot down with an even pressure onto the accelerator he drove directly at the approaching car.
Sam's keening became louder as the car sped towards a head-on-collision, making Dean cradle him closer to his chest, holding his hand over Sam's ear, he tried to keep him calm but his efforts had little or no effect on Sammy.
At the last possible moment, the oncoming car swerved and crashed into a tree on the side of the road, coming to a stop with a plume of smoke and debris smothering it.
Caleb let out his breath, chuckled nervously and sped off without looking back, sliding around the next corner he checked for any other cars, worried about the one that pulled back.
'Time to go home guys.' He finally said slowing down to a safer speed.
'Where's the other car Cal?' Dean asked peering around nervously, he hated feeling so out of control, the sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach churned relentlessly.
'Dunno but I think we're right to head back to Herb's now,' Caleb said, 'but might take a detour.'
Half an hour later they pulled up outside the cabin and Caleb and Dean stared at each other over their precious cargo, 'we did it Dean.' Caleb breathed, 'we got Sammy back.'
'Yeah we did, so why does it all feel so screwed?' Dean asked as he started to rouse Sammy. 'Hey little dude we're back you with me?'
'Dean?' Sam blinked owlishly at Dean, 'what happened?'
'Sam?' Dean grinned and cupped Sam's face in his hands, 'it's you?'
'Back at Herb's cabins.' Dean slid out of the car and helped his brother, staggering Sam's fingers tightened to a white-knuckle grip on Dean's arm as the world tilted and span around him in a breakneck speed. 'Whoa Sam take it easy dude.'
'D-Dean? S-Sorry.' Sam mumbled shaking his head to get rid of the fogginess plaguing him. 'T-Tired.'
'Let's get you inside.' Dean's seemingly permanent frown deepened at Sam's stuttering, his internal worry metre rushed towards exploding the mercury. 'Caleb can you go and see where the Doc is?'
'Sure thing, you guys be okay?'
'Yeah, yeah we'll be fine.' Dean guided his dazed brother into the cabin and sat him down on the edge of the closest bed. 'Sam?'
'D-Dean? N-not d-d-dead?'
'No Sam I'm not, that doctor Mac he tried to make you believe it but it was all lies.'
'Damn straight they do ... how about we get you into bed huh?'
'I-I-I t-tried t-t-to hang on.'
'You did Sammy, you did hang on for me.'
'Th-they h-hurt m-me b-b-but I-I hung o-on.'
'Sammy?' Dean dropped to his knees in front of his brother and caught his chin, making him focus on him, 'Sam look at me.'
'I-I t-t-tried D-Dean ... pl-please d-d-d-don't hate m-me.'
'Hey Sam ... Sam look at me,' Dean said a little more forcefully than he intended, 'I can never hate you.'
'Y-you d-d-died an-and I – I couldn't ... my fault.'
'Sammy sh, please don't cry dude, you didn't do anything wrong and that Doctor and the demons they hurt you and lied to you. I didn't die in the accident, please Sam I can't lose you.'
'Wh-why?' Sam sniffed and stared at his brother with a watery gaze, 'Deanie?'
'If you give up on me and think that I'm dead, then I have lost you Sam.'
'No, no ... b-but the D-Doctor s-said ...'
'He was an evil man Sam, he gave you drugs and hurt you to make you confused that's all.'
'Dean? Dude?' Sam blinked and let his gaze leave his brother's face for a few seconds as he took in their surroundings. Realising for the first time since they arrived where they were. 'Herb's c-c-cabin?'
'That's right Sam, Caleb and me we got you outta that place.'
'He ah ... won't hurt you anymore Sammy.'
'Yeah dude?' Dean asked biting the inside of his cheek, he hurt and was tired and Sam's confusion weighed heavily on his mind, the worry and anxiety driving him further into despair.
'Yeah Sammy we're home.'
'G-Good.' Sam nodded and gave Dean a tremulous grin, 't-tired D-Deanie.'
'Lie down Sammy and have a sleep until Doctor Jim gets here.' Dean pulled the blankets back and helped ease his brother beneath them, sitting on the edge of the bed Dean stared down at his brother's pale and bruised face, his stomach clenching so violently he thought he was going to throw up there and then. 'I'm gonna stay right here with you.'
Sam nodded his head sleepily as he let his eyes drift shut, 'd-don't l-leave me.'
'Not going anywhere Sammy I promise.'
An hour later as both boys dozed, Caleb let himself in with Jim and Herb in tow, Missouri stayed at the hospital keeping a very agitated Bobby company, while Jim checked Sam out.
'Huh who?' Dean blinked and stared up at the new arrivals, 'what?'
'It's alright Dean just us.' Caleb couldn't help but grin as he stared down at a sleep-tousled Dean, looking more like a young boy than a grown man. 'how is he?'
'Confused, he's stuttering and drifts from one thing to another, Doc I ...'
'Let me have a look and then we'll talk Dean,' Jim patted the younger man's arm and then sat down on the edge of the bed, 'Sam hey you in there?'
'D-Doctor J-Jim?' Sam mumbled blinking furiously as he tried to pull himself awake, man he was so tired.
'That's right, can I take a look at you?'
'Right here dude, not going anywhere.' Dean said appearing on the other side of the bed, 'Caleb and Herb are here too.'
'K-Kay,' Sam nodded scrubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands, 'g-got head-headache.'
'Sam can you look at me please?' Jim asked pulling a small penlight from his bag, 'that's it just look straight at me.' He said softly flickering the light across Sam's eyes, 'good, good now can you look at Dean but just move your eyes ... that's it well done Sam.'
'D-Doc ... no-no, no m-more d-doctors.' Sam cried out suddenly violently thrashing against Jim, 'n-n-no p-please.'
'Sh Sammy, please calm down.' Dean managed to grab Sam's flailing hands and pulled him tight against him, 'it's okay Sam just breathe deep and calm down.'
'Pl-please d-d-don't ... b-be g-good pr-promise.'
'Hey Sammy it's going to be alright you don't have to promise anymore.' Dean hugged his brother tightly not caring that his own tears were falling and mingling with Sam's.
'Sam please I won't hurt you, I just want to make sure that you're okay.' Jim said his own voice hitching at the boy's obvious distress.
'There you are, okay Sam can you tell me where it hurts the most?'
'M-my head an-and here.' Sam pointed to his throat, 'an-and m-my m-mouth f-feels f-f-funny.'
'Doc, they ah used a rubber gag when they gave him the serum.' Caleb said as he watched the doctor examine Sam. 'they beat him up a few times and injected him in either the neck or the arm.'
'Thanks Caleb, now Sam can you tell me if you have any pain here?' Jim pressed Sam's abdomen gingerly keeping his eyes fixed on Sam's face gauging any reactions, 'what about here?' He meticulously moved in a seemingly haphazard pattern, noting when Sam winced or shuddered with the pain. Just then, when he pressed over one of Sam's kidneys, his young patient jumped and cried out in pain, all colour drained from his already pale face.
'Damn it, Caleb did you see his notes or anything that might have indicated kidney damage?'
'No, no but ... damn it I was told to keep an eye on his urine output it had something to do with the serum.'
'Shit.' The doctor cussed as he covered Sam up with a blanket and tried to give him an encouraging smile. 'Sorry Sam.'
'Why? Wh-what's wr-wrong D-doc?' Sam felt his breathing quickening as the panic rose, 'D-Dean?'
'What's wrong Doc?' Dean asked glancing down at Sam's terror filled face.
'We need to get a scan of Sam's kidneys, now before you get all twisted up I know no more hospitals but ... if Sam's kidneys are starting to fail...'
'How the fuck do we do this?' Dean asked his frustration getting the better of him, 'someone please tell me what to do coz I don't know anymore.'
'D-Dean.' Sam's quiet voice shattered the sudden silence.
'Sam?' Dean blinked and tried to focus on his brother.
'W-what if-if we g-go an-and s-see B-Bobby an ...' Sam struggled to get the words out, he could feel little Sammy clambering wanting to come out and to be with Dean. Sam was just so tired but he knew that if he gave in then he may never make it back and little Sammy would stay out.
'Get the scan done, see Bobby and bring him back?' Dean looked up at Jim, 'can we do it at night when there's hardly anyone around?'
'I can arrange something.' Jim said his relief sounding in his voice, 'good idea Sam.'
'Th-thanks.' Sam huffed out the words and then finally let himself fall asleep, his fingers twisted around Dean's, making sure that his brother was not leaving him.
Bobby sat up and stared at the fragile young man propped up in the wheelchair, a look of utter disbelief on his face, 'Sam?'
'G-Good t-to s-see you t-too B-Bobby.' Sam smiled holding a shaking hand out to his friend. 'You o-okay?'
'Yeah I'm better now.' Bobby said his voice gruff but filled with relief.
'Very good, okay Sam you and Dean are going to come with me to get your scan and then you can come back to visit Bobby.'
'Okay ... th-thanks d-doc.' Sam nodded and gave Bobby another small smile, 'b-back s-soon.'
Bobby watched the men leave and then he turned his attention to Missouri and then to Caleb, 'get my clothes Caleb now.'
'I aint stayin' in here moment longer than I have-ta. That boy is hurtin' and I aint doin' him any good lyin' round here.'
'Robert Singer.' Missouri tried to chide him.
'Now don' you go sassin' me Missouri, I aint stayin' an' that's a fact.' Bobby pulled the leads and patches off and went to get out of bed, 'where's me clothes Caleb?'
'Right here Bobby but you ...' Caleb stopped mid-sentence and put his hands up in surrender when he saw the look on Bobby's face. By the time Dean and Sam came back Bobby was fully dressed, packed and signing the AMA forms.
'Bobby?' Dean looked at his friend and mentor with a quizzical look on his face, and then he huffed a sigh of relief and smiled broadly, 'good to see you up Bobby.'
'Yeah, yeah aint got time for chick flick stuff let's get outta here.'
Sam sat silently next to Dean nibbling on a toasted sandwich, he listened as the others talked and planned but his heart and mind were not in it. He studied the bread for a few minutes, noting the texture and slightly overdone edges before he took another tiny bite and tried to chew it.
He knew that Dean watched him closely so he made it looked like he was eating more than he was, he didn't want to eat but it made Dean happy. Every chance he got he touched his brother, a light brush of fingertip on an arm or leg, fingers twisted in his shirt or just a nudge with his knee, he managed to constantly remind himself that Dean was sitting right next to him.
He let his attention wander as he became bored and started to fidget, he tried to remember everything but it made his head hurt, he wanted to be good for Dean but it was hard sitting so still. He wanted to sleep but as soon as he did, the nightmares assaulted him.
'Sammy you okay?' Dean finally asked breaking the boredom spell.
'M-might d-do s-some s-stuff on, on l-laptop.' Sam spoke quietly just loud enough for Dean to hear.
'It's okay Sammy I'll be right here.' Dean said nodding at Sam, he helped him set the computer up on his bed and made his brother comfortable before rejoining the others seated around the corner. 'So what are we going to do?'
'Dean?' Bobby blinked and stared at his young friend 'what the freaking hell you talking about boy?'
'We can't just sit here with our thumbs up our asses Bobby, he knows he's got us beaten and it aint gonna take long before he ... I can't afford to lose Sam again, I won't. We strike before he does.'
'And where do you propose to strike?' Bobby asked hating having to be the voice of reason.
'I-I dunno but we have to do something Bobby.'
'True, but ... Sam?'
Sam stared blankly at the computer screen, images flashed on it but he ignored them or didn't see them, his breathing hitched as the images in his mind played out in stark technicolour. Wincing with the sudden pain in his head Sam started to keen as he rocked himself cradling his aching head. Toppling sideways, he collapsed into Dean's arms, his older brother just managing to catch him before he hit the floor.
'V-vision.' Sam whispered, 'hurts Dean.'
'Sh, it's okay little bro, it's gonna be okay.'
'D-Demon ... he – he hurt S-Susie.' Sam forced the words out, 'has, has her in ... in argh ... he's in ... b-big b-building.'
'He-here ... n-near he-here.' Sam blinked and stared at Dean as he tried to assimilate his scattered thoughts and the remaining fragments of his vision. 'S-Susie n-needs us.'
'Have-have to he-help her Dean.' Sam said with a sound of finality in his voice. 'T-to he-help me.'
You're not coming Sam.' Dean declared as they finished preparing for the hunt, 'you are going to stay here safe with Herb.'
'N-no D-Dean, I – I have t-to go.' Sam pleaded with his brother, the argument now nearing it's second hour showing no signs of ending anytime soon. 'S-Susie n-needs me an-and it's m-my v-v-vision.'
'Sam I said no it's too dangerous.'
'N-Not s-safe with-without you.' Sam cried out finally pulling a full on puppy-pout.
'Oh so not fair Sam.' Dean relented, 'I am gonna regret this.'
'Nope.' Sam smiled showing a glimpse of the old confident Sam, 's-simple in-an-out.'
'Yeah, yeah but there are conditions ... Sam listen to me you stay behind me at all times and no going off on your own.'
'Damn it Sam listen to me, you have ... your kidney's shot, you're still healing from what that doctor did to you ... man I wish you would just stay here and rest.'
'D-Dean no.' Sam pulled himself up to his full height and glared down at his older brother, 'p-please d-don't l-leave me.'
'Ah Sammy, okay so you promise to do what I tell ya?'
Sam nodded and grinned shyly, 'p-promise.'
Dean stared suspiciously at his brother, Sam agreed too quickly and there was no sign of his little Sammy persona. 'Owkay but if you're messing with me or anything you'll ...'
'I know D-Dean.' Sam smiled as he relaxed slightly, feeling more like a trusted brother and not a little kid and a nuisance.
'Let's get going then.' Dean put himself in front of Sam and made sure it was safe before they left the safety of the cabin and ran for the car. Large storm clouds, heavy dark and petulant, pulsating with demonic intent loomed over them as the small convoy of a classic car and pickup truck made their way out of the car park and onto the highway.
Dean picked himself up on shaking legs and shook his head, that hurt. Straightening his shoulders and cracking his neck Dean started to wade back into the fight. Sam huddled in the corner with Susie, the little girl sitting too stiffly, too quietly on his knee as the others battled with the minions of the demon. 'Ah Samuel so nice to see you again.' A voice hissed bringing Sam out of his internal reverie. 'I thought you might have forgotten me.'
Sam stared up at the demon, his mind reeling back to that day so long ago. 'No, no, no.'
'Oh yes Sammy, long time no see and all of that. So, how ya been?'
'Leave me alone, leave my brother alone.' Sam snarled slowly standing he pulled Susie behind him, 'What did you do to Susie's mom and baby brother?'
'They are ... were very tasty but not worth the worry.' The demon shrugged and grinned showing Sam his mouthful of pointy and very sharp fangs. 'I have missed you Sammy boy.'
'My name is Sam.'
'Ah yes that wonderful independent streak, I hear you've had a few health problems.'
'Nothing we can't handle.' Sam shot a nervous look over to Dean but his brother was too busy fighting to look over at him.
'Oh dear looks like your brother and friends are struggling over there.'
'Leave them alone it's between you and me.'
'Always lover boy.'
'Don't ... please don't.' Sam shuddered and tried to step away from the demon keeping himself firmly between the monster and child.
'Don't what baby boy?'
'C-Call me th-that.'
'Oh Sammy you wound me.' The demon mocked Sam, 'we can always pick up where we left off.'
'Why – why d-did you ... Wh-what di-did I do t-to you?'
'Ah dear boy not what you did to me it's what I can do for you.' The demon gloated, 'now enough skipping around you're going to come with me now.'
'Samuel come with me now.'
'You do not have a choice in the matter.'
'Y-Yes I do.' Sam cried out as the white haze filled his mind again.
'Sammy? Sammy can you hear me?' Dean almost sobbed as he cradled Sam's lifeless body in his arms, 'what happened? Can someone please tell me what the fuck just happened?'
'Sam made my daddy go away.' Susie pouted, 'why?'
'Listen to me little girl.' Bobby tried to sound comforting and nice to the little girl but her shrill voice cut through the pain in his head like a blunt knife. 'Sam saved you from a very nasty man.'
'He liked me.'
'No, he wanted to use you and hurt your family.'
'No he my daddy.'
'No, sorry honey but he was a bad man and not your daddy.'
'How about I take her and have a chat?' Missouri said appearing from seemingly nowhere, 'what? You think that I'm gonna let ya'll have all the fun?'
'Dean, come one let me check Sammy.' Caleb said trying to pry Dean's arms away from Sam, 'I have to check him.'
'I promised him to look after him Cal.' Dean said not listening, the shock settling into him. 'I promised to protect him.'
'Dean?' Sam's faint whisper startled his brother.
'Sammy?' Dean ran his hand over Sam's face, unsure if he had heard him, 'Sammy?'
'You tell me little brother.'
'I – I ... th-the d-demon?'
'Gone Sammy you did your mojo again.'
'Don't understand ... Susie?'
'She's fine, a little loud and annoying the shit out of Bobby but alright.'
'Dean ... you?'
'I'm fine Sammy, nothing I can't handle.' Dean grinned, 'what about you Sammy?'
'I-I ... o-okay g-guess.' Sam stared up at Dean his confusion evident in his green eyes and the look he wore on his face. 'W-we g-go ho-home?'
'Yeah dude.' Dean tried to feel something but when he took in the devastation surrounding them, the hollow pit in his stomach just got a little deeper.
The image of Sam standing in the middle of the maelstrom, debris and bodies flying around them like annoying insects. With the wind whipping through his long hair and his green eyes glittering like shards of jade Sam looked like an avenging Angel.
Helping his brother up Dean swayed and nearly fell backwards when he felt a pair of strong hands holding him. looking down he saw Sam staring up at him, his hands firm around Dean. 'You o-okay D-Dean?'
'Yeah I am Sammy, come on dude I'm starving.'
Dean stretched out in his bed and heaved a sigh of relief for the first time in months hell even more than a year now he was able to relax. Really relax, Sam slept in the bed next to his, they were safe and no one was trying to kill his brother or himself. All in all it was a good result. His relief was short-lived though when he looked at Sam, sleeping peacefully for now. But the nightmares will wake him, his screams and terror so palpable that Dean lived them along with Sam. The last two weeks made Dean feel like they were living on eggshells. Waiting for the penny to drop and for something to go wrong with Sam.
Jim said that his kidney functions were better and he may not lose his right kidney after all. The swelling of his brain was slowly breaking up and reducing, the medications stopped the convulsions and other meds helped him with the swelling and subsequent headaches. They had dodged another proverbial bullet. But something didn't feel right, each day was a new day with Sam, not sure who would wake up Dean thought seriously about retiring from hunting. To settle down and find a home for him and Sam, to find someone who could help look after his brother.
Glancing over at him, Dean realised that Sam was awake and watching him intently, 'hey sleepy head ready to get up?'
'Don' wanna.' Sam mumbled scrunching further down under his blankets, 'Deanie?'
Dean's head shot up and he stared at Sam, the penny finally dropped, 'yeah Sammy?'
'D-Deanie? S-Sammy s-scared.'
'What about Sammy?'
'B-Bad m-man ... he-he d-d-did b-ad to S-Sammy.'
'Aw Sammy, he can't hurt you anymore.'
'Y-yeah he-he c-can.' Sam nodded his eyes wide and filled with fear. 'S-Sammy s-scared.'
Dean climbed out of his bed and went to sit behind Sam pulling his brother close to his chest hugging him tightly, 'why are you scared Sammy?'
'D-Don' wa-wanna g-go an-and l-leave D-Deanie.'
'Hey Sammy you're not going anywhere without me.' Dean said pulling Sam tighter against his chest.
'B-bad m-man in-in h-here.' Sam started to hit the side of his head with his fist, 'he-he s-says s-s-stuff.'
'Sammy I promise you that I will look after you, and help get you all better.'
'B-but he-he s-says ... hurt you D-Deanie.'
'Ah Sammy, okay I think it's time we get outta here.'
'W-we g-gotta l-leave?'
'Yeah go somewhere safe without the bad man.'
'B-Bobby an-and C-Cal too?'
'Nah just us Sammy, think you can handle it?'
'You bet Deanie.' Sam smiled and hugged his brother, 'D-Deanie?'
'C-coz l-little S-Sammy won-won't go w-way.'
'We'll get you better Sammy, so both you and Sam will be okay.'
'Promise Sammy, so you wanna help me pack?'
An hour later with the impala packed, goodbyes to Herb, his wife Daisy and Doctor Jim said the brothers faced three more friends. Missouri hugged the two boys tightly, her hand lingering over Dean's for a moment, 'he'll be fine Sugar, just give him time.'
She whispered in Dean's ear. Nodding mutely Dean went on to say goodbye to Caleb and Bobby, an overwhelming feeling of dread descended over him, feeling as though this could be a last goodbye. 'Catch ya on the flipside.'
'Take care you eedjit and look after that brother of yours but let him look after you too.'
'We're just a call away Dean remember that.' Caleb said before turning to hug Sam bye.
As the impala peeled out of the carpark leaving their friends watching them disappear over the horizon, another pair of eyes flashed from black to red, a shadow moved and then disappeared leaving behind a distinct odour of sulphur.
Sam hummed softly and giggled as the breeze flowed across his face and tangled his long hair.
'We have to get you a haircut Sammy.' Dean said glancing over at his brother's antics.
'Yeah little dude?'
'I-I m-miss S-Sam.' He said in a matter-of-fact tone, 'he-he s-smarter th-than me.'
'Hey Sammy no ... you're smart too little dude just in a different way.'
'Nah-huh I – I don' ... an-and I – I t-talk f-funny.'
'Sammy, hey look at me, I am so proud of you Sammy so don't you even think like that, Sam will come back when he's ready he's just got to get better first.'
'Oh ... d-do yo-you w-want m-me t-to g-go way? L-Let S-Sam come back?' The question was asked so softly that Dean almost didn't hear Sam. Sighing heavily he pulled the car onto the side of the road and swivelled around to face his baby brother.
'Sammy, I love you just as much as Sam, and it doesn't matter which one stays or goes I love you both and you will always be my brother no matter what.'
'That is one promise I know I can keep Sammy.'
'S-Sammy g-gets s-scared ... b-bad m-man m-makes S-Sam s-sad.'
'How does he do that?' Dean couldn't help but ask, his curiosity getting the better of him.
'He-he s-says me-mean th-things. S-Sam wa-wants t-to c-cry an-and h-hide.'
'What bad things do you hear Sammy?'
'B-Bout wh-what h-he d-did t-to S-Sam, f-fore S-Sammy c-comes.'
'S-Sammy he-help Sam.' Sammy muttered as he yawned and settled back to sleep, 'S-Sammy hel-help S-Sam, h-hide S-Sam.'
The End (For now)
The last in the Who Am I? trilogy will be up soon, will Sam ever be Sam again or will Dean be raising little Sammy all over again. AND is the demon really gone or is he hunting the hunters again?
Look for He Aint Heavy, He's My Baby Brother.