A/N: so, I'm doing this for a friend who dared me I could not write a HP Fanfiction with the following in it (Good thing she doesn't know I only like HGDM storys, huh? –grins evilly-)


Letters (as in post from owls)

Hermione and Draco together

Harry dressed as a chicken

Zambini with a rubber duck

Pansy caught trying to snog Snape (mwuhaha, I'll have fun with that one)

Glitter glue

One WILD, bad-ass party

Blue-lensed sunglasses

Alright, let the fun begin :o

Draco tugged inadvertly at his school robes and checked once more that his shiny new 'Head Boy' badge was securely on his chest before he pounded his way down to the Great Hall, they had been back at Hogwarts for a little over three weeks, and there had already been 6 fights between the Slytherin and Gryffindors in the seventh year alone.

Dumbledore had called Granger and himself from their common room (yeah, he had to share with her) to discuss the current problem of inter-house unity (or lack there-of). So there he had been, listening to Granger babble on about some anonymous letter-sending plot. Draco found it as a load of centaur shit, but Dumbledore obviously did not, he sat there simply soaking it all in like a sponge or some other unattractive creature, liking the idea Granger was feeding him.

So, here he was, in his whole school attire, heading for the Great Hall with none other than the mudblood bitch herself (Granger) to announce to the student-body about 'our' great idea for inter house unity. Centaur-Shit, the lot of it.

"Fellow students," Granger began after they had reached the table where the teachers sit and had been granted use of Dumbledore's chair in the exact center, her voice magically magnified. "For the next month you will all be given a number which will correspond with another student in another house, you will owl them back and forth with the use of an owl not belonging to either of you, to hide identities, you will be using owls provided by the school that only you and your partner will know belongs to you, these letters will not be sent at meal times, they will be sent to your dormitories, and we will know if you break any rules . If you fail to send your letters the pair of you will be given suspension from Hogwarts for two weeks," At this everyone, including the Slytherins, gasped, "And 100 points will be deducted from each house," she continued boldly. From the death glares shot to her from the Slytherin table, Draco was surprised that Granger had not stopped or faltered in her speech, as she was now glaring at Pansy.

Draco decided to block Hermione out (something no one else would do, afraid of the consequences) since she had rehearsed her speech on him after all, he knew it by heart (in case she forgot or got flustered). I know, shocking Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger being somewhat civil? Not a chance, not a chance in hell. The only reason he was kind to her was that he knew for a fact that Dumbledore would renounce his badge if he did not pull through with this.

"Furthermore, once you pull your slips of paper you are not to tell anyone," she looked heatedly at Weasel-bee and Pothead when she said this, they turned their heads away swiftly, somewhat embarrassed, "what your number is, this is completely confidential, even once this letter-sending is over you are not to reveal who you are unless you intend to keep correspondence afterwards, even after finding out who the person is. You are all to choose your slips and then you are dismissed to your dormitories." She finished a distinct finality to her tone.

Everyone waited for Draco and Granger to exit the room before they followed, close at the Head Boy and Girl's heels. They swiftly came upon a magically enlarged goblet, where an almost-clear liquid resided, is seemed to turn quickly from crimson to blue to green to yellow and back again over and over again, but Draco did not care about the liquid, he quickly snatched his hand into the cauldron and smirked at the piece of paper in his hands, how… fitting.

In a carefully scripted handwriting his parchment said '69'. He strolled over to the great oaf, Hagrid who was behind a screen concealing about 200 owls behind.

"Malfoy," He grunted. Draco merely bobbed his head once before looking at the numbers on the owls, he walked over to the one with the '69' written on it's nameplate and looked it up and down, it was white with grey flecks through it's feathers, it had piercing amber eyes and it looked intelligent – they might just get along. He looked at it and said 'Draco Malfoy' a bit lazily before offering it his finger and stroking its head once, it gave him a less-than-affectionate nip on the hand before he strolled away, back to his dormitory.

Draco looked at his paper once again and scowled. It was faintly red, if he had not been looking for a color he would not have seen it, god damn it, his partner was a Gryffindor.

. - . - . - .

Hermione watched Draco's retreating back as she scowled slightly. Does that boy ever listen to her? No, why would she think he ever would?

She sighed and the second years next to her looked up at her with worried expressions, she smiled at them and waited for all of the students to pick their numbers. Once they were all done she reached into the goblet and took out the last number in the shining liquid.

The paper was slightly tented with a green color. Great her partner was a Slytherin.

She flipped the parchment over to look at the number, it read '69' in large looping letters.

. - . - . - .

Draco flopped down in his bed in the Head dormitories and stared out at the wall.

He decided he would go ahead and write a letter to the insufferable Gryffindor that he got as a partner.

Dear insufferable twit, he began, but he crossed that out hastily, trying to find a better approach.

Not too long after he had scribbled out Dear tenacious Gryffindor, Dear stupid git, and Dear obstinate fool the owl he had seen earlier zoomed down onto his bedclothes, shaking feathers onto his silver and green sheets. Draco scowled before lifting the bird gently off his bed and over to his desk, where he gently unwrapped the letter on the owl's leg.

He absentmindedly stroked the bird's head as he opened the letter. His finger stopped mid-stroke as he read the letter, anger began to boil behind his eyes, they changed from the usual steel blue to a stormy grey as he read the letter.

Dear intolerable malevolent Slytherin,

I'll keep this short and to the point, since there is a very good chance you don't even know what 'intolerable' or 'malevolent' means. I really do not want to spend my perfectly good time corresponding with an unintellectual git of a Slytherin, but there's no choice. So do me a favor and think of something remotely smart to say before you write a letter to me. I'll do you a favor an answer what I bet is on your mind: No, I am not a pureblood, since that's all you people care about.

-A very mad Gryffindor

Draco could literally feel his temper flare as he read farther down the letter; how DARE they say that he is not intellectual? He was probably smarter than all the little Gryffindors combined – except maybe Granger. He grabbed his eagle-feather quil from the desk and a fresh piece of parchment and he began to scribble out a reply to that hot-headed correspondent of his.

. - . - . - .

Hermione sat cross-legged on her bed, her Transfiguration homework spread out across her lap when the post owl returned. She looked at it, eyes wide with surprise. She had not expected any of the Slytherins to be able to figure out half of what she had written, let alone think of a comeback before dinner time tomorrow, she had obviously under-estimated this one.

She unwrapped the parchment from around the owl's leg and set it gently onto her comforter – she'd get rid of the feathers later. She offered the owl a treat before heading over to her desk and read the letter. She began to scowl as she read farther and farther in the note.

Dear tenacious twit,

I can bet you almost anything that I am smarter than you are. And I also have more brain capacity than the size of a pea, just because other people in my house are stupid pureblood gits does not mean that I am. Just because my father believes that if you are not pureblood means that you aren't worth anything more than dirt does NOT mean that I do, and I would prefer not to be stereotyped. Especially by some Gryffindor who does not even know me, and I advise that if this correspondence is going to work, then you are going to have to give me a little more credit. I might even give you the benefit of the doubt if you take back all the vulgar things you said about me in your last post.

-A Slytherin who is smarter than you think

Hermione looked down at the paper in alarm. A smart Slytherin, now that she had to see, but for now she would keep writing, and soon she would figure out who this supposed 'smart' student really is.

. - . - . - .

Draco waited impatiently for a new letter full of insults – if there was something that he could do it was insult someone. And if they planned on insulting his hell yes he would insult back, but instead of a long letter dropped off by the post owl it came swooping in, dropping a thin note and flying back out before Draco could do anything.

He looked down at his paper and read what the Gryffindor had to say, he laughed once, he had to admit, this Gryffindor had spunk. Maybe, just maybe they'd get along.

Fine, I'll give you a chance to prove yourself, but you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

Was the reply. Draco did not know how true that statement was.

A/N: hope it's good so far, you know how everything is a little slow at the beginning…