Yoshizilla: YAAAAY! IT'S STAR WARS 30th ANNIVERSARY TODAY! WOOHOOOOOO! (throws confetti)
Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Technically, now that I updated, it's actually the 40th-
Yoshizilla: No one cares about you, future me! (coughs constantly) ...Anyway, not only that, but I decided to do a special Star Wars fanfic in honor of one of the greatest series ever created. And since Darth Vader is THE best Star Wars character, hands down, it's centered around him. So enjoy!
Disclaimer: I hope he haven't drunk too much Pepsi.
A Stormtrooper: (just standing there casually) Why?
Anakin Skywalker: I have a bad feeling about this... something stupid will happen...
Inside the second Death Star, Darth Vader was reading a book, which had the title 'How to Survive with Bumbling Idiots'. A pair of Stormtroopers arrived.
"Lord Vader," The first Stormtrooper said, "We have spotted the rebels on the forest moon of Endor."
"They're planning to attacking us at the base." The second Stormtrooper added, "What should we do?"
Darth Vader gave the two Stormtroopers a blank look. "Why are you asking me this? Shouldn't you be able to handle this yourselves?"
The two Stormtroopers looked at each other, and then back at Darth Vader. "Good point." They walked off.
Darth Vader sighed and continued reading his book. "Idiots..." He muttered to himself, when a hologram of the Emperor appeared.
"Lord Vader," The Emperor instructed, "I ran out of milk and cookies. Can you come up to my office in Coruscant and bring them with you?"
Darth Vader muttered to himself. "As you wish, Master." When the hologram turned off, he rolled his eyes and added, "Idiot."
The Emperor's hologram reappeared. "What did you just say?"
Darth Vader stuttered. "Um, er, uh..." He chuckeld nervously, "Nothing. I said nothing."
The Emperor sighed, and his hologram disappeared. The hologram reappeared quickly as Palpatine had something else to say.
"...Did I ever tell you about the tragedy of Dark Plageius the Wise?" Palpatine stated with a smile.
"Yes." Darth Vader groaned as he turned off the hologram physically, shaking his head. "Many times."
"...Oh, I hate it when he does that!" Palpatine snapped as he placed both of his hands on his face, realizing how much of a killjoy Darth Vader was.
Darth Vader then looked at himself in the mirror, and he then turned to see the forest moon of Endor. "Hmmm... nobody cared who I was until I put on the mask. I do feel like a big guy... for you." He then lit up his red lightsaber, looking at it as he pondered. "I wonder how my son's doing after 30 years..."
On the forest moon of Endor, we see Luke Skywalker, and a handful of Ewoks, burning a certain gungan named Jar Jar Binks on a bonfire. He laughs and pokes the dead gungan with a stick. "Who's up for fried gungan?"
"ME!" Chewbacca shouted (of course by roaring, not actually talking), snatching the burnt body of the burnt Gungan and running off.
Luke gasped. "Hey! Get back here!" He started chasing after Chewbacca, and the Benny Hill music started to play.
Back on the second Death Star, Darth Vader was going down an elevator shaft, with a plate of milk and cookies.
"If anyone asks..." Darth Vader mutters to himself, "I'll just say... Santa Claus made me his apprentice." He got into his TIE fighter and flew off to Coruscant.
The hologram of Emperor Palpatine returned. "Lord Vader, what is taking you so long? I'm growing umpatient."
Darth Vader growled a bit. "Just hold on, master, the milk and cookies are on the way."
"You better not stall, or you'll face the consequences..." Emperor Palpatine growled, "Just like that fool, Mace Windu, before he died." He disappeared.
Darth Vader sighed and shook his head. 'You know, becoming the Emperor's apprentice wasn't a good idea after all. Yes, I'm all-powerful and feared, but my darling wife Padme..." He started sobbing uncontrollably. "Stupid Obi-Wan! If he didn't follow her, this would have never happen-" He crashed into another TIE fighter, but not only accidentaly destroying it, but also dropping the cookies and milk in the progress. Darth Vader gasped. "I dropped it! The milk...and the cookies!" He slammed his right fist on the control pad, and he then screamed, in all his dramatic glory, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
PLEASE STAND BY
Later, on Coruscant, Darth Vader sulked to the Emperor's office, appearing in front of Emperor Palpatine. He kneeled down, sighing. "My lord...about the cookies and milk..."
Emperor Palpatine gritted his teeth. "Yes...what about them...?" He snarled.
Darth Vader sighed. "Well...I dropped them on my way...and I lost them as a result..." He got up and noticed the Emperor growling with rage.
"Lord...Vader..." Emperor Palpatine growled in a vicious tone, "You...have...failed...ME...the...great...Emperor...Palpatine..." Darth Vader yawned, looking at his stopwatch, and then looking back at Emperor Palpatine, "For...the...very...last...time..." He got up, and he started using his Sith Lighting on Darth vader, electrocuting him.
Darth Vader moaned in pain, but he managed to withstand its power. "No! I won't be defeated! Not by a weak, old frail Sith like YOU!" He used the force to pick up Emperor Palpatine, and he proceeded to slamming Emperor Palpatine on the wall several times, finishing by slamming the now lifeless body of the Emperor of the Galaxy on the ground.
Darth Vader stood there for several minutes, looking down at Emperor Palpatine's dead body. He looked up, and he laughed maniacally. "MwahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
A few minutes later, we can see Darth Vader presuming the role of Emperor of the Galaxy, with a portrait of Emperor Palpatine in the background, and with a statue of Darth vader replacing the statue of Emperor Palpatine.
"WESSA FREE!" Shouted a random gungan, who was then blasted to death by Darth Vader's new Sith Lighting ability.
Darth Vader chuckled evilly. "It's good to be the Emperor." And then he pondered what to do from there, because... he did all of this in the name of love.
Oh little Ani, how much of you has changed. Was it worth it, Anakin? Was it really worth the risk?
"...NOOOO!" Darth Vader stated as he then decided to end this story out of shame.