It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Lips of an Angel- Hinder
At this moment, Shinji Ikari was now officially unsure of how things had come up to this point. It all seemed simple at first; accompany Asuka as she went for her usual walk through the park, how hard could that be? Normally, Shinji wouldn't dare intrude on the German's private leisure time but he was on Misato's orders to join Asuka after she had witnessed the two teenagers arguing again.
"I want you two to settle your differences before I come back," she told them as she adjusted one of her earrings. Once again getting ready for another date with Hyuga.
"Why should we? We're not kids anymore, Misato. You can't give us orders!" Asuka rebutted, offended that Misato would bold enough to tell her former "children" on how they should act or solve their problems.
"This is not an order, it's a threat. For fuck's sake, you're both eighteen and you're still acting like a bunch of elementary kids! If you guys don't solve your dilemmas, then I'll take it upon me to post up those photos of you both of in those lycra bike shorts on Myspace. Plus, I will ban your TV, internet and tell the others that you're not allowed to hang out with them for a week."
Asuka gasped, "What!? You wouldn't."
"Do I look like the person to make empty threats?" Misato asked sternly, Asuka stared into guardian's eyes, both of them waiting the other to look away, however, Shinji knew from previous rounds of Misato Vs Asuka who would win and it had always been Misato.
As if on cue, Asuka blinked. "GODDAMNIT!"
"Now that that's been settled, I'll see you guys later. Have fun," she teased with a wink before walking out of the apartment.
Shinji noticed a sudden tension in the room making him feel uneasy and unsure of what to say to her, but luckily Asuka did it for him. "Gott Shinji, why didn't you try to stand up to her? You always back down, don't you have any spine at all?"
Before he could respond, the German continued, "I said it once and I will say it again; There's nothing more useless than a housebroken male."
"Damn it Asuka, why do you always have to do this! Why do you always think that it's okay for you to insult me and make me feel like crap? What have I ever done to make you hate me so much?" he growled, feeling frustration towards his flatmate again.
Only Asuka Langley Sohryu had the blessed gift of making Shinji Ikari go from Mr Brightside to Unit 01 berserker, at the velocity of the speed of light.
"Goddamnit Shinji, you're so friggin' stubborn when you want to be," Asuka muttered, softly pushing Shinji backwards until his back gently collided with the cherry blossom tree that loomed over the couple.
"One of us has to be," he countered, a smirk had plastered itself all over his handsome features. Asuka felt slightly irritated at his suddenly carefree attitude but had no time to respond to his statement as he already pulled her into another kiss.
"I'm going out for a walk," was the only response Asuka gave and began to walk away.
"Well then I have to come with you, now won't I?" Shinji replied with a small sigh, following her actions only to be halted when Asuka turned around.
"I don't think so. Walking time is my time, and right now I don't feel like looking at you."
"Damn you, Asuka!" Shinji ran his hand through his hair, letting out a sigh of frustration before looking at her again. "You are so friggin' stubborn!"
"One of us has to be," crossing her arms and placing one hip to the side. Asuka looked at him with complete defiance, silently provoking him into fighting back, Shinji took the bait.
"Hey are you saying that I'm-"
"I'm merely reporting the facts."
"It just is. Accept it."
"Hey why do you treat me this way?"
For once tonight, Asuka was unable to come up with another retort, instead she replied, "I'll be leaving in five minutes. It's cold tonight so I'm going to put on something warmer and if you peep while I'm changing, you're dead."
"It's hardly worth risking my life," the brown-haired man rolled his eyes when she left the room.
"I heard that!" she yelled from her room, Shinji cringed.
Super hearing! He thought, grimacing. He was definitely not looking forward to the outcomes when Asuka would come back.
Shinji grabbed Asuka's thigh to pull her closer to him. Letting his hand rub back and forth against the denim fabric of Asuka's jeans, his fingers soon became entangled with the fine silky threads of the German's auburn hair.
"Do you know how hard it is trying to keep away from you? I'm trying to keep a promise to myself and here you are; taunting me with those damn lips of yours. They're like the lips of an angel," Shinji muttered. Chuckling gently at first before harshly pulling her caramel leather jacket off and throwing it to the ground.
For a moment he was able to enjoy drinking in the sight of Asuka's milk-white skin being illuminated from the moonlight, before he lost his remaining self-control and grabbed her into another kiss.
"Ready Third," Asuka said as left her bedroom.
Shinji didn't need to change into any other clothing as he was already wearing jeans and a long-sleeved grey sweatshirt, all he would need was a jacket and he had plenty of those to choose from.
"Yes" he replied. It took a moment for him to finally notice that for once as long as he could remember, Asuka did not have her interface clips in her hair.
"Well let's go. You're wasting valuable time here."
Shinji quickly ran into his room and got his black jacket before he caught up to Asuka, who was slipping her feet into leather boots that were the same colour as her jacket.
I wonder if she's trying to keep everything colour co-ordinated, rolling his eyes at the idea and followed her out of the apartment.
A moan escaped Asuka's lips as Shinji's own trailed from the beginning of her neck and made their way down to her collarbone, reaching over her pounding heart. She wondered if the young man could hear it at the same volume as she could, feeling so sure that if the intensity of this pounding continued harshly into her ear drums, she would soon become deaf.
"You stole that off a song, so that doesn't count," she murmured, letting her stubbornness be worn as her mask. Despite the given situation, Asuka still felt the need to protect herself and her already crumbling heart as there were only so many times it could take abuse before enough was enough.
"Come on Asuka. You've gotta give me a little credit, that song is a classic!"
Asuka rolled her eyes at the thought of Shinji's bizarre choice of music, before she closed them again and let herself to enjoy the warmth & comfort that were responding from Shinji's kisses. In her mind, the red head desperately tried to analyse the emotions that were going through her soul right at this moment. Was it comfort? Fear? Love?
But more importantly; how did I let it come to this point? Her mind silently wondered, soon feeling her defences be lowered as all her inhibitions were beginning to drown within Shinji's embrace.
It was beautiful tonight. No clouds, the sky was completely clear, making it easy for the former pilots to enjoy gazing at the billions of stars that scattered across the velvetly-navy blue sky. Asuka remembered Shinji once commenting on the irony that without artificial light, the sky was so beautiful at night. Although she had agreed with his statement, she confessed to not only him but Wonder Girl as well, that she felt more comfortable seeing lights.
"What are you thinking about?" Shinji's questions forced the former pilot of Unit 02 out of her day dreaming, slightly irritated that he had dared to ruin this moment.
"Remembering," was the only reply she could be bothered to give. Asuka wasn't in the mood for another argument tonight.
Oh Gott, what's with this shit all of a sudden? She groaned inwardly, rolling her eyes. Has Shinji decided to piss me off by trying to play twenty fucking questions?
"When you, Wonder Girl and I defeated the spider angel that looked like a poorly done Picasso piece."
Shinji chuckled at the joke. "Yeah, it did look like that. Didn't it?"
"Of course it did! Otherwise I wouldn't of brought it up at all." Moron.
"Those were the days, weren't they?"
Asuka raised an eyebrow. Now that's something interesting.
"I thought you hated piloting Eva. In fact as I recall, apparently you called it quits twice."
Shinji cringed. "How did you know about the other time?"
"Misato told me. I don't get it Shinji, why do you hate piloting Eva so much yet be able to find comfort in it?"
A small giggle escaped Asuka's lips as she listened to Shinji give a small cry of triumph as he managed to undo the front buttons of her white strapless top but his victory was only momentarily. Asuka laughed again when she heard his silent curses with his struggles to remove her strapless bra.
Come on Shinji, you're almost there. Once it's off we can finally-
"Shiest!" Asuka whispered in panic, feeling her heart's beat increase even further at her sudden realisation. Mein gott, we're about to do it! I'm about to become just like Misato with a guy whom I can't even stand.
"Wait Shinji, stop! I can't do this," she realised, pulling back from Shinji's warm embrace finding herself feeling cold from the lack of his touch. To regain some sort of warmth, Asuka picked up her top & jacket and struggled to put them on again.
"Wait, what? You want to stop?" he asked in disbelief, feeling disappointment gently pit itself within the centre of his stomach whilst hurt approached his heart with a numbing ache.
"Yes dummkopf. I don't want to do this with a weak, whiny little boy like you!" she spat, disgusted at the thought.
I'd rather die than do it with you. But Asuka didn't want to tell Shinji that, because although she was a cold bitch at heart, even she had her limits of being inhumane.
"What was your most fond memory of our piloting days?" Asuka asked, feeling curious to what he would say. Probably something that happened before I came here.
"When we synchronised with each together for those six days," Shinji answered honestly, partly surprising the red head, yet secretly pleasing her at the same time.
"Pervert," she responded with a small smile. "I can't believe you try to kiss me while I was sleeping."
Once again Shinji cringed. "Yeah and I can't believe you made me confess it in front of NERV."
Asuka laughed at the memory of when they bickered, she remembered how embarrassed each pilot felt after realising they had done in front of all NERV personnel and Commander Fuyutski. "And then we actually kissed but neither of us spoke about it." Instantly regretting what she said.
"Damn it Asuka, I'm not fourteen anymore!" Shinji spat back feeling himself become fuelled by anger. "I've learnt from my mistakes and I've learnt to not run away anymore, but why do you keep bringing it up?"
Asuka slightly flinched but she didn't let it show. Had Shinji asked that exact same question any other time, Asuka would have either responded violently or not acknowledge it at all. But for some reason on that night, she didn't have the strength to act on either of those options. Instead she looked into his eyes with raw honesty reflecting in hers, and answered his question.
"Because you let me down when I needed you the most."
"Was I really that terrible that you needed to rinse your mouth out?" Shinji had asked it expecting disappointment, making Asuka feel guilty about her past actions. She should be honest with him, Asuka decided, he deserved that.
"If you really must know, I never washed my mouth out. I just pretended because I felt cut that you pulled back," she admitted, feeling a blush creep upon her cheeks.
Mein gott, she thought at realising what she had just said. I can't believe I just confessed that!
"You didn't leave me with much choice. You pinched my nose and I couldn't breathe, what did you expect?"
Hearing that made Asuka realise that she had been the one at fault.
Shinji stood there in complete shock at her answer, Asuka became enraged before breaking eye contact with him and walking off. A moment passed before Shinji realised Asuka left him behind. He regained his senses and ran to catch up with her, but the German female was refusing to look at him.
"What do you mean, when you 'Needed me the most'?! When did you need the most?" He suddenly felt confused. How could Asuka Langley Sorhyu; the designated pilot of Eva 02 and the strongest person that Shinji had both ever known and envied, need Shinji Ikari? The boy who she had always considered to be an idiotic, perverted coward whose selection as a pilot "Must've been a joke, right?"
Was this even the same person that Shinji was thinking about?
"But still, it had been a pretty amazing kiss," Shinji confessed.
WHAT?! "Oh really? Have you kissed anyone else since then?" Asuka once again regretted asking, because if he replied 'No' then she would be relieved and if he replied 'Yes' her heart would sink in disappointment. Either way it would be a lose/lose situation for the young woman.
Shinji stopped walking causing Asuka to do the same a few moments later. She walked back to him and saw that his blue eyes were dark with thought as they gazed into hers. His voice was thick with emotion when he replied, "No."
Asuka considered answering another one of Shinji's questions, but quickly decided against it. You've already made yourself as vulnerable as it is, her mind scolded to her. He doesn't need another reason to believe that there could be a chance of us being in a relationship, not like that there is a chance anyway... You haven't even told him about the acceptance letter.
"Never mind. Just forget any of that has happened tonight. Got it?" She hoped that Shinji would comply, sadly she was mistaken.
"No I won't forget it," he protested, grabbing Asuka shoulders so she would be forced to face him. "I want to know when it was so!"
Asuka wondered if it were physically possible to feel weak to the knees when looking at someone in the eye. She felt as if she could literally fall into those beautiful dark blue eyes and would never be able to escape or awaken from this sweet fantasy.
Fantasy? Nein, this is definitely real. Or at least... I hope it is...
Her questions were answered when Shinji pulled her lips to his. She should've resisted, slapped him and call him a pervert, but her heart was begging her not to do so. And for the first time in so long, Asuka let go of all her principles that had made her survive up to this point and let herself be consumed by Shinji's touch.
Looking at Shinji in the eye was a lot more difficult than it sounded for Asuka who over the years grew to an amazing 5ft 11, whilst Shinji had achieved a dramatic growth spurt at sixteen and stood proud to a staggering 6ft 3; his new height made her feel as though she were a midget.
Gott, he's grown a lot since I first met him and since when did he become so solid? Noticing the death-grip Shinji had on her while she herself had a grip on his biceps creating a physical distance between them. Dark hair, beautiful cobalt-blue eyes, great build. He could almost be Superman!
Asuka almost laughed out loud.
Life would be a lot simpler if Shinji truly were some sort of Superman. If so then he'd be able to break down her walls of Jericho without breaking a sweat and Asuka would free to love him. But sadly life wasn't something that's two-dimensional, limited with colours and easy to flip through all the bad parts; it was real and could prove to be quite painful, even a comic book can provide its viewer with a paper cut. In a bizarre manner, Shinji was a super hero in his own way and has always managed to save the day for everyone else, but he always failed at becoming closer with his Lois Lane.
Mein gott, now I'm referring myself as "his Lois Lane"! I'm not his and I'm not Lois Lane! I'm Asuka Langley Sorhyu, a unique individual. A woman who thinks for herself and depends on no one. The day I let the someone claim me as theirs, is the day that I'm officially pathetic. All I need is me and it'll stay that way.
She couldn't stand looking at Shinji anymore, letting go of his arms and slapped hard across his face. Ouch, that's going to leave a mark in the morning. Internally cringing at the red mark she left on his cheek, feeling slightly guilty for putting such a horrible bruise on such a handsome face.
Pathetic, he won't even fight back. Run Asuka, run! He's useless and he doesn't deserve to be in your presence. Not after everything he failed to do...
Then in that final moment, the two would share for the next five years, Asuka performed an art she had perfected in her fourteen years of experience. It was an act that made her somewhat of a hypocrite because while she had always criticised Shinji for it, she too was a master of it herself.
Asuka performed her perfectioned talent of running away.
If Shinji had had realised what Asuka's plans were for Germany, he would've caught up with her and confess how much he truly loved her. Sadly though, most people like Shinji couldn't see into the future and decipher the next five years would be like for him. Instead the former pilot of Unit 01 fumed with anger and made his own way home, only to return in the early hours of the morning.
Shinji awoke to the sound of Misato crying. Concerned for his surrogate mother, he got up and went to investigate only to find the older woman in huddled in the corner of Asuka's bed, curled in a ball while clutching onto a piece of paper.
"Misato?" he asked with genuine concern, walking over to bed. "What's wrong? And where's Asuka?"
"She's gone, Shinji. Asuka's gone. Back in Germany now," she answered wiping the tears off her cheeks, looking at the young man for the first time.
"What?" The young man could feel his heart beginning to break. How could this have happened? "That's impossible, she couldn't have left! I didn't hear her pack or anything last night."
Misato cringed with guilt, Shinji didn't like this. "Shinji... Asuka... Asuka packed up all her stuff a few weeks ago."
After she mentioned that, the blue-eyed man quickly noted that Misato was indeed right; Asuka's room was bare except for a few boxes. He was at a loss for words. "She's been planning this all along and you didn't tell me?" He could feel the tears of hurt and betrayal, prickle in the corner of his eyes. "How could you have not told me something as important as this?"
"I'm so sorry Shinji. I know it was terrible of me to betray your trust like that. Asuka applied for a German university several months ago and only received a letter of acceptance a few weeks before. I promised her that I wouldn't tell anyone because I knew it was something that she should tell, not me. All I asked her in return was that she wouldn't leave until everyone knew and gave her a genuine farewell. Guess it backfired on me, ha?" Misato tried to make it a joke but her smile faltered when she noticed that Shinji did not appreciate her sense of humor.
"I'm sorry Shinji." She knew apologies were useless; the damage was already done. Misato stood up and left the room to leave Shinji with his own grief, looking back at him with genuine sympathy before sliding the door closed.
She almost cried as she heard his howls of inner turmoil.
Asuka gave a sigh of content. At the present she was in a plane in the middle of nowhere but in a few hours she would finally be home in Germany and although she had no intention of seeing either her father or stepmother, Asuka did let them know that she was coming back. After all, she hadn't visited her mother's grave in four years.
"Excuse me, Miss but is there anything you would like to drink?" a stewardess asked, breaking the German's day dreaming.
"Nein danke. I'm fine," the woman smiled and was about to walk away when Asuka called her back. "Actually, do you happen to have by any chance Yebisu beer?"
The woman slightly frowned trying to remember what type of beer it was exactly before smiling again. "Yes, we do."
She searched the tray and pulled out both a yellow can that Asuka was so familiar with, and retrieved a small plastic cup. "Don't worry about the cup, I'll just drink it out of the can."
The stewardess complied. "Here you go, miss."
The woman thanked the red head back and continued her job.
Asuka didn't know why she asked for that particular brand of beer but she concluded it was because of Misato. Damn that woman, now I'm never going to get over this crap. Strangely the thought wasn't bitter, instead it made Asuka smile to know that a bit of Misato had been influenced on her.
I wonder if I was an influence to her. Or Shinji... She took a huge gulp of the foul liquid as Misato always did and found that it didn't taste as bad as she had always thought it did. This crap actually tastes pretty good! Though she would never admit that to her former guardian.
I wonder how she's taking it. I hope she'll be okay. Shinji too, the young woman inwardy cringed when she thought of her flatmate's welfare but she reminded herself that she was too far away now.That she was safe now. Asuka would be in Germany soon and she'll never have to face him again.
I'll miss Hikari though, she mentally sighed.
After what happened last night, Asuka went back to the apartment and was grateful to see that Shinji was not back yet. Quickly, the red head collected all the necessities she needed and wrote a note telling Misato that she was gone now and that she was sorry that she didn't keep her promise. She took one more look around her room and couldn't help but feel a little depressed.
Asuka had spent the past four years living here and so much had happened during that time, but now there were all packed in big white boxes, all addressed to her university campus. She had received a room number at where she would be staying at the university so she knew that she were to hurry to Germany soon if she wanted to make sure that she had not lost any valuable possessions.
The rest had already been shipped off to Germany during the school hours with Misato keeping an eye on the removalists, making it practically impossible for Shinji to find out until today when he realised that Asuka would be gone. A part of Asuka felt guilty that she didn't tell him, nor tell Misato face-to-face that she appreciated her help but after what happened last night, she never wanted to look at him again.
Asuka had not forgotten about Pen Pen and had given the warm-water penguin quick good-bye hug and a kiss on the head before leaving her expired NERV identification card on her bed side table and her apartment keys on the kitchen bench. Looking around the apartment for the final time, Asuka felt her eyes become a bit teary.
For fuck's sake Asuka, get over it. It's just an apartment, there will be plenty more you'll live in! Her inner voice had been right.
Regaining her composure and with no thought or anything else weighing her down, Asuka left.
At the fear of being caught by either Shinji or Misato, Asuka caught the bus to Hikari's. She felt guilty for disrupting her best friend at this hour, but she really needed to tell Hikari that she was leaving tomorrow, plus a place to stay for the night. She knocked on the door and as she had hoped, Hikari answered.
The brunette was surprised at first to see her friend at this hour, also slightly irriated, however, after Asuka explained the whole situation, Hikari felt slightly disappointed. She had already known that Asuka was planning to move back to Germany a few weeks back, but she had been hoping to spend a bit more time with her best friend before she left.
Hikari handed Asuka the household phone and she made a booking at the Tokyo-3 airport six o'clock in the morning. With that confirmed, the two teenagers had spent the rest of the night talking; reminiscing about old memories and discussing Hikari's relationship with Touji.
"It's going along real well. We're thinking about taking it to the next step," Hikari had said.
"His suggestion or yours?"
Asuka had always considered Touji to be too perverted for her liking and was extremely weary about him dating Hikari, a person whom was quite close to her, yet at the same time, knew that the jock would never do anything intentional to harm her friend. Unless he wanted to decrease his chances of becoming a natural father, that is.
"It was my suggestion but he seems a bit scared of the idea."
"One of the perverted stooge scared to have sex?" she looked at her friend with disbelief. "Now I've heard everything."
"I would've thought Shinji wouldn't be like that but after what you told me, I have heard everything!"
The two girls had then laughed and in the early hours of the morning, Hikari drove her friend to the airport. Both were incredibly teary, yet neither were willing to cry in front of the other. They then had hugged and each made a solemn promise to always keep in contact with the other.
"We are now coming into landing. Please fasten seat-belts and remain seated until you're advised not to do so," the speaker announced, once again forcing Asuka to drift out of her day dreaming.
Looks like this is it.
Excitement coursed through her self and adrenaline began pumping into her blood as she watched the plane land onto her home soil. After ten minutes Asuka was able to be get up from her seat and stretch her tired muscles. She noticed that she was still holding the empty beer can, yet she couldn't bring herself to through it away and instead placed it inside her black messenger bag.
Getting a bit sentimental, aren't we?
Normally Asuka would've agreed with the voice, but today she found it to be quite irritating and decided ignored it. After all, today was a beautiful day, she was back to where she truly belonged and ready to begin a new life. She smiled as she exited the plane, the warm air of springtime in Berlin greeting her, taking her back down memory lane and she said the words she yearned to say for so many years now.
"Ich bin zu hause."