Hi everyone, thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Here's a second little piece I wrote while procrastinating (stupid soul-crushing Honours thesis) featuring our beloved (sort of) Norrie! I'm sorry I'm so mean to you Norrie (tee hee hee) BTW I don't own Gladiator either.
Hello James Norrington here. As you all know, Capt. Turner asked me to give you all some sword training as your skills are lacking a bit (little twat's too busy being Captain to do it himself). Gentlemen, the first training session last week was an unmitigated disaster which prompts me to outline the following rules for our training sessions.
1. These sessions are for sword training, not formation dancing.
2. Please don't juggle with the swords (especially if you don't know how to juggle)
3. Stop cutting 'Z's into each others clothing and the walls
4. No trick swords. I do not want to see any man running about with a sword through his torso screaming "look I'm a kebab!" ever again.
5. Who took my hat?
6. Please don't distract your training opponent by yelling "look out! It's a rabid fangirl!" (It's really hard to get Capt. Turner down from the Crows Nest once he hears that)
7. The next time Capt. Turner joins us for a training session please don't swap his sword for a bow and arrow
8. Seriously, give me my hat back whoever took it.
9. You cannot call your sword a lightsaber (and stop making that buzzing noise when you swing it around)
10. Despite what Capt. Turner says you CAN call me 'Dick Darlington'
11. You cannot pretend to be Roman Gladiators during training sessions (I don't care what you say NO ONE on this ship is called 'Maximus Decimus Meridius' even if you are father to a murdered son or husband to a murdered wife)
12. If any of you say to me "at least I didn't get killed by a fish-man with a stick" you'll spent the next hour looking for your missing teeth.
13. The above threat also applies to anyone I catch carving hearts and 'Norrie wuvs Elizabeth' into the walls (it's very difficult to explain them to Capt. Turner)
14. Look if Capt. Turner's not going to introduce you to Jack Sparrow I certainly won't either
15. If you want to be excused from training classes have a legitimate reason. I will not accept the following:
15.1 I'm allergic to swords
15.2 I'm Capt. Turner's Daddy (doesn't get you out of everything Bootstrap)
15.3 Norrington's a git
15.4 Norrington's a twat
15.5 Norrington found out I had his hat.