Title: Black & White (UNwilling Protector, Caged MONster)
Summary: Drabbles based on a word from each letter from the alphabet, mainly revolving around Ichigo's inner Hollow, his thoughts about his King, Zangetsu and several other things. Rated for things generally not thought suitable for younger readers. Slightly one-sided Ogichi/Hichigo X Ichigo.
Words: 1, 807
Rating: T for references to sex, some words and other things generally not thought suitable for younger readers.
+ Black & White +
:: UNwilling Protector, Caged MONster ::
He had first awakened in a world of slanted skyscrapers, the blue sky partially engulfed with remnants of fading storm clouds.
The first few days (or weeks, he could never tell) of his existence was pretty boring, for starters. Zangetsu-san had all but disappeared in a flash, leaving him all alone in the place where he passed time by looking at the skies.
Freedom was something he was always craving for. To him, it was like a drug that a battered human would go on his knees for. It was akin to a human crying for release. Always at his fingertips, but still never quite there. So he treasured every moment that he had his freedom, even it was just a few mere seconds. And he would curse his King for granting his such a measly existence.
Just like the King and his Horse, he could somewhat compare it to a master and his dog as well. Dogs were once proud wolves that ran free in the wild, only to be tamed by human hands and slowly, evolution had made them submit to their intelligent masters. Yes, he could say his situation was like that as well – he was the dog that had been forced into submission. But then again, the dog would immediately turn its back once he saw his master was weaker than him. Such was its nature – as well as his.
No matter how much he and his King hated it, they were going to be within each other for all eternity… or at least until his King died or finally gave it. He guessed it would rather be the former than the latter. So he would lie and wait… until that day finally came.
It always marveled him, how his King would forget him all-too easily once things had settled down. Always he would only be remembered whenever he went to probe his King (usually on the verge of death), who then would try and force him down, but it never worked. He would then get his momentary freedom, shred the things in front of him into bits and then get forced down again, and forgotten until the next life-threatening battle. In all honesty, he was annoyed greatly at how recklessly his King would throw his life, but then he would not be his King if it were not for that.
If one thing he could easily figure out, it was that he King never seemed to grow up, never seemed to learn from his mistakes so quickly. Like during that fight with that nameless Zanpaktou – he had to personally come out from Zangetsu-san and give his King a nearly life threatening (or about to die) kind of lessons before he finally understood his mistake. Or when he fought in order to subdue him within the inner world. Either way, it always took too damned much for his King to realize his mistakes. And that pissed him off.
Zangetsu told him that all Hollows were supposed to have holes in their hearts. However, whenever he looked at himself, he could never find such a thing. He knew he was a Hollow – and was damned proud of it – but he could never find such a feature that signified him as one. It confused him, but as the time passed, he did not bother to make a fuss over it. Maybe his King had filled up the hole.
His King's name was Ichigo. Or otherwise as Ichigo Kurosaki. Zangetsu-san had told him once, his King's name meant many things: 'Fifteen' (to which he quirked an eyebrow then), 'Strawberry' (he promptly burst into fits of laughter upon hearing of it), as well as 'Guardian', of which his name was based upon. He who protects. Ichigo Kurosaki. But then he would ask himself – just really who was his King protecting?
He guessed he could call himself by such. The Joker of the deck. A double-edged sword. That's what some humans would say him as. He fought like a 'manic', a berserker-styled way of solving his problems. His power was great, almost godly, but it was because of this power that his King did not want him. To his King, it was guiltily addicting, even more so as time passed by. The King fought with his head, but he fought with his instinct. A Joker, indeed.
Karin, from what he knew, was the name of one of his King's sisters. She was a tomboy, and he was greatly amused at the amount of tears she would hold back at times. He knew it had something to do with her – and his King's – mother's death a couple of years back. He decided, if he ever got a chance to stick himself to someone else, he would have chosen her. At least she had more spirit than his King.
Love was something that was pretty much foreign to him. He was a Hollow, for crying out loud – love was useless for a being like him. Yet, whenever he saw a graceful, lithe form of his king dozing, or splattered with blood from his – their – enemies; he would feel a twinge in his unfeeling heart.
They were mirror images of each other; he would always come to terms with. His King was kind, compassionate, all those annoying traits that he never had. He himself was the pure opposite – insane, unfeeling, uncaring. His King fought with his head – he fought with his instincts. They were like broken halves of a mirror, or a reflection of each other. Together, then they would be whole and complete.
If there were one word he could describe his king, it would be naïve. His King always believed that everything would turn out fine, but the truth still would shock him. He knew, nothing in this world would be fine, but yet his King still believed in his own truth. Naïve fool.
He heard that name a couple of times. His King muttered something about it being his own name, since it made sense – they were reflections of each other, so why not have a name that represented that fact? He could not care less, but he graciously accepted the name, since it was his King that thought it up after all.
Sure, he hated his king, but he admired the perseverance that his King would always have within. His King had never, ever given up, instead pushing to the point where he had to emerge and level everything. He hated his King for being so weak and useless, but his strive to persevere was something he had always admired and was amazed at.
Always, his freedom was quickly taken away just a quickly he had grabbed it. He came when his king was about to die, and then shoved away quickly when his King had his swift recovery within. It was so quick, that he would ready and anticipate himself to grab for the next chance he got. And that usually came pretty quick as well.
He was pretty pissed at his King whenever he used that word. Reason. Always, always, always, his King used that word. "I don't have a reason to fight you." He heard it so many times, that he decided when the next time he surface, he made sure to taunt his King about this annoying fact. His king doesn't need a reason to have a reason – fighting was supposed to be a part of him, but his threw it away.
If his king were the light, then he would be the shadow. Without shadow, there was no light; without light, there would be no shadow. They were both integral of a whole, just as he was the lost half his King never had. Together, they were one.
Oh, he loved tormenting his King for his weaknesses. It was always fun watching his King squirm as he spoke in his head, mocking his inability to fight properly and edging him to succumb to the darkness that was him. It was always fun to see how long his King would last under the baritone of his countless insults and mocking. However, he had to torment his King, for only then would he grow up a little more.
His King was weak. And when his King would realize that fact, he would demand for him to give his power to his King. However, he was a tough banker – and he had a tough customer. He would gladly give his King all the power he wanted, but he would charge high interest for it – one of his sanity, which he was sure his King would finally lose it one day… and then he would be in control.
Being proud was one thing, and arrogant another. But his king was way off the charts – he was too proud, too arrogant. He was, relatively speaking, vainglorious. Just because his King could control his powers only for eleven seconds didn't make him a god. He grunted in annoyance as he saw the storm clouds coming once again in his King's inner world, the half-helmeted, dark-haired Arrancar walking away outside. Grabbing his sword, he forced himself out again. His King was going to pay for this later on.
He was never was whimsical person – his King wasn't one, either. But whenever he saw the daily actions and battles his King fought, he could not help but let a whimsical smile cross his pale face. His King, after all, was whimsical to him.
The situation his king was in was like Xenon. His King was rare, almost unique. Not many Shinigami were in the same situation as he and his king was – not even those Vaizards. Just as Xenon was a rare gas by nature, his King was rare too – and he was proud to have him as his King at that.
His King was Yang, and he was Yin. His King was the philosophy of light, the positive side and being active. He, on the other hand, was the philosophy of darkness, the inactiveness, dark and negative in every aspect. But together, again, they could influence each other. They had to be whole, to be one, in order to be effective.
Zangetsu was something both he and his King shared. They both harnessed the power of the same Zanpaktou, but they used it in different methods. Someday, he decided, he would seriously take the time to teach his king how to use Zangetsu-san in the proper manner, not the bullshitting way that his king was using now.
Well, I wrote this as an effort to get myself out of writer's block, which somehow worked... to an extent. Basically, the above were just some random drabbles mainly revolving 'round Ichigo's inner Hollow (who I perfer to the main guy himself, coz' he reminds me of Alucard. And anything that reminds me of Alu-san is good). So anyway, hope you enjoyed this random drabble - critics, reviews, flames and such are all accepcted. Thank you for taking the time to read this.