AN: Well, this twisted bit of daydreaming isn't doing half-bad. Thanks to Donkey and Skunk for reviewing. For everyone out there who is lurking, please leave reviews!

(As MINA and SAWYER clear off the stage, NEMO comes marching across the stage, followed by a pack of KNIGHTS- played by his crewmen. Little does Mariah know, but he has been fiddling with the script. He never wanted to be in a musical anyway.)

N (Chanting like a drill sergeant):

I don't know but it's been said!


I don't know but it's been said!


We're off to war-

We're not yet dead.


We're off to war-

We're not yet dead.


Become a knight and you'll go far!


Become a knight and you'll go far!


In suspenders and a bra!

(The KNIGHTS fall out of their neat marching lines in confusion)


In suspenders and a bra?!

(In the audience, Mariah groans)

(The curtain falls. Sounds of moving scenery can be heard in the audience. There is a loud crash and yelps of pain and surprise- someone has dropped something on someone's foot."

(The curtain rises, revealing a campsite with a glowing 'campfire'. DARIA enters stage right.)

And so, King Arthur gathered his Knights together,
bringing from all the corners of the Kingdom the strongest and bravest in
the land to sit at the Round Table.

(The KNIGHTS- QUATERMAIN, GRAY, NEMO, and JEKYLL, all in their shiny armor, march out onstage from behind her. DARIA indicates each knight in turn)

(She points to QAUTERMAIN)
The strangely flatulent Sir Bedevere,

(Quatermain raises an eyebrow at the description as GRAY steps forward. Daria rolls her eyes at the aristocrat)
The dashingly handsome Sir Galahad,

(NEMO takes a step forward)

The homicidally brave Sir Lancelot,

(Daria grins as JEKYLL comes up to be announced)
Sir Robin, the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot,
who slew the vicious Chicken of Bristol and who
personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill.

(Jekyll pales as the description goes on.)
And the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-show.

(Daria and the KNIGHTS all glare at Skinner, who has snuck over to the end of the line)

(He walks off-stage looking dejected)

Together they formed a band whose names
and deeds were to be retold throughout the Centuries...
The Knights of the Round Table.

(she bows out)

KNIGHTS (in a chanty, campfire-song kind of way. They link arms and begin to do a grapevine line.):
All for one,
One for all,
All for one,
And one for all.
(the line breaks up for the solos)
Some for some,

None for none,

HJ (glancing sidelong at Gray:
Slightly less for people we don't like,

N (sounding smug):
And a little bit more for me!

ALL (each knight pairs up with another and does a little do-si-do sort of thing for weach line of song):
All round this Blightly land,
We are his mighty band,

(the pairs break up)
King Arthur's strongest knights,
We are prepared to fight
All for one,
Two for all,
Four for some,

(They all draw their swords)
And free for all!

(the neat line of knights breaks into a random melee as the curtain falls again)

(Mariah's audience breaks into applause. Mariah herself looks relieved that nothing has gone wrong- yet.