This is my first fic so be nice reviewing! and hang with me... it's going to get better. This is background, mostly. Lily lay spread-eagle across her four-poster. Her life seemed like a fantasy dream gone completely wrong. Why did these things always happen to her? She sat up, a sudden rush to her head. The world seemed hazy around her. She searched the room frantically, feeling eyes on her, but found her mother's picture on the bedside table. The woman in the photograph smiled up at her warmly and was waving slowly. The picture had been taken before Lily's second year at Beaubattons Academy- at the train station.

Things had changed so much since then. Her father had walked out on the family, Petunia refused to speak to Lily, and her mother, her mother had been diagnosed with bone cancer. The letter that she had received earlier that morning said that the doctors reported that there was nothing that could be done- it was Stage 4 cancer. Her mother was in hospice, and expected to die within a month. What was she going to do without her mother? Ever since she had been forced to transfer to Hogwarts, she was alone. Her mother was her only friend.

Of course she had other friends at her old school, but when Lily had arrived at Hogwarts, she refused to make friends. Her father had just walked out on her, and she was damn sure not to let anyone that close to her heart again.

Drew, her father, had cut off the family personally and financially. Her mother was suddenly broke and could not afford to send Lily back to Beaubattons for the remaining two years before she graduated. With no one else to turn to, Lily owled the headmaster of Hogwarts, Dumbledore, and asked for help. Kind man that he was, he granted Lily a full scholarship to Hogwarts. Next thing she knew, she was on a foreign train to a foreign school.

Lily had made the mistake of seeking out her father the previous summer. She had no idea the horror that she faced. Her father, who had always been obsessed with magic, had gotten a blood transfusion of magic blood right after he moved out. He was now studying the dark arts and a close personal friend of Lord Voldemort. Her father was a smart and charismatic man, but she still didn't know why the muggle-hating regime had allowed the muggle into their circle.

That summer had been the worst in her life. She still had bruises and cuts from the beatings he gave her, trying to impress his new found extremist wizard friends who despised muggles. They too, loved torturing her. It seemed as if it would never

end. They wouldn't let her leave the apartment, and Lily became paranoid and guarded.

She stood up. The daylight was flooding through the open window and glinting on the glass frames that stood proudly on her dresser. She opened the second drawer and spilled the contents over her bed. Pictures from her old life, her happy life, forced happy memories into Lily's mind. She couldn't help smiling as she cried when she saw the picture of the her and her closest friends at the enchanting Christmas Dance at Beaubattons- or when she saw her mother… who's hand's were closely interlocked with her father's.

A shot of anger and revulsion shot from her stomach as she gazed upon her father's innocent and loving face. There were steps on the staircase- growing louder. Lily stashed all of the pictures back in the drawer and pulled back the curtains of her four poster right as her roommates, the ever so ditsy Miranda, Sylvia and Sidney stepped into the dormitory.

"Good thing Evans wasn't at lunch, Potter and Black were planning on turning her hair green again"

"I still can't get over why she was put in Gryffindor- I mean, she has all of the traits of a Slytherin."

"I know, c'mon- her hair might be red but her eyes show her true colors."

Potter and Black. Two of the most handsome, arrogant, and stealthy pranksters Lily had ever had the misfortune to meet. Of course her female acquaintances swooned over their every move, but Lily could see strait through them. They were shallow, immature, and tried to cover their own insecurities by humiliating others. Lily's thoughts steered back to her mother as silent tears rolled down her face.

The next day, Tuesday, was Lily's least favorite day of the week. History of Magic, Transfiguration, and then double potions. Lily excelled at all of the subjects of course, but in turn had all of them with Potter and Black. Last History of Magic class, they had thrown charmed gummy bears that stuck to her flesh. The gummies stuck to her skin for 24 hours- making her a feast in the eyes on the mosquitoes outside during her Care of Magical Creatures lesson.

Breakfast was the same as usual- she sat by herself at the end of the table as she read the Daily Prophet. Potter and Black, much to Lily's delight and relief, skipped History of Magic. In transfiguration, however, Black, much to the classes delight, tried to use the badger-into-brick spell on Lily while McGonagol's head was turned. By the time she left, she felt twice as dense as she had entered.

Lily smiled as she entered the Potions dungeon fifteen minutes later. She was safe her- Professor Slughorn loved her and would scream if anyone tried to pull anything.

"Today, we shall brew a special potion that cures Homesickness. It is called Hemerophoria. Can anyone tell me--"

"Hemerophoria is a potion first brewed by the Ancient Greeks to cure homesickness while away at war. It is said that Achilles himself drank this potion frequently in Troy."

"Very good, Ms. Evans. Ten points to Gryffindor. And can anyone tell me what—"

"It smells the home of the maker, sir, and even resembles any memorable tastes. However, instead of reviving memories, it simply vanquishes them," finished Lily.

Slughorn clapped his hands together incredulously "You never cease to amaze me, another ten points then? Ms. Evans, of course, is correct. If you will kindly open your book to page 294 we will get started."

In the corner of the room, James was scowling. It was him that Slughorn had loved before Evans had come along in 6th year. "Show off," he whispered to Sirius. Sirius, who was busy reading a brooms magazine behind his cauldron.

Ten minutes later, Lily's potion was nearly done. She closed her eyes as the scent of lemongrass, bagels, and her mother's Chanel perfume met her nose. In a month, there would be no more homemade bagels. There would be no Chanel perfume. No, she thought. I will not cry here.

It's funny how your mind and your body disagree.

"What's wrong with her?" James asked Sirius.

"Dunno." Sirius replied off-handedly.