-Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi
Warning: This fiction is a HUGE departure from my usual works. It is very graphic and dark, containing unpleasant sexual situations and drug use. Kagome will be very out of character, because that is what drug addiction does to a person, it changes them into something horrible and ugly.
Kagome stood by the well her eyes bathed in a wash of tears. No matter how she pleaded and begged, he wouldn't listen to her.
"What about what I want InuYasha? Doesn't that matter to you at all?"
"It matters more than you know Kagome, kami, this is killing me too. Please understand…please…I saw what happened to my mother. Watched them break her heart and her spirit a piece at a time. Do you think I could stand to watch them destroy you too? Do you honestly think I will let them destroy you the way they destroyed her? Knowing it is because of me?"
"Then come with me…"she pleaded, her eyes tore at every part of him.
"And what? Force you to hide with me? Live being dependent on your family? If there was anyway Kagome…"
"There is! We can be together! I don't care about any of that…you're the only one who cares about that. Please listen to me InuYasha…"
He pulled her tightly into his arms, crushing her against him.
"You deserve someone as amazing as you are Kagome. A normal life, normal friends. You should be going to school and taking those tests, going to those moving picture things like we went to that one time with boys like that Hojo guy."
InuYasha's throat filled with bile at the thought of the little bastard touching Kagome and he winced and forced it down.
"I want you to have everything you deserve Kagome."
Kagome cried against his chest.
"I deserve you InuYasha. I love you."
He felt his heart shatter like the Shikon no Tama once had at her words.
"I love you too Kagome" He sank his fang into his bottom lip and squeezed his eyes shut trying to force the tears back. Once he found control he pulled away from her and kissed her softly on the lips, then dropped his hands from her shoulders.
"You don't deserve me Kagome, no one deserves me. Now go home and don't come back. I never want to see you again."
"You liar! You said you loved me! You said it! It was a lie though wasn't it? You don't love me!"
Kagome tried to reach for him again but he stepped back, his heart breaking. He turned around and walked away, Kagome called out for him, unable to sit him because she had removed the kotodama the night before.
"InuYasha! It's because I'm not Kikyo isn't it?"
InuYasha found a safe spot to sit and watch her, then watched as she sank down on the side of the well and wiped at her eyes.
After several minutes she picked up her back pack and turned to jump into the well.
"This isn't over InuYasha. Not by a long shot!"
The well filled with light and she was gone.
InuYasha picked up the wood planks and nails he had prepared then returned to the well and sealed the top, then placed the seal that Kaede had reluctantly prepared.
"Yeah Kagome… it is." He muttered to himself. "It is fucking over."
He swiped away the tears on his cheeks and took a deep breath of the her lingering scent, then sank down to sit on the ground against the well, giving in to the tears that choked him.
He screamed out her name, the mournful wail any yokai would recognize as a yokai that had lost his soul mate.
The portal was sealed, Kagome would not be able to return unless InuYasha himself removed the seal.
He vowed to himself that he would not.
No matter what.
Bright sunlight penetrated the broken shade over the window of the condemned office building, Kagome raised a shaking hand to cover her eyes. She rolled over on the dirty mattress, cursing the slow passage of time and the way her body shook even though she was sweating her ass off.
She hated being a weak puny human sometimes. She really fucking did.
She heard feet shuffling through the dust and garbage on the floor.
"That you Kaori?" She called out, thinking that it better fucking be or some son of a bitch was gonna get three and a half inches of razor sharp steel in their gut. She was far from being in the mood to fuck around, and she had no qualms about backing up her words.
If the fucking bastard who use to protect her had taught her anything it was to think of herself first.
"Yeah, its me Kag's"
"Damn bitch" the man laughed at her "You look like shit"
She forced herself to sit up, wrapping her arms around her tiny frame. She was fucking cold, despite the sweat running down her back.
The man laughed "So Kaori said you wanted to deal huh Miko-sama?" the name was a taunt, dating back to the days when she still had some pride, when she thought she was above making the "deal"
"Guess I can work it. Bare it."
Kagome kicked her shoes off then unzipped her skirt.
"You know the rule." She pulled her panties off and lay down, yanking off the dirty pink tank top while she pushed herself up onto her knees.
"Shit, no matter to me, holes a hole." the man dropped his pants to his knees and knelt down on the dirty mattress. "What you standing there for wareme chan? Get your ass down here."
Kaori took off her own clothes and lay down next to Kagome. She reached for Kagome's breasts and began to fondle the nipples.
"Yeah" He nodded "Keep the fuckers nice and hard like that. Lick on em." The girl repositioned herself to lick and suck on Kagome's breasts. He lined himself up with her anal entrance and slammed himself into her.
Kagome screamed, but it was fake, just another part of the deal. She had quit feeling pain weeks ago, after the first couple times had been so unbearable she'd had no choice but to shut herself off. Making the deal became a necessary part of living after the money from her savings account had run out and her mother cut off access to her college fund. When she had given up the last bit of herself and sold her body to the black dragon.
The Black Dragon was her savior.
It was the closest she had come to filling the huge gaping void in her soul that had once belonged to ….HIM.
The one that she had stood behind faithfully for two years, had been willing to die for. The one she loved. He had betrayed her.
Told her he loved her, kissed her, sent her home and then somehow sealed her only way to him. He never came back for her. Still she might have come back from that, gone on somehow if she hadn't done what she had after she came home…if she hadn't…
"Hey yariman, you gonna move your ass? I ain't dealin' no dead fuck." he slammed into her savagely and Kagome forced herself to move her hips. Slowly, methodically. A robot in motion. She felt nothing. Not his candy nail digging into her hip, nor the hot blood running down the side of her leg in it's wake. She didn't feel him thrusting in and out of her, not her friends fingers up inside her other opening or her lips and tongue on her breasts.
This was as familiar to her by now as firing her bow and arrow, or riding on his back had been in the Sengoku Jidai. It was all a just a part of the deal. Her new quest. You did what you had to in a quest, whether the quest was for the Shikon no Tama or for the Black Dragon.
Kagome wanted the Black Dragon more than she had ever wanted anything, maybe even more than she had wanted him. The black dragon was more important than anything, including the Shikon no Tama. Hell, she wasn't even sure where THAT fucking thing was anymore. She had thrown it at gramps the night she left the shrine, the night she ran away two months ago.
The man screeched out behind her and pushed hard against her. After a minute he pulled out and stripped off the condom, swinging it in around a couple times before letting it fly against the wall.
"Wall decoration for ya bitches" He winked
He slapped Kagome's ass. "Your getting a little loose Miko-sama, gonna have to cut back or start given up the other hole. Can't keep it pure forever."
"Give it" She yanked her skirt and panties back on, then slipped her shirt on. Even less in the mood for playing around than she had been before. She held out her hand as the tremors shook her horribly.
"Whatever bitch" he tossed a baggy in her lap, then grabbed the back of her head by her hair, grinding her face into his crotch.
"There's a tip for ya." he sauntered away.
"See ya when your ready to deal again waremechans"
Kaori rolled her eyes.
"Fuckin dick. Damn Kag's," She looked at Kagome trying to slip the belt around her arm while prepping the hit, all while her hands were shaking furiously.
"Let me," She sat down in front of Kagome and took the stuff from her.
"You okay? I mean, did he …hurt you or anything?"
"Hurry up." Kagome bit out between clenched teeth.
"I don't know how you stand that."
Kagome waved her hand irritably
"He was being really rough with you" Kaori sniffed
"Just fucking hurry your ass."
" Fine damn, here." She shot Kagome her fix watching as she relaxed, then took the belt to fix herself.
"You know that's why they always let you deal right? You let them hurt you…"
Kagome felt the warmth spread over her and she let her head slam back against the wall.
"Keh, they don't hurt me. No one can hurt me."
Kaori recognized "the look" come into Kagome's eyes. The far off one where her friend was so numb she looked like she might be dead. Maybe she was, if being emotionless counted as death.
Kaori had never seen Kagome cry, not once in the two months since they had met. Kaori knew Kagome's little brother had died not long before she hit the streets, but that was another thing Kagome refused to talk about. Like HIM.
Kagome had started telling her one time about a man she had loved. She said his hair looked silver white, like the moon, and his eyes were the brightest amber, like the sun. But that was the last thing she had said that made sense. Kagome had gone off into weird talk about yokai and hanyou and some legend about an undead woman. She'd been pretty strung out at the time.
Since then she had refused to speak about him. The last time Kaori had brought him up Kagome pulled a knife and told her if she brought him up again she would gut her.
It was accepted now the subject was strictly off limits.
Kaori looked at Kagome and rolled up on the mattress next to her and put her arm around her, resting her head on her shoulder. Kagome was chuckling and mumbling to herself.
Kagome laughed bitterly "They can't hurt me. You have to feel to hurt."
Kagome had found the Black Dragon.
"I feel nothing."
InuYasha stared at the seal he had placed on the well six moons before.
'Kami, I knew I would miss her, but who knew it would still hurt this much?'
Sending Kagome away had been the most gut wrenching decision in his life. He could still remember moments after placing the seal, how his hands had longed to tear it away, to go after her and love her. He had sunk down beside the well, unable to leave it, his cheek resting on the ancient wood while his heart cried out for her.
His hand had reached up and been just about to the seal when he heard again the voices that had cursed his mother. Saw the villagers who would throw rocks at them when they went into the village. He realized then that as much as it hurt, as much as his heart ached for her, his hands longed to touch her, he had done the right thing.
The right thing for Kagome turned out to be the wrong thing for everybody else.
The others had been heartbroken and angry with him when they returned to the village and found out what he had done. That he hadn't let them have any choice in the matter was bad enough but they hadn't even been given the chance to say goodbye to her. They had all remained in the village at first, until Sango and Miroku started fighting regularly.
Kagome had always been the one to help them work through their problems. She had a way about her, a knack for making Sango see when she was being irrational and made Miroku see when he was hurting Sango with his lecherous behaviour towards her when others were around.
After Miroku's attention began to stray to other women in the village, they woke one morning to find that Sango had taken Kirara and gone away, back to the slayers village that had slowly begun to rebuild in her absence. Miroku left shortly after, returning to Master Mushin at the temple.
All was peaceful for a couple weeks until he had come from the forest to find Shippo desperately trying to remove the seal on the well to get to Kagome. When he couldn't, he demanded InuYasha do it and when InuYasha refused, pleading with Shippo to understand, Shippo had run away in the night. InuYasha had searched for him, finding him en-route to the slayers village.
When InuYasha took him the rest of the way Sango had been happy to keep Shippo. While she had welcomed him, InuYasha had become someone Sango treated like a stranger instead of someone that she had fought along side for two years, someone who had been family.
InuYasha was irritated, enough so that he stopped to see Miroku on the way back, only to find that Miroku felt the same way. Miroku in fact had actually told him that he was reforming himself, turning from his perversions and strengthening his vows as a houshi and thus was no longer comfortable allowing the presence of a hanyou at the temple. Miroku had actually turned InuYasha away.
Looking back, InuYasha couldn't blame him, the pained look in Miroku's eyes told the same story as Sango's. They blamed him for their broken engagement, for sending away the one person who might have helped them salvage it.
InuYasha didn't return to the village after that. He felt like hell, much like he had in the first days after waking from the tree when he first faced what he believed to be Kikyo's 'betrayal'. Only now he didn't have an angel from the future to ease his pain. He had sent her away and brought this hell on himself and everyone he cared about.
He missed Kagome so much he couldn't stand it, sometimes his whole body ached with the desire to hold her in his arms. But still, none of that mattered. Let the others hate him, it was okay if he was so alone he ached with the loneliness. The only thing that was important was that Kagome was somewhere where she was safe and happy
She was home with her family and friends, taking her tests. Probably dating that Hojo bastard by now. As long as Kagome was happy, it didn't matter that he was miserable and alone. And as bad as he felt about the pain of the ones he had thought of as family, even that didn't matter , as long as Kagome was happy and safe.
Then he started having the nightmares.
They were always the same. Kagome was all alone with no one to protect her, small, vulnerable and afraid being chased through heavy blackness and fog by a ferocious black dragon.
In the first nightmares weeks ago, she tried to run from the dragon, but it always over came her and she lay, crying as the dragon stood over her, opened its huge jaws and devoured her.
Over time as the dream progressed, Kagome gave up. She ran less, slower and slower. Now in his dream as the dragon approached her she opened her arms and welcomed the dragon, laying down, rolling on her stomach… allowing it to brutally fuck her and feast on her flesh in exchange for sparing her life, all the while she sobbed horribly.
He hadn't thought it could get much worse than that, but he was wrong.
As bad and horrible as that image was, what haunted InuYasha now was that in his nightmare, Kagome had stopped crying.
Unable to stand it anymore he had come back to the village and told Kaede about his dream and she had Feh'd at him...
"Why do ye question the obvious InuYasha?"
"Whats suppose to be so obvious hag?"
"The obvious baka Inu is that either you so desperately need to be with Kagome your mind is giving your heart a reason to fear for her safety or…"
"Quiet InuYasha. ...or Kagome is in such desperate need of you that she is sending you messages the only way that she is able."
"This I can not answer, Kagome could be I'll, or in such deep sadness because she misses her friends here, perhaps she wishes to take her life, or she could be in some kind of danger…does she still not carry the Shikon no Tama?"
"I promised to protect her…then I left her alone. But…I thought her time was safe. Kaede, you sure these ain't just weird dreams cause I miss her?"
"Aye, it could be so." She nodded "However, since you have told me of them I have had a chill on my skin, yet sweat runs down my back and my flesh is raised in spots. I do not think it would be wise to discount this InuYasha. At the very least, ye should check on Kagome."
InuYasha looked torn and Kaede placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, then touched his cheek.
"InuYasha, I understand why ye did what ye did and that it took a great deal of love for ye to give Kagome up. It was a brave and admirable thing ye did. But, perhaps looking back, it is best for all to admit now that it was not the right thing."
InuYasha looked up at Kaede and nodded, then left to go to the well.
InuYasha reached down and tore the seal from the well and began to tear off the boards that covered it. Once the top was cleared, he nodded at Kaede, and plunged in.
InuYasha was sheathed in blue light.
Mrs. Higurashi sat cross-legged on the floor of the unused bedroom, she cried, her face hidden in the chest of a big pink teddy bear.
The bedroom was her only daughters, the daughter she hadn't seen in two months. Not since the night they had cornered her in this very room and tried to force her into drug rehab.
"Kagome, you may not be able to see it, but your in serious trouble. This... stuff your doing has changed you…it is killing you." Gramps stood near the door.
"Kagome, we understand you have been hurting for months, I know you miss InuYasha..."
"screw that necro."
" ...but he did what he thought best for you. We are all hurting, But what happened to Sota, it wasn't your fault…the only one who blames you is you."
"Kami, mother, your so fucking stupid."
"Kagome, don't you talk to your mama like that!" Gramps stood in the doorway and Kagome whirled on him.
"Who asked you?" She tried to shove Gramps out of the way and when he wouldn't move she had grown even more angry.
"Get out of my fucking way!"
"You were not raised to speak to your elders like that! What would InuYasha think if he…"
"FUCK that half-breed necro bastard" she tore the darkening Shikon no Tama off her neck and threw it at Gramps. She pulled a blade from her pocket and held it on him.
"Now get the fuck out of my way."
He had no choice but to let her pass. No one had seen her since.
The next morning Kagome drained almost five hundred dollars from her savings account and another three hundred from her college fund before her mother had been able to block her access.
Mrs. Higurashi heard someone on the roof next to the window, she found herself praying it was Kagome, and praying it wasn't. Then the window opened and a red sleeve pushed through the curtains, then another and InuYasha pushed through the window.
Mrs. Higurashi gasped and jumped to her feet.
"InuYasha! InuYasha…. thank kami! Oh thank Kami you've come."
InuYasha was surprised to see her standing in Kagome's room, but his mind instantly registered the staleness of Kagome's scent, also that the scent that remained was laced with traces of some kind of poison.
He looked at Mrs. Higurashi his eyes grew wide with surprise. She had dark circles under her eyes and heavy wrinkles, and she looked so tired. Her once jet black hair was now laced with heavy strands of white.
Worst of all was, her eyes, mirror images of Kagome's, were filled with so much pain it made him hurt just to look into them.
InuYasha stammered out the first thing he could think of to say.
"Kagome's in trouble isn't she?"
Mrs. Higurashi nodded. "How did you ..."
"I keep having nightmares about Kagome being hurt...by a dragon a huge black dragon."
Mrs. Higurashi gasped and moved towards Kagome's desk and picked up a black cloth. She unrolled it and showed InuYasha what was inside. A strip of rubber, a hypodermic needle and a small bag with a small trace of yellowish powder.
"Wh...what is that?" InuYasha felt cold sweat run down his back, whatever was happening to Kagome, he was suddenly feeling this was bigger than he could have possibly imagined in his worst nightmares.
"It's the black dragon."
He looked her blankly.
"Black Dragon is the street name Kagome used for a drug called Heroin."
She rolled the bag back up and threw it against the desk, then stood, her shoulders slumped.
Tears fell down her face and when she stepped forward and put her arms around his shoulders to hug him, he instinctively put his arms around her shoulders and let her cry.
"Thank kami you've come InuYasha. Thank Kami."
-Necro- or a Necrophiliac is someone who has a sexual attraction to dead people-in other words, Kikyo.
Scroll II Preview
InuYasha discovers what drove Kagome over the edge..
InuYasha Searches Tokyo to reclaim Kagome and bring her home again, what he finds will break his heart, will his spirit be able to hang on and save her from the Black Dragon?
Yes, I know this is shocking, Yes, I know Kagome is very out of character. This will all be explained in the next chapter okay? So please suspend disbelief and give me the benefit of the doubt until then!
I have striven really hard to imagine what would drive the Princess of Perky over the edge into drug abuse and I think I've come up with a plausible back story. So, just give this fiction a chance. I'll warn you, I don't know how often I will update, given the highly depressing and emotional tone I won't put a lot of steady time into it and bring myself down, rather I will work on it when I get the urge. It will be very realistic, so don't look for Kagome to barf once or twice and then be all sunshine and flowers again the next day. Heroin addiction is ugly, withdrawal and recovery is uglier. But within the ugliness there will be moments of beauty. Stubborn ass that he is, InuYasha will of course try on his own at first and fail, look for the group to come back together to help InuYasha and Kagome through this. In the end, I promise a rewarding ending. Even if it takes a little while to get there!
-Please don't send me a crap load of flames, if you don't like the story or think I'm out of my friggin mind, just click the little red box in the corner. Thank you!