disclaimer: not mine.
Pairing: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders Genre: Pirate AU, smut Rating: 18+ Notes: Ahahah. Yeah, so, the pirate AU is, like, dead easy to write for. I think it's the leather.

Some Things, You Just Don't Need.
by ALC Punk!

Sam was surprised when he was the one who got them in trouble with their new captain first. Or, rather, he got them in trouble with the captain's wife. And not for the reason he would've thought.

No, no, instead of him being attracted to the woman and causing trouble because she thought he was flirting, she flirted with him. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't Sam's type. There was something about her that set his teeth on edge, not to mention the part where she might have been old enough to be his mother. And the huge part where he was married to a woman who would rip his balls off if he even contemplated having sex with another woman.

At least until Kara got bored with him, anyway.

And then Ellen Tigh, the illustrious and (apparently) promiscuous wife of their captain did something he wasn't expecting.

Sam just stared at her, then got out of her reach, made some lousy excuse and fled to hide in their cabin. He ignored the laughter from the other two crew members. Sometimes, retreat was the best thing for everyone involved.

Recovering from his encounter with her in their cabin, Sam seriously wondered if this was worth it.

The door banged.

Sam didn't squeak. Squeaking only occurred when he was scared. He did, however, move to the side and call cautiously, "Hello?"

"Open the frakkin' door, idiot." Kara.

He opened the door, grabbed her arm and dragged her in before slamming it closed and locking it again.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Mrs. Tigh."

Kara's eyebrows went up. "What about Mrs. Tigh?"

"She..." Sam stared at her, "Have you met her yet?"

"No. But if she's anything like her old man... Hell, she'd have to be to marry a frakhead like him." Rolling her eyes, Kara smirked at him.


"What?" Apparently getting bored with looking at him, she moved past him and smacked his ass.

Sam jumped and whirled, grabbing her. "She's scary."

"Riiight. You, Samuel T. Anders, space pirate and part-time ninja, are scared of a little old captain's lady?"

"You haven't met her," he muttered, getting distracted by the part where Kara was all clad in skin-tight leather and pressed up against him. Really, in the middle of a firefight or something equally dangerous, he was pretty sure he'd be able to concentrate. But with just the two of them in the room? Yeah. So lost.

"Uh-huh." Kara poked a finger into his chest. "You're scared of women."

"Only some," he protested. He shuddered, "And I have good reason to, Kara. She grabbed my ass and then suggested I should, should..." he trailed off.

Kara snickered, "She propositioned you and you ran like a chicken? Oh, Sam." She smacked his shoulder, "I've got to figure out how to toughen you up."

"You think you can toughen me up?" Sam raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, yeah." Winding her arms around his neck, Kara smirked. "Maybe a little endurance training. Some work on your stamina..."

"I," he informed her, bending slightly and locking his arms around her hips. He lifted her into the air, "have lots of stamina."

Kara's legs wrapped around his waist and she cursed when her knee bumped the wall. "Oh?"

Supporting her easily, Sam walked the two steps to the bed then just stood there. "Yup."

"Gonna stand like this all night, Sam?"

He slipped his hand up the back of her vest. "Maybe."

"Boring." Kara informed him before pulling her arms away and letting herself drop backwards.

The movement almost pulled him off-balance, but Sam leaned back. "Trying to hit your head on the floor, Kara? What happens to the few brains you have left?"

"Oooh." With effort, Kara pulled herself back up. She latched a hand onto his shoulder and placed the other on his chest. "You're so smart, Sam." She shifted up and her hand slipped between them, fingers stroking him through his pants.

He grunted and tightened his grip on her, "You want me to drop you?"

"You do and I'll kick your ass." She warned him.

"Better than Ellen Tigh grabbing it," he muttered before turning around and sitting on the bed with a thump.

Kara bounced in his lap and smirked. "No stamina, Sam."

"Nah. I got stamina." He yanked her vest up and tickled her.

She yelped and slapped at his hands, grabbing them.

Wrapping his fingers around hers, he leaned in and kissed her. Kara tried to back away from him and lost her balance again.

His hold on her hands kept her from hitting her head on the floor--just barely.

But she was laughing when he pulled her back up and against his chest. "So, you don't like being groped by strange women? I'll have to remember that."

"Depends on the woman."

She laughed at him, "So, I'm special, huh?"

"Oh, yeah." Suddenly serious, he cupped her cheek and kissed her.

"Mmmph," she mumbled against his mouth.

Sam used his other hand to work at her vest. Really, if he could just get it open, things would be a lot better. He wasn't trying to prove that he had stamina. Nope. Not at all.

"Mmph." Kara said again before breaking the kiss. "Sam. I'm still on duty."

He stopped. "Oh."

A chuckle escaped her, "You sound so disappointed."

Snaking his hand inside the half-opened vest, he tweaked a nipple, smirking when she gasped. "I am."

"We don't have time for this," she warned him. But she didn't stop him when he unhooked the last hook and got both his hands on her breasts. Actually, she arched with a sound of approval and pressed closer to him.

"You sure?" He asked before kissing her lips again.

"Damnit." With a growl, Kara scrambled off of his lap.

"We're still in dry-dock." Sam pointed out logically, shifting and deciding if he was going to be uncomfortable, he'd get something out of it, he unzipped his pants.

"You'll miss me."

"Maybe." Getting the pants down past his hips and then to his knees, Sam smirked at her. "You're the one who's leaving, though."

Kara glared at him, then snorted. "I should leave you two alone, then? Give you both some privacy?"

"Only if you want to go back to work unsatisfied."

"Maybe flying is enough," she suggested.

Cupping himself, Sam shook his head, "If you believed that, you wouldn't be here still, now would you?"



Kara kicked his leg, then gave in and hastily shed her own pants. "You'd better have that stamina you promised."

He didn't get to answer as she pounced him, knocking him backwards and straddling his lap. Letting his hands roam her skin, he moaned when she slipped down onto him. It occured to him as she flexed and then began moving, that Kara Thrace with her face and skin flushed with arousal was one of the hottest things he'd ever seen. Followed closely by Kara with her head back as she rode him.

It didn't take her very long to orgasm. Not that he was surprised, given the energetic movements she was making. Kara knew how to get herself off; sometimes, he wondered if she really needed him. Then he'd surprise those soft little moans from her, and he'd know she'd miss him. Probably.

When she recovered, she smirked down at him then bent down and kissed him. "So, I'm special, huh?" She whispered, trailing kisses down his neck.

Running his hands down her back, he pushed upwards, "Yeah."

"Good." Kara rocked her hips in response, startling a growl from him. She grinned and then did it again before licking his chest. A moment later, she clamped her lips over a nipple, sucking.

Suddenly not caring about the whole proving he had stamina thing, Sam reminded himself as she did that thing with her hips again and his eyes rolled back in his head that his wife was hot, evil, and damned hot. And having her drive him insane was allowable, as long as she didn't leave him hanging. Which she wasn't.

"You are so easy," she informed him.

"Yeah?" He wrapped his arms around her.


Someone banged on the hatch, startling them both out of the post-orgasmic bliss. "Thrace! Get your ass back on duty! And tell that layabout husband of yours to keep his damned hands off my wife!"

Kara snickered, then called, "Right, sir!"

"I didn't touch her!"

"Apparently," Kara said as she climbed out of bed and went into their tiny bathroom, "That's not the story she tells."

"Great." Sam thunked his head against the mattress, then got distracted by the naked woman getting dressed.

"Don't even think about it," she warned him as she pulled up her pants.

He rolled onto his side and propped his head on his arm. "Think about what?"


A sigh escaped him and he rolled out of bed. "I should get back to the engine room, anyway."

"Oooh. Grease-monkey. Cute." She smacked his ass and dodged his retaliatory grab.

"Get back to work, pilot-girl."

"Yeah, yeah. Slave-driver."

Sam snorted as she left the room. He was much happier than he'd been. He was even fairly certain he could deal with Ellen Tigh again. As long as his wife was there.