Disclaimer: not mine Rating: pretty kid-friendly, really. Vague sexual innuendo.
Pairings: Sharon Agathon/Karl Agathon, Kara Thrace/Sam Anders (the latter really had no business sneaking in--but Sam was naked, and Kara says Sam naked is always a good thing)
Spoilers/Set: pre-The Woman King.
Notes: This was begun in an attempt to pay sabaceanbabe back for my shameless demands for Kara/Anders from her. The kernel kinda sat there for a while until I was desperate to stay awake this morning and greycoupon told me Sam should be pantsless. I changed it up. Helo is pantsless.
Length: 1,000+ Summary: There's a reason Sharon hates to let Karl do the laundry.

Morning Routine by ALC Punk!

Waking up in the morning with Karl and Hera to deal with was becoming almost routine, Sharon reflected as she made certain Hera wasn't chewing on anything she shouldn't be and then set about getting dressed. These days, her husband was usually already up and doing paperwork. Which was nice for his job, but left her cold and sometimes frustrated.

It was a shock to realize that, sometimes, she really and truly missed Caprica. At least there, she'd had him all to herself.

Shoving the thought away, Sharon yanked open her drawer, looking for fresh tanks. When she couldn't find any, she called, "Karl, what happened to the clean laundry?"

"Laundry?" He sounded distracted, pen making notations on his papers.

"Yes, laundry. The clean clothing you were supposed to fold last week?"

He lifted his head and blinked at her. "Um..."

Sharon spotted the bag shoved in the corner, crap piled around it and went to poke it. "Dammit, Karl, these are still filthy! You never took it down to the laundry." She turned to glare at him. They'd divided up laundry duty, he took it and folded it one week, she took it the next. Until now, it had been a decent system, even if she was sometimes disturbed to find he'd folded her underwear in neat little triangles.


With a groan, she grabbed her flight suit, "I'll just have to beg a set off Kara when I see her." She pulled the bottom half on, then tossed her nightshirt at the bed and pulled the rest up and zipped it closed.

"Sounds like a good idea," he said, tone absent.

He was already back to work on his lists. Sharon glared at him for a moment, then stalked from their quarters. Really, he could take being a good officer too far, she fumed to herself as she made her way to the pilots' quarters Kara bunked in.

When the second crewman gave her a startled look, Sharon realized she was glaring and modified her expression. It wasn't anyone else's fault her husband was dedicated to his job.

Reaching the rack room, she stuck her head in and noticed the curtain closed on Kara's bunk. Knowing the other pilot had CAP in an hour anyway, Sharon wandered over and called, "Hey, Starbuck?"

When there wasn't an answer, she shrugged and moved to Kara's locker, rummaging until she found a set of tanks. Unzipping her flight suit, she pulled them on. Better. If there was one thing that she hated about the rubbery suits--which would keep them alive in the vaccuum of space--it was that they chafed.

"Hey! Whoever the frak that is, you'd better have a good reason for stealing my shit." Starbuck's head was sticking out from the curtain, and she was glaring.

Sharon snorted, "I'll give the tanks back after Helo gets our laundry back."

"Oh, it's you." Kara disappeared for a moment, "It's Sharon. Can I kill her?"

A male chuckle sounded, and then Sam Anders' lazy voice replied. "Nah. She'll just come back."

It was a bad joke, but Sharon understood it was their way of dealing with her. Kara mocked and abused all of her friends, even the ones who weren't Cylons. "Very funny, Sam."

"Hey, I try." He stuck his head out from the curtain and grinned at her. From the state of his hair and the sleepy look in his eyes, he'd apparently come over for a quick frak and ended up staying the night. His shoulders and chest were bare. Which wasn't bad to look at, but, damn, Sharon had to remind herself she was a married woman--and he was kind of taken. "Mornin', Sharon."

"Hey, Sam." Far be it for Sharon to comment on Kara's marriage, but she sometimes wondered if it worked better when they saw less of each other. She zipped her suit back up. "You might wanna get up, Kara. We've got CAP in fifty minutes."

"Yeah, yeah." Kara's hand tugged on Sam's shoulder, and he disappeared back into the rack, letting the curtain close. "I'll be up in a few."

"Great." Deciding that leaving before she heard them actually having morning sex would be a good idea, Sharon did just that. Really. There were some days she kind of wanted to murder her husband. Today was shaping into being one of them.


The room had been quiet for a while, and Karl finally realized it was because his wife had disappeared. He frowned about that, not remembering why, but then he got distracted by his paperwork again. It wasn't that he liked the stuff, but without it, things would be a frakking mess. Sharon returned when he was just about done. He made a last notation, then stood and stretched, grinning lazily at her, "Came back for me, huh?"

"Yeah." She stuck her tongue out at him, "Shouldn't you be getting dressed, mister?"

"Oh. Right." Shedding his track pants, Karl tossed them on the bed and then moved to rummage in the drawer while Sharon went to check on a somewhat sleepy-looking Hera. He still wasn't used to her being there, much less her sleeping through most of the night. On the one hand, he'd been glad to miss midnight feedings, on the other, he wondered if he'd missed something vitally important. He frowned as he came up empty for a fresh pair of uniform pants in his locker, "Sharon?"

"Yes?" Her voice amused, she turned, bouncing Hera gently on one hip, and took in his half-dressed state. "Hey, baby, Daddy's being silly, huh?"

"Where are my pants?" Standing in his boxers and tanks, Karl had the unpleasant feeling that the Gods were mocking him for some reason. He waved his fingers at Hera as a sort of distraction.

She waved back, grinning goofily. Damn. Kid had his smile.

"I wouldn't know, Karl, I'm not the one who forgot to take the laundry last week."

Crap. "That's not funny, Sharon."

She chuckled, "Yes. Yes it is. Isn't it, Hera? Daddy's laziness bites him in the ass, huh?"

Hera gurgled in agreement.

"You could ask Starbuck," suggested Sharon as she began gathering Hera's things for day care with one hand. "Although, she might be a little busy, since Sam's over for a visit."

"Oh, yeah. Right. I can fit into Kara's pants." He knew the sarcasm was probably a bit over the top.

Sharon snorted, "If you're going to be cranky about it, Helo, I'd like to point out that it's your own damned fault you're so tall."

"You like me tall."

"I'm not so sure, right now."

This was stupid. Karl shook his head, "I'll send the laundry down on my break, and borrow a pair from hot Dog."

"He might almost be tall enough, yeah." Sharon patted Hera, hooked the strap of the makeshift diaper bag over her shoulder, and tilted her head at him, "I'll take her to day care. Make sure you visit at lunch, ok? I've got a long CAP today."

"I will." Good humor slightly restored, Helo strode over to her and bent down to kiss Hera's forehead. "Have fun, baby."

Sharon smacked his arm, "Don't call me that."

"I was referring to Hera."


Chuckling, Karl kissed her cheek and half-hugged them both.

"Hey. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Probably. Right then, Karl could totally hear the modifier in his wife's tone. He eyed her retreating form and resolved to figure out what was up with her. Just... not now. He sighed and grabbed the rest of his clothing, knowing he wouldn't have time to return. Then he added his stack of papers. Good. Now, he just had to avoid dropping everything on his way to see Hot Dog.