Disclaimer: Not mine. Well, they kind of are.Rating: AHAHAHAHA. Er. 13ish, there is mention of sex.
Pairing: Sam Anders/Kara Thrace.
Spoilers: Season 3 of BSG.
Notes: This is crack!fic. It's also cliche.

Carousel of Progress by ALC Punk!

It should have been a normal day. But a normal day that included a teenager meant an abnormal day. Sam Anders was beginning to suspect that was every day for the rest of his life. He glared across the room at his daughter (technically, adopted, but that would be splitting hairs). "And where are you going?"

"To see the other kids." She said, sounding defensive.

"Not in that, you're not."

It was the worst thing he could say. Like poking every button at once. "You can't tell me anything! You're not my father!"

Sam rolled his eyes, "We've covered this, remember? Your father's a toaster. And if you think he'd let you wear that, you're out of your skull."

Glaring defensively, Kacey crossed her arms over her chest. Some of the fight went out of her as she looked at him. "It's not that bad, is it?"

"It is."

"Well... Sharon wears less. And I've seen the way you look at her."

"Sharon is much older than you. And if you're implying that I want to have sex with her, you're dead wrong. Your mother and I have a very good sex life."

"Eeeew! Da-ad!"

Sam fought back a smirk and eyed his daughter. "Go raid your mother's closet. She's got some nice shirts that aren't Fleet-issued."

"Cool." Kacey whirled and disappeared.

Moving to the door, Sam pulled it open and eyed his wife. "You do have more shirts, don't you?"

"Sam." She snorted and smacked his shoulder. "You are such an idiot."


Moving closer, she leaned in, "So, we have a really good sex life, huh?"

"Yeah." He smirked at her.

"Maybe. You're gettin' kind of old."

Sam grabbed her and pulled her against him. "So're you."

"Mmmm. Starbuck doesn't grow old, baby. Maybe I should go find Billy, see if he's up for a litte fun."

"Yeah, and then Kat will kill you."

She snorted.

Taking advantage of her (apparently) ancient state, Sam groped her. "Hey, baby. Whatcha doin' tonight?"

Kara smacked him, "That's not even original. And you call me 'baby' again, and you'll be getting stitches."

"Uh-huh." He rolled the shoulder she'd smacked, "Owww."

"Awww. Want me to kiss it and make it all better?" Kara stretched up enough to lick his chin.

"Eew! Get a room, you two! Mom can I wear this?"

"Yeah, whatever."

Sam cast a glance over his wife's shoulder and took in the blue uniform jacket his daughter now had on over her earlier outfit. "That's better, yes."

"Good." Kacey wrinkled her nose at them and headed for the door. "You know, Nick always says he's glad his parents show affection. I just think it's gross."

"Your dad's hot," Kara informed her. "Try not to blow shit up."

"Not planning on it." Kacey said, her tone a singsong as she slammed out the door.

Sam snorted, "Definitely our kid."

"Yeah. All screwed up and obnoxious."

Sam yanked Kara's shirt free of her pants and groped her ass. "You like me being obnoxious."