Author's Note: I just wanted a total Marauder crazy fic with lots of humor and some James/Lily stuff in there. Whether I continue beyond this chapter depends on the amount of reviews I get.
Mum bought this stupid thing for me. I have no idea why she bought it for me. Oh, yeah. Something about "writing down my school experiences". My mum's gone mental. I think it's official.
She basically bought me a diary!
Wait, no. I will clarify it now so it doesn't haunt me for the remainder of my Hogwarts career:
This a journal. The completely manly journal of James Potter.
I should probably chuck it in my trunk now.
Oh, yeah. Did I mention school starts tomorrow?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: Home of the Professor who has had one too many Chocolate Frogs. I'm talking about Dumbledore. Honestly, what was he thinking making me Head Boy?
But he did and I got the badge to prove it. I wasn't even a PREFECT.
Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail all gave me hell about it. They're all sleeping now. I, being a good friend, volunteered to sleep on the floor of my bedroom while Moony hogs my bed. And by volunteered, I mean I was forced to sleep on the floor. Moony's downright sneaky. I volunteered to clean the kitchen after dinner, I come up stairs and Moony is out cold on my bed.
Very considerate, he is.
Wormtail's hogging the bed Padfoot used to sleep in when he lived here. Speaking of Padfoot, I don't know how, but he's managed to roll himself in to the closet.
Better check to make sure everything is in my trunk.
Books? Unfortunately yes.
Invisibility Cloak? Yes.
Underwear? OH NO! Just kidding, yes.
I think I'm good. Now if only I could sleep. I'm sorry, but the floor is just plain uncomfortable! Plus, I keep on worrying about various things. Like how I'm going to screw up on the Head Boy job, how I'm going to screw up in Charms, how I'm going to screw up with my Quidditch team, and how I'm going to screw up (once again) with Lily.
I should probably think of a different way to greet her when I see her at the platform. I mean, she is the love of my life. I should at least show that I like her, besides acting the way she hates. Plus, she so does not like the way I greet her every year. It's usually perverted and rude.
Well, that's what she tells me every time.
Merlin, I'm tired.
This floor suddenly seems very comfortable.
September 1Gryffindor Boy's Dormitory
Ah, back at school again.
All I can say to that is: Thank MERLIN!
Today was a tad too stressful for my own liking.
We got to Kings Cross on time. And by on time I mean we showed up at half past NINE. We ran through the barrier, put our stuff in our compartment and mum started bawling her eyes out about how it was our last year of Hogwarts.
Okay, usually I'm fine with comforting people, but it's a bit weird when it's your own mum. She shook herself off eventually.
"I can't believe it's our final year at Hogwarts!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically when he flopped down in our compartment. His exclamation was so dramatic, I was sure something even more so was about to follow.
"I don't think I'll be able to stand the shame of having a Head Boy AND a Prefect hanging around me," Sirius cried, putting a hand to his forehead.
Oh, yes. Quite a dramatic one that Padfoot is. I'm dramatic too, but when I'm dramatic it's genuine. Padfoot does it for laughs.
"Shut up, Padfoot," I muttered.
"We should head up to the compartment," Remus pointed out, pinning on his Prefect's badge. "for the meeting." OK, I had promised myself one thing over the summer. I had promised myself that I was going to mature for Lily. Love of my life. Life of my love. Yes, that sounded lame, but it's true. I just didn't know the whole maturity thing was going to come around so soon.
So I sighed dramatically (I'm very good at the dramatics) and pinned on my Head Boy badge.
Moony kept on telling me that I was going to be a great Head Boy and Dumbledore might've been a loon, but he's a loon that knows what he's doing.
This would've been reassuring if it hadn't been the five millionth time somebody had told me this summer.
So instead of listening to Remus, I chanted the same phrase in my head: Do not touch your hair. Do not touch your hair.
He gave me one last reassuring smile before he pushed open the Prefect's compartment door. Sitting in there was a familiar redhead, green-eyed, girl. Lily Evans. Damn it, now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure I was blushing.
"Hi Lily," Remus said kindly. He's very good at that. She looked up from her Charms textbook and smiled at him.
"Hello Remus," she greeted.
It seems weird to have people call him something other than Moony. I was contemplating how weird this is when her eyes flickered to me and narrowed.
Narrow eyes: a sure way to tell that Lily Evans, isn't happy.
"What are you doing in here, Potter?" she asked coldly.
"Nice to see you too, Lily," I said, while shrugging. "My summer was pretty boring, but thanks for asking. Dumbledore made me Head Boy though."
Poor Lily. She pretty much blanched. I gave her a small smile, but she continued to stare at me like I had just come in there with one of those fruit hats on my head. She was deathly quiet too. Not until the compartment was full and the train was moving did she speak.
She started talking to the Prefects about what their duties were, their privileges, stuff that Moony always reminds us he can do to land us in to detention but never actually carries out on. Such a good friend.
Wait, I'm supposed to act responsible and mature.
Er…Moony was a bad Prefect and he shouldn't have let us get so out of control.
Yeah, I need to work on that.
Then we both handed out passwords to the bathrooms and common rooms and they were all free to go.
"I'll see you at the feast," I said to Lily as Moony and I grabbed our trunks. "or tomorrow for class. Bye, Lily."
Moony and I left and started walking down the corridor to find Sirius and Peter. Once we got far from the Prefect's compartment, I turned to Moony.
"So how'd I do?" I asked eagerly. Moony rolled his eyes at my antics. Well I'm sorry, but being around Lily for an extended period of time without her yelling at me makes me happy. Really happy. Think about a little kid on Christmas morning. That's how happy I was.
"I think you were excellent in there," Moony commented. "you didn't smirk, you didn't act like a prat, you didn't act conceited, you didn't ask her out, you didn't jinx anybody, you didn't hex anybody, you didn't say a word about Quidditch-"
"Are you done already?" I cut in. I didn't know Moony was such a chatterbox. It was a bit annoying.
"Yes, I'm done," Moony replied. He slid open the door to the compartment Peter and Sirius were in. Peter was dozing on a seat, unaware of the whip cream in his hand. Sirius was standing frozen, feather in his hand just inches above Peter's face. He had the distinct look of somebody who had just been cornered.
I rolled my eyes and with a wave of my wand, the whip cream was gone and so was the feather. Sirius sat down in his seat, looking a bit grumpy
"Cheer up, Padfoot!" I said happily. "The trolley should be here soon!" Sure enough, the words had barely escaped my mouth when the compartment door rolled open.
His face lit up like one of those light bulb things I learned about in Muggle Studies when he saw all the sweets.
Peter, all he had to do was hear the money jingling and the crinkling of wrappers to know that the food trolley was here.
So we then proceeded to eat our own weight in food.
Well, I was doing that until our compartment door opened.
Standing there was this fifth year Hufflepuff girl with black braids, looking a little distressed.
"James," she said, sounding out of breath. "Fight. Up the corridor. Two fourth years. A Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff." Then she stood there, looking at me.
I knew this required some sort of Head Boy authority or responsibility, but my mind was a little blank at what to do.
"Go break it up, you dolt!" Remus ordered.
Oh, right! Break it up! Yes, of course. It was so simple! Why didn't I think of it?
"Right," I said, standing up and pulling out my wand. "Where's the fight at?" I asked the Prefect.
"Follow me," she replied. Then she took off at a run up the train. Pretty soon we came to a crowd of students chanting: "Fight! Fight!"
I pushed my way to the front of the crowd where two fourth year boys were throwing furious punches at each other.
Mustering up my Quidditch Captain voice I cleared my throat breathed in deeply, and shouted at the top of my lungs: "BREAK IT UP! NOW!" Needless to say, I was heard over the crowd. They quieted down and scattered away back to their compartments.
Nobody messes with me when I use my Quidditch Captain voice.
Except for these two idiots that were still fighting with each other.
So I shot Stupefy at the two of them. A very effective way to get people to stop fighting.
With the help of the Hufflepuff prefect that had accompanied me there, I dragged them a little ways a way from each other and lifted the Stunning spell.
"Names," I growled. "I want both of your names and your houses."
"They're Andrew Devon of Ravenclaw and Sean Fritz of Hufflepuff," the Hufflepuff prefect told me.
"I'm sending an owl to the heads of your houses," I told them. They both gulped. "Stand up. We're walking the two of you back to your compartments and you're to stay in there for the rest of the ride. Don't let me catch you two fighting again."
So looking very menacing with our wands pointed at their backs, the Hufflepuff girl and I walked them back to their compartments.
"Tell me if there's any more trouble…" I trailed off. I didn't know her name.
"Annie," she supplied. Then she walked off and I got to sit down and have some rest.
"We heard you yelling from here, mate," Sirius commented.
That reminded me that I had to write to the school. So I quickly scribbled a note on a scrap of parchment, folded it up, tied it to my owl Bertie's leg and threw him out the window.
I don't think he liked this that much. He was only half-awake when I had gotten him out of his cage.
"I think you handled the situation quite nicely, Prongs," Moony said with a smile.
But apparently, breaking up a fight wasn't enough. Oh, no. It wasn't.
I was quite hungry, despite all the sweets I had eaten. The sky outside was getting dark so we all changed in to our Hogwarts robes. All I had to do was think of the feast and my mouth started to water.
Those elves are amazing cooks. Anybody who doesn't think so is mad and should be transferred to St. Mungo's immediately.
So the train came to a halt and us Marauder's hopped out of the train as quickly as possible. People came streaming out of the train so the platform was soon crowded. But one figure that could be seen easily was Hagrid. This guy is huge. I swear, he must've swallowed Skele-Gro when he was little.
Er, I mean, when he was younger. Something in my mind makes me doubt he was ever little.
So his voice boomed out while his lantern swung. "Firs' years! Firs' years, over here!"
The words had just left his mouth when I heard a shriek. Then something blonde collided with me in a rush to hide behind a bush.
"Poor kid's scared of Hagrid," Sirius snickered.
Oh boy. This happened every year. At least one scared wet their pants when they first saw Hagrid. Or in this one's case, ran behind a bush.
Somehow, I felt as if this fell under Head Boy duty so I walked over to the bush where the first year was cowering in fear. It was a small girl and was looking as if she was trying not to cry. Poor kid.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
Oh, brilliant question James. The poor girl is terrified and on the verge of tears and you ask her something like that?
She didn't say anything though. She just took really quick breaths, attempting to prevent herself from crying. I dug through my pockets and pulled out a Chocolate Frog.
She took it reluctantly. Her hand shook a bit as she ripped open the wrapper and took a small bite.
"Look, you don't have to worry about Hagrid," I assured her. "He's really nice. Just think of him as a big puppy."
The girls' eyes widened. I had a feeling I had said the wrong thing.
"I-I-d-don't like d-dogs," she stuttered.
"Then what animal do you like?" I asked.
"My teddy bear," she replied quietly.
Somehow, I thought telling the girl to imagine Hagrid as a big bear would not help the present situation.
"Come on," I said. "I'll walk you over to Hagrid and show you he's nice." I stood up and held out my hand. She hesitated a moment before taking it. I had to crouch down to walk with her. She's really short.
" Hello, James," Hagrid greeted cheerily when he saw me. The girl hid behind my leg.
"Got another first year here," I informed him. I bent down to her level.
"You'll be fine, don't worry," I assured her. She nodded, so I took it I could leave.
I ran for the carriages. Very few students were left and I thought that Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail had already gone up to the school and I'd have to sit by myself in a carriage, but they were waiting for me. Such loyal mates I got.
"What took you so long?" Sirius asked when we climbed in to a carriage.
"I had a hard time trying to convince her that Hagrid was nice and harmless," I replied with a shrug.
"Did you tell her to think of him as a big puppy? That usually worked whenever I ran in to scared first years," Remus stated.
"She doesn't like dogs," I replied, exasperated.
Sirius looked offended. No wonder. His Animagus form is a dog.
I hardly listened to the Sorting or paid attention to what I was eating. I was just tired from the events of the day. In fact, I think the only time I talked was to ask Remus as to whether I was supposed to lead the first years back to the Gryffindor tower.
"You should've paid attention during the meeting today and no, you don't have to," Remus replied.
Yes! I didn't have to show them the way to Gryffindor tower! YES! I would do a victory dance, but it'd probably be accompanied by some singing, I'd wake up my mates, and I'm really tired.
I don't know how I thought my bedroom floor was comfortable. Nothing beats the four-poster at Hogwarts.
Ah, yes. How I have missed this school!