"Livin my life in a slow hell
Different girl every night at the hotel
I ain't seen the sunshine
In three damn days"
Ever since our little romance on screen I thought of you every night. But somehow we fell apart, everyone, even my brother and his girlfriend, thought we'd stay together. They all thought we'd make it and break all the stereotypes of how a gothic, artistic guy like me could never be with a blonde bombshell beauty like you.
Now I spend my nights in the hotel thinking, drinking, and fucking random girls. Most of them are curvy blondes that remind me of you, though none of them can ever measure up to you of course. They all slip me their numbers and ask me to call them. Once they're out the door their number is in the trash bin. I wonder if the cleaning people find all the numbers crumpled up in there and if they do, do they judge me for it?
But none of that really matters. Raw is tonight, you've been pulling away from me, I've been in this hotel for three days straight, I haven't left it since I arrived, and I really don't feel like going to work. I arrived at night and I'm getting ready to leave as the sun goes down. I bet I look paler than usual which is all the more reason for you to step away from me.
"Been fuelin'up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways"
I haven't changed and you can see it as we walk down the same hallway. You look at me, a small look of concern on your face but it soon fades as realization hits and your beautiful features are distorted into a look of disgust. You can probably tell just by looking at me that there are drugs in my system and that I've finished off that bottle of whiskey that I bought once we'd arrived.
I just walk past you, not bothering to attempt a conversation. It'll turn out as a disaster anyway. You're the beautiful good girl that everyone loves and I'm the "conflicted" screw up that the company is just looking for a reason to get rid of. I doubt anyone would miss me if I did leave though, I know you won't.
"I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her
I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her"
When I left Raw I went right back to the hotel and lay down on the bed, ignoring all my phone calls. I rolled over and opened my suitcase after pulling it out from under the bed. Inside of it was a picture of you. I stared at it for a few moments, trying to memorize every feature before I folded it up and stuck it into a small zippered pocket on the inside of the bag, telling myself that I won't look at it anymore, that I won't miss you anymore.
But I do miss you. As I zip up the bag and slide it under the bed a tear falls but I wipe it away, angry with myself for falling for you like I have. I knew it was too good to be true. I sighed and stood, going to shower before getting dressed in tight pants and a skin tight shirt knowing that some girls around here were needing sex and that they'd take it from anyone who was partially attractive and I intended on doing that. Once I was dressed and assured that I looked okay I left the hotel and headed to the nearest bar to find a new girl.
It didn't take long to pick this one up. Her name was Tara, funny how it's sort of like yours, huh? She had long blonde hair, longer than yours; it reached to about halfway down her back. She was smaller than you but the name and the hair did enough for me. We walked into my room and she looked around, smiling. We talked for maybe a minute before we both snapped and started touching each other's skin and running our hands through each other's hair.
A few hours later she's asleep on my chest. I look over at the clock and thank God that I hid your picture. I would have felt like shit with it sitting there tonight, as it always is when I fall asleep looking at it. But not tonight, tonight I fall asleep with Tara, a girl who I know nothing more about other than she likes cranberry and vodka drinks and that she's twenty-four and for me, that's good enough.
She's something for me to pretend with until tomorrow when I know I'll have to see you on the plane. Until then I can pretend Tara is you and that she loves me like I thought you did. I fall asleep as I mentally replace her face and body with yours, wishing that I knew what made you pull away.
AN: So what'd you think so far? The song belongs to Kid Rock and Cheryl Crow and is called "Picture" This chapter was obviously from Jeff's point of view. I'll be taking bits of the song and relating it to either Jeff or Trish and if there's a switch mid chapter I'll make note of it. Please Read and Review.