Parody Stories By: Hawk&Hotlips

A/N: I know I have two MASH stories already (and two House ones too), but I couldn't keep this (these) stories in. They're just a bunch of little parody stories that I thought were pretty good. I got the first idea (infact I created it with a little help from LongLiveRock) from the BCA message board. I think these will be fun. Parentheses are for the back-up singer(s)

After working a long and hard thirty-six hours in OR, Frank snapped a little. In OR, he had been making up a new style of music for himself and was ready to preform for the whole camp. He called the style 'Nerts'(later it was called 'Rock') and he loved it. The new song he made up was a love ballad to Margaret titled, 'Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Ohhhhhhhh Margaret'.

"Attention everyone, attention." Frank said calling everyone to the center of the camp a few hours later. He actually made up a band; Igor on guitar, Radar on drums, (he threatened Radar to do it) Rizzo doing the lighting, and Zale as back-up singer.

"What do you want Frank? Unlike you, some of us sleep in our bunks and not in OR." Hawkeye said. Everyone smirked a little.

"I made a song!" Frank said happily.

"A song Frank?" Col. Blake asked, "Have you flipped your lid?"

Ignoring that, Frank started the song by counting off, "1, 2, 3 4!" then the worst rock music imaginable started to play and to everyone's disgruntlement, Frank started singing,

"I've got a hot baby and she's OK,

when I met her, it must have been the month of May,

even though I'm married I'm hidin' it OK,

her name is Margaret and she's just a hot babe!

Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Ohhhhhhhhh Margaret! (Ohhhhhhhhh Margaret!)

Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Margaret! (Oh Margaret!)

Even though she's hot she's got a smart brain,

she' s the only woman I know that doesn't cause me painnnn! (Painnnnnn!)

She's got a tight, cute, bottom that doesn't wane,

and I'm really glad that she doesn't think that I'm a pain!

Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Ohhhhhhhhhh Margaret! (Ohhhhhhh Margaret!)

Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Ohhh Margaret! (Ohh Margaret!)

I can't take it anymore, I must marry her,

I know know she's not a dog because he doesn't go grr,

we hate taking picnics because we always get burrs, (they got burrs)

I hate all dogs because of their itchy, scratchy fur! (Fur!)

Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Ohhhhhh Margaret! (Ohhhhh, Margaret!)

Ne– Neeeeeeeeeeerts! Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Nerts, Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Margaret! (Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Margaret!)

There was probably more, but Frank couldn't sing anymore because he was being pelted with tomatoes and other fruit. He ran away and was promptly run over by a Jeep, he was OK, and only ran away when Col. Potter came and when Margaret got married.

That's the end of this chapter.