A/N: One shot about Lu and Mickey. The song is My Immortal by Evanescence. Enjoy!

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

I would give the very breath from my chest

To give you all the things that my mind couldn't bear

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

Even here at the RWHC I can still feel you. I constantly hear the sound of the heart monitor as we turned off the vents. I am so afraid that if I had only waited a few more minutes you would have woken up and been able to take care of me. I can't even walk into and OR anymore without feeling sick to my stomach.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

The only way I know that you are really gone is that everyone is whispering when I walk down the halls. I can hear bits and pieces of the gossip that is spreading like a wildfire. "Did you hear that her boyfriend died trying to save her?" "Can you believe that his heart actually went to a convicted criminal? It is such a waste" They all think that since you died all of the sudden my hearing is gone. It isn't and every time I hear about how died it is like you die all over again.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

I know how much our relationship ment to you. Every time we would talk about our relationship you would get a sparkle in your eye. I love the way we could talk about what scared us and things we never told anyone else.

You used to captivate me by your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts

My once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away

All the sanity in me

It seems like every night, as soon as my head hits the pillow, all I do is think of you. I think of how patient you were with me the first time after my rape; the time you took me to dinner with Joey because I had to pass the best friends test; how you didn't mind Lizzie and Jessie tagging along. It breaks my heart to get into be and find that your side is empty. How you came into the E.R. under a sheet to try and get me to go out with you. That was how I knew that you were the one for me.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

I loved waking up to you lying next to me; the heat of your breath on my cheek. You completed me, and my little family. Marc never really opened up to any of my other boyfriends, but he just clicked with you. I love how we acted like a family whenever the three of us went somewhere. Did you know that night I was going to propose to you? I was mad because the train drowned out my words, and then there was Aneesha, whose one bullet, meant for me, went into you brain and killed you.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

Sometime I get so mad at you, and it breaks my heart. I always think that it isn't your fault you died. Damnit, you died trying to save me! In the quiet of the night I get so mad that you left me here to deal with the mess of life by myself!

I'd love to walk away and pull myself out of the rain

But I can't leave without you

I'd love to live without the constant fear and endless doubt

But I can't live without you

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

I do want to get to the point where I am ok with the fact that you sacrificed yourself for me; but I am not. I do go to therapy now, a requirement of Doctor Jackson when he saw me scream at Lana. It is helping; Doctor Owens is really great. She lets me rant and rave. There is a small part of me that is afraid once I move on, I will forget all about you. I love you so much.

A/N: A short little drabble. I am not sure if I like it very much, but thanks to rediereas, I am publishing it!