Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine

SUMMARY: Ichigo's class will present the Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet for the school festival. But what if things go wrong? Like when a particular captain intervenes in a hot sizzling scene?

A/N: all I ask is for you to read and review... bear with me till the end. Thank you. Sorry for grammatical errors.


Shunsui: Nano-chan! can you please come with me to a new bar in town...

Nano-chan: Taichou, not now... i'm reading...

Shunsui's brows met.

Shunsui: huh?

Nano: well, THE TRAGEDY OF A PLAY written by SHIN (uiHS) is interesting. Something's gonna happen in the play and true feelings will be revealed! exciting!

Shunsui:ohhh... is that so... well, don't forget to REVIEW! ok?



Walking to school this early made an orange-haired teen appreciate beauty. The name's Kurosaki Ichigo. He enjoyed today's beautiful weather flooded with a beautiful sunshine, a beautiful morning indeed. The sweet scent of the beautiful morning breeze could perk up any sleepy soul. Well okay, drop that…. It was not that beautiful for him.

As Ichigo trotted down the street, he could not help but yawn. He could vividly remember why the heck he woke up just an hour after dawn. Early this morning, a nuisance midget woke Ichigo up giving him a good slap in the face.

Ichigo snatched a glance at the petite form walking beside him. Knowing that Rukia could kick the hell out of him made his scowl deepen. Rukia never failed in annoying him every minute, second and day of his life. Ichigo sluggishly ran his fingers to his spiky-orange colored hair.

"Ichigo!" the subject of Ichigo's frustration exclaimed. "Hollow!"

In an instant, both hastily ran to the source of the evil reiatsu. Ichigo in his death-god form took the lead with Rukia trailing behind him.

"Put some muscle on it! Ichigo!" Rukia said in a commanding tone. Those words happened to offend Ichigo, big time. But for Rukia, such taunt was a way to cheer him.

"I know!" Ichigo snapped. Goddammit! What a loud mouthed small lady. Telling me what to do! , he thought.

"You're taking too much time!" the raven-haired Rukia mischievously kid. "If I am the one fighting, it will only take seconds." She placed a proud grin on her face, intentionally mocking Ichigo.

Hot steam seethed in the substitute death-god's boiling point thermometer. "Shut up!" Ichigo raised his zanpaktou high and slashed the hollow's white mask. Killing the evil entity before it could do further harm.

As Ichigo set foot on the ground, he angrily faced the annoying Rukia, "can you stop hollering while I fight? You're irritating!"

Rukia glared at him. "BA-KA" She gave Ichigo a nice hard kick on his shin.

That's it! The stupid Ichigo crossed her. Rukia grumpily walked away. What's the matter with this freak? Ignoring a concerned citizen! What a dope… a very dense dope!

"Hey! Wait!" Ichigo called out.

Only split seconds after defeating some hollows, Ichigo and Rukia ran like a marathon contestants. This time, Rukia took a big lead.

Rukia yelled at him, "this is your fault!" her midnight blue hair flow glamorously with the wind. It suits her, carrot-top thought.

Ichigo answered her with an exasperate scowl. "Shut the hell up!" he murmured at her back.

"You'll be dead if I received a mark lower than A!" she yelled at Ichigo, again. Not minding the danger of a furious company.

"How could a 'late' mark mess your grade? And you're not as gifted as Hitsugaya." Ichigo said in a matter-of-factly tone. To complete his vengeance, he added a word for encouragement "Eh? Shorty?"

Rukia heard it right. S.H.O.R.T.Y. This word is enough to ruin her day.

"DIE!" The petite Rukia turned around and sadistically aimed her fist to her archfiend's disgusting face.

Seeing a puny flying fist coming to his direction, Carrot-top impishly dodged. "Missed!" Ichigo said and smirked.

"I-CHI-GO!" Rukia tried hitting him again. She expected carrot-top to dodge again but much to her surprise, he caught her hand and pressed it lightly. Rukia searched for any smart explanation for such bizarre actions but she ended up mystified.

Ichigo smiled inwardly. He didn't know why, but he's enjoying times like this. When they will have a petty quarrel and it will end up making either him or her range with fury.

Ichigo dragged the little lady was dragged along as he ran.

The two students stormed inside their room. They saw people who were growling, grimacing and scowling.

What's up? Carrot-top wondered.

"Mr. Kurosaki and Ms. Kuchiki, glad you made it on time. Come here and choose your fate." The class' deadliest literature Sensei grinned at them.

Odd. She rarely grins.

The teacher held out a small box with two remaining folded papers. Each of the curious students chose their fate.

"Don't open it yet." The Sensei warmly said before flashing a sweet smile. However, all of her students knew that behind that sweet smile of hers lies a demonic one.

"Ok, class." Sensei raised her voice to call the attention of her gloomy students. She's still wearing that devilish smile. The literature connoisseur waited for the class to settle down before she continued.

"This is a project so don't let me down! Your grades are at stake." The Sensei screeched. Her true color fumed. "Our class will present Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet for the school festival."

The mood inside became bluer than blue, sadder than sad.

"We have a week of preparation. So as you can see, the assigning of characters is fair and square. You may now open the paper you're holding." The students thought the evil teacher was done in explaining, but then she added in a very acidic tone, "Don't YOU DARE exchange your selected paper."

All gloomy faces started peeping inside the paper. Some gave out a sigh of relief others a burdened sorrow. 'Coz who might know what the hands of fate do? All of them could either have a boy's character or worst, girly character.

What the? Ichigo almost faint as he saw the name of the character he'll be portraying. Dammit! His chocolate colored eyes scanned the room and thoughtfully select . . . then who could be the other character?

"Ok, let me know your participation…" the literature addicted guru started calling the characters from the least to the most important.

"….Who's the musicians?"

A group of five proudly raised their hands.

"…..ok who's Samson? …. Gregory? Ok… Abraham? Benvolio? ….Friar Lawrence..."

Students limply raised their hands one after another as the guru continued jotting down their names and calling the other characters.

Butterflies started forming in Ichigo's stomach. He looked at his other uncalled classmates. His gloomy feature was gloomier than ever. Cold sweat trickled down his face. He couldn't believe heaven permitted this to happen.

"Who's the Nurse?"

Tatsuki deliriously raised her hand and dropped it with a bang.

. Ichigo shuddered as he saw those who were left. Fuck. He leaned his head and saw Rukia peacefully doodling on her book. Oh, God … please… not her… what a living nightmare. Then, he managed to imagine the possible scenes. He hit his head intentionally to knock him off the crazy ideas.

"Lady Capulet?"

Shit! Ichigo started to squirm on his seat as Orihime cheerfully and excitedly raised her hand.


Ichigo froze.


Chad shoved his hand and cried out a low groan.


Oh-uh… the blushing Uryuu Ishida raised his hand and adjusted his eyeglass. He too couldn't believe why he should be Mercutio of all characters. He'd rather be Romeo and Orihime be his Juliet.

Only three important characters were left. . . . .

The time has come; three students were not yet called.

The worst case scenario!

Renji Abarai, who grumpily sat, made faces of grieve annoyance.

Rukia Kuchiki, who's so damn oblivious about everything,

And him, Ichigo Kurosaki, scarady... lunatic... he don't want to participate in this PLAY.

Ok. Ok. Ok. It's pretty obvious that Rukia will be the one…. Dammit! It is better if she's the one... what choice is available? none. so it is better to be with her than... ... Ichigo started to be giddy. Even if it's a draw lots, he's sure God is good and making Renji…. The one…. Holy Shit!

All eyes settled on the trio. Options were: two guys portraying a romance on the stage or a normal pairing.


Ichigo felt the sky collapsed and the ground trembled. His breathing was not normal. This will be his future! Damn that literature weirdo.

"Paris?" the teacher called again the name of the character who's obsessed with Juliet.

Someone moved.

The shock of the century made each students jaw dropped onto the ground.

All color in Ichigo's face drained. KILL me!

Rukia stood firm and smiled coyly at their teacher. She was saying something but her voice was swallowed by the students' 'ohhh' and 'Ahh'

"Oh?" Their sensei gasped. All of the people inside the room didn't expect this turn of events or did they? Their teacher started writing Rukia's name opposite the printed name PARIS.

OMG! WTF! WTH! Holy cow! Motherfucker! Shit! Bloody Hell! Dammit! For Christ sake! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! Ichigo suffered a nervous breakdown. Medic! Medic! He blankly stared at the red haired guy.

RENJI? RENJI? My partner? Holy shit! just... please... I'd rather be in the arms of Rukia.

Renji, who's in profound 'brooding-state', didn't move an inch. The punk didn't even hear the frustrating cheers of the other students.

The flow of events passed very fast. Was it a dream? A bad, bad dream?wake me up when September comes!

"Dammit!" Ichigo snarled.

"So who's ROMEO?"

Ichigo jumped unto his feet and shot an accusing finger to the tattooed freak, which simply ignored him.

"Calm down Kurosaki!" the Sensei scolded.

All carrot-top could hear was the maddening squeals and grumbles of his fellow students... saying 'forbidden love'


Ichigo: am I Romeo? Or Juliet? (Face flustered but the scowl was still there)

Ikaku entered the scene…

Ikakku: Ah…. (Nodded to himself) so if you're Juliet….. The reason of the captain who will intervene is because….

Ichigo looked at Ikakku's shiny bald head.

Ikakku: will be because Renji is fucking you? Well, that is, if Renji is Romeo…

Rukia popped out of nowhere and hit Ikaku in his head.

Rukia: don't speak such foul ideas about that captain.. Or I'll kill you. And for your info this is an IchiRuki fic idiot!

Orihime chimed in….. Healing the bloody Ikaku...

Orihime: can the nurse have an affair?

-Shin (uiHS)


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