Title: Green lace

Prompt: 'Sloth' for the Seven Deadly Sins challenge

Author: FabledFigment

Disclaimer: Nothing here belongs to me. (including the inspiration, thank you crazywriterchick)

Rating: R (For camping out in Jayne's filthy mind)

Now that 'When to pounce?' is complete, I am busily procrastinating my longer fics by answering a challenge…


It was a quiet week on the Firefly Serenity. She was running a parabolic out of the ecliptic. She had a tidy cargo in her belly, no new passengers on board and no-one on her tail.

Most of the crew was spending a lazy day in their own bunks. Emerging only to help themselves to the food stores. They were generally avoiding each other, as was common smack in the middle of an especially long voyage.

There wasn't much for a gun hand to do on a run like this except keep his body honed and think on women.

Jayne was now doing both, pushing himself relentlessly on his chin-up bar and cataloguing women in his mind. Those he'd sexed, those he'd seen in pictures, those he'd seen naked accidentally, memorable ones he'd only seen clothed…

Sweat poured off him in rivulets, he could taste it, smell it in every breath. He grunted with each motion now. His muscles burned and strained. One. More.

Jayne dropped himself from the chin-up bar and turned, reaching for his towel. He wiped the sweat away from his eyes and rolled his shoulders a bit.

He would quit soon and hit the shower. Not that the grey-water was all that clean after a week in the black. He could smell all of his crewmates in it, and all of the soaps they used. By the end of a month without flushing the tank, all he could smell was himself. Fewer people took showers at that point.

He turned towards the center of the bay and was startled to see the moonbrain. He tilted his head, trying to figure out exactly what she was doing.

River was stretched out on the guard rail bordering the stairs. Her fingers and toes gripped the metal railing tightly. She was moving very, very slowly downwards, head first. Looked dangerous; stupid crazy girl.

Jayne watched as she inched downwards. Her skirt was mostly hanging down, it barely managed to cover her ass. That was a mighty fine length of thigh she was displaying for him.

Her head turned, not moving any faster than the rest of her. Their eyes met, "Not for you, inevitable."

Jayne flinched. Like he really needed reminding of that. Moonbrain was strictly look-don't-touch, and don't look too long, either.

"The experience must be complete." She intoned. "Understanding must be gained."

She continued downward, watching him. None of the pretty-shiny on this boat was for him. He thought he was used to that, but sometimes, like now, it blindsided him.

Jayne couldn't seem to stop himself from staring, even though she had just said she didn't want him to watch.

"No." River reached the bottom of the railing and looked down at her hands.

Somehow her grip changed and she went from stretched out to flipping thru the air. It was an impressive maneuver, Jayne was pretty sure it should have been impossible. She landed with a soft thump.

Her panties were dark green. Lacy too.

Jayne swallowed, she must not have meant him to see that. Regardless, he found the image of her skirt hanging down the wrong way from her waist indelibly etched into his brain. He found he had a need to return to his bunk…

River was in the way.

She gazed at him impassively for a long moment, standing calmly as if she hadn't just been upside down with her female parts nearly naked.

"Always misinterpreting." She smirked. "That last part was for you."

Jayne lost all control over his jaw, which dropped nearly to the floor. Had she…? Really…?

River turned away then, seeming like she would now just walk away like the I fen li /I creature she was. Instead she lifted her leg to the side till it was almost at right angles with her body and stretched her arms out forming a right angle going the other way. She only stayed like that a moment before twisting and turning.

Looked like a dance. Maybe. If there had been music.

An ache in his shoulder reminded Jayne he should stretch his own self before he stiffened up.

"Those who do not increase their talents find them taken away." River was facing him again. She stretched both her arms over her head in a dancer pose. Did she realize how enticing that was? Her eyes narrowed and her lips curved upwards ever so slightly.

He wrenched his eyes away from the crazy girl and turned back to his routine.

He heard Moonbrain make some sort of almost rude noise at his back.

She continued speaking. "They are given to the faithful servants, who already possesses much. Do you increase your talents? Do you posses much? Will you be given that which hath been taken away from the slothful servant?"

Jayne turned back, confused.

River was standing directly behind him, looking at him intently.

She reached out and touched his jaw. He flinched away. Her finger retreated, glistening with his sweat.

She stared at the droplet, tipping her head back and forth. She sniffed at her finger, then touched it to her out stretched tongue.

"Will you become a pillar of salt?" River asked seriously. "Do you turn back?"

"Huh?" Jayne, who had been mesmerized by her motion, flinched again. His brain milled at that comment for a moment… "Have you been reading the Shepherd's bible again."

"Repetition is unnecessary, the data remains from the first reading." River looked up into his face. "I am attempting to correlate it with old data."

"Old…?" His brow furrowed, then he wondered why he was trying to understand her babbling. It couldn't have anything to do with a certain green lace covered…

"Sloth. What does a slow moving mammal have to do with an unprofitable servant? Which meaning preceded the other?" She blinked at him. "Does either have meaning in conjunction with Jayne?"

Huh? He frowned at her. Was she calling him slothful? He was the one working up a sweat here.

Jayne tucked the end of his towel into his pocket. Screw this. He was going to go get cleaned up. Then he was going to his bunk. Then he would clean up again. Good plan.

River stopped him with a hand on the center of his chest. "Confusion."

Jayne shook his head and batted her hand away. He weren't the least confused. He strode away, heading for the showers, thinking on one crazy woman in particular.

And green lace.