A/N: A collab fic with my Yami, who brings out both my very best and my very worst.
Summary: Odd conversations lead to odd realizations. KakaIru
Authoress: Reggie (and her Yami)
Midnight at the Missions Desk
Iruka yawned and stretched, attempting to keep his eyes open as he sat at the mission's desk. He knew it was well past the end of his shift, but he didn't care. He liked doing his work here, were there was always people and noises no matter how late at night. Not like home, were everything was far too quiet.
"If you are sitting here in protest until I turn in my report, you might be waiting a while."
Iruka looked up in to the brown eye of the Copy-nin and smiled, "Actually, I just find it easier to get my work done here."
"That's good, because one of my dogs ate my mission notes, and now I have to start the report from scratch."
"Well, if you'd stop feeding it to them, they'd stop eating it," Iruka said with a snicker, moving one of the stacks of essays so Kakashi could sit down. The Jounin took the unspoken invitation, hopping up to perch on the desk.
"I'll have you know that my dogs are very protective and will attack anything I don't like if I'm not carefully watching them."
"Including paper work," the Chuunin asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Exactly," Kakashi finished with a grin, thoroughly enjoying the playful banter that was the reason he would seek out the younger man's company in the first place.
"So, you'd think, with such overprotective dogs, that you'd learn to put your paperwork away better. Save yourself the extra work."
"You'd think, me being a genius and all that." Kakashi waved his hand dismissively and grinned at the Chuunin, though Iruka couldn't see it. "You'd also think that a teacher could get more work done in the quiet of his home than in the chaos of the mission room."
"One would think that, unless they saw the chaos known as the faculty room said teacher is used to functioning in," he responded easily, picking up one of his brightly colored marking pens to begin correcting again. "When your default setting is to tune out gossip and rattling coffee mugs, the silence of an empty house borders on distracting."
"Then one would think that said teacher would find an appropriately beautiful housemate and procreate. Thus, bringing chaos to the home." Kakashi flipped out his Icha Icha and grinned at Iruka's blush.
"Unless aforementioned teacher had no desire for a beautiful housemate with the capacity to procreate, in which case the teacher would just be miserable." Iruka paused, wondering too late if his almost-confession of his sexuality would make Kakashi uncomfortable. He doubted it—Kakashi was shameless—but you never could tell.
"Alright, a handsomely gorgeous housemate and a Naruto then," Kakashi stretched. "It would definitely be better for aforementioned teacher's sleep schedule…" The Jounin leered playfully, "then again, maybe it wouldn't."
Iruka scowled through his blush and chucked one of his pens at Kakashi's head. "Not all appropriately handsome housemates are as bad as you." Just the one I want, he thought but didn't say.
"That's no fun at all," Kakashi played with the pen he had caught before it hit his head. "Said teacher needs an appropriately randy housemate to save him from this boring existence he calls living."
"Said teacher may just think his existence is exciting enough," Iruka said petulantly, making a grab for his pen. "Having your life in the hands of eight-year-olds on a daily basis is quite the adrenaline rush. Besides, said teacher wouldn't know where to find a sufficiently handsome and appropriately randy housemate anyway."
Kakashi pulled the pen away, "eight year olds are not sufficient company for the teacher we have been discussing." The Jounin stared at the pen for a second before putting it down and standing up. "And I think if aforementioned teacher were looking hard enough, he could find a willing and randy housemate. Good night, Iruka." With that, Kakashi left the mission's office.
Iruka blinked several times in confusion before asking nobody in particular, "what the hell did that mean?"
The next night found Iruka again in the mission's office long after his shift was over—this time up to his eyeballs in quizzes. He glanced at the clock, half-hoping and half-dreading that Kakashi would appear again.
"Need a hand?" Kakashi peered over the papers, "I may not be a teacher, but I imagine I can correct those mini-nins'…whatever those are."
"Quizzes," Iruka supplied with a relieved smile, handing over a red pen, an answer key, and a stack of papers. "Actually, Kakashi-san, I'm glad you're here. I have a question for you."
"No, my report isn't finished yet."
"Not it, but good try." Iruka took a deep breath, preparing himself. "Suppose that, hypothetically, the teacher we were talking about had an interest in a particular potential dashing and randy housemate, but didn't know if that person had interest in a not-of-the-pretty-sort housemate of his own. What could he do then?"
"I'm not sure," Kakashi began marking the quizzes. "Last night, I was under the impression that we were talking about you, not some random not-of-the-pretty-sort teacher."
"Now what exactly does that mean? We are still talking about me in a hypothetical situation."
Kakashi glanced at Iruka, then back to his pile of quizzes," you are of the pretty sort…only more handsome than pretty."
Iruka blushed deeply, lowering his head toward the papers. "I meant not female, actually…but thank you."
"So, hypothetically, this handsome-but-not-female-pretty teacher likes this handsome-potential-randy-housemate and doesn't know what to do about it, right?"
"And this potential partner could kill the not-a-female teacher should he guess wrong. That's important too."
Kakashi 'hmmed', "Well, first thing you do on any mission is observe and assess. Find out if this potential partner is interested in having a not-a-female teacher housemate."
"He seems interested enough in females," Iruka muttered, trying his best not to glance at where Icha Icha was kept in Kakashi's pocket. "But, sometimes, this unbelievably handsome housemate says things to a certain currently-housemateless teacher that gives him hypothetical hope."
"Maybe he's interested in both, or neither. Maybe he just likes sex in all its forms and is planning on using our hypothetical teacher and his housemate-less-ness for pleasures of the flesh, and when he's done he will drop said teacher like a rock and leave him hypothetically hurting. Our teacher is too good for this creep!"
Iruka blinked several times, confused and blushing. "I'd like to think he's better than that. He always looks after those he cares for, and those who need his help. He doesn't seem to be the using-and-leaving type."
"You never know, we have quite a few perverts in this town," Kakashi growled, crinkling the quiz he had now mutilated with red ink like blood.
Iruka glanced at the quiz and smiled fondly. "Oh, he makes no secret that he's a pervert, but I find it adds to his charm."
"You don't want some low-life pervert for a…housemate! Sexy and randy! Not pervert!"
Iruka snickered now, amused at the Jounin's cluelessness and almost giddy with relief. "I didn't say he was a low-life. He's highly respected and feared. One of Konoha's best ninja. Which is why I'm afraid he's too good for me."
Kakashi growled again, "No one is too good for you…and if you're attracted to that pompous pervert Gai, then I'll MAKE him…become your housemate." The quiz Kakashi was working on was now so covered in red ink it looked like a battlefield.
Iruka felt like he wanted to bang his head against something, trying not to wonder too much about how Gai was handsome or a pervert in Kakashi's opinion. "Gai? Ew! No, not Gai."
"Ebisu, then. He's a good guy, not the use-you-and-lose-you type. Though I don't understand the attraction. Not that I could understand an attraction to Gai either…but that's alright!"
Iruka groaned, burying his head in his arms. "No, it's not Ebisu either. It's the person you're probably closest too."
"EW!" Iruka sat up, glaring at the Copy-nin. "I thought we'd decided the OTHER person was the porn-reading pervert, not me!"
"Porn-reading?" Kakashi looked up at Iruka for the first time since they'd entered this territory.
Now Iruka was certain he was going to die from all the blood rushing to his head, but he was determined that since he'd come this far he wouldn't back down now. "Yes, porn-reading. He's a porn-reading pervert who is always late for everything, never turns in his mission report on time, and has more excuses than all my classes combined. He has a reputation for being lazy, and has recently proven he's as dumb as a rock sometimes. He always wears a mask and drives me crazy, but I still…"
Iruka trailed off, suddenly lacking the courage to finish.
Kakashi smiled, "Sakura might have told me you felt that way a few weeks ago…and that annoying you works amazingly well for getting you to say things you otherwise wouldn't."
"I think you're making that up to save face," Iruka snapped back, trying not to panic that Kakashi had said nothing about feeling the same.
"I might be, but I bet you're still contemplating the safest and fastest way to remove my mask and kiss me."
"No, I'm contemplating the safest and fastest escape route, if you must know."
Kakashi frowned, "I like my hypothetical contemplation better."
"Yes, well, imagine my position for a moment. I have just successfully managed to tell the person whom I'd like to be my housemate how very much I like him, and while he obviously doesn't feel the same he does feel the need to tease me mercilessly about it. Retreating sounds better from here."
The Jounin paused, then, "what part of 'I want you to kiss me' makes you feel I don't return your…wanting to be housemates?"
"The part where it's me doing the kissing. You're the Jounin. Wouldn't you want to be the one to do that stuff if you were really serious about it?" Not the best logic, but Iruka wasn't entirely sure his brain could work with his heart pounding in his ears like that.
"No," Kakashi shrugged, "you let me go on and on thinking you preferred GAI over me, or anyone over me for that matter. Now I expect you to make it up for me…Plus, I helped you correct quizzes!"
"That I'm going to have to recorrect since you massacred them," he shot back, suddenly struck by how funny the whole situation was. "But if you're so dead set on it, tell me this: what IS the safest and fastest way to get your mask down so I can properly molest your mouth?"
"Well, I'd suggest step one would be to take me out of here. People are staring."
Iruka looked around, his blush returning as he realized for the first time they weren't alone. "Alright, where should I take you, then?"
"Your place or mine?' Kakashi raised an eyebrow.
Iruka reached over and smacked him on the head. "Not that yet. How about the roof?"
Kakashi stood, "roof it is."
Iruka couldn't help but grin, feeling nervous and elated all at once as he took Kakashi's hand and lead him to the roof. It was colder there, Iruka could see his own breath, but he couldn't make himself care. "Okay, and step two is?"
"I changed my mind. I don't want you to kiss me anymore."
Iruka raised an eyebrow, enjoying the cold and the stars and the wind with the incredible rush he was feeling at the moment. "Oh no? What do you want then?"
Kakashi pulled his mask down. "You."
The chuunin couldn't help but grin, stepping closer to the other man as he shivered. Kakashi's face was just like Iruka had always pictured it, handsome and strong. He laid an icy hand against Kakashi's face, still warm and moist from being under the cloth. "Oh, so now that I've done all the hard stuff you're willing to do something?"
"You think correcting those tests while under extreme need to kill every man in the village was EASY?"
Iruka laughed, laying his head on Kakashi's chest. "I suppose not, but I still submit that telling you was harder."
Kakashi lifted Iruka's chin so the younger man was looking at him, "I still think that being willing to set you up with any guy or girl I know was harder. And I would have done it."
"Told you that you weren't a low-life pervert, didn't I?" Iruka almost whispered, watching his breath rise between the small space between their faces. "I told you that you were too good for me."
"Never," Kakashi leaned forward and pressed their lips together softly, and then drawing back to whisper, "you're too good for me, but I'm keeping you anyways."
"Well good," Iruka whispered back, looking slightly star struck. "Because if you keep kissing me like that, you couldn't get rid of me anyways."
Kakashi grinned and kissed him again, harder this time, before saying softly against his lips, "so…how long before we get to the randy housemate part of our relationship?"
Iruka grinned wickedly, pressing himself flush against the taller man. "I don't know. How long can you resist it?" And here he added a small pinch to the Jounin's backside for added affect.
"Two more minutes, maybe one if you keep pinching me."
Iruka laughed softly, shifting his weight forward so he could wrap his arms around Kakashi's neck. He kissed the Jounin slowly before pulling back and grinning. "You'll have to catch me first."
That said, Iruka turned and jumped off the roof, taking off across the frost covered rooftops. He knew Kakashi was faster, but after the emotional roller coaster he'd been on the last twenty-four hours, teasing the other man a little was too much to resist.
Kakashi stood there, grinning, for a moment, before racing after Iruka. It would be so easy to get used to this, to fall in love with this man who he had watched for so long. So easy, in fact, Kakashi might have already done it.