A/N: I jump into the Saiyuki universe armed with random, idiotic humor. You have to wonder what happens when you ride in a Jeep all day, ne?


All was serene silence in Jeep. Sanzo was mediating in the front while Hakkai listened to the soft murmur of the radio. Goku and Gojyo were either sleeping or ignoring each other, since the two hadn't even spoken since lunchtime. Sanzo was relishing the silence, broken only by the radio and the whirring crunch of Jeep's tires over the sand. It was perfect, and all together too good to last.

"AH! OW!" Goku suddenly wailed. "Owowowowowowooooo"

"Gojyo!" Sanzo snapped and he whipped around reached for his pistol. The stupid kappa was always messing something up.

"Wasn't me!" Gojyo yelped. "Goku! Watch it!"

"But-I ow! Oh aigh!" Goku wailed and Sanzo really should have turned all the way around. As it was he didn't see Goku's foot until it convulsively smashed into the side of his face. Sanzo swore eloquently at the foot.

"BAKA-SARU!" The roar came out more as 'batha-faru' due to the damage Goku's foot had inflicted on the pretty monk's face. Sanzo was going to kill him, slowly, and with many, many bullets!

"I'm sorry! It won't stooooooop!" Goku wailed. "AH! OW! Make it stop!" Goku's leg jerked around between the two front seats and slammed into Hakkai's leg. Jeep veered dangerously and Sanzo felt the vehicle tip sideways.

"Ge' 'or foo' awa'!" Sanzo bellowed as he grabbed his infamous paper fan. Goku's leg continued to flail around.

"Gojer!" Sanzo whipped around the side of the seat Goku's leg was not flailing around and glared at the kappa.

"I'm not doing anything to him! I swear! He just started wailing!" Gojyo protested as he tried to avoid Goku's flailing limb.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Goku's leg crashed into Hakkai's arm again, and Jeep spun around in two complete circles. Hakkai gripped the wheel with white knuckles and Sanzo and Gojyo began a chorus of swearing. Goku fell off into the floor of Jeep and continued waving his leg around and howling.

"Goku!" Hakkai yelped as soon as Jeep had stopped spinning. "What's wrong"
Goku, clutching his leg which was still flailing around putting everyone in danger, wailed. "My leg! Ow! It started c-cramping and it won't stop"

"Oh, is that all?" Gojyo grumpily reached over and snatched Goku's leg. "You just gotta stretch it out like this-" Goku yelped and shouted at Gojyo as the half-demon calmly twisted Goku's leg around and pulled on it. "There, done." Goku's leg collapsed into the floor and Goku took several gasping breaths.

"Wow, it's all better! Thanks Gojyo!" Goku chirped, perfectly back to normal.

"Batha-faru!" Sanzo groaned and sank down into the front seat, rubbing his swollen cheek. Hakkai laughed weakly and Jeep started off into the West again.

Until Gojyo caught Goku's hair on fire with a cigarette.