A/N: Ungh. This has been sitting around my PC for quite a while now. I'm not too fond on it, but I figured it had been too long since I uploaded anything. This was all inspired by a conversation I had with my mate about how we didn't think the series got the relationships right at all. This is basically how we thought it should be. Okay so our yaoi/taito fangirls took over a bit, but hey.
To anyone reading any of my WIPS, particularly Fragile Webs, I apologise for taking so long to update them. I blame exams. Stupid things. I've got two left, so updates should be soonish.
Warnings: MxM pairing. No likee? Clearee offee.
There's not a lot about Ishida Yamato that really changes. There's not much about him that's fake, or doesn't seem completely him. By no means am I saying he's predictable. He's so far from it that that's probably what he wants you to think. One minute you'll be thinking you know exactly what he's going to do next but before you know it, he's gone and done the exact opposite. Yet the way he does it is exactly, totally, 100 and all otherwise Ishida Yamato. So much so that you're wondering why on earth you were expecting him to do what you originally thought.
Personally, even as a kid, I'd always pictured Yama as a one-night-stand kind of guy. I guess he was always such a loner, so quiet, so guarded back then that I never thought he'd let anyone in. I never saw him as the commitment sort anyway, which is why I was completely confused when he got with Takenouchi Sora during high-school. Especially her of all people. Truthfully said I'm fairly biased after the way she turned me down, but as a couple I just couldn't see how they made sense. I mean he was so… and she was so… What exactly am I trying to say? I'm not too sure, but then I'm hardly the most literate of us DigiDestined. They were just so different though. All they had in common seemed to be their maturity and as far as I'm concerned it was on completely different levels and the whole 'Yamato being committed' thing was kind of bugging me, which is why, of course, I wasn't surprised when I found out he'd been cheating on her. Don't get me wrong – I may not have been surprised, but I was dead angry, so much so I beat the shit out of him for it. Sora was still one of my best friends after all.
A few months after that tangle of rumours came out, Yamato was known school-wide as a slut who'd sleep with anything. That was never how it was though; he wasn't that simple – nor even that horny. He simply never found someone he could be bothered to practice monogamy with and he couldn't be bothered to put up with one of those annoying high-school girls following him around trying to be his girlfriend by begging for every ounce of his attention, which ultimately was spent on his closest friends. True to say, the boy slept with a lot of people but never in the way the jock-types did. For starters he didn't just think with his pants – sure he liked sex – who didn't? But it wasn't all he thought about. He could be known to go weeks without it, though that was rare due to the local fame his band brought him. Secondly, he wouldn't sleep with just anything. His 'partners' always had to have an aspect of their soul that he found interesting or beautiful. Thirdly, he'd never lie to get someone into bed, and he'd never sleep with anyone already in a relationship. I know he always regretted cheating on and hurting Sora, he'd never put anyone else through it. He'd make sure his partners knew he was in it just for that night, no false pretences.
This obscured promiscuity went on for a good few years, right through high school until we were flat mates in University. We'd ended up going to the same place as it specialised in the less traditional, non blackboard and chalk courses, specifically music and sport. Perfect for me and him.
After being best friends since our adventures in the Digital World, it seemed only natural for us to a share a flat through Uni. Some of our friends speculated that spending so much time together would cause more arguments between us, but we only became closer.
We spent almost all of our time together, when he wasn't bringing home women and men of every shape and size. We'd go out drinking together, we'd go and see movies, we'd even go out for meals. The first - and last - time I ever did drugs was with him, because of him and thanks to him. It shocked me when he brought that home, saying maybe we should try it. Drugs had never seemed a Yama sort of thing to do - but the simple and inquisitive way he suggested it was so… himAs was the way he decided - and I agreed - that we'd never do it again. See? Unpredictable and yet typically him.
Yeah, the only thing we didn't discover together was sex. Its not like I was a virgin, I'd had a couple of flings with girls, but they didn't really do it for me, and I honestly didn't know what I was looking for. I always presumed he was happy with the way he seemed to be bringing home a different girl or boy at least once a week, he certainly seemed to enjoy it, even though he had mentioned once or twice that he didn't really want to do it forever.
Even on the nights he brought people home though, we weren't all that separated. Especially on the nights his 'partners' didn't crash for the night, after he was done with them he'd come in my room and we'd lay in bed in the dark, side by side on our backs and just… talk. Sometimes we'd get up and make each other food and drinks, other times there was neither need nor desire. We'd do that most nights as it was, not just when he'd been with people. It started the first night we moved in - it felt so weird in a flat that we'd never been in before, just the two of us. I think we were both a little spooked, so we both slept in my room and after that it just became a habit. And before you get any ideas, it wasn't like that, nothing of the sort. We were just best friends and I hadn't even thought about exploring my sexuality. Honestly, I think Yama had enough sex for the both of us.
For about a year the furthest it went between us was mere hand-holding and friendly hugs. We just loved being together, it all felt so natural, so basic. We couldn't really bare to be separated for long periods of time. And in true Ishida Yamato style, that never really changed. I mean, it did, but it wasn't a gradual change or even just an unexpected huge change, it was just all of a sudden everything made sense.
We'd been living there roughly a year and everything was perfectly normal. It was late at night and typically we were lying in my bed. Yamato hadn't brought anyone home for a number of days, not that it really mattered. The curtains were open, letting the moonlight flood in and cast graceful shadows around us. The rain was crashing down against the window creating rhythmic, soothing beats. We were just lying in our usual position on our backs, side by side. I think our fingers may have been entwined. We were talking about relationships and love - mostly other people's - and then he said something along the lines of
"Some people say it's already there, it's just neither of the people involved ever realise it. Kind of sad don't you think?"
Something in what he said rose a questioning inside me and I rolled over on my side to do nothing but get a better look of him and his beautiful, effeminate features. He did as I did, rolling onto his side to face me. I became lost in his crystalline cobalt blue eyes and something inside me clicked. Just staring into them I know I'd found my heart, my soul and my future. Everything of me was in him and it felt like everything of him was in me. I leant forward, lips parting, and captured his in a gentle, spark-inducing kiss that merely confirmed everything I'd found in his eyes. He kissed me back, and for one beautiful moment it felt like we were one.
I pulled away carefully, staring back into his eyes, and realised that it wasn't just that one moment, we truly were one, an existence of ourselves beyond ourselves.
I drew him closer to me and laced one of my hands in his hair as he nuzzled his face into my neck.
"Did we just find it?" I whispered.
I could feel him nodding against me as he muttered, "I think we did," He placed a chaste kiss on my neck and then we just fell asleep.
Nothing changed between us really, it had always been there, and nothing in him changed. It was in fact - if unpredictable - so typically Yamato, so typically me. The only thing that changed was he wasn't a one-night stand person anymore. He'd found the one he was meant to and wanted to be monogamous with, and I'd found what I truly wanted.
And it all felt so right.
That was all over ten years ago, and I've never been happier. We still live together and technically we're married after performing a civil ceremony, but it wouldn't matter if we hadn't, because everything between us would still be there and its never going away. We're thinking about having kids at the moment too. Well, adopting. I'm not that stupid, shockingly I do understand the human anatomy and the birds and the bees enough to know we're both men and neither of us can give birth.
I guess there's a moral to this story, to my life; if you keep looking for love, you probably won't find it. It's probably lying dormant in your blue-eyed blonde-haired best friend who lies by your side nearly every night.
Well, maybe that's a bit restrictive and specific, but we all know it's where I found my soul.
-- Even Gods Dream, 2007