Disclamer: I do not own Naruto or any if its characters.
A/N: This happens to be my first fanfiction story...ever... and no I have no beta reader or anything so if I've screwed up, lemme know. I'm more than happy to take constructive comments, and if you're gonna flame me, oh well, thats what the delete option is for.
Warnings: Guys in love...don't like it...don't read it.
"Don't look at me like that…"
"I'm sorry, but considering the circumstances, this just happens to be the only facial expression I can muster up at the moment."
Tsunade sighed and put her head in her hands. "Listen, I have no one left to do this. This is normally an assignment that I would leave for a chunnin, but they are all out on missions. All the other jounin are out on A class and S class missions…"
Where I belong, Hatake Kakashi thought to himself. This is such bullshit.
"Knock off your sulking brat." Tusnade glared at him.
"I do not sulk. I choose to brood instead. And furthermore, if you are going to imply that I am acting like a child please make sure that you at least identify my childish actions correctly," Kakashi spat out glaring back at his superior.
Tsunade looked up from her paperwork and shot him a look that spoke volumes. It was a cross between "What the Fuck Did You Just Say to Me" and an "I'm Going to Have Sakura Practice Her Vasectomy Medical Training on You" type of look. Kakashi quickly straightened out from his trademark lazy slouch and prepared himself for the outburst he was fixing to receive.
"Hatake, I do NOT have time for this. This IS you mission and you are GOING to accept it soldier!"
Hmmmm…maybe this won't be as bad as I am making it out to be, let's just see exactly what this dammed mission entails… "Fine." He snatched the scroll off of her desk and read over the information and names. "Kami, there has to be over 40 names on here…."
"I know. The number of them was unusually large this year. The academy needs help."
She must be joking….or she's sober. She can't expect me to go through with this, I lack morals…"Listen," Kakashi decided that the truthful way may be the best approach in this case, "I'll admit, even I don't have the patience for this Tsunade-sama. There MUST be someone else…" Kakashi looked up from his scroll to find a fuming Hokage glaring chakra-coated daggers at him. Ooooook, that option didn't work…and maybe this really isn't the time to be arguing…
"Get. Your. Sorry. Ass. In. Gear. And. Prepare. For. Your. Classes. Ka-ka-shi!" Tusname seethed through her already clenched teeth.
"Hai,Tsunade-sama.". With a quick pop and a puff of smoke, the copy-ninja teleported outside the Hokage Tower.
Tsunade grabbed two bottles of sake from underneath her desk. I should have given one of these to Hatake. She smiled inwardly at the thought. He's gonna need it if he plans on surviving the first week of school. Maybe I shouldn't have assigned him the 5 and 6 year olds, bah, he can handle it. If not, it will be worthwhile to watch him quiver under the eyes of a bunch of 1st year academy students. She took a thoughtful sip. Genma, you dirty dog, this is one bet that you are definitely going to lose.
Genma was smothering a giggle from his hiding place in the ceiling. Oh man Hatake… you have no clue what you are in for. Even I can only handle those brats for just a few days. Thank the gods I'm only a sub……hmmm…. Genma cracked a bigger smile as an interesting thought crossed his mind. Hehehe, I think I should give a couple of people a head's up about Hatake coming and hanging out at the Academy for awhile. It's not like this is a classified mission or anything, so "technicially" I'm not doing anything un-shinobi-like by letting them in on his little "mission"……Genma's eyes widened, his brain almost locking up on the (in his opinion) hilarious details of the situation, and thought about one person in particular who would find this piece of information even more amusing than he was.
Iruka……You're gonna wet yourself from laughing so hard……
Kakashi looked at the list again. Forty-five students. Shit, I couldn't keep up with three, much less this many. Kakashi frowned at this thought, recalling the days when he had Team 7 under his tutelage. Even though his team members had gone separate ways, things were easier then. Those students came to him already knowledgeable in the different areas of being a shinobi. With these academy students he would have to start from scratch. Kakashi sighed as he put away the scroll he was using for his current reading material to replace it with his Icha Icha novel. He turned towards the path leading to the Academy and began to make his way towards what he felt was his everlasting doom. They want me to teach mini-nin. There's no way I'm going to do this. I mean…it's not that I can't or anything…it's just that I'm Hatake Kakashi for kami's sake! Sharingan Kakashi! The infamous One-Eyed Copy Nin! I didn't spend all my years being a ninja to wind up a stuffy academy teacher. I have better things to attend to ... like…ummm… reading porn. Kakashi nodded his head in agreement with his inner thoughts.
Alright genius, time to think of a way out of this. There has got to be a way…
"Alright class, bring your kunai tomorrow. We will be spending the entire day discussing and practicing tactical throwing techniques as well as learning how to formulate your enemy's kunai trajectory paths." Groans and looks of despair came from all corners of the classroom. Okay, maybe that was going over the top a little. Iruka sighed inwardly.
Hmm, I guess I'm going to have to liven things up a bit.
"I'll bring a live, MOVING, target to practice with…"
The classroom bellowed a large "WHOOP!" before tearing out of the classroom door while chattering to one another about tactics and who would be able to draw "first blood". Iruka sighed again, wondering where he went wrong in teaching the children kunai throwing techniques. He also felt sorry for the person who going to be making a guest appearance in his classroom tomorrow. "Shit, who in the hell am I going to talk into being a moving target for a bunch of 8 and 9 year olds who are just getting the hang of throwing weaponry?" Actually 'flinging weaponry' would be better words for what the kids were doing, but a few were progressing along nicely and he had to give them credit.
He turned his attention to the stack of scrolls that were lying on his desk begging to be graded. I wish I hadn't made them do an essay on the theory behind genjitsus, although, it be interesting to read what they have to say about them. Iruka sighed for a third time in 10 minutes. I really need a genjitsu to fall on me right about now; I wouldn't mind the hallucination…
A familiar chakra flare was coming from the hallway. Iruka looked up in time to see Genma strolling into his classroom with a peculiar look on his face. Iruka thought he looked like he had been throwing up and laughing at the same time. Hmmm. Genma. With an expression that screams "Tickle me and I'll hurl on your sandals". Nice. This should be interesting…
"Guess who's coming to pay our fine academy a prolonged visit?" Genma squeaked out, obviously trying to control his laughter…or puke. Iruka cautiously placed the trash can in between them just in case Genma couldn't contain himself. He also started to draw a mental map on what furniture was where in his classroom. He didn't want a desk or a bench to be in the way of his escape route if Genma's vomit was going to take on projectile forms of spewage.
"Um, I don't know? Are you ok Genma-san? You look kind of…pukey…"
"Will you not throw up on me if I guess correctly?"
Genma looked at him quizzically. "Erm…why would I throw up on you?"
"No reason…heh…soooooooo who's visiting the academy?"
"Well, they have found Taki-san a replacement."
"Ahh," Taki had been gone for two months now. Iruka knew that occasionally academy teachers were sent on missions every now and then, but for a teacher to be gone for two months was usually not a good sign. "Tsunade-sama has given up hope on seeing him return?"
"I don't think she ever gives up, but I think she is trying to be rational in this situation."
That's a first. She must have finally sobered up. Or Shizuine henged into the Hokage and started doing her work for her. Iruka felt a smile come across his face. Either way…at least they are trying to help the situation instead of continually finding substitutes for the poor kids. They have been though 14 subs already….not that it's entirely the childrens fault or anything…ok well maybe they are a small part of the reason why the subs are choosing to leave...
There was this one time at recess when an exploding tag laced with stink bomb fluid went off inside the teacher's desk…..
Who was he kidding….this group of first year academy students made Naruto look like an angel. Boy, I don't envy the teacher that winds up with them. In fact, I don't think that there's anyone willing enough to volunteer for this position. Oh gawd..unless…Tsunade wouldn't have…. Iruka's train of thought broke from the sounds of something tapping. He looked up and found Genma looking quite put out.
"Are you gonna guess or not?" Genma tapped his foot impatiently at the chunnin. Iruka snapped his attention back to the senbon-chewing jounin.
"Sorry, I was supposed to be guessing…right….erm…Ebisu?"
"Nope, try someone more…flashy."
"Gai-sensei?!?! Please tell me you're kidding…" Iruka wasn't sure if he could handle working so close to Kohona's Green Beast. He could only handle so much sparkling and spandex.
"No, besides he's out on a mission at the moment, although THAT would be almost as interesting to watch. Hmmm, maybe flashy isn't the right word. How about….crazy?"
Thanks a lot Genma, which only leaves me with ALL of the jounins to pick from. Being crazy is a freaking requirement to even BE a jounin. Hmmm maybe he means the craziest. He could only think of one right off the top of his head.
"Anko…with small children….I don't think so." Genma scratched the back of his head. "Ok, lemme think of another word to describe this person….eh…anti-role-model-ish?" Genma looked at Iruka, hoping that maybe that would be enough this time.
"Personally, I wouldn't recommend a jounin to be a candidate for a role model….but that's my thoughts." Iruka tapped his finger to his forehead, trying to place a specific person to those adjectives that Genma was supplying. "Asuma …maybe…he smokes in front of kids…"
"Oh come on Iruka!" Genma shook his head in disbelief. This chunnin could be just so dense sometimes. "Fine! This will give it away…this person is weird…as in "reads porn in public" type of weird!" Kami, if he can't correctly guess this time…
Iruka eyes widened in shock, or fear, or just general awe. Needless to say, he was going through many emotions…maybe if he just started alphabetically from appalled to zoinked, he could cover them all…..
Heh nevermind….it finally clicked. Genma's face contorted back to the pukey-grin.
No wonder he's smiling like that. Iruka though, his feet frozen to where they were…he was still in shock. No way. No fucking WAY. They are against Anko teaching. But they are letting Hatake…. Iruka just moved his mouth up and down, trying to convey his present feelings toward Hatake Kakashi with small innocent children. Ok, maybe not totally innocent, but still. Wait…. Iruka finally closed his mouth and smiled…evilly. He hadn't forgotten about the time before the chunnin exams where Kakashi had made him look foolish in front of everyone, including the Third Hokage. Iruka honestly felt that his students were not ready, and Kakashi made him feel smaller than a blade of grass with his cutting remarks and his look of indifference. It was almost like he didn't care what happened to his team, and it infuriated Iruka to no end. This isn't the chunnin exams, and I think it's time I got a little retribution. Besides…..this is going to make for some serious entertainment.
"Hmmm so our illustrious Copy-Nin is going to grace us with his presence neh? We should make him feel right at home." Iruka dropped his evil grin and replaced it with a simple serene smile. Genma felt his stomach roll. He knew Iruka and how much Kakashi's words had bothered him after the chunnin exams. He almost felt sorry for Kakashi….almost….
"So, how are you plot….err …planning to welcome him" Genma asked in a casual tone.
Iruka smiled and was fixing to respond when his classroom door opened. A man with unruly gray hair stepped just inside the door frame. He put his hand on the back of his head and gave a questioning look (well what looked like a questioning look…it was difficult to read though the mask that he wore) towards the two ninjas that stood in front of him.
"Yo. Umm could someone tell me which room is 213? I'm here to replace Taki-san."
Iruka smiled innocently at the man standing in the doorway. "Of course Kakashi-san, room 213 is just right behind you across the hall."
"Thanks." Kakashi turned and stepped across the hallway.
You just wait Kakashi, I'm gonna love watching you squirm in front of those kids, ooooh and said kids…. which by the way….. need shuriken practice…
"Hey Kakashi-san, did you need help with your lesson plan for tomorrow?" Iruka asked, and then proceeded to follow Kakashi to his classroom, "Cause if you're stuck, I'd be more than happy to help you start" he quipped.
Genma looked at Iruka with an incredulous look on his face and muttered under his breath "Wow, not wasting any time are we, sensei?"