Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine. (If it was, Tatsuki would be mine, too.) 300 not mine either. Or anything else I'm going to feature.
Note: As promised, the sequel to "Taking Zaraki Kenpachi Out To See A Movie" is here! Please read up on that fic for more laughs and the back story!
01: 300 Arrives In Seireitei
When it was over, Zaraki Kenpachi shed a single tear of manly joy.
He was not a man of many words. Few of those words were given to lyrics or poetry. He was a fighter, not a lover or a thespian. "And fucking proud of it," he would add.
Now, for the first time in his life, he wished he had some power of lyricism, if only to be able to better express his impression.
It was his first time. That made it extra special. And it would set his standard for succeeding examples of the art to the highest possible pedestal in his pedestrian mind.
The artistry was flawless. The battles were breathtaking. The oratory was gripping. The ending was perfect. The whole film was sheer– what was that word that Kurosaki used? Cool. There. Cool.
"Well?" Ichigo asked as the rest of the audience filtered out of the cinema.
Zaraki lowered his normally booming voice into a sepulchral whisper out of respect to the impossible beauty he just witnessed. His words were rough but well-meant and laden with emotional admiration.
"300 is fucking beautiful..."
The whole host of the 11th Division assembled in the open plaza of their Division HQ to give their returning Taichou a hearty welcome.
Zaraki beat them to the cheer. His throaty roar overpowered his underlings' combined efforts.
"Harooh!!! Head's up, boys! I brought a goody from the human world!"
The grinning giant waved a thin rectangular case over his head. "We're watching 300's Limited Edition DVD Release tonight!"
To Be Continued