Disclaimer: Everyone of these characters belongs to Joss Whedon and no money is made with this. I just stole the characters for my own purposes. ;)
The Last Of All Nights
Buffy heard her own steps creaking on the stairs as she made her way downstairs, all the while listening to the silence of the house above her. All of her friends were up there huddled together, playing games or just keeping each other company in the last night of all nights. It could very well be the last night she would spend with any one of them. So what made her go down these dark steps, away from all of them? The answer was simple and yet she didn't stop to think about it. And as she took the last step, she saw him standing at the bed, waiting for her. The way he looked at her without saying a word washed away her pondering. A small smile crept onto her lips as she went over to him. She looked up at him, expecting him to say something, but he didn't. He just lifted his hand to tuck the strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes behind her ear. She caught his hand on her cheek and closed her eyes, wanting to feel his touch just a bit longer. When she opened them again, she caught a look on his face that she couldn't quite place, so she just took his hand and pulled him down onto the bed. Spike let himself down beside her and she snuggled into him. When she had her head cradled onto his chest, his arm safely around her, she said: "They are playing games up there."
"So why are you not with them then?" His question was asked innocently; she recognized it in the way his voice was lighter than normal, but he noticed the tension in his body.
"Because I don't want to," she replied and closed her eyes. Listening to a heartbeat that wasn't there, she was surprised to find that she had never done this before. Riley had had a heartbeat and she had never bothered to listen for it. Now she wished she could hear Spike's; hear it beat inside of him, alive, something that was not supposed to be ever heard by anybody else.
But it wasn't beating, it would never be, and she found that she didn't care anymore because she knew it was there. His heart was directly beneath her and it was feeling more than some human ones ever would.
"Spike…" It was just a whisper that came over her lips.
"What is it, love?"
She propped herself up on the mattress. Her gaze wandered to his eyes, dark and blue, looking at her with a sincerity that made her shiver. She didn't know what it was that she felt right then, but it didn't matter. She didn't want to think about it. All she knew was that she was near him, really near him, and it had been a long time since she had had that with anyone.
And then she kissed him. She felt his surprise when her mouth touched his, her lips a caressing touch instead of the passionate, demanding one he was used to from her.
After a moment he pulled away and held her at arms length. "Are you sure about this, Buffy?"
Buffy looked at him. "As sure as I can be."
"I don't know if that is enough for me." He looked at her with the troubled eyes that she knew just too well. "Don't play with me," he finished in a pleading but warning voice.
She traced his lips gently with her fingers, staring deeply into his eyes. "I'm not," she whispered. He cocked his head to the side, the way he always did when he tried to figure something out. "Trust me."
She kissed him again and this time he responded. She slowly discovered his mouth with hers, nibbling on his lips, having missed the softness of them. Their eyes locked while her fingertips travelled under his shirt and over his chest; slowly, gently, like a breath of air on his skin. She had done many things to him in their time together; ravaged him, hurt him, but being gentle hadn't been one of them. Never that. And when she looked at Spike, she saw her thoughts mirrored on his face, the surprise and the joy that her tenderness brought him.
She looked at him now and the mere thought of hurting him made her sick. What a long way the two of them had come.
She smiled and started following the trail of her fingertips with her lips, feeling goose bumps erupt on his skin. Spike made a low sound in his throat and she closed her eyes, letting herself enjoy the feel of him beneath her mouth, her hands, the slight trembling that showed her how much he had missed her. When she had pulled his shirt up and over his head, her own followed right after. Spike was still in some kind of shock at her actions; disbelief displayed in his expression, mingled with desire.
Buffy bend over him and placed her lips on his again, pressing herself to his naked chest, trying to get as close to him as she could. She just wanted to feel him and this time it was not because she needed someone to make her feel, but because it was him she was craving for, just him. What that meant she didn't know, but when she felt his fingers unclasping her bra, the thought vanished from her mind.
Spike threw her bra on the ground and pulled her closer to him. He gently caressed her hair while their kiss deepened and he rolled her onto her back. This was the Spike she knew, fighting for control, but this time it was with a gentleness she had never known coming from him either. Then he pulled away to leave a trail of hot kisses on her neck which made her shiver. His hands wandered slowly over her breasts, drawing small circles around her nipples before he took them into his mouth, one after the other. Her breath hitched and she closed her eyes, never wanting him to stop again. He kissed and caressed her all over and her hand found its way to his hair, stroking his bleached soft locks while looking at him once in a while. Slowly he unzipped her pants and pulled them down while following his movement with kisses down her legs. After that he undid his own. When his head came up again, he saw her smile; her big, green eyes bright. For a moment they just stared at each other, both taking in the others glowing presence before capturing each other in another gentle kiss.
"I missed you so much, Buffy," he whispered in that deep, charming voice that always made her shiver. "So much."
Her hand came up to stroke his cheek. "I want to feel you inside me, Spike." It was spoken quietly, but with all the emotion that she had.
When he slid into her, a small groan escaped her lips. Their eyes met as they began moving inside each other, her hands desperately clutching his shoulders. After a few moments his thrusts deepened, making her moan louder with every time. She heard him moan her name, over and over again and it made the heat inside her grow until she knew she was reaching her climax. She opened her eyes again; she wanted to see Spike when she came, sharing this moment with him in more ways than one and he met her gaze. When the release came for both of them, he collapsed onto her and stayed inside of her for a moment longer.
She stroked his back while her effort to get her breathing back to normal failed miserably. She enjoyed his weight on her, pushing down on her but not actually crushing her. He was too careful for that. When he finally looked up, he had an expression on his face that she had never once seen on him at any other time they had slept with each other. It was a look of such utter happiness that she wondered if she had ever seen him like this. It warmed her from the inside, knowing that she had put that expression on his face, and she smiled. He rolled off of her and held his arm up. She cuddled up to him, their legs intertwined and she pressed the wetness between her legs to his thigh.
"This is the first time you're not leaving me afterwards," he said after some time while stroking her hair with his fingers.
"We are both different people now than we were then," she answered. "Better people."
A short silence followed before she heard his voice a second time: "I don't know if I will be able to sleep when thinking about tomorrow."
She lifted her head and looked at him. "I know that I will," she said quietly. "With you here I am safe. I have nothing to worry about. At least not tonight." She saw him smile sheepishly in response before she closed her eyes again, slowly drifting off to sleep, feeling content and loved.
Since I am of the opinion that Buffy only realized that she loved Spike in the moment before she said it to him before he died, I tried to make clear that she feels something for him, but she isn't yet aware of what it is exactly.
Please review and let me know what you thought of the story.