Fine Again

Dead Man On Campus does not belong to me. If Josh and Cooper did belong to me, annoying blonde characters would not have been in the movie. Cooper POV.

My nightmares were rarely ever about Cliff coming back from the dead to get me. Really, I made that up so I wouldn't have to tell Josh the truth about what was really plaguing my mind while I slept.

While our interactions with the certifiably insane Cliff O'Malley were indeed traumatic, they were no where near as terrifying to me than nearly loosing my best friend had been.

The nightmares always took place on the bridge. The bridge I now dreaded having to cross, the one I avoided at all possible costs because I could just -see- Josh still up there. My nightmares were always, always, about Josh.

Josh jumping before I could get there

Josh jumping as I got there, seeing it.

Josh ignoring me once I did get there and jumping anyway.

Josh being pushed off the bridge by Cliff.

And the worst, telling Josh everything I'd really wanted to say and watching him jump anyway.

Those were the reasons that I woke up in tears, screaming and sobbing, only relaxed when Josh crawled into my bed and held me. Even though I knew Josh wasn't really going to jump and that it was all an act to bail us out of the worst situation ever, even thinking about it made me sick to my stomach. And that's why it didn't make sense that I was still having nightmares, months later, because I -knew- now that Josh wasn't serious about jumping. But…

I love Josh. For the first time in my life I, Cooper Fredrickson, loved someone and I just could not bring myself to admit it out loud. To the one person who needed to hear it. I couldn't admit that losing Josh would mean losing my world.

I wasn't used to not speaking what was on my mind. In fact, normally you'd never get me to shut up about it. But, I can't risk losing Josh, not again. So, I'll keep that piece of information to myself for a while, forever if need be and just enjoy times like this.

When I wake up screaming and he rushes over here to hold me. When I'm the center of his universe. And I'll tell him it's another nightmare about Cliff, and he'll believe me and just sit there, his arms wrapped around me until I'm calm enough to fall back to sleep.