At Sacred Heart, things tend to get a little dull. Mostly it's routine but sometimes work gets to be second-nature.

Every morning is the same thing: Dr. Kelso greets me in his own, vaguely disturbing way:

"Ah, Dr. Dorian. Thank goodness you're here because I didn't find anyone but Ted that I can blame for every damn thing that's gone wrong in both my marriage and my life. Get to work!" Kelso yelled and stormed off. Ted followed behind like the bitch he is.

"Save yourself," He whispered as he scurried after Kelso.

Either Dr. Cox (or Coxarella as I call him to have a good laugh) gives me some charts or tells me to treat a patient right away:

"Newbie, I need you to go to room 465 and see what's wrong with Mrs. Monroe," Dr. Cox handed him a chart. JD nodded but continued to move on with his internal monologue.

Then I see Elliot, she says Hi and then complains about the way she looks:

"Morning, JD. God, I look like a total train wreck today. I had NO time to fix my hair so here I am, looking frumpy and sleep-deprived," Elliot continued to babble, oblivious to the fact that JD took the safest route out of the conversation: ducking into the next hallway.

And of course, I always see the Janitor when I least expect him.

JD slammed into the Janitor, who was leaning on his mop and staring off into space while chewing on his bottom lip.

"Why do you do that?" The Janitor muttered in his casual monotone that nearly made JD wet his pants.

Still dry…

"What are you talking about?" JD asked; his voice crackling a bit with fear. It was only 9:30 and he hadn't had his coffee yet, in effect, he was deathly afraid of anyone who had motive to kill him.

"Blonde doctor gives you all the time in the world. She talks with you, laughs with you, and even sleeps with you sometimes, but you always bail out when she starts pouring out her heart and soul. Why do you do that?" The Janitor leered down at JD. Sure, there wasn't much of a height difference between them but when Janitor did this-

I feel like a smurf…

"Okay, first of all, her name is Elliot. Secondly, you can't judge me! We went through so much and we are just getting over that awkward phase and I'm not ready to spend a lot of time with her yet! Leave me alone, Jumpsuit!" JD squeaked indignantly and tried to run into the elevator which had conveniently 'binged' open.

There must be some sort of timer on that thing…

"Hold it, Scooter. Heh, it's funny. I can call you Scooter again because you actually have a scooter," Janitor grabbed the back of JD's scrubs and pulled him back into the conversation.

Do NOT mock Sasha… poor girl's shy already.

"I'm there for you, baby," JD whispered to himself with a glazed expression.


"Nothing!" JD's hand immediately went to protect his face. The Janitor's grip on the back of his scrubs had become vice-like.

"You said 'I'm there for you, baby.' Scooter, I will never be more than your friend, you've got to understand that,"

God, his grip is going to give me such a weird feeling for the rest of the day. He has really strong hands… really big ones, too. I wonder… no wait; I already know how big he is. Right… I wonder if he really is married or if he just makes that up to psych me out.

"In case you were wondering, I'm not married and I have no kids," The Janitor randomly cleared up for JD.

Who else is psychic?!

"Troy is most of the time but he's a little slow on the up take," He shrugged casually.

"Stop doing that!" JD nearly shrieked in that pre-pubescent voice Dr. Cox always rode him for.

Why is that such a popular phrase? 'He's riding me'… God, it makes it seem like we're sleeping together! Ew!

"It's not so bad, Scooter. You can come out of the closet any damn time you feel like it," The Janitor finally set JD down and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

I wish you'd stop touching me.

"Fair enough. But that will happen just as soon as you come out of the closet,"

"I'm not gay and for the love of GOD stop reading my mind!" JD shook with anger as he often did during his few mental break downs.

The Janitor took the opportunity of solitude to push JD into the custodial closet and lock the door from the inside. JD was pressed up against the corner like a trapped little rabbit.

"I'm not reading your mind, Scooter. I just know you so well that I know exactly what you're thinking. Troy can't read minds, by the way," The Janitor leaned against the door and chewed on a toothpick. That toothpick happened to be a Q-tip.


"That's not very nice, Newbie," The Janitor gave an exaggerated pouty look.

"Wait, only Dr. Cox calls me Newbie. You call me Scooter," JD looked for a way out of this hell-in-a-closet but saw no sign of escape.

"Yeah…" The Janitor flashed a quick smirk/grimace and continued to stare-down the young doctor.

"Why are we in a closet?" JD asked the question that was actually furthest from his mind at the moment.

"Well, Newbie, there's a lot of reasons. One: I could be setting you up for a classic joke that I will laugh at again and again when I tell it to my squirrel army. Two: I could be trying to make you die from anxiety. Or three: I could be trying to get you alone so I could make sweet love to you with your stethoscope still on. Your choice, bucko,"

The Janitor then gave the most stunning Dr. Cox 'make a choice, Newbie' pose I had ever seen in my life. God, he was weird.

"Honestly… I want it to be the first one," JD shrunk back into his corner.

"The funny thing is," The Janitor began taking off his shirt, "It's all three,"

The Janitor leaned in for a powerful kiss, driven purely by lust for the young doctor. JD was shocked, to say the least; especially when he became hard by the Janitor's forcefulness. He let out a tiny moan that decided to be a squeak at the last moment.

"Very manly of you, Scooter," The Janitor snickered and clamped his mouth down on JD's throat.

"Sh-shut up," JD said with an uneasy voice. The Janitor responded by grabbing JD's cock through his scrubs.

"You're my bitch, Scooter. Understand?" The Janitor licked JD's neck and nipped at his ear. JD let lose a very loud moan.


"Something the matter, Newbie?" Dr. Cox asked with fake interest. JD snapped out of his daydream with a great deal of shock and personal disgust.

"Banana Hammock!" JD nearly yelled and ran to the nearest bathroom, trying his hardest not to make his hard-on too noticeable.

Oh dear sweet heavenly cheesecake! I have a crush on the Janitor?!