Summery: What if instead of going to the mayor at the end of the episode "Consequences," Faith went to someone else? This story picks up right after Faith was about to split, but instead saved Buffy from Trick, and decided to stick around. Instead of going to the mayor looking for a 'job' she goes to someone else.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer characters. The amazing Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy and all of those other wonderful people do.
Pairing: This is a Buffy/Faith fic so for those who have a problem with female/female relationships I suggest you don't read this.
Feedback: Yes please! I crave feedback so whether it's positive or negative please send it my way!
A/N: For now this is just a one shot. I've actually been sitting on it for quite a while now trying to move forward with it but I've been having a little trouble so it may just stay as a one shot but we'll see how it goes.
I can't believe how exhausted I am. I mean I've pulled all-nighters avoiding apocalypses before and not been this tired. It can't be any later then midnight, and yet I can't seem to keep my eyes open.
I'm guessing it's from all the stress I've had in the past few days. You wouldn't think it would be, but having the responsibility of saving the world on your shoulders is a lot less stressful then carrying around the secret that you're somewhat responsible for the death of an innocent man.
You see, I have the responsibility of saving the world on my shoulders everyday. After a while you just kind of get used to it. But it's not everyday that Faith and I accidentally kill a man.
I know what you're thinking. Faith was the one that plunged the stake into that man's heart so why am I saying, "Faith and I," killed a man?
The answer to that question is simple. I feel somewhat responsible. Giles said that it was an accident and there was really nothing I could have done to stop it, but I don't really believe that.
That whole night had been going wrong from the start. I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach that people get when they know something really bad is about to happen.
But I ignored it.
No matter what Giles says I still feel like I could have stopped it. I'm a slayer. I can sense when vampires are near. I sensed the first two that came at us before they even got to us.
It was like a beacon was going off in my brain, a tingly feeling crawling up my spin. Slayer senses are like that. When a vampire is near it's like a switch gets turn on in our heads immediately altering us from somewhat normal girls into protectors of the night.
I didn't sense anything with the deputy mayor. You would think that would have clued me in, but I set him up for Faith to make the kill anyway.
It all just happened so fast. By the time I realized he was human it was too late. Faith was already mid-thrust. The damage was inevitable.
Yup, that's definitely where a lot of the stress is coming from.
It was even worse when Faith and I were the only ones who knew. It was killing me to not tell anyone. I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when Giles found out.
Unfortunately though, that didn't lift all of the weight. After that moment of relief I quickly realized what was causing the rest of my stress…worry.
I was worried about Faith.
After everything that had happened I found that all I could constantly think about was if she was going to be ok. I wondered how she must be feeling, what must be going through her head, how she was dealing, or not dealing in her case.
I can still remember how she reacted. In the beginning she was just as freaked out as I was, but then she changed. It was almost as if she simply turned off every emotion in her body. The only thing she was worried about was getting out of there. She shut herself off completely, and that worried me more then I can even explain, and still does.
It's weird though, I have no reason for being worried about her after what she did. Not only did she completely blow off the fact that she killed someone, but on top of that she tried to blame the whole thing on me.
I tried to help her and instead she made me an enemy. I tried to be her friend and she basically threw it in my face. And let's not forget what she did to Xander.
And yet, here I am, walking into my house after a very long night, still worrying about her.
She did save me tonight though. I mean sure, I technically saved her first when I pushed her out of the way of those falling crates but I know that wouldn't have killed her. It didn't kill me.
That vampire was closing in on me and I was already weak from the crates I saved Faith from. She could have just split while that vamp was focused on me, but she didn't. She stuck around and took care of the vampire. She saved me.
To be honest, I didn't think she was going to do it. I thought that she was beyond the point of caring about anything, or anyone. But the fact that she did save me, and that she is going to stick around, tells me there's still hope.
There's still a chance that she can make it through this undamaged. And for some reason, all I can think about is doing everything in my power to make sure that she does.
I wanna help her. More then anything I wanna help her. I don't know why, but I do.
But right now, all I wanna do is sleep. I slowly walk up the stairs, my legs feeling heavy with exhaustion. When I finally reach the top I start going through my nightly routine.
First, I quietly open the door to my mother's room and peek my head in to check on her. Sure enough she's sleeping safe and sound in her bed.
She looks so peaceful and yet I can see the worry in her expression. I walk into the room and place a gentle kiss on her forehead and, as it does every night I do this, her expression changes. A small smile creases her face as if with that one simple gesture she now knows, even in sleep, that I'm home safe and she no longer needs to worry until a new day begins.
After reassuring my mother that I'm home safe, I trudge over to my own bedroom door and happily open it longing to see my wonderful bed. When I open the door a sigh of relief escapes me as I know that I can finally go to sleep.
But of course, it just couldn't be that easy.
As I open the door a little further and walk in, I quickly realize that I'm not alone in my room. Standing by my window is a scared looking, dark haired slayer I know all too well.
"Faith," I say with surprise.
And all of a sudden the extreme exhaustion is gone. I'm now completely awake, eyes wide open in anticipation.
What the hell am I doing here?
I'm standing in B's room and I have no idea why. I just didn't know where else to go, but I felt like I needed to go somewhere I guess. She was the only person that came to mind, so here I am.
I nervously rub the back of my neck as I try to keep my emotions in check. I'm usually really good at that actually. Its how I've learned to live my life ever since I was little. Crying shows weakness, and I can't afford to show weakness.
So I ask myself again, why am I here?
"Hey, B," I say with a forced smile that she'll probably see right through. Somehow she always does.
"What are you doing here, Faith?" she asks with a confused look on her face. "Are you alright?"
See, she sees right through me. No matter how good I am at hiding my emotions she somehow always seems to know when something's wrong. I should really ask her one day how she does that.
I try to shrug it off and play it cool. "You know me, B. I'm five by five," I say with a winning smile.
Too bad she's still not buying it.
"Then, what are you doing here?" she asks me again.
I freeze up for just a second and I know it's over. My smile slowly fades.
No! Stay in control. You can do this.
My eyes start to fall and I can feel my defenses dropping.
What's the matter with you? Stay. In. Control.
"I..I didn't know where else to go," I seem to squeak out.
And I'm crashing.
It's finally become too much for me to handle. All my life I've been able to keep up a strong face through everything. When my dad was hauled off to jail when I was seven, every time my mom used to beat the shit out of me in her lovely drunken state, even when I was forced to stand there and watch my watcher as she was ripped in two, I kept my emotions buried deep inside. I wouldn't allow myself to show weakness.
But this whole thing with the deputy mayor was just the tip of the iceberg. I just can't hold it in anymore. There's just too much and if I keep holding it in I know that I'm going to become someone that I never wanna become.
I already hurt Xander and tried to turn B into the bad guy. If I keep going down this path I don't even want to know what could come next.
I swore to myself that I would never end up in prison like my father. I can't end up like him. I won't let myself, no matter how bad things get.
So even though I've worked so hard at building these walls around myself, deep down I know that I've gotta let them down. I have to get all of this out before I explode.
Tears start to form in my eyes as I try to figure out what to say next.
Yeah, you heard me right. Faith, the bad ass vampire slayer is about to ball her eyes out. Get over it.
"I'm so sorry, B," I say as the tears start to fall from my eyes. "I am so sorry for everything. I just…I don't know what I'm doing anymore."
Before I know it I've got my hands running through my hair nervously and I'm sliding down the wall into a sitting position on the floor. I'm still trying to hold back my tears but I already feel them rolling down my cheeks. I briefly rest my head against my knees to try and compose myself. I can't bring myself to look at B when I'm like this.
When I feel I have my tears under control, I bring my head up. But I still can't look at her. I rest my elbows on my knees and my head on my hands. I shake my head slowly as I continue.
"I didn't know, B. I didn't mean to hurt him."
"I know," I hear her say with genuine compassion.
Her voice sounds a lot closer then I thought she was. When I glance in her direction I find that she is, in fact, closer then I thought. She's crouching down next to me with sympathy in her eyes. I don't deserve that sympathy but I take it in and open myself up to it anyway.
But only for a moment. Then my head falls once again in shame.
And then I feel it. Her hand is on my shoulder and to my surprise I suddenly feel a little bit better. I look up at her with slight shock in my eyes at her attempt to soothe me.
A soft smile appears on her face and I'm done for.
That smile mixed with her comforting gesture seems to just open up the flood gates. All the fear, the doubt, the pain, the anger, the regret, it all comes out in a fit of sobs and tears. I just can't hold it in anymore.
When I see her begin to cry all I want to do is pull her into my arms. I wanna hold her tight, comfort her, be her shoulder to cry on. So I do.
Without hesitation I reach out my arms and pull her in to me. I let her cry into my shoulder as I gently stroke her hair and tell her everything is going to be ok.
And it will be. I'll make sure of that. I'm not going to let anything happen to her and I'm going to make sure that she gets through all of this. I'm not sure why I'm going to do this, or why I even want to in the first place, but I do, and I will.
"Everything's going to be ok, Faith," I continue to tell her softly. "I promise. Everything is going to be alright."
I find myself completely stunned. Faith always keeps herself so locked up that I never thought I would see this day, the day when she's finally broken down. I guess that it's finally all becoming a little too much for her to handle.
I'm glad that it's finally happened though, and that I can be here for her. No one can keep themselves that shut off from everyone and everything around them without snapping.
Faith was very close to snapping. I could feel it.
I smile a little as I continue to hold her and gently kiss the top of her head reassuringly.
After a little while longer I can feel her sobs begin to slow. I place my hand under her chin and lift her damp face to look at mine. She tries to resist and look away at first, but when I finally get her eyes to meet mine I feel this incredible rush come over me.
My entire body warms just from one glance into her sad, brown eyes. The hair on the back of my neck feels as if it's standing straight up and my breath suddenly feels short. It's as if the world around me disappears, except for her. And that's when the realization finally dawns on me.
I have feelings for her.
I know it sounds crazy, but as I sit there looking at her I realize how beautiful she is, and she's never looked more beautiful then she does right now.
Even with her tear stained cheeks, her red swollen eyes, and her slightly messed up hair she seems to just glow. I look into her eyes and I can finally see her, the real her. She puts up walls but the deeper I look into her eyes the more walls I don't see. She's finally let them down.
I reach my hands to her face and softly brush away her tears with both thumbs. Her eyes close at the feel of my touch and in that moment it takes all the strength inside of me not to lean in and kiss her.
It's as if some force is drawing me to her. My will power weakens and I actually think I feel myself leaning in towards her.
But I'm not. I'm still in the same position I was in seconds earlier, completely lost in her eyes.
I don't understand these feelings at all but I don't really have time to sort them out right now. Right now I just have to be here for her.
Despite the fact that she's slowed her crying I can see that Faith is still extremely upset. I slowly pull my hands away from her face and stand up, never letting my eyes fall from hers. Then I reach out my hand to her.
I look up at the blonde with slight confusion in my still tearful eyes. In reality I'm more confused then my eyes could ever show.
First of all, I'm confused about why I even let myself break down in front of B like that in the first place. But that's not even the most confusing part. I know this is going to sound a little crazy, but I think Buffy and I just had some kind of a moment or something.
When I broke down, she held me. When I cried, she wiped away my tears. I never expected all of this, from her of all people, but I'm grateful for it. I felt more comfortable there in her arms then I've felt in a long time. The feel of her touch against my skin made my entire body tingle. It was a feeling that I've never been all that familiar with.
I reluctantly place my hand in hers and allow her to help me to my feet. I'm really trying to compose myself but I still feel the tears welling up. It's like now that I started I'm never going to be able to stop.
"It's late," Buffy says as she leads me towards her bed. "You should stay here tonight."
I nod my head in understanding as I can't seem to find my voice. I'm still feeling pretty numb.
She lets me climb into the bed first. I slowly go under the warm covers emotionlessly still trying to hold back the tears.
Buffy quickly walks over to the other side of the bed and climbs under the covers with me. At first we both try to stay to our own sides of the small bed awkwardly, both of us waiting to see what the other might do. I decided not to push my luck though and turned to the side facing away from her.
Oh great, not again.
Just as I start to get comfortable the sobs start to emerge once again. I try to hide them. I don't want to put B out any more then I already have been. But it's no use. She does have that slayer hearing after all.
Within moments I feel her strong arms wrap around me with comfort, and it's as if my entire body warms instantly. I feel safe. I feel like its ok to let go, to ball my eyes out.
But I still don't let go right away. I can't seem to keep the reality of the situation from crashing into me. I don't understand why Buffy's being like this. I mean I'm not complaining, but it's just weird.
I can't tell you how many times I've imagined what it would be like to be this close to her. Close enough to smell her, to feel her arms around me, it's indescribable.
Yeah, so maybe I've got a little thing for her. It's just a physical thing really. I mean the girl is bangin.
It's really no big deal, just something that I've kind of always felt since we first met. I try not to think about it most of the time though because I know for damn sure it could never happen. The day I get into Buffy Summer's pants is the day pigs fly.
So then that brings me back to my first question, why is she being this nice to me? Why is she helping me out like this?
I turn around slowly and look into her eyes questioningly almost as if I think I'll find the answers there.
She looks deeply back into mine and cracks a beautiful reassuring smile that seems to somehow make every doubtful thought in my mind disappear.
"It's ok," she whispers softly as she pulls me in tighter. And once again I find myself completely incapable of stopping myself from breaking down in her arms. Before I know it I'm once again gently sobbing into her shoulder as she holds me close.
I still don't understand why all of this is happening. I don't understand why Buffy's being like this. But yah know what, at this point, I don't really care. Laying here in her arms I feel a warmth, safety, and contentment that I haven't felt in who knows how long, if ever.
At this point, there's no where else I'd rather be. And with that thought in mind, I slowly feel myself drifting off to sleep.
The sun is shining brightly through my bedroom window when my eyes open. It's an odd feeling waking up because I can't really remember falling asleep.
I remember Faith falling asleep though. It didn't take her long. She cried herself to sleep in my arms. I held her close and gently ran my fingers over her arm in a comforting, caressing motion. It couldn't have been more then ten minutes before she was out.
I'm still not really sure when I fell asleep though. After I knew Faith was out for the night all I could seem to do was just lay there and stare at the ceiling.
All of the exhaustion I'd felt earlier in the night was gone. I was wide awake and my mind was racing. I kept thinking about more things at once then my brain could seem to process at the time.
What did it all mean? Where were all of these feelings I was having coming from? Where these feelings even real, or were they just a product of the moment? Was she feeling the same thing? Why was I even thinking of these things at a time like this?
These feelings jumped out at me so quickly and so unexpectedly that it was all just too much to handle. My brain was on overload and I'm guessing that's why I don't remember falling asleep. My brain probably just got sick and tired of my shit and just shut itself down without warning.
Yeah, that makes sense I guess.
Anyway, I guess it doesn't really matter when I fell asleep. What matters now is that I'm awake and I should probably check on Faith.
As I slowly turn around, so as not to wake my counterpart, I realize that she's not there.
I sit up on my bed and look around with a dumbfounded look on my face. Truth be told, I don't really know why I'm so surprised to find that she's no where in sight. It's not really Faith's style to stick around after…well…pretty much anything.
It's probably for the best anyway. Things most likely would have been pretty awkward if she would have stayed and woken up in my arms. I can't really imagine that would have gone well.
But I hope she's ok.
"Shoot," I say to myself as my eyes meet my alarm clock. I realize that I'm totally gonna be late for our daily morning Scooby meeting so I jump out of bed and quickly rush to the bathroom to take the quickest shower in history, or at least in my history.
As I undress and turn on the water to the shower the only thing I can seem to think about is whether or not Faith will be at the meeting, and if she's ok.
So this is the way I figure it. Last night someone took over my body and made me do crazy shit, 'cause what happened last night was not me. There is no way that was me.
I mean come on, I was crying in Buffy Summers' arms. Faith the vampire slayer doesn't cry in anyone's arms. In fact, Faith the vampire slayer doesn't even cry. So whoever that chick was at B's house last night certainly wasn't me.
Ok, so maybe I live in denial land. Who doesn't every once in a while?
As soon as I woke up this morning I kind of panicked. I had my head restin on B's shoulder and my arm draped across her waist. She was layin on her back and she had her arm around me. Our legs were all kinds of mixed together under the covers and we were pressed up against each other pretty much as close as humanly possible when too people are sleeping.
So yeah, I freaked.
I pulled myself away from her really slowly and really carefully so as not to wake her. She was out like a light and luckily didn't even flinch when I got out of the bed. Next thing I knew I was out the window faster then you could say, "Faith is a big dumb ass."
But seriously, I don't know what the hell that was. I mean, yeah, I'm going through a tough time right now but I've never done anything like that in my life. I've never let down my thick, firmly placed walls for anyone.
Then again, I've never been responsible for killing an innocent person before either, and B isn't just anyone.
I really just said that didn't I? Ok, so maybe what I said last night wasn't entirely true. Maybe this thing I have for B is a little more then just physical.
I can't even believe that I'm sayin this but I've just never really felt like this towards anyone before. It's really weird, and really annoying, and really really something that I don't want to think about at the moment.
I'm pretty messed up inside right now and I really need to figure out what I'm going to do about it before I even begin to try and figure out what the hell it is that I feel for a certain blonde slayer.
So I'm back in my motel room now, just got out of the shower. I know that there's a Scooby meeting in about a half hour but I can't really decide whether or not I should go.
If I go, I figure most of the people there will be giving me dirty looks and judging me as if I'm on trial, and the rest will be giving me a pity party. I really hate dirty looks but I hate pity even more. The looks I can deal with, but I'm sure at least B, and probably Giles, will be full on with the pity.
I usually don't mind being the center of attention, but not when it comes to stuff like this. It's times like this when I kind of wish I could just be invisible.
Part of me thinks that might just be the right idea, become invisible…aka split. It's what I would normally do at a time like this. It's what I almost did.
The only problem is that I really don't have any other place to go. I've kind of made a life here. I don't have much. My motel room is crappy and I've got no family or much money or anything like that. But I've actually got friends here, and a purpose. I may not have very many friends left by now actually, but I've still got the whole slayer thing going for me…and then there's B.
Still don't really wanna think about it, but yeah, she has a little bit to do with why I'm staying. Only a little bit though.
Anyway, I have quite a few good reasons why I shouldn't go to the meeting today, and yet I think I'm gonna go anyway. Maybe I'm crazy, or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment, or maybe I'd just be a lot better off going then if I didn't go.
I figure they'd probably freak if I didn't show. After that whole thing with the council they'd think they came back for me or that I skipped town or something like that. I'll probably save myself some trouble if I just go.
So I grab my hairdryer and head back into the bathroom. I'll probably be a little late, but I'll go. I mean hey, you can't keep running away forever right?
I'm guessing she's not coming. She actually usually is late for meetings, it's just her style, but it's usually only by about five or ten minutes at the most. I was about ten minutes late myself today but Giles has been talking for about ten minutes, making Faith twenty minutes late, and there's still no sign of her.
I can't even seem to bring myself to listen to what Giles is saying. I'm pretty sure he's talking about this whole situation with The Mayor but my mind is in a different place. It's trying to work through things and figure out what the hell I think I'm doing.
Last night was completely unexpected. I saw Faith cry. I saw a side of her that I never thought I would ever see. She finally opened herself up and let someone in and I was there for her. I held her, and I comforted her, and in the process I felt things that I never thought I would ever feel for another woman, especially not her.
This can't really be happening though. I can't have feelings for a girl, least of all Faith. The two of us are complete opposites and even if she was a guy she would so not be my type. Besides, I'm with Angel. I'm deeply, madly in love with him. He's my soul mate and he means the world to me.
So why the heck do I feel this way? Why have I been getting this tingly feeling lately every time her name is mentioned? Why do I always seem to get this goofy smile on my face every time she walks into the room? And why have I mentally made my mission in life to make sure that she's going to be ok after all that's happened?
Before I can even begin to think about the answers to those questions, I feel it. The tingles that run up and down my spin that always mean one of two things, vampires are near, or Faith is.
I immediately know which one even before she walks through the door. The number one reason being because it's broad daylight, and I know that no vampire would ever walk into the school in broad daylight. Well…except for that one time when I got that immolation-o-gram from Angel…but that's beside the point.
Since Faith moved here I've learned how to distinguish between the vampire vibe and the slayer connection that we share.
The difference is in the tingles. When a vampire is near the tingles are cold. It makes the hair on the back of my neck stick up, and my muscles tense up at the feel of it. It's a very unpleasant feeling.
The slayer connection on the other hand is a different story.
Whenever Faith is within a few yards or so away from me I get the same tingles as with a vampire, but with some miner differences. The feeling is less aggressive and more…comforting, almost as if the missing part of me has found its way back.
And that sounded a lot more romantic then it was supposed to.
What I'm trying to say is that technically she is the missing part of me…in the slayer sense that is. There aren't supposed to be two slayers in the world but there is. We both exist at a time when only one of us should. In a sense we're kind of sharing our power.
So when we're together, it's as if our slayer powers are drawing each other in and trying to complete itself. It's kind of like we're each half of a slayer and when we come together we're complete.
Now that doesn't mean that we both only have half of the slayer strength though. We each possess the full powers of the slayer in every aspect. Enhanced strength, agility, healing, speed, reflexes and all of that good stuff are all fully instilled in both of us.
I honestly didn't even really notice a difference in my power after I died and came back to life. I didn't even know that anything was missing until I met Kendra. I felt the pull of the slayer connection with her too, only for some reason it wasn't as strong, and it was kind of different.
I wonder why that is.
Anyway, it's not as if we're each half of a slayer when it comes to the power. In that sense we're both full slayers. What I'm talking about is the essence of the slayer. That's what drives us, and that's what's split in half. The slayer essence is what pulls us when we're around each other, and I'm not going to lie…it's strong.
If I concentrated really hard I could probably even feel her if she was farther then a few yards away. It really all depends on if I'm looking for it or not for the most part. Like last night I couldn't feel her until I was in the room already looking at her. It's a funny thing this slayer connection. One of these days I'll have to try and find out more about it.
At the current moment it's humming as she walks into the library.
She looks good. Last night she was scared, nervous and disheveled, but she's calmed herself down now and she's putting on a pretty face. She's dressed as hot as ever with a tight top that shows more cleavage then I thought possible. She's got the same light makeup that she always wares. She probably doesn't even need makeup but it always seems to make her look just that little bit more hot.
I never really realized before just how much I admire her looks until now. She has an amazing body and the most adorable smile that I've ever seen. She's even hot when she's pissed off.
Ok Buffy, bad thoughts! Time to snap back into reality here!
"Sorry I'm late, G," Faith says as everyone watches her walk towards us. "Slept in a little later then I expected," she adds with a quick and almost unnoticeable glance my way.
I quickly turn my eyes away from her as I realize that I was probably staring before. As I look around the room I can't help but notice the different expressions on everyone's faces.
Xander crossed his arms over his chest as soon as she walked in. He looks extremely uncomfortable and slightly hurt just from the sight of her. It's kind of understandable. Faith had pretty much used him and then in a mental breakdown moment nearly killed him. He kind of has a right to be uneasy around her.
Willow on the other hand looks like she's about to explode at the sight of Faith. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that Will was a little upset about the fact that Faith and Xander slept together, as was I, but that's a different subject all together.
Then when Faith hurt him she pretty much turned herself into public enemy number one in Willow's eyes. I think I can actually see a little bit of smoke coming out of her ears as she tries to hide her anger.
Oz is his usual expressionless self but Wesley is another who's looking a little uneasy. He screwed up big time when he involved the Watcher's Council in all of this and he knows it. He won't even make eye contact with Faith as he visibly goes through a mental debate in his head.
What the debate is about, I have no idea, but it must be pretty intense because the smoke from his ears is adding to Willow's.
Giles seems to be the most composed of the bunch. If he is upset or disappointed in Faith, he isn't showing it. I think he understands that she's in a tough place right now and that she needs our help.
He smiles slightly at Faith and nods his head in understanding. "That's alright Faith. You weren't the only slayer who wasn't on time this morning," he adds as he glances in my direction.
I shrug my shoulders apologetically. "I said I was sorry," I repeat defensively with my best sad puppy dog face.
"Yes, well, let's not dwell on that," Giles responds. "Please, take a seat Faith. We were just discussing the next actions we should take in relation to The Mayor."
"Right," Faith nods. She then proceeds to take a seat across from me on the opposite corner as Willow. I guess she senses the hostility too because I'm pretty sure she picked her seat because of it's convenience of being the farthest away from Will.
I try not to look at her but my eyes have this little problem of not listening to what my brain tells them to do.
As soon as I take a quick glance in her direction she turns to look at me at almost the same exact time. Our eyes meet for just a second before we both turn away again and look at Giles as we try and pay attention to what he has to say.
My efforts are pointless though. There's only one thing that I can seem to think about and no matter how hard I try, it just won't go away.
Ok, so far everything seems to be going alright. I have been getting the dirty looks from some, mostly just Willow, but I haven't seen too much pity and there's minimal awkwardness. Well, minimal awkwardness with most of the crowd. Buffy, on the other hand, is a different story.
I know this might seem crazy, but I think I caught her checking me out when I first walked it. I could be wrong, but even now there seems to be this really uncomfortable tension between us. It's almost as if we can't bring ourselves to look at each other. I tried stealing a glance her way but she must have been doing the same thing because as soon I looked towards her, she was looking back at me.
She's most likely in the same boat as me. Last night was…strange, to say the least. I was really hoping that things wouldn't be too awkward between us but I don't think that's going to happen.
As Giles wraps things up I realize that I have no idea what he was talking about. I hope it wasn't too important.
"Find out everything you can," I hear the watcher say to Willow.
The red head nods her head in understanding and I assume that effectively ends the meeting because now Willow, Xander and Oz are standing up from their seats.
Before they are able to leave Giles continues, this time looking towards me and B. "Do the two of you understand your assignment?" he asks us.
I open my mouth to try and say something but I come up blank. I look towards B to try and get some help from her but she looks just as clueless as I do, if not more so.
Giles looks to both of us with slight disappointment in his eyes when neither of us responds to his question. However, the disappointment quickly turns to worry as he takes the two of us aside.
"Are the two of you alright?" he asks us with genuine concern. He knows what we've been going through the past few days and I'm guessing he thinks that it's really getting to us. If he only knew the half of it. "You both showed up later then usual and you seemed extremely detached during the meeting. Did you even retain a word of what I said?"
I sent the watcher a guilty look and then once again turned to my counterpart to see if she was still in the same boat as I was. As she turned me as well with the same expression on her face I quickly realized that she was.