AN: Ok, a little angsty story… ) Won't be a long one, though. I'm not really good at writing angst but I just had to try it. If you want something funny, read my other story, maybe it will make you smile!
Ok, how I got the idea for this story: In Twilight, Edward tells Bella that it is hard to resist human blood and that even the strongest have their weak moments. In my opinion, Edward would have killed the guys in Port Angeles hadn't Bella been with him. I won't say too much, but what would happen if Edward had a weak moment and Bella wouldn't be there to stop him? The whole story why Edward did what he did will be covered in the next chapters ;)
Beep, beep, beep
A beeping noise made its way into my dreams, pulling me out of them and into reality.
Beep, beep, beep
What…? I lifted my hands to my eyes to get the sleepiness out of them. I knew it wasn't my alarm clock waking me – although it could be, since Edward and a part of his family went hunting for several days – but somehow, the sound was familiar.
It was still very dark in my room and as I looked drowsily around me, I heard that sound once more.
Beep, beep, beep
My gaze fell on the small, silver cell phone I got from Edward. Except for the Cullens, no one had its number. I picked it up, slightly alarmed by then. I looked at the time: It was 02:13. They wouldn't call me around this time, if it wasn't something important…
As I looked down to the small display, I could read the caller's name. Emmett Cullen.
He never called me before… I got a strange feeling in my gut but now, I was getting more awake by any second ticking by.
I answered the call, sleepiness evident in my voice. "Emmett?" I asked.
"Bella! Oh, sorry to wake you, but it's kind of urgent. You are in your room right now, right?" His voice was a bit shaky and it alarmed me. What happened?
"Yes?" I answered as I stood up slowly. Charlie was probably still sleeping so I tried to remain calm and my voice to sound quiet.
"Ok. Listen Bella: You've got to come to our house as soon as possible. Carlisle, Rose, Edward, Jasper and I just came back from hunting and something went terribly wrong."
"One moment!" I interrupted him. If something happened during the hunt, it wasn't a good sign. I put the phone for a second on my shelve and took out a jeans and a normal white shirt so I could dress while Emmett filled me in with the details.
"Ok, I'm back, go on." I told him.
"Bella, we were pretty far up north in Canada for the last day. All of us were very thirsty and we made the mistake not to look for any humans around our hunting area."
All the while he talked, I jumped into my jeans and pulled the T-Shirt over my head. I already got a feeling for what could have happened.
"Edward has probably already told you: When we hunt, we let our instincts rule. Well I can't tell you the details, but…"
I ran down the stairs to the kitchen. Thankfully, I was lucky and didn't trip. I got a piece of paper out of the counter and took a pen from another drawer to write Charlie a message.
"Somehow a human was in our territory, Jasper couldn't control himself and Edward… I don't know what happened exactly but… Bella, if you look into Edward's eyes, they will be red."
I let the phone almost fall from my hand down to the ground. Edward… He had drunken from a human? What… Why…? I couldn't formulate a coherent sentence in my head.
"Bella, are you still listening?" Emmett's voice sounded even more concerned that it already did.
"Uh… Yeah, I'm here." I managed to get out. "I have to write Charlie a note why I'm away when he wakes up…"
"Just write that something's wrong with Edward. That is as much truth as he will ever get to know." Emmett decided. Although he couldn't see me, I nodded and wrote down:
Dad, don't worry, I didn't run away. Something's wrong with Edward and I was called. I'm worried about him so I wanted to know what's going on. I'll be home for dinner, I think. Love, Bella.
Charlie wouldn't like it but that wasn't my problem. If Edward had attacked a human…
"Emmett, how is he?" I asked with a trembling voice.
There was a short silence. "He won't come out of his room and he didn't say a word the whole way from Canada back to Forks. Please come, Bella. I don't know what we can do..."
As he said that, I was already sitting in my truck, bringing the engine to life. For a second, I wondered if Charlie would wake because of the noise but normally, he slept like a stone and quite nothing could wake him. I pulled out of the driveway, and did something I never did before: I floored the gas pedal. My truck didn't like it and let out a sound pretty much like a roar.
"Do the others know I'm coming?" I asked through the phone.
"No. I didn't have the courage to ask them whether my idea would be a good one… But I know that if something like that would happen to me, I'd need my mate – and I think, so does Edward right now. I'll wait for you on the porch."
Just when his words left his mouth, I was already driving along the hidden trail to the Cullen's Mansion.
I snapped the phone shut when I could see the big white house in front of me. Emmett was standing in front of it, waiting for my arrival.
I brought the truck to a sudden stop and jumped out of it. I wasn't even belted.
"Now, that was really fast." Emmett was kind of stunned to see me in their driveway so soon.
"You said it was an emergency. Here I am." I took a second to collect my breath and slow my heart rate down a bit. I knew humans are not able to do that but a few reassuring breaths helped me to calm down.
Together, Emmett and I entered the house. Carlisle, Rosalie and Esme were sitting in the huge living room, their faces grave.
As we entered, Esme and Carlisle looked up and met my gaze.
"Bella? What…?" Esme asked, confusion in her voice. However, she came towards me, pulling me into a motherly hug.
Carlisle looked from me to Emmett. "Did you call her?" He asked the younger vampire.
"Yes. Carlisle, I don't know what else to do, I…"
"It's ok." Carlisle came towards us, too and pulled me, then Emmett into a hug. "Maybe it was the right decision. Maybe she is able to calm him down a bit…" He stepped a few feet away and looked into my eyes. I think, it was the first time that I saw Carlisle sad. "Did he tell you what happened?" Carlisle asked.
I just nodded my head.
"Ok… Please be careful, Bella. I don't think Edward would hurt you but he's not acting like he normally does. It seems as if he doesn't even read our minds, otherwise he would have come down as soon as Emmett thought about calling you." He made a short pause and looked deep into my eyes. Was he looking for a sign of angst?
"He's upstairs in his room, love. Please, be careful." Esme told me.
I gave them a small smile and pulled out my cell phone. "Carlisle? Would you please keep it until I'm back from his room? I don't want to give him the opportunity to find out who called me. I think, it wouldn't turn out well." I said. Yes, Emmett would definitely be in trouble as soon as Edward would get to know it.
Carlisle looked a bit surprised by my request but took the small silver phone from me.
Just before I ascended the stairs, I felt Esme's hand on my shoulder, holding me back.
"Bella, I have to tell you something, although I'm not sure you will understand our decision." I turned around to look into her worried topaz eyes. "Bella, our family has forgiven Edward and Jasper for what they did." She said while holding my gaze.
I lifted my hand and let it rest on her icy one and showed her an as reassuring smile as I could muster. "I already thought something like that, Esme. And now I'm not sure if you understand what I'm saying, but… I can understand your decision." I mean, humans were their natural prey… I didn't think that they would punish Jasper and Edward for killing a human being.
Esme and Carlisle looked taken aback. "You… you understand? Bella, we forgave them a murder." Carlisle wasn't sure what he should think about my reaction, I felt it.
Now it was my turn to smile at Carlisle. I wasn't sure about his reaction he would have after I finished what I wanted to say. "Edward already told me how your hunting works and although I don't know any details of the situation Jasper and Edward were in, I don't think they killed the human on purpose like… why a human would kill another human. I already had plenty of situations to realize that we are hardly more than prey for your kind – although I'm not really talking about the vegetarian ones." I knew that my voice sounded sad by then but I couldn't help it. It is one thing to know or think these thoughts but a totally different one to speak them out loud – especially in front of your probably future vampire-family. "Edward once told me, that even the strongest could have a weak moment. The hardest thing is to handle those weak moments if you're normally a strong being." I added in a low whisper as I turned around once more to head to his room.
No one followed me and as I reached his door, I had to take in some deep breaths. Did he hear me? Did he know I was coming? How would he react? Would he be mad at me? I had to clear my head from all the thoughts which flooded my mind. There was only one urgent question: What should I do?
It was easy to come here. I didn't need many thoughts about it. Somehow, I knew Edward would need me. But in addition, I knew that he probably wouldn't let me into his room out of his free will. But even if I could solve that problem: What should I say to him? 'How are you' or 'everything will be fine again' aren't the kind of things you could tell someone in his state… But then, what was his state? I knew he killed a human and since I knew Edward pretty good I could tell he would most likely feel devastated. But Esme and Carlisle had forgiven him, just like the rest of his family – didn't that count for something?
I worked up the courage to lift my hand and let it tap a few times on his door. I was careful in my movements so the knock on his door was very quiet.
There was no answer.
"Edward…?" I asked after a few more minutes of hesitation. By now, he should know that I was standing in front of his room.
Again no answer. I got more worried as the seconds ticked by.
I closed my eyes, took in one last deep breath and let my hand slid on the handle of his door to open it.
I was surprised that it wasn't locked.
Hesitantly, I stepped into his dark room. My eyes took a few seconds until they readjusted to the darkness. The moon shining through the huge wall-sized window was illuminating Edward's private little place and I felt like an intruder. Without making any noise – well, at least I didn't hear anything – I closed the door behind me. I knew Edward was here, I could feel him.
I leaned against the closed door and tried to calm down my heartbeats.
That was when I saw him. Edward was standing at the window next to his couch, looking at the landscape in front of him. I couldn't see much of his face but it looked troubled, sad.
"Edward…?" I whispered in a barely inaudible voice. I saw his body tense, he had heard me.
Edward didn't even turn around. His answer was short and emotionless. "Go."
I needed one more deep breath. Should I go? I took a step forward, towards him.
"Didn't you understand me? Just go, let me alone." He said. His voice was dangerously calm. I knew what that meant. He was on the edge of his self-control. I had to be very careful from here: I didn't want to leave him now, not after I heard the way he was speaking. But nevertheless: It would be risky if I'd go on.
I made some more steps towards him but he didn't seem to notice. His eyes were practically glued to the forest in front of his window. I was now close enough to see that his jaw was clenched, his hands were balled in fists and leaning on the glass.
I was now only one or maybe two feet away from him. I had one hand over my heart – it was pounding furiously and there was nothing I could do against it. After a short hesitation, I reached out with my other hand to touch Edward.
In a movement too fast for my eyes, he'd turned around and gripped my wrist harder than he normally would before my hand could make contact with his back. I was startled and I had to clench my teeth so no sound would make its way over my lips. I couldn't risk showing him how scared I was in that moment, although he could probably read it from my eyes.
Eyes. That was when I saw it. Edward glared down on me but his now blood-red eyes looked sad and hurt. My breath caught and my heart skipped a beat. I knew then, that I never really imagined my Edward with red eyes, the eyes of a human killing vampire. I had seen many vampires with that eye color and they all wanted to drink from me. Angst was creeping up my spine. What about Edward? Would he…? No. His eye color may have changed but I was sure his character hadn't. I still hadn't looked away and now I was sure: He looked terribly sad and hurt.
I relaxed my hands which were balled into fists by then. It was a pathetic gesture but I wanted to show him that I wasn't here to harm him. As if I would ever be able to hurt him in the first place…
Still, he glared at me but as the seconds ticked by, his expression softened a bit.
"What are you doing here, Bella?" He asked, his voice a whisper. He relaxed his grip on my wrist a bit but didn't let me look away. "It's maybe two or three in the morning, you should be sleeping right now."
"Someone told me that… there was kind of an accident during your hunt." His eyes darkened distinctly and before he could ask me who told me, I had to go on. "I thought that you… that maybe you needed me now." My voice was low and trembling. I had never witnessed Edward in such a mood before and it scared me.
He was silent for some time but then he let himself fall against the glass behind him, still holding my wrist. "Need you?" He whispered but it was more of a question to himself than directed at me. "Bella, look into my eyes and tell me what you see."
I did not want to answer at first but I felt that he was waiting for a response. "What I see… Your eyes are red. And before you ask, Edward: I know what that means."
I heard Edward heave a heavy sigh and he looked away, to the wall on his left. "Yes. The eyes of a blood-sucking monster after the last kill of a human. "His voice was full of sadness and self-contempt. It hurt to heart it.
I made one more step towards him and was now standing right in front of him. With my free hand, I reached out and carefully stroke the side of his face. Only a heartbeat later, he held my second wrist in his by then free hand and he looked once again down on me. He seemed to debate with himself what to do with me.
"Edward, I'm here for you. I won't run, don't be afraid of that." I whispered.
He brought my hand to the side of his face and nestled to it. I felt him relax a bit more as he closed his eyes.
"Why do you think I'd be afraid that you would run, Bella? It would be the most typical reaction of a human." He said and again, there was almost no emotion in his voice.
I made the last step towards him and let my head rest on his chest. "I could see the hurt and sadness in your eyes, Edward. I don't think you want to be alone right now, no matter how often you repeat that sentence." I whispered.
There was a long silence after that but then, he let go of my wrists, put his hands around my waist and pulled me closer to him. His grip felt desperate and since he was leaning on the window, shoulders hanging and with a sad look on his face, I was positive that he needed me right now. He buried his head in the space between my shoulder and my neck, into my hair and tightened his grip around my waist and now my back, too, pulling me even closer to him.
"Do you still want me to go?" I asked as I put my right arm around the part of his back that wasn't in contact with the glass behind him while my left arm reached carefully around his shoulders.
"Stay…" He whispered silently sobbing. "Please, stay…"
Yepp, that was the first chapter. It was easier than I thought because I already had the story in english in my mind... So I didn't have to translate as much as in my other story... :) Please tell me what you think! (And no, I won't forget my other story but sometimes writing 'everybody is happy' isn't the right thing to do when you are in a dark mood yourself...)