Forget Me Not - part 12
And this is it! Probably. I hope you've enjoyed the story - please please please tell me what you think of it.
Over a week later, Sam was sitting on Jack's roof at night, staring at the stars with a beer in hand. Daniel and Teal'c were down in the living room watching Oprah, and Jack was watching his 2IC worriedly.
"You keep spacing out."
Sam shook herself. "Sorry."
"Penny for 'em?" Jack asked softly. Sam closed her eyes and leant back in the deck chair.
"It's just a little weird. You know those times I woke up and thought all those bad times had only just happened? Well the feeling's still there, even though I know it was all years ago. I keep catching myself desperately missing mom, or worrying that someone's about to appear out of nowhere and kidnap me." She explained.
Jack frowned sympathetically. "Anything I can do?"
Sam smiled at him. "You're doing it."
Silence reigned again as Sam wrapped her coat closer around, breathing in the midnight air, refreshing cool and now.
"Carter, can I ask you something? You don't have to answer." Jack asked uneasily.
"Sure." Sam said frowning.
"Who were those people who kidnapped you?"
Sam looked stunned for a moment, then turned her gaze to the trees in Jack's garden.
"Doctors from an illegal research cell group. They specialised in research that involved testing new drugs on human subjects. Mostly unwilling ones."
Jack nodded slowly. "Why you?"
"I don't know."
Jack bowed his head, wincing at the strained tone to her voice. "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."
Sam sagged. "It's just a little too . . . fresh, just now."
After a moments pause, Sam turned back to look at him, her features almost unreadable in the dark.
"What would you say, if I told you I was having nightmares?"
"Nightmares? About the doctors?"
Jack regarded her carefully. "I'd say you're definitely human."
Sam chuckled. "That's a relief." She said sarcastically.
"Carter . . . I am very, very reluctant to suggest this, but might it help to talk to someone? Like Mackenzie, for example?"
Sam narrowed her eyes. "A shrink?"
"A councillor. You must have talked to someone first time round."
"There hasn't been a second time." Sam argued.
"Yes, the air force made me see a psychiatrist. I wasn't very co-operative."
"I can imagine." Jack muttered, earning a glare from Sam. "At least consider it. You're probably gonna need a psych evaluation before returning to active duty anyway."
Sam said nothing.
"How come you never told us?" Jack asked after a moment.
"You have to ask?" Sam sighed. "I didn't want you feeling that I needed to be protected. I thought, if I told you, that whenever we got into trouble on a mission and I got separated from you, you'd immediately jump to the worst possible conclusion, because you knew that it had happened before."
"How d'you know that I didn't jump to the worst possible conclusion anyway?"
Sam gave him a small smile. "If you had, I'd have seen it in your eyes."
Jack smiled back. "Yeah, I guess. I did worry though."
"But you were confident I could take care of myself."
"Yes. And I still am."
"But now you'll worry more. You'll always wonder." Sam argued.
Jack sighed. "Sam. I promise you, I will never doubt your abilities as a soldier. And if you ever think I'm getting over-protective, you have my permission to kick me. South of the groin." He added, grinning.
"Yes sir." Sam gave him a mock salute, smiling despite herself.
Jack sighed. 'Sir'. That reminded him of something . . .
"Carter –" he started reluctantly.
"Sir?" She looked at him when he didn't continue immediately.
"How much do you remember from your . . . episodes?"
Sam sighed and closed her eyes. She was wondering when he was going to bring this up. It had seemed almost too good to be true that he might just let it go.
"I have a pretty clear memory of all of it. The only one that's a bit fuzzy is when I thought I was Jolinar."
"So . . ."
"So, yes, I remember what happened when I thought I was Thera."
Of course you do. Jack thought miserably. It was too much to ask that that particular slip up on his part couldn't just be forgotten.
"So, I guess we should probably talk about it." He said, gloomily.
Sam turned to face him. "Look, sir, I understand why you did it. The circumstances were . . . difficult, and however awkward it may seem now, it did make me – I mean Thera – feel better at the time. If you want, we can just put it behind us. Forget it ever happened."
Jack's stomach clenched uncomfortably. "Is that what you want?"
"I . . ." Honestly, Sam didn't know what she wanted. She knew what they needed though, if they were going to move past this as CO and 2IC.
"I think the job is too important right now. We can't let this get in the way of SG-1."
Jack nodded. He knew she was right, however much he might hate it. SG-1 was important. Who were they to jeopardise it?
"So we leave it in the room." He concluded.
Sam put on a grim smile. "Room getting a little full for you, Colonel?"
"It's fine. For now." He said, hoping she'd catch his meaning. The small smile she gave him suggested that she did. And it did wonders for his clenched up stomach.
They stood in silence for a moment. Jack watched as Sam closed her eyes, and took a deep breath of the cool night air. She really was beautiful.
"You going to be okay?" He asked, already knowing the answer.
She grinned at him, a little unconvincingly, but with enough determination to stop a hoard of angry alien bad guys. "Of course I am."
Jack nodded, and looked back out into the night, satisfied she was going to be alright again. Maybe not right now, but soon. And at the very least – Major Sam Carter was back.
Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who's reviewed this story. I am so so grateful for all the encouragement and support! Fanfic reviewers are definitely my favourite people!
So, is this the end? It feels like a good place to stop, to avoid jeopardising the flow of the TV series. I wanted them to come back to a point where it could feasibly have happened in the 'Stargate Universe'(!) without it changing the status quo too dramatically. Anyway, please please please tell me your thoughts, I'm not completely against a sequel . . .