Butt Buddies
Warnings: Nudity, strong (gay) sexual references. Oh, and the characters make maybe offensive jokes.
Notes: Set long after the series. They're at least sixteen.

Stan stared at the ceiling, trying not to think. After a few seconds, he looked back at the figure that lay next to him, and stopped pretending. This is really happening.

He had just fucked his closest friend. Kyle lay there, butt naked, some cum still on his torso- fuck this was weird. Stan was looking at the naked body of the boy who had been his best friend since elementary school, at his skinny, barely muscled frame, at the half-hard dick he'd just sucked, at the neck he'd… sucked as well. General suckage had occurred. This was just too strange. The fact that he could feel himself getting hard just looking didn't help.

He couldn't even remember how this had happened. Memories were kind of blurry around the sexing (his cock twitched when he thought of the sexing). Had they been talking about who was better in bed, or something? Something like that. He didn't know how that had led to… this.

He felt his hand on Kyle's warm torso. Fuck, it had been good. Amazing. Sex with his male best friend had been the best he'd ever had, and they hadn't even had proper sex; butt sex. They'd only sucked and jacked. But still, it had been amazing. Does this mean I'm gay? he wondered. But it wasn't that he hadn't enjoyed sex with girls; it was just that… with girls, he had to suppress grunts of pleasure, with Kyle, he'd failed to suppress loud moans. Sex with girls gave him an afterglow, sex with Kyle had given him an aftershock, leaving his entire body shuddering with pleasure for what felt like minutes. With girls sex was good, with Kyle it was… incredible.

He was aware that Kyle was looking at him. When their eyes met, Stan felt a shiver run through his body.

"I-" he started to say, but then realised he didn't know what he was trying to say. He felt like they had to talk, otherwise… what if they couldn't talk after this? He couldn't let this ruin their friendship.

"Mmh," Kyle grunted with an expression which, Stan realized, was almost certainly the same as the one on his own face.

Stan searched for something to say.



Kyle smiled in a way which made Stan happier than he was comfortable with. "Yeah," Kyle said breathlessly.

Stan smiled back. After a few seconds, he became oddly aware of the ticking of Kyle's alarm clock. He tried to find a way to continue the exchange. God damn.

They'd known each other since fucking kindergarten. And in all the time they'd known each other, they had always been totally comfortable with one another, they'd always been able to talk to each other, whether they had something important to say or just nothing to do. Hell, when they were talking, things were just… better. But now, they couldn't talk. What if I've ruined this? Stan asked himself. The thought… hurt.

Just say something. "So…"

"Yeah," Kyle repeated.

Stan finally found something to say, even if he didn't like it. "That was… good."

Kyle grinned broadly. He chuckled. "Fag."

Stan smiled slightly. "Dude, judging by the way you were moaning, you really can't call me that."

"I thought that was why I was allowed to call you that."

"Oh, yeah." Stan grinned, feeling absurdly happy. He was still kind of in shock, but the comfortability was returning. And Kyle isn't denying that he liked it, his subconscious chipped in. "You realise that this makes you a gay Jew?"

"I know. When society starts looking for scapegoats, I am totally fucked."

Stan laughed. "Yep. I mean, not only do you control the economy, you're corrupting America's children as well." Somehow, jokes about Kyle's Jew-ness had become a staple of Stan-Kyle conversations.

"Dude, I don't control the economy. If I did, I'd make it so no-one could get any sugar."


"I'm diabetic. If I can't have it, no-one can."

Stan laughed. "You realise this basically makes you a super-villain?"

Kyle smiled at him. "Yeah…"

He seemed to pause for a moment, leaned his head towards Stan's, and quickly kissed him on the lips.

Stan froze for a second; Kyle looked a little scared, waiting for a reaction. Stan broke into a grin. "Dude, gay."

Notes: Okay, I know diabetes doesn't exactly work like that, but the important thing is that taking sugar, and by extension, joy, away from children all over the world is really, really funny. To me, anyway. Does that make me a bad person?