***Uncle Hee-chan***

Andrew Talon

DICLAIMER: Read my other fics, ya mooks! I'm tired of writing something up here all the damn time.


Heero Yuy, the perfect soldier, the savior of Earth, the Master of the Zero system, the love of Relena's life, the expert assasin, the-ah, skip it. If you don't get the idea by now, you're either stupid, underaged or in the wrong section of FF.net.

Anyway, Heero Yuy (yadda' yadda' yadda') was all these things. Not too mention the fact that, as a Preventer, his afore-mentioned skills allowed him to quickly rise through the ranks until he was second only to Lady Une herself in the whole organization.

He walked the halls of Preventer HQ with a wake of awe from the other agents. His mere presence could give pause to an entire corridor. And you can bet, if he was angry, everyone in the building would quickly retreat behind their doors and shiver under the desks.

Except Lady Une and Relena. Heero had yet to drive those two running for cover when he was in a dangerous mood. He suspected that even his best efforts couldn't make them run, even if he had Wing Zero at his disposal. A pilot in a killing machine with his brain hooked up to a computer set on 'homicidal maniac' was seldom ignored.

Heero walked down the corridor, elicting the same aura of respect from everyone he passed. Heero didn't care beans for that. They could all grovel at his feet and build a giant gold statue of him to offer sacrifices to his greatness for all he cared, and he would barely smirk. He headed directly to Lady Une's office and knocked on the door. Why he did that when there was a perfectly good buzzer was a mystery to all concerned. A rumor had circulated for the last year that the last person to ask him about the buzzer had been twisted into a knot, so the issue wasn't pressed.

"Enter," came Lady Une's husky voice from behind the door, and Heero walked right in.

He sat in the chair directly in front of her slightly imposing desk, and sat, rim-rod straight.
Lady Une looked up from her paperwork and smiled at him.

"Heero, thanks for dropping by on such short notice," she said, looking slightly amused.
Heero couldn't figure out why she looked amused, but decided not to press the matter.

"Heero, I'll be attending a conference on colony D11982 tommorrow, along with Relena.
I've looked for someone to take care of Marimaya for me, but none have applied. The whole Dekim
incident has made people afraid of her." She paused, and looked at Heero expectantly. Heero
knew where this was leading to but didn't say anything.

"I want you to take care of her while I'm gone,"she said, a twinkle in her eye.

A thousand arguements raced through Heero's mind. He considered the most likely ones, and was about to voice them when Lady Une put her hand up.

"Now, I know the misgivings that must be running in your head. I swear I can sometimes see the synapses glowing behind your eyes. Scares the hell outta' me. But, you are the most trustworthy and the best agent I have, and Marimaya was delighted when I suggested you," she finished, and smiled at Heero again,"so, please Heero?"

Heero sighed. She was using that damned smile of hers, the one she used that he had never been able to refuse. He considered one last option. Essentially it was desperation, but he forced that out of his mind.

"I have to see to the security arrangements for both you and Relena," he said in a monotone voice, but inside he knew it was a pathetic last gasp of his pride.

"Duo has put together acceptable security arrangements, and has even agreed to escort Relena to the gala during the talks. Besides, I'll be there, as well as Quatre, Trowa, Noin and Agent Wind. This is not an order, it's a request. But, Marimaya is fond of you, and I'd like to make her happy," she explained, and flashed Heero her smile again.

Heero didn't know why Marimaya liked him. Sure, when she had attended her friend's birthday party and he had gone along as a bodyguard, she had been eager to show him around and had held his hand constantly. Even when she went on a school field trip, she had asked for him.
A girl he had threatened to kill liked him? Mariamaya and Relena were sometimes so alike these days it was frightening.

Heero sighed, and nodded at Lady Une.

"I'll do it. Just promise me this."


"If Duo lays a hand on Relena, kill 'im."

"Glad to."


"Hee-chan!" squealed Marimaya as Heero walked through the door of Lady Une's home,
and the former puppet of Dekim Barton leaped into his arms from the stairs. Heero caught her, and tolerated her glomping his waist. Lady Une walked down behind Marimaya, a duffle bag slung over her shoulder. She smiled at Heero's obvious discomfort as the eight-year old hugged his waist extremely tightly.

"Now, Marimaya, be good for Heero. I'll be gone for only a few days, alright?"

"Alright, Auntie Une. Love you!" she said and slipped from Heero's waist to hug 'Auntie Une' around the neck as Une stooped to her height. They hugged for a minute, then Lady Une walked out the door, and closed it. Heero looked down at Marimaya, and she looked back.

"So.....What would you like to do, Marimaya?"stated Heero. He looked at the eight-year old expectantly.

"I want to play horsey!" she declared, and jumped up, wrapping her arms around Heero's neck. Heero grunted, but complied as he got down on all fours. Marimaya swung herself onto his back and kicked him in the ribs. Heero gritted his teeth, and crawled across the floor, Marimaya commentating excitedly.

"Here comes Marimaya, President of the Earth Sphere!" she laughed, and her 'horse' reluctantly carried her along into the living room. Marimaya balanced uneasily on Heero's back,
and jumped on to a wooden chair, Heero grumbling under his breath.

"Now, President Kushrenada will make a speech concerning the health and wealth of humanity for the next five years," she continued,"as the entire crowd cheers and applauds!" Marimaya
waved at her imaginary supporters and smiled ^_^ oh so cutely. Heero grumbled some more.

"Mm hm," she said, glaring at Heero, and tapping her foot.

Heero sighed.

"Hooray," he slurred, and clapped his hands. Marimaya beamed, and stood on her 'podium' while Heero watched dejectedly.

"I'd like to thank everyone who voted for me! And I'm really, really, really really sorry for trying to take over the world when I was younger,"she stated, grinning all the way," And I'd like to say that if anyone tries to hurt Earth or the colonies, boom! on them!....." she continued for about twenty more mintues, giving her speech as Heero's legs began to feel numb from sitting cross-legged on the floor. As he stood up to stetch, Marimaya leaped onto his back again and hung from his neck.

"(sigh) I don't have to be a horse again, do I?" he asked as Marimaya climbed to his shoulders.

"No. You're Wing Zero now, because now I have to save the world,"she said matter-of-factly, and Heero managed a slight smirk. Marimaya began to move imaginary joysticks and let loose a few battle cries as Heero imitated his Gundam's movements as best he could.

"Ha! Die, evil terrorists! Die!" she whooped as Heero actually began to enjoy pretending
while Marimaya continued to wipe out imaginary mobile suit after imaginary mobile suit.

"Oh no,"mumbled Heero," It's Epyon." Though all he managed was a slightly more exuberant monotone voice, Marimaya squealed with delight and began to battle the evil

"Uh oh, he's slashed off my arms!" cried Marimaya. Heero felt a bit disgruntled, as Marimaya said," There's only one thing left to do-Self detonate!"

"Boom!"shouted Marimaya, and Heero fell over with Marimaya giggling all the way. She bumped her head slightly, but she didn't mind as she rolled on the floor, laughing. Heero chuckled a bit, and for a few mintues they just lied on the floor. Marimaya stood up, and grabbed Heero's hand.

"But luckily, the President ejected just in time, and now, it's time for a tea party!" she cried, and dragged Heero up the stairs to her room. Heero groaned inwardly. Tea parties were always boring, and he always had to check each and every cup before Relena drank it, after the Marimaya incident. Except for Relena's jokes, he sometimes felt that he would go insane at these functions.

Marimaya sat Heero down in a tiny chair that he could barely fit in, and put her stuffed animals in the chairs adjoining the table. She poured some 'tea', and handed Heero a tiny plastic cup.
Heero stared at it, and looked up at Marimaya.

"What...Do I do." he mumbled.

"Drink it, silly!"


"So, Vice-Foreign Minister Dorlan," She said to a stuffed bunny rabbit,"How are things with the colonies? Good, good....I don't like to brag, but did you see me blow up Epyon? It wasn't a meaningless fight, I can assure you. Oh hello Auntie Une!" she continued to a teddy bear. Heero watched the 'party' continue. He still had failed to grasp this 'tea party' concept. It was like no function he had attended. He sniffed the cup, and raised an eyebrow. Perhaps the tea was cloaked.

"So, Mister Yuy, how was your day?" asked Marimaya eagerly. Heero shrugged.

"Fine, I suppose."

"No! Say you preserved the peace! And got married to Relena!"

Heero almost choked. Marriage? To Relena? She had more important things to attend to than starting an....intimate....relationship with him, of all people.

"Er......Why?" he asked, and Marimaya sighed in disbelief.

"Because, it's obvious she likes you! And you like her, I think," she absent-mindedly took a sip of her cup, while she thought. Heero scowled.

"And how would you know this?"

" I've seen how you look at her! And how she looks at you! And beside, Duo told me that
you really, like her!" she grinned at him, and Heero felt a surge of anger flow through his veins.

"Do you believe everything....Maxwell, tells you?"Heero said evenly. Marimaya smiled in a fashion reminiscent of her guardian.

"Not everything, but I can tell when someone is lying to me. Duo wasn't lying, trust me.
But I didn't believe for a second that story he told me about Santa Claus." she went on, and smiled.

"But, if you still doubt me, why don't we analyze what you DO feel for Miss Relena?"

Heero shook his head. Being psycho-analyzed by an eight-year old was definitely not what he had in mind. However, she was using 'Lady Une's Coaxing Smile', as he had come to call it, and so he simply sighed, and nodded dumbly.


"I'll assume that was a yes. Alright, what do you feel first when you see Miss Relena?" she coaxed.

Heero thought of the first reaction, discarded it as being...inappropriate, for an eight-year old to hear (hee hee), and so went with the second reaction that came to mind.

"I seem to stop breathing, and my heart seems to...pound" he admitted, and Marimaya grinned.

"We're making progress! Now, anything else?"

"Erm......I kindof feel a bit, um, light headed. I have to remind my lungs to get oxygen."

"Good, good....Anything more?"

"Erm....Well, I feel a lightness in my chest when she laughs, and when she's sad my arms feel compelled to...hug her. And if I'm down, all she has to do is smile, and I feel....happy."

"Ooooooooo....Aw, that's so sweet."


"It is! So, I'll analyze your symptons, and see if I can reach a conclusion." Marimaya ran over to her computer, and inputted all the data into the program. Heero followed slowly, and watched her work her fingers over the keyboard furiously.

Presently, a little graphic, badly rendered, appeared on the screen.

~If you feel this way all the time, you have cardiac dyslexia. If you have these symptoms
nearby a girl or boy, you love them. Have a nice day~, and with the, the animation walked out the badly created door. Marimaya smirked at Heero.

"Told ya'."


A few days later, Heero took Marimaya to the Preventer's HQ. Letting her play 'Doom' on his sacred laptop, he waited patiently for Lady Une and Relena's return. They both walked into the office, and both smiled at Marimaya.

"Thankyou, Heero. I'll make sure you get a substantial bonus for this," said Lady Une, beaming. Heero flushed ever so slightly, and Marimaya hugged Heero tightly again before waving goodbye and walking with Lady Une out the door. Relena and Heero were left in his office.

"So......How was the conference?" asked Heero. Relena sighed.

"Boring, except for the gala. Duo is an excellent dancer, but he slipped on a banana peel and, well..." she trailed off as Duo walked past the office door, his face burning crimson, as the hallway filled with laughter. Heero chuckled a bit, as Relena rolled her eyes and failed to suppress a grin of her own. Heero moved closely to Relena and took her in his arms. Relena looked up, a bit taken aback by this unusual show of affection. Not that she was complaining, mind you.

"Heero......" she started, but Heero gently put a finger to her lips.

"Relena, I'd like to ask you something...." he murmured, as he pulled Relena even closer.


"Would you, like to....Play?" he stammered, wondering if he sounded like an idiot.

Relena smiled seductively, and pulled the former Gundam pilot into a passionate kiss.

"Love to..." she murmured.



Alright, I'm done. Please R/R, alright? Thank you.