Before hand: This is a comedy story, meant only for the sake of a good laugh. It is just here for amusement so please do not take this story seriously. I wrote this because I needed a small break after writing such a long serious-ish fic "6th Division". My other stories aren't really like this at all so don't judge based on this one if this is your first time reading one of my stories. On that note, just enjoy and laugh. Little fluff with way too much comedy and OOC characters. Mild implied sexual humor so I guess this would be more PG-16-ish. Its all in good fun
The weather was nice today, perfect for shorts and a casual shirt. I had on both currently, complete with a pair of sandals to complete my summer outfit. In one hand I held a book, reading it as I sat under a tree in the shade. Currently I was lounging on a farmer's land, but I knew the person first hand so I was sure he wouldn't mind. A gust of wind made my ponytail flare out in front of me, covering the pages that I was trying to read. I really should cut my hair, but I left it long because she liked it that way. It was a small price to pay to keep her amused, at least I think so.
"Guess who?" Nanoha asked, cupping her hand around Yuuno's eyes from behind. The girl kneeled down, keeping them covered incase he decided to peek.
"That's an obvious question," Yuuno laughed. "Let's see, your hands smell like peaches and are a little sticky, so I guess you've eaten some recently. Aaand, your giggle is original and cute, a little high pitched…"
"Mou, come on guess already!" She protested happily.
"No!" Nanoha removed her hands and bopped him on the head. "I'm going to cry now."
"No you're not, come here." He reached behind himself and pulled the girl around into his lap, sitting her between his legs. "What are you doing all the way out here, Nanoha?"
"Farmer Elk called me up and said that I could have all the peaches I could carry if I helped him pick some today." She leaned back against his chest and allowed his arms to wrap around her waist. "So I agreed, we've been picking all day long. What are you doing here?"
"Reading. At least I was until an overly hyper girl blinded me and made my glasses sticky with peach juice."
"Oh shush." Nanoha moved slightly, reaching back to pluck the glasses from his face and hold them up to the light. "Oh hey, I guess I did." Bringing them to her mouth, she exhaled on them lightly, fogging the lens just enough so she could wipe them off on her summer dress. After repeating the process three times she was satisfied with them, but put them on her own face instead. One of her hands reached over to the side and picked up his disregarded book, flipping to a random page and trying to read it. "Oh wow, you're pretty darn blind."
"No, you're just abnormally far sighted." He snatched the glasses from her face teasingly and replaced them over his eyes. "Go ahead, read." His hands went on top of hers, holding the book the average length away from her face. "Start anywhere.
"Um…" She blushed lightly, trying to make out the words. "Haseo…where are you right now?...Can you log out?" Her body pressed harder against his, trying to gain some distance from herself and the book.
"Keep going, don't stop." He smiled as her hands started pushing the book away from herself. Once it was at arms length she picked up easily, reading the book to him for a good five minutes before stopping and looking over her shoulder at him.
"What is this book about anyway?"
"It's hard to explain," he admitted, flipping it closed and putting it beside them once again. "So, are you done for the day?"
"Yes, but I think I'm going to go with him to his farmer's stand and try to help sell some of the things he harvested. The really busy hours are right after lunch." Nanoha leaned back against him comfortably despite her words. "Although I could go for a nap right now."
"Go ahead, when do you want to be woken up?"
Nanoha shifted so her back was against him fully, resting her head under his chin and against his shoulder. "I dunno, half an hour?"
"You got it." He picked up his book once more and flipped through it, amused at her taking a deep breath before getting comfortable. The wind blew her hair across the pages but for some reason he didn't mind it as much as his own. Not two minutes passed before the girl in his lap nodded off, snoring softly against him. If it was one thing that made him think that the girl was 'cute' it definitely had to be her sleeping habits. For as long as he could remember, Nanoha wouldn't so much as snore but moan in her sleep when she exhaled.
The time passed by slowly as he enjoyed rubbing his girlfriend's stomach through the light fabric of her dress while reading. Every now and then she would shift to try and get more comfortable but always ended up going back to the same position against him. His chapter was finished shortly and after checking his watch, realized that he had let her sleep for almost an hour. "Wakey-wakey," He told her, lightly shaking the girl. "Your nap is officially over, Nanoha."
"I dun wanna wake up," She mused, opening one eye to look up at him. "You're comfortable."
"Thank you, but you have something you wanted to do today right?" His chest instantly felt cooler when she moved to lean forward, rubbing her eyes. Instinctively he pinched the front of his shift and fanned it out a few times to keep it from sticking to him since Nanoha pressed on him for so long.
"Want to come along?" She asked him as she stood, dusting off her back side right in front of him before offering her hand to help him up.
"Sure, why not?" He took the offered hand and moved to his feet.
"Mou, learn to clean yourself," She slapped the dirt off him playfully.
"I'm as clean as ever!"
"You and I have a very different definition of clean, mister tomb explorer. You bathe in sand, I swear." She gave his butt a pinch, just to giggle at his sudden jump and blush. "Come on, Yuu-chan," Her arm looped through his and she held onto it as they began to walk. "And when we're done, carry some peaches for me? We can eat some later tonight?"
"Sure, sure," He smiled down at her, walking along with the cheerful girl down the orchid. "I guess Elk-san is going to town today to sell?"
"Yuppers, he should be loading his truck about right now." She pointed in the distance. "Ah, see?"
"Not really, I wear glasses you know." He moved to the side to avoid a jab to the ribs. "Hey now, don't hurt me. I'm not covered for insurance."
"Shamal will make an exception," Nanoha tried again but was dodged. A third time and Yuuno ducked under her, grabbing her waist and slinging her over his shoulder and carrying her as she cried out to be let down.
"Doesn't seem like many people like peaches around here?" Yuuno slid his hands into his pockets as he watched people walk around the farmer's market. "That's odd, I think peaches outsell most anything else according to the reviews and sales records on the-"
"Is there anything you don't know?" Nanoha asked, rolling her eyes. "I swear you'd give breaking news on a carrot if someone asked."
"Did you know carrots were originally black?"
"No way, really?" She suddenly shook her head. "See what I mean!?" Despite it she couldn't help but laugh. "But really, this is odd." Nanoha put both her hands on her hips and puffed out her cheeks in annoyance. "I worked so hard to pick them today too."
"It's just that all the younger farmers have some fancy thing to attract people to their stands," Elk sighed out, sitting on a rocking chair next to his stand. "There really is no place for an old man like me." He adjusted his cowboy style hat with one hand.
"Don't say that, we just need to attract some people is all." Yuuno looked around. "Have anything we could use?"
"Just my son's old guitar in the truck," He pointed to the vehicle and watched Yuuno take it out. "Can you play sonny?"
"Yup," Yuuno started tuning the old acoustic guitar. "I sure can."
"Since when?" His girlfriend crossed her arms. "You're too busy to play an instrument."
"Says you. I read books."
"Reading a book won't teach you how to play."
"But fifty or sixty will," He started to strum the strings and sat in front of the stand, singing rather loudly. "Oh-whoa-oh-ohhhh-whoa-oh-oh! Uptown girl! She's been living in her uptown world. I bet she never had a back street guy. I bet her mama never told her why."
Nanoha blushed darkly, trying to hide herself by putting her hand over her face. "Oh my god…"
Yuuno smiled brightly at the people walking by, hitting his strings a little harder and singing a bit louder to catch their attention. "I'm gonna try for an uptown girl! She's been living in her white bread world. As long as anyone with hot blood can, and now she's looking for a downtown man! That's what I am!"
Several people started to come over and watch the young man playing away and singing happily, obviously not being embarrassed. Yuuno stood up and walked over to Nanoha while playing, putting his back against hers and grinning like an idiot. "And when she knoooows what she waaaants from her tye-yai-yai-ime! And when she wakes up, and makes up her my-yai-yai-ind!" He spun around her and walked over to the peach stand, motioning for people to have a look with the end of his guitar while he sang.
"I'm going to die of embarrassment…" Nanoha tried to hide again when people started realizing that she was the flying ace of the military that so constantly appears on the news.
"Is that Nanoha-san?" A voice suddenly asked, making the girl gasp out when Subaru and Tia appeared. "It is! Her and her boyfriend are singing!" Nanoha blushed darker as Yuuno rubbed against her side, still singing.
"I can't believe you did that," Nanoha finally said as they helped load up the boxes and crates back onto Elk's truck. "You embarrassed five years off of my life."
"Hey, you sang too." Yuuno countered happily.
"I didn't have a choice when you looked at me like that in the middle of a song!" She sighed out when the last object was loaded and the tailgate of the truck was closed. "I'm never going to hear the end of this…"
"Oh cheer up, we have a supply of peaches to last a month," Yuuno nodded over to the almost full wooden basket of peaches. "Be thankful."
"I suppose." Nanoha picked one up and bit into it, licking the juice that spilled out onto her lips and chin. "Yummy."
"You kids need a ride home?" Elk asked them as he finished up his business and walked over to them. "Not much room in the old truck but it's better than walking."
"Thank you, we'd like that very much." Nanoha bowed lightly. "It would be hard to carry those with me anyway… are you sure its okay if we take so many?"
"Just be sure an' eat them before they go bad." Elk nodded at them and crawled into his truck. "Come on, in you kids go."
"I'll ride in the back," Yuuno hopped into the truck's bed and sat down before starting to play the guitar again.
"Too windy for me," The brown headed girl chose to instead hop into the cab and make small talk with her friend until they were at the base again. Once free they hauled their day's work prize up to Nanoha's room, mostly thanks to Yuuno carrying the basket and Nanoha supporting him with words. The door to her loft opened without complaint and the pair walked into the dark room. "Guess Fate-chan isn't back yet," she mused absently while her boyfriend deposited their spoils on the kitchen counter. "Must be working late… Wow, it's almost nine."
"That's Fate for you," He grinned while leaning against the kitchen counter and watching Nanoha cut on the lights before walking over to him. "So now what Miss Peach queen?"
"Will you make me stuff?" She asked happily, placing both hands on his chest and giving him a puppy dog look. "Peach upside down cake perhaps? Maybe peach melba?" She ran a finger up his chest. "Or maybe both?"
He sighed. "You can cook too, you know."
"Yeah but you're so good at it!" She protested. "You've read 'fifty or sixty' cook books as well, I know! And the girls at the library make you cook for them too! Come on, I'm jealous!"
"They think I'm gay, I can't help it." Yuuno rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Although I constantly tell them we're dating…"
"Its okay, chicks dig gay guys." Nanoha leaned up against him. "But if it'll make you feel better about it, I'll make it worth your time?" Her hand dropped lower, making Yuuno blush darkly. "Sooooo?" She smiled.
"Um, yeah, okay," The male looked away, obviously blushing.
"We have time before Fate-chan gets home…" Nanoha grinned up at him devilishly. "You wanna…?" Her sentence trailed off, arching an eyebrow at him.
"Come on!" He grabbed her and happily led the laughing girl up to her bedroom quickly, losing her clothes along the way. The pair fell onto the bed and started kissing frantically, Nanoha gasping out when she lost her panties and saw them being tossed across the room. In return she ripped off his shirt and started nipping at his neck, not holding back her moans when his hands went to work on her.
"Uh…wha…?" A sound next to them made the couple stop dead in their tracks. The lump curled against the wall they thought was a pillow suddenly moved, revealing Fate's sleepy figure. The blond looked at them a moment while waking up before suddenly gasping and pressing herself against the wall in an attempt to get away from them "Oh my god!"
"Hi Fate-chan," Nanoha greeted, as if this was nothing new. "Sorry, thought you were working late."
"No, I'm home early because I'm sleepy!" She glared. "Nanohaaaaa, not again! I sleep in this bed too!"
The naked girl grabbed Yuuno when he tried to pull away and held onto him. "It's my bed too."
"But don't have sex on it! Specially with me in it!"
"If you want to join in that bad you could just ask." She smiled happily at her.
"Nanoha…" Yuuno sweated lightly. "I should go…?"
"No way, I'm in the mood." She pulled him down into a kiss and rocked her hips up towards him.
Fate went silent, watching the two a moment longer before blushing darkly and turning her gaze. When weird sounds started picking up again she cried out to them. "Nanohaaaaa!"
The brown haired girl sighed out. "If you're not going to join in, could you sleep on the couch please?" She gave her friend a look. "I don't mind sharing, but make up your mind before I go nuts?"
"…." Fate looked over at Yuuno a moment before looking back at Nanoha. "…Fine." She crawled out from under the covers and over to the end of the bed. Just when Yuuno thought the girl was going to leave he found himself being pulled off his girlfriend and then Fate above him. "But I get to go first."
"No way, I'm first!" Nanoha instantly protested, jumping on her.
Yuuno watched the two girls wrestle around a moment before he felt himself be grabbed by both of them. "Am I in heaven…?"
"Not yet," Nanoha cooed. "But give us five minutes," She grinned at him darkly. "and we'll see what we can come up with."
- Yuuno's song is "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel. It's a fun song, and if Yuuno had an english dubbed voice, it would be this guy's.
-"Peachy Keen": The title of a 'Good Eats' Episode, and also the influence for this corny fic.
-Peaches symbolize things erotic, are also a symbol of virginity, and are also used in the practice of exercising demons (depending on which country you're in).
-Peach Melba: The most famous of all peach recipes, created by the famous chef Auguste Escoffier to honour Dame Nellie Melba. Poached peaches ( grilled a bit then smothered in a vanilla-sugar sauce and then let steep) with a raspberry sauce. It's really good, specially if you add in ice cream and maybe a sprig of mint!
-Peach upside down cake: crystalized ginger, brown sugar,a little butter, thinly sliced peaches covered in a cake-ish type batter and baked in an oven. Add a little ice cream ad eat hot.
-Farmer Elk: Taken from 6th Division, a farmer that Nanoha met when she first came to Midchildra and made friends with. He's her peach crack dealer.
-Yuuno's Book: surprise, surprise. He's reading .Hack GU. Never would have guessed coming from me would you?
-Carrots were orignially black: It's true. they were also purple. They were altered to be orange at some point either to apply more to one's eye or to honor the new government that used the color orange alot. Put simply.
-Dedicated to Jena-su, who likes peaches but doesn't like 'Good Eats'.