Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with BTVS or Stargate.

Notes: Inspired by my Aunt and cousin's cats who have the same names though they don't look the same. Written for the lj sg/btvs weekly challenge #4.

Spoilers: Sometime after Vala joins the team, sorry only seen through S9 and bits and pieces of 10.

Warning: Femslash, if that's going to bother you please don't read.

Annoying Daniel in Three Easy Steps:

Step One: Distract the girlfriend.

Vala looked down as a sharp yowl erupted from the pet carrier in her hand. She smirked as she slipped into Nyan's empty office and set the carrier down.

She peeked at the two kittens inside, "Now you two quiet down and you'll be playing with your Uncle Daniel soon enough."

Ying, a small whitish kitten with blue eyes meowed at her while Yang, a darkish somewhere between gray and black, batted at his brother's tail.

"Soon," she promised, before she headed to the office she shared with her girlfriend.

Tara was asleep on the couch and once again Vala was happy she'd insisted on it, even if they had their own quarters on base. She shook Tara awake gently. Tara yawned, blinked her eyes opened and smiled, "Hi, you're back."

Vala snorted, "Last time I visit that planet. Cameron wants to go again, he can do it all on his own."

"When did you get back?"

"Last night."

Tara sat up with a slight frown, "What time is it?"

"Morning," Vala smiled then tapped Tara on the nose, "I peeked in, but you looked so peaceful I just let you sleep."

Usually Vala was very good about prying her girlfriend away from her work, but there would have been no brining in their cats if she had.

"Now," Vala continued, "why don't you get cleaned up and then we'll have breakfast together."

Tara nodded, kissed her forehead and then was headed out the door. Vala watched her go and as soon as Tara had turned the corner she headed back to Nyan's office. Thankfully it was his day off and he wouldn't be there to throw a hitch in her plan.

She picked up the carrier and took it back to her office, stashing it in a drawer after she told the kittens to keep quiet. She grinned and rubbed her hands together, so far so good.

She started a pot of coffee and had a cup ready for Tara when she returned from her shower. Tara thanked her and took a sip before she informed Vala, "You're up to something."

"I am not, I'm perfectly innocent," Vala teased.

Tara shook her head with a playful smile, "Perfectly innocent?"

"Hmmm," Vala thought about it for a moment, "yep, so breakfast?"

"Breakfast sounds so good right now."

Vala waited till they were halfway down the hall, "Drat, forgot my coffee."

Tara smirked that one-sided smile, "See you when you get there?"

"Exactly," Vala told her. She gave Tara a quick kiss then headed back to their office. After making sure Tara hadn't followed she took the kittens from the carrier. She walked purposely down the hall, nodding and smiling to anyone she saw. When she got near Daniel's office she backed against the wall, moved over slowly and then peeked inside. Typical, he was at his desk working and after the night they'd had too. Well she's show him. She held the two kittens up so that they could see their prey and then let them lose. Smiling she went to go join her girlfriend.

Step Two: Let the prank unfold.

Daniel yawned and took off his glasses to rub his eyes. He resisted the urge to look at the clock to see how long he'd been working and resolved to get more coffee when he finished translating the page he was on. He put his glasses back on and began rifling through his notes.

He jumped up and let out a startled scream as something pounced on his back and something else began clawing its way up his pant leg. He reached around towards his back and got yowled at for his troubles. Cats?

He sat and tugged at the shape half up his calf. He reached into his pant let and pulled out a kitten, Ying. Vala, of course. The kitten meowed at him and began to lick his fingers. He set it on his notebook.

"Dr. Jackson are you..." trailed off into a stifled laugh, "Sorry sir."

Ying meowed at him plaintively as Yang made his way to Daniel's shoulder and perched there.

"I'm fine," Daniel managed as he flushed. He turned and smiled at the officer that had tried to come to his rescue, "I think I can handle these two, sorry for startling you."

The officer nodded and left. Yang nipped at his ear. Daniel sighed and turned back to Yang who meowed and gave him a patent 'pay attention to me now' look. He shook his head and told the kitten, "Jack was right, at least dogs don't try to claw up your leg."

Yang shuffled over to his other shoulder as Ying jumped into his lap. Daniel couldn't help the bemused smile that crossed his face. He scratched Ying behind the ears and the kitten purred, turning into his hand.

"Fine, you can stay, but let me get some work done."

Ying pounced on his hand as Daniel tried to take it back, "Okay you can have the hand."

He moved his other arm to begin looking at his notes again and Yang responded by trying to crawl down it. He shook his head, he wasn't going to get any work down with these two demanding his attention. He scooped Yang off his shoulder, took Ying in his arms and set off to Vala's and Tara's office.

He frowned when he got there, it was empty and the light was off. He set the kittens on the couch and looked around from the carrier. All he found was a fresh half empty pot of coffee. He sniffed it experimentally and decided Vala had made it. He set it down, he much preferred the coffee that Tara made. Careful to avoid the kittens he dropped onto the couch. Ying pounced into his lap and bumped into Daniel's hand with his head. Yang meowed, jumped into Daniel's lap and tried to crawl up his shirt.

"Okay, okay," Daniel conceded as he stretched out on the couch, placing the two kittens on his chest and began to pet them. In no time at all he'd fallen asleep.

Step Three: Gloat

"No, you're up to something. I'm almost certain of it," Tara told her girlfriend as they headed back to their office.

"Who me?" Val asked trying to sound offended.

"No," Tara laughed, "Never you."

They paused inside the doorway as they took in Daniel asleep on their couch two kittens curled up and napping on his chest. Vala grinned. Tara laughed, "You did a good thing."

"See that's the thing I love about you. Most peopled would be all 'oh no there's a Daniel on our couch', but not you, you appreciate these things and my effort I might add."

Tara smiled, "Well he works too hard. He got back when you did didn't he?"

Vala nodded, "He did."

"And he probably worked all night too."

"I know someone else who worked all night," Vala pointed out with a pout.

Tara blushed, "Yes well, I'm trying to finish typing up the contract with the Unas miners, you know they finally just developed their own written language and want it in both Unas and English. I'm almost done."

"Still should've come home last night."

"If I did would there still be a Daniel on our couch?"

"Good point. Now lets wake him up."

"What? No," Tara laughed as she began to cover Daniel with a blanket, "Let the poor man sleep."

"Fine, spoil my fun."

Yang opened his eyes and then yawned at them. Then he took matters into his own hands and pounced onto Daniel's face with a loud meow. Daniel jumped, swatting at the kitten instinctually. Vala snatched him off Daniel's face, "Don't hurt my baby."

Daniel blinked up at her then glanced over at Tara, "Hey guys."

"Hey yourself, trying to hurt my Yang."

"He startled me!"

"He just a little kitten," Vala informed him, holding out the kitten, "what harm could he possibly managed."

"A lot. He could have ruined any of my artifacts."

"But he didn't did he? He just missed his Uncle Daniel so much, didn't you?" Vala changed tactics asking the kitten, then telling it, "Yes, you did very good getting him away from his musty old books."

Ying meowed as if to say 'don't forget me'.

"You too," Vala amended, as she petted the other kitten.

Daniel threw Vala a look of annoyance, "Could you please get him off of me?"

"No," Vala told him, as she set the other kitten on him as well.


"Now, don't disappoint them. I had to sneak them in here, and then into your office just so they could see you. They missed you."

"They attacked me!"

"Only because you're no fun."

Daniel grabbed hold of the kittens and sat up, "Ying tried to claw his way up my pant leg!"

"Well at least someone's trying to get into your pants."

Daniel rolled his eyes, "And don't get me started on Yang."

"He still obsessed with sitting on your shoulders?" Tara asked.

Vala and Daniel both closed their mouths, as they'd both been about ready to start arguing again. Daniel nodded.

"He jump on your back?" Tara continued.

Daniel nodded.

Tara smiled and took the kittens from him, and began to place them back in their carrier as she'd found where Vala had hidden it.

"Isn't it supposed to be you're day off?"

"Yes and I'm almost done."

Tara raised an eyebrow, "No you are, go home get some sleep, you can finish tomorrow."

Daniel yawned, "That might be a good idea."

Tara nodded and saw him out the door. When she was gone she turned to Vala, "And you?"

"And me what?"

"You just love winding him up don't you?" Tara asked with a fond smile.

"Well how else am I supposed to get any fun around here?"

Tara laughed and kissed her. The kittens meowed for attention.