What Goes Through The Mind Of Sirius Black

Warning! This also contains serious, yes Sirius, random events. I do NOT own Harry Potter, I am NOT JKR, and I am NOT a GIRL!

Stage 5…Clumsiness

Another week gone, another weekend where I can sleep in as long as I like-

"SIRIUS BLACK!" came a loud yell from the one and only 'best mate' James Potter.

Okay maybe not as long as I liked, but what have I done now? Guess I should get out of bed. But this time I have to remember to-








-to remember the door opens inwardly, so I wouldn't WHAM! into it, then SMASH! BANG! SLAM! THUMP! down the stairs and CRASH! into James who was standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Sirius get off me," said James through gritted teeth.

"Thanks for savin' me fall Prongs."

James got up and checked if he had broken any bones, "No 'problem' Pad."

Now that I'm up, I better get some breakfast, "TO BREAKFAST!"

"Sirius you have to-" yelled James, though he was too late.




"-step up to get out of the Portrait Hole."

"Hey Prongs, have you seen-wow!" said Remus looking around the messy Common Room, "Pad has been here hasn't he?"

Ow, now I have to try and get up…wait…they're talking about me! "I can hear you, you know!"

"He just fell out of the Portrait Hole again, didn't he?" asked Remus.

James nodded.

Finally, I'm up now breakfast time! "Come on Prongs!"

James sighed, "I better go with him, keep him out of trouble."

Remus nodded, "Good idea, I'll go help Peter with his…homework."

"You just don't want to be near Padfoot," James laughed.

They seem to talk forever, hurry up…

"I rather keep me two feet on the ground-" Remus' words were cut short by an ear-splitting scream.


Hey, let's see if I can walk backwards with my eyes closed!

"Pad watch out for the-"



He could of told me earlier their was a suit of armor behind.

Stage 6… Girls

I'm so bored…


Okay! I'll find something to do! So first, let's see what I can do. Well, I'm sitting under a tree by the lake, the giant squid is nowhere to be seen, James is next to me playing with that goddamn snitch, there's some hot girls looking at us and giggling from the other side of the lake, Remus is reading a book, Peter is doing who knows what…wait…go back one.

Remus is reading a book?

No! Go back one more.

There's some hot girls looking at us and giggling from the other side of the lake.


We're playing bingo now?

Shut up brain.


Hot girls here we come! "Are you coming Prongs?"

"Where?" said James, not taking an eye off the snitch that was buzzing around his head.

"There's a bunch of hot girls at two o'clock."

"It's two o'clock already?" asked Peter looking at his watch confused.

Shut up Peter, go be confused somewhere else.

James did a strange twist and caught the snitch, "Nah."

"Lily's there."

That'll get him up.

James sat up fast, "Lily Evans?"

No, the Lily from next door, of course Lily Evans. "Yes Prongs, Lily Evans."

James stood up, "Well what are you waiting for Pad?"

A nice roast chicken, with golden crispy chips- "Wait for me Prongs!"

Around the other side of the Lake…

Wow, these girls look like…like, playboy bunnies with bleach blonde hair, except Evans, with her bright red hair; well actually, it's more of a brown. And what's funny about Evans is, she told me herself, that she likes James and all, but she likes watching James make a fool of himself in front of her.

"What's so funny Pad?" James said, staring from me to the girls that were only a couple of meters away.

Only if you knew. "Nothing, mate." Now pat him on the back so he won't find anything suspicious about it.

"What are you up to Pad?" James asked a little scared.

Maybe it was hit him over the head and he won't find anything suspicious about it.

"Sirius what are you doing?" said Lily Evans sweet voice.


Put your hand down Sirius.

Shut up br- oh, quick cover it up.

"Just stretching." Good, got out of that one with only a weird look. Sirius 1, Brain 8, oh damn! Out of the nine times I've used it, it's only lost once. "So what are you up to Lily?"

"I-" Lily stopped when she looked at James and tried to hold back her giggling.

James, not again. Better elbow him. "James you're drooling again-" Is that?

Now Sirius, remember what-

"Sorry, Lily, I have some...um…business to attend to." That'll just about cover it. Now stand up tall and strut!

"Sirius watch-" said Lily's voice, though her like everyone else was too late.


You should have listen to me.

Shut up!

Is that me or is James laughing at you?

He would do nothing of the- He is laughing at me so are all the girls, I'll just sink and die.

A day later…

"Hey Sirius."

Was that just me or was that just one of the most hottest girls in the school? It was, she just said 'Hey Sirius' to me, I feel…loved.

"I'm glad you think so Mr. Black, but you're in potions now and I'd like you to pay attention," said the professor.

Damn! Not again! "Was I whispering in my sleep again?"

James nodded, then whispered, "Yeah, you said 'I feel loved'."


Stage 7… Short attention span

Okay, first I need to heat up the pot then cut up the roots and beans before adding them and-

Hey it's a squirrel!

Come on Sirius, you promised me we would get good marks without getting distracted.

Yeah, whatever.

Now stir it counter-clockwise and-

Another squirrel!

"SIRIUS NO!" Remus yelled

What did I do now? "Huh?"

"Leave him alone Remus," said James.

What did I do?

"If he put in that Lacewing Fly, which isn't even mentioned in the book, he would of blown us all up," said Remus outraged.

Cool! Blown up, he he.

James started to laugh.

"It's no laughing matter, Prongs," reassured Remus.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black," shrieked the professor, "detention. Maybe you should join Mr. Lupin."

Moony in trouble? You have to be joking.

We'll you got him in-

Hey look it's raining.

Well it is.

Another A in Potions this year.

In detention…

This time we are not going to sit next to a window.

Why not?

Because I said.

You're only my brain, you can't tell me what to do. I'm sitting next to a window like I always do.

Well you better do what you're suppose to.

Writing the a hundred times is easy.

Without getting distracted?

Without getting distracted.

Milliseconds later…

Look! The giant squid has that guy's bag.

Sirius pay attention.

HA! Now the squid has the guy.

That's it I'm leaving! opening of a door, fading footsteps, closing of a door.

Hello? Brain?

no answer

Yes he's- hey it's a bug.

Stage 8…There is no stage 8. Well sorry guys run out of idea's.

I would have loved to write more, but I really did run out of ideas. Maybe I could put these 7 stages into a story. Just add a lot more into it. R&R and tell me if I should make a story out of the seven stages, one in each year if I must. I did NOT do the seven years/stages one purpose, really I didn't.