AN- this chap is dedicated to Razzi. I lover you babes forever and always!
Standard Disclaimer Applies
Chapter 1. – Be Safe
I had just been released from my few intense months spent in Sergeant Swan's disciplinary camp for rebellious teens. Namely, myself. It had been a tedious occasion in which the only climax had been my grades, which had improved dramatically. I realized my mistake only after I got my grades back. I had set a precedent. I hoped I hadn't given Charlie incentive to reinstate his punishment of solitary confinement, if ever my grades declined.
After discovering my taste for extreme sports Charlie had forbidden me every privilege I had ever desired. I was finding my original sentence difficult to deal with as it was; severely grounded, trapped inside the house -with school and work the only exceptions- combined with designated visiting hours. However, after Charlie discovered my nearing on psychotic death wish, visiting hours were decreased radically to a total of zero hours a day. I wished I could explain to my father that he need not worry anymore. That my lonesome, heart-broken, insanity was nothing more than a bad dream which would never be relived. But of course I couldn't. Even if I did he wouldn't understand.
Thankfully Edward was by my side whenever possible. He snuck in through my bedroom window every night, and thanks to his inhumane senses and abilities, was never caught. There was never a night I didn't feel the warmth of Edward beside me, which made my discipline tolerable. Well, almost.
Whilst Edwards presence held my sorrow at bay, every long moment I spent without him ripped at my heart like a pack of ravenous wolves. Wolves. That word haunted me mockingly. One could only describe them as terrifying, lovable, ferocious, caring, protectors, as contradictory as that sounds. In my darkest hours Jacob had been the one to comfort me, protect me, and the only person who could make me smile. When Edward returned Jacob swiftly departed from my life, and when his absence didn't sting, it left me numb. I could feel a hole puncturing me right through the depths of my stomach. Of course it was easier than Edwards disappearance had been but all the same… Jacob was a part of me, that I was unwillingly being forced to leave behind.
At first I was angry. How could Jacob do this to me? I always told him I only thought of him as a friend, as a brother. He knew my heart was to broken to love another. It shouldn't have surprised him that I would return to the only person who made me feel whole, vampire or not.
But I cannot maintain my anger towards Jacob. I know he must hurt as much as I do. I know he can't fight who, or rather what he is. I was selfishly asking him to abandon all that he believed in as a werewolf. Who was I to ask that of him? My logic, or lack there of, was distressed and irrational. I guess you can't have everything.
Now that I was free from the chains of authority Edwards's presence was a constant as the rain here in gloomy old forks. Quite literally, considering the sunshine bought about Edward's rare absences, which left me lonelier than I could stomach. Understandably, I was quite derailed after my conversation with Edward outlining his plans for the upcoming weekend.
Alice, Edward and I had taken our usual seats at the schools dreary cafeteria. I, as usual, was the only one bearing a tray of food. However Edwards's appetite was soon to be discussed.
"I'm afraid you, dear Bella have almost indirectly exhausted the wildlife in modest Forks," Edward began, chuckling. My heart fluttered as his mouth stretched into the endearing lopsided smile I loved. I didn't catch on at first, but then…
I sighed. "I assume you're traveling then?" I asked resigned. I studied his eyes, nearly coal black today. How inconvenient it was that I should smell so appetizing. Well, to a vampire anyway.
His smile was sympathetic as he explained; "Alice predicts an unusually fine weekend ahead so it's probably a good opportunity for us to go…camping," he faltered grinning.
"Probably," I agreed, twisting the lid off my soda and taking a swig to hide my disappointment, but I didn't fool him. He tilted my face up towards him with a loving hand that lingered under my chin.
"I'll be back by Monday. I promise," his sincerity made it hard to be miserable about the whole situation. However that inability dissolved just seconds after Edward left my side. It was my first weekend I was free from the prison my house had become and Edward wasn't going to be there to celebrate it with me. Conversation was strained as he drove me home from school that Friday afternoon as neither of us was looking forward to being separated. He left me standing alone by my door, with nothing but his kiss lingering on my lips, and his desperate plea for me to "Be Safe".
With the entire Cullen family gone my mood plummeted to bleak depression. I didn't even have Alice to keep me company. But I understood and accepted that Edward had to grasp this opportunity to quench his eternal thirst. Then it struck me…Opportunity! I had one as well! My future family had left for two days. There was nothing to stop me seeing my best friend!
I hadn't heard from Jacob since we said goodbye. I had tried to continue our relationship but my efforts were bluntly rejected. The last message I had sent to Jacob was sent via Billy, his father. It was a plain white envelope containing the profit made on my bike after Charlie sold it. After all, it was Jacobs's time and expertise that had saved the wretched thing from going straight to the dump. Four words were written clearly on the inside on the envelope. I could not tell him how much I loved him, how much I missed him or how much he meant to me. All of this he already knew. I had written four very painful words expressing my sorrowful resignation; letting him no I would bother him no more.
I felt guilty. Even though I knew I was safe around Jacob I knew Edward wouldn't see it that way. He would be horrified that I had instantly strayed to hang around with a pack of quick-tempered wolves. But he would just have to understand. I picked up the phone and dialed Jacobs number eagerly, unsure if he even dared answer it anymore. Regardless, I would was going to La Push tomorrow.