Disclaimer: I don't own square….except a lot of shiny round things…what do you mean, they aren't real money?!?!?!?!
Warning: This is a challenge set for me by my best friend/cousin. He asked me if I could write a FFVIII fic with no definitive pairing…this is the result. So in the end, it might be yaoi, it might not be. Just enjoy the reading, right?
Ever notice that the things that you most want to forget seem to be the things that you tend to remember the clearest? I discovered this a long time ago, when I wanted to forget my first kiss. And my first boyfriend. And my first time. Unlike most people, or like too many, I just wanted to forget, to be left alone, away from these haunting memories that plague my thoughts, my dreams my every waking moment.
But why? Aren't these supposed to be some of a teenager's fondest memories? It's a pity that they didn't really happen when I was a teenager. I was so young when they all happened. My first kiss happened when I was only six years old, but I still remember it as if it happened yesterday. It is one of my earliest memories, even after all these years of abuse the Guardian Forces. It is one memory that has stood out in my mind even after all these years.
The warm spring breeze tossed my already messy hair, the only sound that I could hear was the melodic sound of the ocean waves crashing upon the sandy white shores of our private little beach.
The ocean. So vast and endless, I couldn't even begin to think of all the times that I would lay here at sunset and dream about going far away, somewhere beyond where my eyes are able to see. But now that the dream is about to become reality, I can't think of another place where I want to spend the rest of my life.
Picking up a handful of the grainy white sand, I opened my palm to allow the wind to pick up each grain and take it to some place new, beyond the sea. Tomorrow all this will be gone. I felt like crying, emotions overflowing, but I just couldn't find the tears.
Hearing someone approach me from behind, I leaned back, burying my hands into the warm sand.
"So, this is where you've been hiding." The unmistakable voice said, coming from the direction of the orphanage. "Matron has been looking for you. She's real worried."
I could only find it in me to shrug, a little mad that my moments of serenity at the seashore have been interrupted.
"Are you going to miss this place? Everyone, everything?" He questioned, trying as hard as me not to show his emotions. My companion didn't wait didn't wait for an invitation before sitting beside me. Whether or not I wanted to admit it, I have always felt better when he was around. And I have no idea why.
"I don't know." I whispered, truly not knowing my feelings on this matter.
"I'm not. I think that the only thing that I will miss is this." Was his cryptic reply.
"What?" An automatic answer fell from my lips before I could even think about what I was saying.
"This. Us sitting out here at sunset. Only you and me. None of those other brats annoying us. Do you think that there is a chance that we will be sent to places that are close to each other?" that one question showed me that he was sharing my insecurities about leaving tomorrow. To think that Matron was shipping all of us away tomorrow made me already miss the only home and family that I have ever known. And more than that, miss these special times with him.
"I don't know. I wonder if it will be close to the ocean." I voiced my only thought of the moment as he wrapped his small arm around my equally small shoulders.
He let out a breathless laugh, but I wasn't sure what was so funny. "I never thought that you'd be what I'd miss the most from these humble beginnings." He spoke with a wisdom that was beyond his young years. I guess being orphaned at a young age in the middle of a major war like all of us here have been, it makes you grow up so much faster then you should.
"It's okay to miss something." I whispered, looking into his clear eyes. Were those tears that I saw there? No, they couldn't be.
Before I knew what was happening, I felt his lips pressed firmly against my own. So this is a kiss. I knew that this is what Mr. Kramer always did to Matron when she wanted some comfort. Not knowing what else to do, I wrapped my arms around him, causing our lips to press together even harder than before. There was just something that felt so right about this embrace. I don't know what made me do it, but something motivated me to part my lips and dared to poke my tongue out to touch his lips. For some reason I just wanted to feel him, taste him, know that even just for another few hours he is still there, real and I can forget that after tomorrow I quite possibly will never see him again. He never stopped amazing me. Never. Not once. He'd always do the last thing that you'd expect him to do. And I was sure that this would be another one of those times. He didn't disappoint me.
He opened his mouth, granting both me and my tongue access to the unexplored depths of those forbidden territories. In a completely natural motion, his tongue darted out to greet mine. I was entranced. This felt so good, and once he started to rub his tongue against mine, it only started to feel even better. It reminded me of that movie that Matron always likes to watch when she thought that we were all asleep. The one with all the mushy kissing and stuff. I guess it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been. Maybe he had been watching them without letting anyone else know. I know that I liked doing it better than I like watching it.
His arms around my shoulders tightened as his tongue tried to touch and cover every inch of my mouth, rubbing against my tongue, teeth, cheeks, everything and anything. I'll never forget what he tasted like though. A mixture of honey and blueberries. The flavour was intoxicating, and I couldn't help but try and drink up as much as possible before I had to give up the taste. I never wanted this moment to end as we sat there for who knows how long, aware of only each other in the long forgotten sunset.
My body felt some tingles go through out it as he began to run his hand through my hair, trying as hard as I was to keep as much physical contact between us as possible. All I could do was to move my hands from around his shoulder to clasp behind his neck, resulting in the entire fronts of out bodies to press against one another. My heart started to beat faster and faster with every parting moment, leaving me addicted to the emotions I was feeling. The sound of blood rushing through my veins, audible only to me, was as deafening as a waterfall, but I didn't want it to change, I only wanted to stay locked in the familiarity of his embrace forever. To not leave tomorrow to never see him again. But was power does a six year old have against Matron?
This thought marked the end of my happiness as he slid his tongue back into his own mouth and closed his lips to me. I let out a whimper, a sound that I could only describe as longing, wanting and refusal to accept our impending separation tomorrow.
A soft smile grazed his features as he placed a chaste kiss on my already kiss swollen lips, still holding me tightly in his arms.
"Did you have to stop?" I whispered, a traitorous tear finding its way out of the corner of my eye and onto my flushed cheek.
"Don't worry, Koneko, No one is around to see you cry." His lips still formed a sad smile almost make me want to break down and cry until the morning, when I will be forcibly taken from the only friends, the only family, the only home that I have ever known.
"Koneko? What's that mean?" I questioned, fiercely wiping my hands against my face to rid my skin of the tears that I had desperately tried to keep buried inside.
"It's a word from a long dead language." He spoke with a knowledge that betrayed his youthful age. "It means kitten. The sound that you just made reminded me of a kitten wanting more of its momma's milk. So that's what I'm going to call you from now on."
I pressed my body closer to his, feeling very vulnerable all of a sudden. "I like it." I whisper directly into his ear.
"I wasn't lying when I told you that you would me the only thing that I will miss from here." As he told me this, he stroked his hand over my hair, the gesture calming me more than I would ever like to admit. I paused for a moment before I gather my thoughts and started speaking.
"I could never miss anything from this place. But I know that I will always miss you." I told him, and there is a pause in the stroking of my hair.
"Thanks, Koneko." He smiled a real smile this time, and then stood up, pulling me with him. "Come on. Matron is probably giving herself a heart attack with worry. Plus, I think that it's starting to rain out. We don't want to catch cold." He said to me. I frowned a bit, knowing that it hadn't rained in over a month. But I looked over at him, and I could see wetness leaving streaks on his pale cheeks. Although, it wasn't from the rain.
'Your secret is safe with me.' I thought to myself as we made our way back towards the orphanage.
So, what did you think? I know, it's a little different, but hey, who doesn't like being unique? Anyway, this is going to be a shorter story than what I normally write, about 4 chapters total, and it's actually almost done now. I just have to find time in my hectic life to type/edit it. Speaking of editing, is anyone interested in becoming a beta for me???make puppy dog eyes my current beta has decided that life is too consuming for beta-ing right now. If anyone is interest, please let me know!!
Also, I do have a pairing in mind who this story is about, and there are a couple possible endings. Depending on the support I get from this, it will affect the ending I post. And if I get enough support, I might make a couple of endings, one for the yaoi community, one for the rest. So review and let me know! Free cookies from Shiva for anyone who reviews!