Back To Nerima!

A Ranma 1/2 fusion by Carrot Glace.


"Detention," Ranma Saotome grumbled as he looked down at the ground.

"Again?" muttered Akane in disgust as she put her nose up at him. "This wouldn't happen so much if you didn't sleep through every class!" She turned away from him on her heels and stormed away.

She never noticed the smirk on her fiancee's face as he turned back towards the school building.

Things had gone well after the incident with Saffron. The marriage had been destroyed, but other than that, things were relatively back to normal. It had been almost a year now, and he still had the same idiots chasing after him as always. With the exception of Ryoga of course. The lost boy only came to Nerima in passing these days, asking for directions to the Unryuu farm. Akane's attitude had lightened considerably as well; he wasn't getting hit as much. She hadn't stopped either though.

Thus his current situation, detention. He found it quite relaxing actually, an hour that he could escape Ukyo and Shampoo, even Akane. None of the girls visited him when he was stuck in detention. He was left alone, quiet and blissfully alone.

Even Principal Kuno ignored him when he was in detention these days, thinking he'd won some sort of victory. It was a nice feeling to know no one would bother him.

"Ah. Ranma," said the teacher who was assigned duty. He was an older man from the science department named Dr. Kasshoku.

"Hey Doc," replied the pigtailed boy as he sat down at one of the desks.

"I'm starting to think you try and get detention," said the man calmly. He was wearing a lab coat, and had a shock of white hair and slightly wild eyes.

"Yeah? Is it that obvious?" said the boy cheerfully.

"Yes," said the man with a slight chuckle. "I suppose I can understand that."

Ranma had actually formed a friendship with the man. He left him alone for the most part, and actually helped him with some of his schoolwork on occasion. He was a bit scatterbrained though, and seemed to always be working on something. That was one of the reasons he took the Detention duty, it was as much a quiet contemplative time for him as it was Ranma. Today, he had a machine sitting on his desk, and was working on it with a pair of pliers and some screwdrivers.

"What's that Doc?" asked Ranma as he found his interest strangely piqued.

"Just a little experiment I've been working on," said the man cheerfully.

"Oh?" muttered the boy as he stood up and peered at it for a moment. It was really nothing more than a piece of metal with a lot of wires and circuit boards attached to it. "What's it do?"

"Just a regulator," said the man calmly. "It goes on something bigger." He paused. "You know...I may have something to get you a little extra credit."

Ranma raised his eyebrow at this. "I don't have to write anything do I?"

"No. It's quite simple really. All you have to do is point a camera and shoot."

Ranma blinked. That sounded almost too easy. "Sure."

"Meet me at the Nerima Shopping mall at around ten o'clock tonight. I'll have everything we need there."

Ranma nodded at this. "Okay. Are you sure you want me there? You've seen how stuff can happen..."

"Oh. I'm sure it'll be all right. Just explain things to your friends before hand," said the man cheerfully.

"I dunno..." muttered Ranma lamely. "They might wreck your experiment if they decide to show up or somethin."

"I wouldn't worry about that," said the doctor cheerfully. "It's not that kind of experiment."

Ranma shrugged. "Okay."


"Extra credit?" muttered Nabiki as she frowned at the boy.

"Yeah. Doc told me all I had to do was record something for him," said Ranma as he shrugged his shoulders. "Seems easy enough."

"I worked so hard on dinner tonight! Just call and say you can't come!" snapped Akane.

"Sorry Akane, I promised," said Ranma apologetically. Although he was secretly a little more than relieved to get out of it.

"Are you sure you don't need some help son?" said Soun.

"No. He said for me to come alone, he don't want too many people around," said the boy with a scowl on his face.

Nabiki smirked. Ranma being alone at night? She knew of a few people who would pay for information like that.

"You wouldn't believe how much trouble it was convincing Shampoo and Ukyo that I couldn't date them."

Nabiki almost fell headfirst into the table.

"You told them?" she gasped.

"Yeah, Kodachi too," said the boy. "She was pretty easy to convince. I said I'd be busy, and couldn't hang out with them anyway. I didn't want them showing up and wrecking the experiment. You know how they are. Doc was nice enough to let me help him. I'd hate for them to go and wreck his work and all."

"That's almost nice of you," said Akane in shock. "Wait a minute! You called Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi?"

"Well, yeah," said the boy dumbly.

"I don't believe you! You jerk!" snapped Akane as she decked him.

Nabiki sighed as he crumpled to the ground under the attack. "I'd almost thought he'd learned something for a minute there." She seemed slightly relieved. "Well. Have fun Saotome," she said cheerfully.

"Uncute..." grumbled Ranma as he lay on the ground, blissfully dazed.


Ranma blinked, looking around at the equipment that surrounded him. "What the heck?"

"Ah! You're here!" said Dr. Kasshoku cheerfully. He had just finished parking a eighteen-wheel truck in the middle of the empty parking lot. The mall had closed some time ago.

"What the heck is all this?" muttered Ranma. There wasn't much there, a few cameras, and some computer equipment set up to monitor something.

"Just some things to help speed things along," said the man cheerfully. A shaggy looking dog got out of the cab of the truck and barked at him.

"Just a moment," he muttered as he reached into the vehicle and pulled a lever. The back of the trailer hooked onto the truck opened up.

"Nice dog," muttered Ranma.

"Thank you. His name is Einstein," said the man as he walked into the trailer.

Ranma blinked as the sound of an engine roared from within. "What the heck?"

A mean looking Delorian car rolled out of the back of the trailer, with all sorts of strange equipment attached to the back of it. "Whoa..." muttered the boy in awe.

"Are you ready?" said the doctor as he stuck his head out of the car.

Ranma picked up one of the cameras and nodded. "Sure. What the heck is this?"

"I'll explain everything!" said the man as he waved Ranma over to the car as he stepped out. "Here. Get a shot of this!"

Ranma did so, and focused the lens on the interior of the car. "This is the flux capacitor!" said the man proudly. "It's what makes my life long dream possible!"

There was a strange electrical device in the back seat of the car, taking up the whole thing. The doctor was indicating a particular portion of it. It was a box with a Y shaped light inside of it.

"Dream?" muttered Ranma dumbly.

"Yes!" exclaimed the man excitedly. "Here! I'll show you!" The dog jumped up into the car. "I have attached a stopwatch to my friend here. As you can see, it is set at exact synchronization with my own!"

Ranma nodded, his mouth hanging open slightly in a daze of confusion. "Um. Okay."

The man jumped out of the vehicle and closed the door. "And now we begin!" He pulled out a remote control and started the engine with it.

"Keep the camera on the car!" said the man as he gave a knowing smile to his confused assistant.

The vehicle came to life; the engine roaring as it sped through the parking lot into a starting position. "When the car reaches eighty eight miles per hour, the reaction should occur!" said the man excitedly as he used the remote to apply gas to the vehicle again.

Ranma followed the vehicle with the camera, still as confused as ever. "What the heck does this thing do?" he muttered out loud.

Then the car vanished, leaving two flaming trails where the wheels had once been.

The doctor was jumping up and down excitedly. "I did it! I did it!" he cried joyously. "It works! My boy! It works!"

"Um, yeah. You could have just put him to sleep you know," grumbled Ranma in confusion.

"What? No! No! He's not dead!" said the doctor as he turned to him and laughed.

"He's not?" said the boy.

"I sent him, into the future!" cried the doctor excitedly. "Five minutes into the future specifically!"

Ranma blinked. "Oh-kay."

"Wait! Keep the camera rolling. In exactly thirty five seconds, he should reappear!"

Ranma did so, focusing on the point where the vehicle had vanished. It blasted back into existence, leaving him staring slack jawed at it as it suddenly braked and spun around to a stop. "Whoa."

The doc rushed up to the car, opening the door and motioning him to follow. "Keep the camera on me, so there's no question about the validity!"

Ranma did so and knelt down as he reached to open the door, only to yelp in pain. He almost put the camera down to help. "Is it hot?"

"Keep going! I'm fine, it's just cold!"

The boy nodded as the man finally opened the door.

He sat down next to his dog, and smirked as he put up the watches. "Exactly five minutes and thirty four seconds have lapsed on my watch, but here..."

The dog's watch was still behind, by five minutes.

"Whoa," muttered the boy dumbly as he stood up.

"Exactly! I'll show you how it works!" he giggled like a child and rushed over to the back end of the vehicle. "It takes an enormous amount of power for this to run. It's almost impossible to get it to work! As you can see, I was forced to use high-grade plutonium in order to get it to function. I'm working on that though. He pulled out the used fuel cell for the unit and lifted up a large box with several more inside. Placing it carefully inside he closed it and looked back at Ranma.

"Um. Plutonium?" muttered Ranma. "What's that?"

"Nuclear power my boy!" said the man cheerfully.

"Oh," replied the boy with another shrug. "So. This thing'll let you go five minutes back in time?"

"No! That was just a test! I can go anywhere! Or should I say, anywhen!" He pulled him over to the interior of the car. "For example, should I want to go to July seventh, 1965, at say, eight o'clock in the evening? I just punch it in here." He adjusted the display to the time he had mentioned and smiled at Ranma.

"Oh," said the boy in confusion.

"See? It's no problem!" exclaimed the man. "Now..."

Ranma stepped back from the car, obviously impressed. He paused though, when another vehicle roared around the corner. "Who the heck is that?"

"No!" cried the doctor in shock. "I didn't think they'd find me so quickly!"

"They?" muttered Ranma dumbly.

"The Libyans!" said the man nervously.

"Libyans?" continued Ranma as he noticed one of them emerge from the roof of the small van bearing down on them with an automatic rifle in his hands. "Oh. The Libyans."

"I stole the plutonium from them. They wanted me to build a bomb with it for them!" said the man as he ducked behind the car with him. "Quickly! We must escape!"

Ranma nodded at this, as it sounded like it might be a good idea.

"Come on! To the Delorian!" snapped the man as he pulled Ranma away.

Catching on quickly, the boy rushed with him towards the car. Fighting was one thing, but automatic weapons was something else.

The Libyans opened fire on them, and Ranma felt something slip away from behind him. "No! Doc!" he cried as he reached for the man.

"Go! Don't let them get their hands on it!" cried the man as he died in front of Ranma.

The men in the van continued to fire at him, bullets ricocheting on the ground between him and the doctor. "No!" he cried as he dove into the car's open door and closed it.

He blinked as he looked at the controls dumbly. "I can't drive a car!"

The sound of bullets striking the steel exterior of the car quickly changed his mind, and he decided to try it anyway. "Let's see now..."

He mashed the gas pedal down, and the engine cut off. "Shift...right..." he muttered to himself as the bullets stopped. Outside, the men were starting to climb out of their vehicle. "Right."

He turned the key and worked the clutch, throwing the shift lever into gear. The vehicle roared forward, putting up billows of smoke as he jammed his foot onto the gas. "Lucky!" he cried with a nervous look back at the surprised men.

The piled into their vehicle again and gave chase as the Delorian zigzagged through the parking lot. One of the men climbed out of the roof with a bazooka in his grasp and aimed it at the speeding car as best he could.

"Wait. When did the doc say this thing would start workin?" muttered the boy as he looked at the speedometer. "And how do I slow this thing down?" he cried as the energy crackled in front of him. The car burst into the fabric of time, leaving the men staring dumbly at the two trails of flame it left.

The Libyans looked on in terror as they bore down on a small photo shop booth, their van exploding into flames as they struck it and set off the bazooka.


Ranma groaned painfully as he sat up from inside the vehicle. "What the heck just happened?" he muttered as he glanced around. He was still inside the car. Unfortunately, the front end was buried under a toppled stack of hay bales.

His memories flooded back to him suddenly. "Oh man...this sucks."

He reached for the display and attempted to turn the dial as he had seen the doctor do, only to find that everything inside the car was dead. "No more power?" he whined as he hit his head against the steering wheel in frustration. "Where am I anyway?"

He got out and frowned. "Man. This sucks."

He was in the middle of nowhere. Just an open field, with a small dirt road, and several boulders lining the sides. He looked back at the car and sighed.


After hiding the vehicle behind a large set of rocks, he had decided to explore a bit. Maybe he could find a way back if he looked around enough.

It took him most of the night to finally find civilization. He frowned as he looked at Tokyo. "Oh man. I guess that thing really does work," he muttered to himself. "Damn it."

All around him, people walked the streets in Kimonos and traditional Japanese clothing. Occasionally, he'd see a US sailor move by him. He frowned as he looked at one of the stacks of newspapers at his feet. It was still early morning, and they had just been delivered. "July 7, 1965."

"Crap," said the boy as he frowned and looked around. "Crap, crap, crap."


Sixteen year old Genma Saotome couldn't believe his luck. He sat in the branches of a tree and looked on as a beautiful young girl began to undress herself right before his eyes. He was a pudgy young man, and wore a red and white striped shirt with a small round hat covering his bald spot on the top of his head. "Oh! I knew that my suffering would pay off one day." A wind blew by, revealing that he wasn't actually sitting on a branch, but was hung from the spot by his underwear from a higher branch. He adjusted his glasses in order to get a better focus and leered at the girl.

"Hey! What the heck are you doin up there?" called a voice from below.

Genma gasped. "No! Not now!" he cried in panic. "Nothing! Go away!"

Ranma was standing beneath him. The boy jumped up and stared at the kid in front of him. "What the?" he muttered as he noticed him hanging there. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

"It's not funny!" snapped Genma hatefully.

Ranma continued to snicker, and paused as he turned his head to see what Genma had been looking at. "Man. You are a pervert." He unhooked the boy's shorts and jumped down as the kid slumped to the ground.

"No! Couldn't you have waited five minutes?!" cried Genma. "The kami were finally rewarding me for a lifetime of suffering!"

"Right. Look you I know you?" he frowned as he peered at Genma for a moment.

"No. I um..." he started looking for any way he could to escape. "I gotta go!"

"Wait you jerk!" snapped Ranma as he followed after him.

Genma was fast for his size, but he had nothing on Ranma. The pigtailed boy caught him by his collar in the middle of the street. "Stop runnin ya putz!"

"Gah!" cried Genma as he pointed behind the boy.

"Huh?" stammered Ranma as he turned to see a car slamming onto its brakes. "Oh man."

Genma escaped, but Ranma couldn't move in time. He was thrown across the asphalt.

"My god!" cried a voice.

"Who the?" grumbled Ranma as he looked at the fuzzy outline of a man standing over him, then he blacked out.


He woke up and sat up painfully. "Ouch..."

"Are you all right?" said the young girl who sat next to him.

Ranma blinked and looked at her for a moment. "Huh?"

"I'm so sorry. My father hit you with his car, I told him you were righteously punishing that pervert who was peeping on me!" said the girl sweetly.

"Gah!" cried Ranma in shock. He was looking at his cursed form, without the pigtail.

"Are you okay Mr. Doremon?" said the girl sweetly.

"Who the heck are you? Where am I?" he muttered nervously.

"I'm Nodoka Uchimi," said the girl as she gave him a small bow. "My father didn't hurt you too badly with his car Mr. Doremon? I hope not."

He glanced around and found himself sitting on a futon. The girl's room was traditionally decorated, and had little else in it besides the mat. "Who the heck is Mr. Doremon?" mumbled Ranma in confusion.

"That's your name isn't it? It's written all over your boxers," said the girl as she blinked at him.

Ranma blushed beet red, and then what she said seemed to hit him. He lifted his sheets and almost screamed. "Ah! My clothes!"

"It's all right. I washed them for you!" said the girl as she held them up to him. His shirt was now a bright pink color.

He took it and stared at it in horror. "I um...thanks..." He frowned as he put it on, it was also much smaller. He eyed his pants suspiciously and flipped them out, they were little more than a pair of shorts any more. "I think."

"I'm so glad you're not hurt. Who are you?"

"I'm a...Ranma..." he mumbled as he looked at her for a moment. "You say your name is Nodoka?"

"That's right," said the girl happily. She seemed overjoyed that he was interested in that.

Ranma's razor sharp mind worked fervently at this new information. "Nodoka...Nodoka...where had he heard that name before. Oh yeah! He was in the past, that's right! That would mean she was older..." He looked at her gaze of adoration dumbly, recognizing it for what it was instantly. He'd seen it enough times on Shampoo or Ukyo. "Oh man."

"Wow! He's awed by my beauty!" she said to herself, not quite realizing that it was out loud.

"Look. I um...gottago..." he stammered. "Where do I know that name from? She looks just like my cursed form!" He paused and frowned. "You wouldn't be planning a trip to China anytime soon would you?"

"You want to take me to China?! How romantic!" squealed the girl happily.

"What? No! I was just wondering!" he exclaimed defensively as he jumped up and backed into a wall.

"Oh," she muttered in disappointment. "Well, no then." She looked confused at this.

He hung his head in relief. "That's not it then..."

"What is it?" asked the girl sweetly.

"Nuthin. I just think I know your name from somewhere..." he grumbled to himself more than her.

"Wow! Maybe it's a destined love!" she cried excitedly.

", that ain't it," he muttered completely seriously.

A gruff sounding voice interrupted them as her father walked into the room. "Quit bothering him Nodoka."

Ranma looked up at the huge man and laughed nervously. "Um. Hi."

"I must apologize for my daughter, she has never had a boy in her room before...and she will not again for many, many years," said the man firmly.

"Whew," said Ranma in relief. "'re Mr..."

"Uchimi," confirmed the man. "I must apologize for striking you with my car."

"It's all right. I wasn't seriously hurt or nuthin," said Ranma as he waved the comment off. The man snorted at this and motioned for him to follow. "I'll get you some clothes. My daughter does try, but she often tries to hard."

"Thanks," grumbled the boy dejectedly. "I know someone like that."

"Oh?" said the man as he arched his eyebrow at him.

"Yeah. Some crazy uncute tomboy," he said nervously. With a name like Mr. Bruise, it was probably not a good idea to anger him.

"Ha! Tell me, who are you?"

"I'm Ranma Saotome, of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts!" said the boy proudly, almost as a reflex.

"Anything Goes?" said the man with a short nod. "I've not heard of that school."

Ranma blinked and realized where he was. It was an easy blunder to cover up though. "Only two families practice it."

"Ah. I see," said the man as he gave him a pair of pants and a shirt from his own drawer.

The shirt was white, and the pants actually fit.

"They were mine, but my daughter tried to wash them. Thankfully, I saved them before she tried to iron them."

"You don't have too..." started Ranma.

"Nonsense, think of it as an apology for hitting you," said the man with a smirk on his face. "You must stay for dinner."

Ranma looked at the girl's bedroom nervously. It was too familiar. "Um. I'd like to and all...but...I've really got to find someone. I came here to find a friend of mine. He'll be getting worried."

"Nonsense," said the man cheerfully. "If he's not worried now, he won't ever be, and if he's already worried, a little more time won't hurt."

"I really shouldn't," said the boy as he looked up at the man.

"My daughter, did not cook tonight," said the man.

"Oh. Thanks then," said Ranma cheerfully.


At dinner, Ranma ate his fill, much to the surprise of Nodoka's mother and father.

"Oh my! Such a healthy appetite!" thought Nodoka to herself.

"Hmmm. He eats like a martial artist, his claim must be true. A man among men indeed. The perfect man to shove my daughter off on. She is beautiful, but her skills as a wife are poor. Surely such a man would be perfect to withstand such a shame, and bring honor to our clan," thought Nodoka's father.

"I don't like him, look at the way my daughter fawns over him. He eats like an animal, I shall be glad once he is gone from our home," thought Nodoka's mother. She had the family Katana resting on her shoulder, and her face was a mask of cheerfulness. "Our daughter is too good for him! Too good for any man!" She held back her tears of feminine bitterness and continued to put forth her formal attitude, as was fitting of a woman of her station.

"Thanks for the meal, but I've really got to go now," said Ranma nervously. He paused and looked at the elder Saotome woman. "Creepy. The way she holds that sword..." Everything finally clicked into place. He turned to look at Nodoka again and panicked. "Sorrygottagogoodbye!"

"Wait boy!" said the large man as he put his hand on his shoulder and stopped him. "Tell me, where does your family hail from?"

"Um...pretty close by..." he muttered nervously.

"Hmmm. Perhaps I should meet with them. It shames me to say, but you deserve something for all the trouble you've gone through. Perhaps we can think of some form of restitution for the damage done?"

Ranma blinked and looked up at the man. It sounded like a pay off. "Restitution?"

"Yes, I'm sure we can think of something," said the man as he shoved Ranma next to Nodoka.

The girl was smiling cheerfully at him. "Can we father?"

Ranma was looking at her mother. She was flashing him a look he'd seen on Akane's face many times before, and she had something much more lethal than a wooden mallet in her hands. "Um...look...I parents...they of town! Yeah! That's it!" he cried as he jumped up. "Maybe we can talk...after they get year! Yeah! That's it!"

"Oh?" said the man with a slightly disappointed look. In truth he was overjoyed. It would be much easier to trick him into marrying his daughter without his parents interfering. All he had to do, was get them to sleep together to force it. Not a difficult task considering how willing his daughter seemed, she was also not bad looking. "Well, another time then. Are you sure you can't stay the night?"

"Yeah. I'm supposed to meet someone! Sorry, I'm late already!"

"I'll give you a ride," said the man as he stood up.

"NO! I mean...It'll be faster to walk!" he rushed out of the home as fast as he could.

"Drat!" growled the man as he slapped his fist into his palm.

"Idiot," growled his wife.

"Eh?" he muttered obliviously.

"Nothing dear," said the woman calmly as she sipped at her tea.

"I just know I'll see him again!" thought Nodoka dramatically.


Ranma ran down the street as fast as his legs would carry him. "Man. That was close!"

He paused when he realized that he didn't have anywhere to go at the moment. "Dang. What now?"


Two hours later, Ranma was still sitting on a wall, trying to think of his next move. "Stuck in the past...hmmm...where to go? The old Ghoul?" He quickly dismissed that idea, realizing that he'd have to go to China for that. His brain began to overheat a little as it worked, causing another thought. "Maybe I should go to China? I mean, I could get cured and all while I'm there..." He frowned to himself. "Naw. Not yet, I gotta find a way back home." He sighed and looked up at the sky. It was dark again, and he could see Akane's smiling face in the sky. "She can be kind of cute sometimes..." Shaking his head, he jumped off of the wall and started walking. "Man. This sucks. Where can I go though?"

Finally, one of the brain cells seemed to hit on something that was a good idea. "The doc! Yeah! I should find the doc! If anyone can help me, it's him!"

Then he hit another wall. "You have no idea where he lives."

"Crap," he muttered angrily. "Oh well. How hard can it be to find him? I'll just go to Furinkan, maybe he works there? He is kinda old, and he said he's been a teacher for a while."


It was early morning when Ranma made it to Furinkan. It had never crossed his mind that it might not be built yet, and fortunately, it had been. He strolled through the familiar gates and frowned at what he saw.

A mirror image of Tatewaki Kuno was standing proudly in the middle of the schoolyard, wearing a school uniform.

"Man," he grumbled as he started walking.

"Hold!" said the boy as he turned to scowl at him.

"Yeah?" said Ranma with a scowl on his face.

"Who are you knave? And why do you not wear a uniform! Your hair is also much to long to conform to the standards of these hallowed halls!"

"Huh? I ain't no student here!" snapped the pigtailed boy irritably.

"Oh? So you come merely to mock the sanctity of my hallowed halls with your mere presence!" snapped the boy angrily. "Villain! I, the mighty Kochou Kuno shall not allow this offence! A president of the school's decency comity, I shall fell you for your grievous actions!"

Ranma blinked. "Wait a mean your -name- is Principal Kuno?" he said in shock.

"Indeed!" said the boy proudly. "Now..."

Ranma kicked him in the face. The boy fell over rather undramatically. "Outa my way. I got business," he snorted irritably.

The student body gasped as their greatest fighter and pervert fell easily under the boy's attack.

Ranma walked by them calmly, his hands shoved into his pockets as he walked into the building with a scowl on his face.


"Dr. Kasshoku?" said the administrator as he looked at the boy in front of him.

"Yeah. Is he here?" said Ranma as he looked at the man. "I didn't see him in his room."

"Well, we have a Mr. Kasshoku on the janitorial staff," said the man with a small shrug. "Maybe you mean him?"

"Yeah. Right, where is he?" asked Ranma.

"In the basement," said the man calmly.

"Great. Thanks," said the boy as he grinned at him and walked off.

"Punk. I'm glad he doesn't go here," said the man sourly after the boy had left.


Ranma scowled at the mess he found when he entered Furinkan's basement. "What a dump."

"Eh? Who's there?" said a familiar voice.

Ranma whirled around and smiled at the man. "Doc!"

"Who?" stammered the man dumbly. It was indeed Dr. Kasshoku. He had a strange device on his head, and was wearing a pair of dirty overalls. "Who the heck are you!"

"Ranma Saotome!" said the boy cheerfully. "Look. I need your help with something!"

"Eh?" muttered the man with a frown on his face. "Go away! I'm very busy!"

Ranma frowned at this and scowled. "Look. I'm stuck here, and it's all your fault!"

"Huh?" muttered the man as he started to write on an old blackboard that had been stuck down there.

"I'm from the future and stuff. I need you to help me fix your time machine so I can go home!" he snapped.

The man looked at him like he had grown a second head. "What? That's crazy! Go away!"

Ranma blinked. "Hey. Isn't that your flux doohickey thing?"

This caused the doctor to pause. "It works?"

Ranma looked at him again. "Huh?"

"The flux capacitor works!?" he gasped joyously.

"I guess so. I'm here aren't I?" muttered Ranma.

"It really turns pocket lint into a valuable parsley substitute?" he said with a look of excitement in his eyes.

"Huh? It does that too?" muttered the boy as he looked at the board. "I thought it was just that dumb thing in your time machine."

The man turned to look at the board for a moment. He scratched off one of the complex equations and corrected a few lines of another one. "Yes. I suppose it can work that way too. Interesting..."

"Hey. That's great and all, but I kinda need to go home. Can ya help me or not? It was your stupid machine that caused all this," said Ranma as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I suppose so," grumbled the man as he glanced at the boy. He was more focused on the equation than anything else. "Very well. Come back tomorrow, and I'll see what I can do."

"Tomorrow?!" cried Ranma in shock.

"Yes, yes," muttered the man absently.

"Where the heck am I supposed to stay tonight? Your place?" snapped Ranma.

"Huh? Mother would never allow that!" said the man after a moment of thought. "That won't do at all."

"Great," grumbled Ranma. "What the heck am I supposed to do until then?"

"Go home," said the man with a shrug.

"If I could do that, I wouldn't be here!" snapped Ranma.

"What? Don't you have a family?" said the man dumbly. "Can't stay here, it's against school policy."

Ranma pulled at his hair. "Haven't you been listening to me?! I'm stuck in the past!"

"Really? My father had the same problem. He still thinks it's 1945, the old coot."

Ranma hit his head into the wall in frustration.

"Don't you have someone you can stay with? A parent or something?"

Ranma blinked and turned green. "My mom is like in love with me. Ain't no way I'm goin back there again."

The doctor whirled around. "What did you say?"

"Don't make me say it again, it's too gross."

"You imbecile! You've met your mother?"

"Yeah," said the boy as he blinked at the man.

"This is not good! Definitely not good!" cried the distraught janitor.

"What's wrong?" muttered Ranma.

"You've created a time paradox!" said the man. "This is horrible! Now you have to fix it before I can send you back to the future! We're going to have to split up! You work on fixing your past, and I'll work on the time machine." He paced back and fourth nervously as he said this, looking to be deep in thought.


"What if you disrupted an important event in time?" cried the man as he took the boy by his shoulders and shook him. "You might never be born! You've got to fix things! Set them right!"

"Hey! I ain't goin near that crazy place again!" snapped Ranma.

"Even if it means you'll never exist?" said the man as he looked him in the eyes and frowned.

"Um...yes?" said Ranma uncertainly.

"Maybe we can work something else out then," said the man calmly.

Ranma sighed with relief and turned away. "I'll take you to your stupid machine now."

The janitor blinked and looked at his chalkboard. "I suppose you should. That might help us!"

"Right doc," grumbled Ranma.


"Oh! Look! It's him! The love of my life!" cried Nodoka as she stood up from the center of a large group of girls.

Ranma was just stepping out of the building with the janitor with him.

The girls swooned, and giggled madly. "Is it really him? Your dad said you can marry him right? He's a martial artist? I heard he beat Kuno earlier!"

Nodoka beamed proudly at her destined love's prowess. "He's surely a man among men! I can't wait to find out if he is or not for sure!"

"Are you going to take him to that festival tomorrow night?" said one of the girls loudly.

Nodoka blinked and looked at her. "That's a wonderful idea, Natsume! I've just got to think of a way to get him to ask me!"

Ranma looked on as a group of girls surrounded him and the janitor. "Uh? What is it?" he said to the giggles. It was a very unnerving scene.

"I hear you're taking Nodoka to the festival tomorrow night!" cried one of them.

"She's really excited!" said another one.

"She'll be so disappointed if you don't!" squealed another.

Ranma was turning white as a sheet and backing away. "What? No! I never said that! I um..."

"So! You lied to her!?" cried one of the girls angrily.

Ranma froze, he'd seen what an angry mob of teenage girls could do to a man, and it wasn't pretty. "No! Of course not! I'd never..."

"Then you'll be there?" said the same girl as a cheerful smile on her face. "Around eight, to pick her up?"

The Janitor had also witnessed what a mob of women could do. Having had to clean up the mess after a particularly lecherous boy had been caught peeping. He turned towards Ranma. "I've got the directions you gave me. I'll just go on ahead, you take care of things here!" He rushed away, not wanting to end up like that Kuno boy did.

Ranma's only hope for escape vanished in a cloud of dust.

"I ummm..." he stammered lamely.

"Great! She'll be dishonored if you don't come! A shame for the rest of her life!"

An image of Ukyo, and her appearance in his life again flashed into his mind. He swallowed. "Look...I really can't..."

"Bye!" cried the girls as they shuffled away, giggling and gossiping amongst themselves.

"Oh man," muttered Ranma in horror. "I've got a date...with my mom!" He turned a sickly green and turned to run away. Only to find his path blocked by a fat kid with glasses.

"You're the guy who beat Kuno this morning aren't you?" said the kid.

Ranma blinked and looked down at him. "Um...yeah..."

"My name is Genma Saotome, and I ask humbly to become your student!" said the boy with tears in his eyes.

"What?! No way!" he cried in shock as he recognized the boy as the kid he'd pulled from a tree.

"Please! I'll do anything! Teach me master!" cried the boy pathetically as he bowed deeply, almost rubbing his face into the dirt.

"I um...Crouch of the Wild Tiger?" muttered Ranma as he recognized the stance.

"What?" said Genma as he looked up from his groveling.

"Nuthin. I ain't got time to train nobody!" snapped Ranma as he frowned at the boy.

"Oh. Right, your date with the beautiful Nodoka! She is the most popular girl in the entire school! Kuno is insanely in love with her. You're a lucky man," said Genma with a look of longing in his eyes.

"Look..." started Ranma. He paused as the boy's name suddenly hit him. "Pop?"

"Huh?" said Genma.

"It's nuthin. You said you want training?" said Ranma as he stared at the boy for a moment.

"Yes! Anything!" cried the boy.

Ranma got an evil gleam in his eyes as he stared down at the groveling fat kid in front of him. "At last! I can get that stupid old man back!"


Ranma frowned as he looked down at Genma. "What's the matter with you? Are you too weak to take it?" he cried angrily.

Genma sniffled, his eyes full of tears as he hefted the boulder strapped to his back a little more and continued to struggle up the hill. "No Master!"

"Good! Because I was doing this when I was five!" cried Ranma angrily as he pointed down at the man.


"What's this?" asked Genma as he looked over the edge of the cliff they were standing on top of.

"You've got to climb this in less than five minutes," said Ranma coldly as he glared at the man.

"How? We're already at the top?" said Genma fearfully.

Ranma booted him off the edge, laughing maniacally.

"Don't be such a baby! I was doing this when I was four!" he snapped at the whimpering fat boy.


"You want me to swim across this pool of live piranha!?" gasped Genma in shocked horror.

"Of course! I had to do it! Take it like a man boy!" snarled Ranma.

"But...I'll get eaten!"

"Didn't you know that the path of a martial artist is fraught with peril?!" cried Ranma as he shoved him in.

Genma shrieked and started swimming for his life.

"Quit your whining boy! Take it like a man!"


Ranma smirked as he pulled Genma out of a pit of cats. He was wearing half-eaten fish sausages all over him.

"Well, they're supposed to be starving cats, and I suppose you're a little old to learn the technique now," said Ranma with a look of slight disappointment on his face.

"Sorry master," grumbled the beaten Genma.

"It can't be helped I suppose, now I want you to start punching that steel wall over there for at least an hour," said Ranma as he pointed at the next task.

"Right," grumbled Genma weakly.


An hour later, Ranma was having the time of his life while sitting high up in the branch of a tree. Genma was below him, screaming bloody murder as he tried desperately to avoid all the bees that his future son had released on him. "You sound like a girl! Quit complaining and move faster!" called Ranma.


Genma was lying face down in the dust, they had just finished their ten-mile run and the boy could no longer move. "I thank you for the lesson master!" said the pudgy boy respectfully.

Ranma blinked in surprise and shrugged. He'd thoroughly enjoyed giving it. "Anytime."

However, just as he was about to turn away, a voice called out to him from one of the nearby houses.

"You came!"

Ranma turned and his jaw dropped in horror. Nodoka Saotome was walking towards him with her arms spread wide.

He stood like a deer caught in headlights as she jumped into his arms and kissed him full on the lips, slipping him the tongue in the process.

Genma looked up and bowed out of the scene quietly. He watched from the bushes shadily as the girl finally broke off her kiss and latched onto the paralyzed boy's arm.

"The master is so lucky! I must help him, surely he'll teach me again if I help him get laid!" His eyes became watery with tears of determination.


Ranma found himself standing in the middle of some sort of summer festival. He wasn't sure how he had gotten there, the last thing he remembered was his mother slipping him the tongue. "What the?" he muttered as he glanced around.

Nodoka smiled at him as she pulled him along. "Isn't this fun?"

There were various booths with food and games around them and she looked up at him expectantly.

"Buy me some dinner!" she said.

"I um...don't have any..." sputtered Ranma as he realized he was broke.

Genma moved up behind him and put a ten yen coin in his hand as he passed, turning his head to wink at him as he continued.

"Man, he was always a Cheapskate?" grumbled Ranma as he looked at the coin. He looked at the sign and frowned. It was enough for one meal.


Nodoka finished quickly, leaving Ranma hungry as he watched her.

Naturally, she had assumed he was staring at her chest, and opened up her Yukata a bit more, giving him a full view of her naked breasts.

Ranma turned his head away in revulsion.

"I guess he doesn't like Yakitori," she thought to herself as she finished the last of her meal.

"Can we go now?" mumbled Ranma.

"No! We should go for a walk!" she exclaimed as she pulled him away.

Ranma frowned a short time later, when he realized that they were alone. A familiar figure, dressed up as one of the Raccoon statues that were common in the woods, handed him something. He blinked and looked back at it, only to find Genma giving him a thumbs up. He felt what was in his hand and looked at it. "What the heck is this thing?" he muttered as he looked at a small flat foil packet.

Nodoka looked at him and blushed. Pulling the object out of his hand, she cuddled into his chest as she threw it away. "Oh. You don't need one of those!"

"Huh? Okay. What was it though?" he asked her as he tried to look back at where she had thrown it.

Nodoka was absolutely euphoric. "Ranma! Take me!"

"Okay, where? Do you want to go back home now?" he asked hopefully.

"Don't you know what to do when a girl throws herself at you?" she said with a longing in her eyes.

"Catch her?" he replied obliviously. "Why would she do that though? She might fall and hurt herself."

Nodoka growled in frustration. There was no way he could be this dense! "Look. Ranma darling, I would like to have se..."

"Hey. Is that one o' them Kabuki plays?" said Ranma as something caught his attention a short distance away. "Neat! I always wanted to see one of them! Pop was always too interested in training to do that kind of stuff though."

"Um...Okay..." said Nodoka in confusion. "I suppose we could get back to this, if you've always wanted to do...that..."


Ranma was enthralled, he sat on the edge of his seat as the actors danced around the stage to the music. "Wow. Neat."

Nodoka sat next to him with a scowl on her face. "Right. I know something neater..."

"Shh!" he said as he leaned forward a bit more.

She sat quietly fuming to herself. "I suppose I can wait a bit more..." She grabbed his hand and tried to put it on her chest, but he simply took some of the popcorn she took instead.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a familiar figure burst out of the bushes and rushed over to him. "Ranma!"

"Huh? Hey Doc!" cried the boy cheerfully as he jumped to his feet.

"I've found it. I know what the problem is!" said the man excitedly.

"What? That's great!" cried the boy happily. He rushed off with the man, leaving a dumbfounded Nodoka behind.

"What the?" she muttered in a sort of zombified horror.

"Master! Wait!" cried Genma as he burst out of his disguise just behind where they had been.

Nodoka looked at him and blinked. "Master?"

He glanced at her and frowned. "Um...yeah..."

"Where is he going? I've got some friends coming soon, and their expecting me to have a cute boy with me!"

Genma blinked at this. "I suppose I could stand in, until the master returns. It must be really important for him to run away like that."

"I said they were expecting me to have a -cute- boy with me," she replied as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'm better than nothing," he reasoned. "I'm willing to make sacrifices for the master."

Nodoka sighed and looked around. The only other people around were far to old. "I suppose you'll have to do."

"Right. So what do I do?"

She frowned at him. "Just sit there, and don't touch anything."

"Okay," he said as he sat down and watched the play with her.


Ranma looked at the car with the janitor and frowned. "What's wrong with it?"

"It took me all night to figure it out!" said the man proudly.

"And?" said Ranma flatly.

"The battery is dead," he said as he pulled out another car battery from behind his back.

Ranma fell to the ground for a moment in shock. He jumped back up and shouted at the man. "It took you that long to figure that out?"

"It's a complicated machine," said the man with a small shrug.

Ranma sighed and sat down on the hood. "So, put the battery in so I can go."

"Not that simple. The battery will get the car running, but it won't power the flux capacitor."

"Huh?" said Ranma dumbly.

"We need some plutonium for that," said the man with a shrug.

"So...go get some," said Ranma with a scowl on his face.

"Are you insane? This is 1965! We can't just go to a hardware store and buy some! The only place we might be able to find some is in the United States, and they wouldn't just give it to us!"

"Huh?" stammered Ranma. "Then how the heck am I supposed to get home?"

"Relax! I have a way. All we need to do, is put this antenna I built into the power supply, and find a bolt of lightning! Simple really!"

"Great," said Ranma cheerfully.

"Now. If you'll just tell me the exact time and place where a bolt of lightning will strike, we'll be fine."

Ranma fell to the ground again. "I don't know that!" he shouted.

"What? You're from the future aren't you?" said the man in disbelief.

"I'm not even born yet! How the heck am I supposed to know that?!"

The janitor shrugged. "I can't send you home then."

Ranma paused, a thoughtful look on his face. "Wait a minute. I may know of a way..."


Nodoka smiled weakly as her friends all stared at her new boyfriend.

"I thought you were coming with that other guy?" said one of them.

"Well. I did, but he was boring! Genma is much more interesting!" she said lamely.

"Oh..." said one of the girls quietly. The rest of them were completely silent. ""

"Oh yes!" exclaimed Nodoka. "We've even had sex tonight!"

The girls said nothing, merely sat in shocked silence, staring at the pair.

"We did?" muttered Genma as he looked at her.

"Yes!" she said as she elbowed him in the ribs.

"Oh. Right," he said weakly. "Oh! The things I do for the master!"

There was a rumbling sound. Genma slowly turned to see an overbearing man standing over him.


"So. You have taken my daughter's purity away! Tell me...son...when is the wedding?" said Mr. Uchimi coldly. He looked like a giant demon, and flames roared behind his back.

Genma swallowed hard, and promptly fainted.

"DAAAAADDDD!" cried Nodoka in embarrassment.


Ranma frowned at the boy in front of him. "Look all I said is your introduction needs work. Thunder something or other."

Kuno frowned at the two men who had come to his home and summoned him. "So, you say that a mere voicing of my name is not enough?"

"Right," said Ranma cheerfully.

Kuno scowled at this. "So, delinquent boy, it seems you do have a head about you. I can see honesty in your words. I must think of a suitable title though."

Ranma looked at the confused doctor and grinned.

"Okay, why don't you stand in the middle of the yard, and think of one.

"True, fresh air does indeed help the thought process. It may also assist in my studies."

"Yeah right," agreed Ranma as he pushed him into the yard.

"Perhaps something more tropical will be of use. There is no more pure an environment than the isles. It may persuade myself to find something worthy."

"Right," said Ranma as he jumped into the car and started it up. "Maybe later, just think of something temporary first."

"Indeed," said the boy calmly.

Ranma began to drive in circles around the man as he stood in silence and pondered.


Ten hours later...

Ranma filled up the gas tank again, tossing the cans he had used aside on the ground and glared in frustration at the idiot in the middle of the circle of torn up turf. "Just think of something! Anything!"

"This process cannot be rushed," said Kuno flatly.

Ranma jumped into the car and started the engine. He began to drive again, circling around the boy repeatedly. "Come on!"

Kasshoku sighed as he sat lazily a short distance away and frowned. "Why are we doing this again?" he called.

"Just trust me!" cried Ranma.

"I have it!" cried Kuno as he stood up. He raised his barber's sheers into the air. "I the mighty Kochou Kuno, shall be! The Shooting Star of Furinkan High!"

Ranma slammed on the brakes, his eyes wide with disbelief. "No! That's stupid!"

"Pardon? It seems noble enough," retorted the boy.

"You need something scarier!" snapped the pigtailed boy in frustration.

"Hmm. You are right. My objective is to put the fear of my blades into the hearts of my enemies!" Kuno went back to pondering, and Ranma stopped the car. He sighed and turned off the engine, deciding to wait for Kuno's revelation before starting again.


Four hours later...

"At last! I have it! I shall become! The mighty Lion King of Furinkan High!"

Ranma screamed, and Kasshoku remained sleeping on the grass.


Yet another, four hours later...

"How about White Lightning or something?" offered Ranma with a heavy sigh.

Kuno scoffed at the idea. "It tis a pathetic name, not worthy of my station!"

Ranma sighed. "Fine. I give up."

"Your simplistic mind has inspired me though. I have a name worthy of me at last!" Kuno raised his barber's sheers into the air at last. Dark clouds began to form around them.

The pigtailed boy was already moving faster and faster in a circle around the boy.

Kasshouku sat up from where he had been sunbathing with a glass of iced tea in his hands and moved his sunglasses off of his forehead. "What the?"

"I shall be, the Mighty Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"

Ranma rounded another loop, increasing his speed dramatically. "This is it!"

Lightning struck the antenna as the boy finished his new introduction. In an instant, the car was gone.

Kuno snorted in satisfaction at the name. "Indeed, the mere sound of my title has vanquished the sorcerer. A title truly worthy of the house of Kuno!"

The doctor stood up and dusted off his hands. "Well, that's the end of that!" He turned to walk away with a cheerful smile on his face.

Kuno frowned at the circle of dirt in his yard. "I shall have to speak with the grounds keepers about this."


Ranma shot back into existence in the future. He slammed onto the brakes and shut off the engine. Staggering out of the car, he slumped down onto the pavement. "Did it work?"

His question was answered as he saw himself round the corner. After a few moments of racing around, he saw himself vanish, and the Libyan van explode in a ball of fire after colliding with the photo shop. "I did it!" he cried in triumph.


His joy was short lived though, he walked over to the place where it had all started and stared down at the ground. "Oh man."

Kasshoku was still lying face down on the pavement.

"Man. I'd forgotten," he muttered shamefully. He knelt down beside the man and rolled him over carefully. "Hey. Doc...sorry I didn't warn you..."

"Warn me about what?" said the man as his eyes flew open.

"Gah!" cried Ranma in shock.

"That I might get shot?" said the man with a chuckle.

"You!" stammered the boy as he watched the man take off his shirt, revealing a bulletproof vest. "What the?"

"Silly boy! I'm a genius! I knew something was wrong as soon as I realized that you were telling the truth, and that I wasn't with you!"

Ranma stared at him dumbly.

"Then I noticed this," he pointed at the markings along the side of the car. "The damage the bullets did. I figured something went wrong, and took the proper precautions."

Ranma nodded and said nothing.

"Don't feel bad," said the man as he pat him on the shoulder. "Go home, get a good night's sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

Ranma sighed, and walked towards his home. Dr. Kasshoku merrily went about his business of cleaning up his equipment. The man paused and turned towards his assistant. "Ranma!"

"Yeah?" asked the pigtailed boy.

"You got an 'A'!" said the man cheerfully.

"Thanks teach," he said as he smirked at him.

With that, he jogged away towards his home. His home where everything was exactly the same way he had left it.

Sometimes, that was just the way he liked it.


The End.