Disclaimer: Hogwarts School and its founders were created by J. K. Rowling! And the title "Hoggy, Warty Hogwarts" comes from the first line of the Hogwarts School Song, sung at the beginning of Harry Potter and the Philsopher's Stone.
Hoggy, Warty Hogwarts
Hufflepuff once owned a little pig,
All bristly hair and crumpled snout,
Dopey-eyed, tongue hanging out,
And warts on his back indecently big.
One ear was long, the other, short,
One eye blue, the other, grey.
Kids would point and laugh and say
See that clownish freak – 'Hogwarts'!
But this spotty, snorting hog
Was Helga's special little pet,
Even when he drooled so wet
And rolled content in slimy bogs.
For, though repulsive to behold,
Hogwarts' soul was sweet and pure;
Though the piglet must endure
Taunts and jibes, his heart was gold.
When Helga joined the Founders four,
She brought her snuffling pet along;
And while they made a Sorting song,
The little pig listened behind the door.
"Whichever House assigned to you:
Lion, Badger, Eagle, Snake,
One of Four; a quarter you make,
Of all the students at this school..."
"This school?" A voice rang through the Hall
"We have not yet conceived a name...
If the Four are part of the Same,
What Same is this, what are we called?"
But, just then, a snuffling nose,
Oinked and grunted from the ground
Near Godric's feet – he looked and found
A small pig drooling on his clothes
"Hogwarts!" Helga cried in shock
"He's my pet," she told her friends,
As she contritely made amends;
Vanishing the drool from Godric's sock.
"An ugly beast," cold Slytherin cried,
Eyeing Hogwarts with distaste.
He moved his chair away in haste
When Hogwarts trotted to his side.
"Ugly, but good," said Helga, stung.
"A better heart you would not find
In many breasts of our own kind.
Don't laugh, good friends; he's highly-strung."
But Hogwarts looked into their eyes,
Through his own, so wide and clear,
And gave a piggy grin so dear –
His spirit glowed bright through his disguise.
"Not ugly after all, maybe,"
Admitted grudging Slytherin.
Good Helga Hufflepuff hid her grin,
And sat the hoglet on her knee.
Rowena, thoughtful, raised her fist.
"Back to where we were before
This piglet butted through the door –
A name for the school; think of this:
"We'll take kids from fen and moor,
From hill and vale; a muddled mix.
This raggedness we'll try to fix
By Sorting and splitting into Four.
"This ugly division is not right –
But, built by friends, this blessed place
Can never fall; it's strong and safe,
And its heart glows with love and light..."
The other Founders slowly smiled.
"Like little Hogwarts!" Helga said,
And Ravenclaw inclined her head.
"Are we agreed to be so styled –
"'Hogwarts School'? This piglet small
Reveals the love and warmth inside
That thankfully no faults can hide:
Hogwarts, symbol for us all."
And so was born the good school's name
And so the castle then was known.
Built with assorted lumps of stone,
But its heart a warm, strong flame.