-No, you certainly can't.
-Yes, I certainly can.
-No you CAN'T!
-Yes I CAN.
A pair of blue eyes gazed the owners of these two voices, trying to get a decent meal without the annoying voice of two adults arguing about… What was about? He can't even remember why the discussion started. Looking anywhere but the place where the two Jounins kept yelling but now with two kunais, one in each hand. Trying to look for an explanation but no success on it, a familiar presence arrived to the same spot where he was.
Sakura took seat next to Naruto and ordered her usual vegetarian ramen, after all she kept on diet, 'cause Ino just "stole" her, the new skirt she was about to buy. Next time she'll get the blouse that Ino was dreaming since summer started, well Sakura will get it first 'cause she has the money and Ino has too much breast to fit, anyway. While waiting she looked to the same direction where Naruto was looking "Geez… they're still on that? Why don't they give up? It's getting annoying".
-I told you, you're incapable of doing it without getting hurt.
-Yes I'm perfectly capable and without a single drop of pain.
Naruto sighed and ordered another bowl of Pork ramen, this was simply getting annoying and the worst part is that he can't even remember why the discussion started; he could barely remember that it was Old Hag's fault.
2 weeks before
Tsunade was walking to her usual bar when Naruto saw her coming. Naruto ran to her to say hi and surprisingly she said hi back, with good humor and even smiled at him. At first Naruto thought it was a trap, blinked several times and placed his left hand on his back looking for a kunai but gave up when the old woman didn't do a thing.
-What's up with the good humor, old hag?.- Still blinking.
-Nothing in particular.- trying to ignore the "old hag" part and kept smiling.
Naruto closed his eyes in disbelief and walked a few steps closer to her in order to check if everything, his mind recorded, was alright.
-Nee…. Who are you? What have you done with the old hag?.- making circles around Tsunade checking if she was the real she, by touching in certain parts that well… shouldn't be touched by anyone, well maybe Dan could.
Tsunade blinked at first but rage came second and third…. SLAP obviously this sent Naruto two blocks away from Tsunade. While rubbing his cheek and the other parts that were injured, Naruto followed her to the bar and checked if she was there. At the door was Shizune with Ton Ton in her arms, who greeted him and asked him if by any chance he had seen Tsunade, Naruto pointed to the bar. Shizune sighed and then smiled, Naruto was getting suspicious, everybody seemed so happy today.
-Ano… Shizune? Why granny seems so happy today?.
Shizune blinked a few times then she smiled again, giving a little pat on the top of his head.
-Oh, nothing in particular.
Naruto started to get pissed. Why everybody gave him the same crap of answer? Instead of letting Shizune enter to the bar, he looked at her with clear anger in his eyes.
-Oy! Granny's servant… Tell me why old hag is so happy or I'll make Ton Ton a pretty good lunch for today.- pointing with a kunai to Ton Ton, who tried to hide the best loose this it could in Shizune arms.
Shizune sighed but continue smiling. She nodded and asked him, with the right hand, to come closer.
-It's just that… Tsunade is about to win the first bet, in her whole life.
Naruto crossed his arms over his chest and closing his eyes then Shizune with a gesture dragged him to the bar, where Tsunade just got in. There were a few tables, each with six chairs on them. The manager was at the bar with five people around him. Naruto recognized them by their particular characteristics. First was the smoke dude with his particular cloud over him, next was the kunoichi that seemed to be married with the colour red, then the violet violent weirdo with fishnets all over her body, after there was his sensei with his usual book in his nose and at the end was Tsunade grinning widely.
Naruto was about to walk to them when Shizune stopped him, he looked at her puzzled, Shizune placed her index finger on her lips and smiled, then pointed at a table next to the bar for both to sit. Both walked to that direction, in order to hear them clearly, without dragging too much attention to them. They were silent, just drinking their respective beverages; Tsunade was the one who broke the silence.
-Say Hatake, which volume are you reading now?
Kakashi stopped reading and looked to Tsunade a little bit concerned, just a little. The other three shinobi looked at Tsunade quizzically also, what was she up to? She never approved that her sannin partner spent his whole life writing porn novels instead of training, getting a job, or whatever but that. Tsunade ignored their stares and continued looking directly to Kakashi, who returned to his reading.
-Volume 6.- turning the page and ignoring completely the fifth Hokage.
-Did you already get to the part where the nurse and the doctor make it out on his desk?
Even Ton Ton dropped his jaw to the table. All in the bar, including the manager looked shocked and terrified to the Hokage, except Shizune who continued smiling. Did all hear what she said? Or is it a consequence of the alcohol in their veins?. Now Kakashi stopped fully the "research" and looked confused, but really concerned to Tsunade. "Did she just say what I imagine she said?"
-Actually I find more interesting the third volume. In particular the diving part at the pool.- smiling and taking another gulp of her cold sake.
Asuma dropped his cigar on the bar, "what the hell is happening?". He looked to Kurenai who was the same as he, jaw ready to receive as many flies as Konoha could breed. Anko had a little blush on her cheeks but with the jaw fully open. Ok, every person in Konoha knows that Kakashi is an hentai and isn't afraid to admit it. But the Hokage? One of the three sannin, reading those scum books and sharing its contents to the public? No… not any public… To Kakashi?!.
Tsunade continued drinking and smiling, once in a while she stared to Kakashi, who hadn't look elsewhere but her.
-Oh come on! You wouldn't expect the Hokage just to do paperwork and research the whole time, right?.- Giving another gulp to her sake.- Plus I've been partner of that hentai baka for more years than the ones you lived.- Pointing at Kakashi with her right index.
Anko was a little furious but also disappointed. How come the Hokage be as low as Kakashi, by reading those things?! They don't even deserve the name book. Anko closed her mouth and her right hand became a punch. Tsunade noticed this and smiled wider "It's working".
-So? Don't you think the same ne… Kakashi-kun?.- giving a wink and ordering another bottle of sake from the stony-stone barman.
The barman reacted and went to the back of the bar to reach another container of sake, meanwhile the fist of Anko was becoming red by the time and also trembling with anger. Tsunade kept looking to Kakashi who was with the same expression, total dumbness. The barman came back giving her another bottle which Tsunade enjoyed immensely with one gulp.
-Quite great I must admit but well it's hard to quit reading once you get started, but I'm a woman… I can stop it whenever I want.- Liking the corner of her lips dragging the copy ninja's attention to this movement.
-Unlike someone I know.
The tension was broken with these last four words, now the attention was on the smirking violet haired kunoichi. Anko looked at Kakashi with anger but with a triumphant smile on her lips. Kakashi gained his composure and started to breath normally. He took again his book and resumed his reading. Asuma took another cigarette from the back of his jacket and Kurenai was looking directly to Anko, waiting for her next move.
-See? Back to the fantasy world where he can't escape, no matter what.- drinking another bit of her candy vodka shake.- Even if his life depended on it.
-I can perfectly manage my reading habits for your information, Mitarashi.- still reading and without even looking at her.
-Oh yeah… I can notice.- pointing directly to the book that was still open.
Kakashi looked at her with his lazy eye, Anko was smiling and waiting for a response. Kakashi sighed and took his goblet of red wine and waved it in the air.
-I can.- still waving the goblet and reading.
-So why is the book still open, eh? Hatake.
Tsunade noticed that Kakashi just frowned and was getting a little annoyed by the challenging words of the kunoichi.
-I don't have to explain myself to someone who can't control her habits with the sweet things, like the dango.- drinking a bit of the wine so fast that only Tsunade noticed.
-And this comes from someone who sees the words Icha-Icha and immediately sells his soul, for a piece of that crap.- holding tighter the glass on her left hand.
-At least I don't go hyper any time I get the chance to eat sweets. .- closing his book.
-At least I don't get hard, every time I read those things.- standing up.
-At least I don't get fat by reading my books.- looking directly to her
-At least I won't get blind for eating candies.
-I certainly will not get blind for that.- saving the book in his left pocket.
-You're half the way.- pointing to the only visible eye.- you lazy hentai shinobi, who can't live a week without his beloved porn books.
-I certainly can live without them, but in your case you'll be dead without a single drop of sugar flooding in your veins in one day.
-I can manage, unlike you.
-No you can't, Dango lover.
-Yes, I CAN! Porn freak.
-No, You CAN'T! Sweet slave.
A/N: Well this is my first fic in about… mmm let me see… ah yeah… 3 years hehehe ' well the career choice, the homework, job, housework, etc dragged my whole energy plus I've been too lazy to write and when I got the energy and the time I just… forget the idea hehehe. But thanks to someone in particular I decided to write again… thank you TwoTails. Well this is also my first fic in English, did you notice? Well I'm from Mexico and I can't write very well in English, I can read it but writing… a whole new world turururururu arg… ejem musical thing got in me sorry… hehehe . Well hope you enjoy it, there's much to go and to check (grammar and spelling). See ya next time.
P.S: Again thanks to TwoTails for encouraging me to write again.