How the Head Boy and Girl are really chosen.

Summary: When strange things in life occur Pansy is amazed to discover that the choosing of the heads isn't dignified at all and she watches in disgust as Hermione and Draco become the heads of the school.


There are strange things that happen in life that are totally unexpected.

Moments that occur that one has little explanation for why they happened. Or how they occurred at all.

One of these moments was how Adolf Hitler decided to abandon wizardry completely and become an artist. He realised soon after that this was a bad idea and ended up restarting the War to End all Wars, which became progressively known as World War Two.

Another, and more relevant moment was the founding of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a result of what happened when four De'dannan Academy drop-out students decided to try and invent a new type of alcohol to drown their sorrows. Rowena Ravenclaw, (expelled for her contrary views that the wizarding world and muggle world should just push the stupid Roman armies out of the Isles and be done with it) put her expertise together with her go-lucky friend Helga Hufflepuff (true fashion drop-out, she preferred to do funner things…) and created the best place to be. The Hog's Warts. A barplace then two old friends (Godric Gryffindor, and Salazar Slytherin; … both failed.) decided to get extremely drunk and Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry was founded.

The rules put in place are created from someone else trying make sense of a very drunken night.

Another one, and the last moment to be used was when Percy Weasley won the right to be Head Boy.

Why? Because we all know Percy Weasley has never before touched a drop of alcohol.


It was the last night of the sixth year and Hogwarts Main Hall couldn't look more different, all tables had been removed except one and instead of the former benches chairs were all over the place. At the present all contenders for Head Boy sat around said table in competition all to see who would win.

Pansy Parkinson, a girl who could proudly say she grew into her face (infact she felt very insecure about the fact her nose still reminded her of a pug but that was it.) and had done herself up to the best degree, was not impressed.

She'd spent hours preparing herself, straightening her fine blonde hair and making herself less pale and pink and then choosing just the right robes that clung and hung in just the right places. She'd made sure they were Slytherin Green to bring out the green in her teal eyes. And here her efforts were wasted. Nobody was going to notice her in this competition.

After all, who would bother when they were stone drunk.

Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry determinded their Head Boy and Girl with the last girl and boy standing.

In an open drinking competition.

Pansy Parkinson was not impressed.

"So who do you think will win?" Pansy asked as she approached a girl sitting astride a chair analysing the guys with the piles of shot glasses in front of them. The girl shrugged.

"I'd say Zabini, because of his heritage he should have a better resistance to alcohol." Pansy scoffed.

"Nah, Zabini loses to Draco every time he tries. Draco's been drinking with his family since he was five." The girl nodded, as if taking in that information.

"That would explain the braindamage." Pansy gritted her teeth and assumed the girl was not in Slytherin and probably in an another opposed house.

"Aren't you going to cheer for one of the guys from your house?" She sneered and the girl scoffed, fiddling with one of her bracelets.

"Nah, only Seamus has a chance and he's already under the table." She pointed at the Irishman who seemed quite content to have a conversation in Gaelic to whoever would listen. The interesting fact was that Gregory every now and then with his girlfriend Lilith would answer or understand something that was being said and roar back in an answering Gaelic verse. She'd forgotten that under all the stupidity Gregory was Irish. You just couldn't tell because of rarity that he opened his mouth, infact it was such a rare occasion that people would be surprised at the sound of his voice.

"Your not voting for Weasel or Pothead?" Pansy asked curiously and the girl grinned.

"Why would I? They lose to me every time." With that she raised a glass.

"Seems like Malfferrets won." Pansy looked over to see the other boys under the table and Draco was looking right at them. Most of the girls were declining the drinks that came with the girls round but the mysterious girl smiled.

"Anyone up for a challenge?" She asked whole heartedly and Lavender groaned.

"Hermione, I do not intend to get stoned drunk and let you lead me to the lake to go swimming again. It was awful." The other girls had similar ideas and Hermione sighed. Pansy felt herself prickling. There was no way she was going to let the Gryffindor Golden Girl get the badge without a drop of alcohol in her. She grabbed a shot glass.

The end of the night was filed with Flying Pink Elephants.

Pansy was embarrassed to admit that Hermione had won, hands down and had later drunken the rest of bottle after Pansy had gone to lala land. She had heard afterwards that Hermione insisted that Muggles made stronger alcohol.

Wizard stuff was weak.

Pansy didn't want to test the experiment.

Author Note: Written some lonely night at the beginning of March after being taken to the pokies sometime and realising that one gets drunk quicker by drinking alcohol with a straw. It tasted lemony.

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