I don't own these characters.
A/N: This is my first Naruto fanfic. The pairing is Shikamaru/Temari.
Three simple words
1: Mouth movements
"So, I'm leaving," Temari announced, standing by the plain, dull blue door. Her voice was strong, despite what she was about to do and the turmoil that she was internally going through because of what she was about to do. She was speaking to her long time boyfriend, who was lying on the sofa as if everything was all right. They both knew otherwise, though. Everything was not all right and may never be again.
Shikamaru, who was resting comfortably in the grove that his long-time lounging had created in the soft tan couch, knew exactly what the blonde kunoichi was speaking about, even though her words seemed so ordinary. He was not quite as relaxed as he appeared because he was all too aware what she meant, but he was not going to allow her to see him squirm considering the fact that it might change her mind or she might feel satisfied and he was not about letting her think that she won something. It was not that she was leaving and was coming back at some point in time like she would any other day of the week, but that Temari was leaving forever and Shikamaru knew that good and well. One would think that he would stop her considering the fact that he really did not want her to walk out of the door, but he stayed parked on his beloved couch, looking as if he did not care, and said the exact opposite of what one would think a boyfriend who loved his girlfriend would allow to leave his mouth at such a critical time.
"Okay, well, bye," Shikamaru replied while holding in a yawn and making sure to sound as indifferent as possible. He even had the nerve to put his hand to his mouth to cover up the yawn that he allowed to escape after a few seconds. It was almost like he was bored and did not concern himself with the fact that he was about to lose the love of his life. He had to appear that way if he wanted things to go the way that he believed they should.
Temari appeared rather shocked with his nonchalant response, obviously not expecting him to be all right with her leaving. Her eyes were wide from the surprise, looking as if a missile was coming toward her and there was no way for her to get out of the way in time. Her breath even hitched in her chest, but she caught herself enough to make sure he did not see. She fixed her outward expression, but on the inside she was falling apart. How could he…how could he be so fine with her just leaving? Maybe he did not get what she meant, the blonde considered. No, he had to know because he was a genius and as stupid as he acted, she knew quite well that the lazy bastard was not dumb.
Her initial reaction was actually replaced with anger very quickly as she realized that Shikamaru knew exactly what she was talking about and yet he was acting so nonchalant about everything. Her turquoise eyes flared with a fury that the brunette ninja knew all too well and she had to resist the urge to go pummel that lazy, good-for-nothing, bump-on-a-log. A lone bead of frozen sweat ran down Shikamaru's cheek because he could practically feel her rage radiating off of her in poisonous, murderous waves. He was silently praying that Temari did not act on her feelings as she usually did, although he had planned for plenty of bruises. Things with her could go two ways, he figured. She could either beat the piss out of him before leaving or she could leave without incident because of how angry she had to be.
It turned out that Temari was too furious, and secretly hurt, to murder her jerk of a boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend as he was, right now and just wanted to get the hell out of there. She was actually crushed to the very core of her being and needed to get out of there before that manifested itself in some unflattering manner. She yanked open the door, almost pulling the blasted thing out of the wall before her soul shattered in front of him, and then slammed it so hard on her way out that the force knocked a few pictures off of the wall. Shikamaru did not bother to pick the photos up; in fact, he did not bother to get off of the sofa.
The chocolate-haired male did sit up just enough to watch the door as his beloved left, longing buried deep in his eyes behind a barrier of disinterest. His heart lurched, begging him to go after that wonderful woman. He refused to listen to that silly organ, knowing that it often led to terrible decisions. His head knew what was best and he was going to stick with the plan, despite the pleading coming from every part of his body, including most parts of his brain. Shikamaru rubbed his head and then flopped back down on the couch. He sighed, a depressing sound. His nerves were still urging him to run after the blonde woman, but he fought against that; it took all of his willpower to remain planted right where he was like an old redwood tree. He would not chase her; he had decided that a while ago. Once she left, he was going to let her go.
Shikamaru had decided that he was going to let Temari leave once she worked up the will to walk out on him because he thought that it was best for her. She needed to be away from him, on her own. Yeah, it reminded him of the tired cliché "if you love something, let it go, blah, blah, blah…" Usually, he would have thought something like that was stupid, but it worked out too well in his life at the moment. He had to let Temari go because it was the right thing to do and he loved her.
The lazy ninja just thought that it was time for his beautiful blonde to move on with her life. They had been together officially for almost five years and before that they had been dancing around each other due to their…unconventional personalities. They clashed and fought more often than anything else, but the thing that really compelled him to release her forever once she left was because he felt like their relationship was stagnant, which he had come to believe was all his fault.
The brunette shinobi felt like he was the reason that his relationship with Temari was the same now as it had been since they first officially became a couple. He did not move forward unless forced to and he put up such a resistance with Temari when she was trying to force him that even she, the strong-willed spitfire, gave into his laziness sometimes. He mostly did it because he liked annoying her for some odd reason. Usually, he would not have bothered with being so frustrating with someone, but there was something about Temari that he enjoyed seeing her eyes flare with anger because of his indifferent behavior. So, their relationship was not really going anywhere because he wanted to act out as some form of defiance toward her pushiness and when he stopped and thought about it, he thought that was rather selfish of him.
At first, Shikamaru thought that he was just being himself and getting back at someone that he believed to be annoying. But, eventually, he realized that he had sabotaged his own relationship with a woman that he deeply loved for some reason that was beyond him. He had put them into a place that was not healthy for a relationship because it was not moving anywhere; it was not going forward and it was not like they could go back much considering the fact that they were right where they started for the most part. They were just ruined and used together, like flat tired on a bike. It was right to let her go, he told himself. It was the right thing to do.
Now, Temari could find someone that would do right by her. She would be able to find someone that would not purposely be difficult and ruin the relationship before it even got out of the starting gates. Yeah, so it was right to let her go. Doing the right thing never felt so awful, like slow, mind-numbing, flesh-peeling torture, but at least she would be able to find some happiness and that was his main concern, Shikamaru told himself. She was his main concern.
Temari actually stood outside of the apartment for a few minutes, hoping, praying, silently begging for Shikamaru to come out and bring her back in. All he had to do was open the door and she would leap into his strong, somewhat skinny arms. She would be more than willing to talk things out with him if he only showed some vague interest in salvaging what was left of the thing that they called a relationship. The moment that she was waiting for never arrived.
A look of deep sorrow flashed through Temari's aqua eyes as she realized that Shikamaru was not going to come out; he was probably still lounging on the sofa, she thought. He was probably still in there acting like nothing was going on. The bastard did not care that she had left him! Her heart clenched tightly in her chest when that thought crossed her mind; he really did not care. The idea made the blonde feel close to physically ill, which she disliked a great deal, of course, and wished for the feeling to vanish. She turned to walk off, still harboring the hope that he would leave the apartment and chase after her. Did she not mean enough to him to chase her? As she got farther and farther away from the apartment, she guessed not. Damn him, she cursed in her mind. Damn him to Hell!
Temari felt like doing something that she had not felt like doing in a very long time; she wanted to cry. He was such a lazy jerk! And she loved him, which would explain why it hurt so much that he did not come after her. She felt as if all of her internal organs were being slowly dissolved in acid as she got further from the apartment. She lurched a few times, vomit trying to escape her stomach, but she swallowed the vile-tasting fluid back down, hoping to bury the emotional agony that she was feeling along with avoiding throwing up.
Why did Shikamaru not come after her, Temari's sorrow-filled mind demanded to know. For that matter, why did he let her walk out? Was that idiot just calling her bluff? He had to know her better than that, she thought. She was going to keep going and she was going to be out of his life forever. Was that really what he wanted? If so, fine! He could have just what he wanted then. She was never going to come back to him. That would teach him to be so nonchalant! Right, she was never, ever going back to him.
In fact, Temari was going to go home now that she was not bothering with Shikamaru and his annoying, shiftless ass. She had been staying in Konoha with Shikamaru as a diplomat for her village, but she was not looking to be there anymore if it meant that she might run into his ugly, stupid mug. So, she was going to go home, after telling the Hokage about it anyway and then having to tell Gaara about it when she finally did get home. It was not much a big deal thankfully. She had to answer a bunch of irksome questions from the Hokage about why she was leaving her appointment, which Temari verbally danced around until the other blonde figured out why Temari needed to get the hell out of the village. Once the reason why Temari wanted to leave was wordlessly in the air, it would seem that letting Temari go back home was easier done than said.
On her way strolling home, Temari reminded herself why she had walked out on Shikamaru to make sure that she held onto her anger and did not allow any weak, sentimental feelings interfere with what she was doing. He was such a lazy jerk and she was pretty sure that he did not feel the same way about her as she did about him. After all, if he loved her like she did him, then he would have at least come after her. Instead, he stayed his lethargic ass on the sofa and was so lazy that he did not even lift his head to watch her walk out of the door, out of his life. There was just no way that he could love her on the same level as she did him in her opinion because of his actions, or lack there of, when she left.
If Shikamaru loved her like she did him, he would do things for her, Temari believed. She did not even mean spur-of-the-moment, romantic things, just things that she requested of him. He always put up such resistance; actually, a hell of a lot of resistance for such a lazy bastard. Sometimes, it was cute, but other times it was annoying. It gave off the air that she was not worth his time and that he did not care enough to get off of his sorry ass to do some of the simplest tasks for her.
Why did she even stay with him for so long? Temari could not answer that one for the moment aside for the fact that she loved him. She did now know why she loved Shikamaru, though. She was too angry to process and reason such a thing out; she did not care to do such a thing either because it might have interfered with her rather sound decision. All she knew now was that she wanted to get away from him. Away from all of the pain and ache that he had caused him by not stopping her from walking out of that door, by seeming to not care.
The jerk! He was supposed to come after her, Temari screamed in her mind; her blood was starting to boil from her fury as she thought about how things went. Her heart once again clenched around itself, causing her agony because of Shikamaru and his inaction. He was supposed to show her that she meant something to him by not allowing her to stroll right out of his life. The jerk!
When Temari finally got back to her village, she sighed. It was a very mixed noise that came out of her throat. It was a sound of relief because she was glad to be back home. She actually missed the depressing, dreary looking village. It might not make the best postcard for tourism, but it was home and it had that feel to it. Something like the apartment that she used to share with a certain pineapple-headed, lazy ass whose name she would not even think since he had the nerve to just lie on the couch while she left.
The sigh that escaped the blonde female was also one of despair. She was now home, away from the love of her life. It was enough distance between her and Shikamaru to actually cause her some anxiety over it. She knew that she was not going back to him after a short visit to her village and her brothers. She was actually done with him. Being home seemed so final to her relationship with him and her body and emotions did not seem to agree with that assessment.
Temari still felt sick over the breakup, although she no longer felt like she was going to throw up. She was nervous, but she was pretty sure that would pass. She often felt tense when she was away from Shikamaru for about a day. Now, yes, the separation that she was experiencing now was different, but she was still confident that it would not last forever. She just had to wait for all of those feelings to pass and she would be all right, she told herself.
The aqua-eyed ninja went to inform Gaara that she was home. She did not explain why she had left her diplomatic post and he did not ask why. She was not sure if it was because he could guess what happened or if he just did not want to know, but she did not press and she was glad that he did not either. After all, she would feel professionally embarrassed to say that she left her job because she would not be able to handle to emotional stress of seeing her ex-boyfriend. Her brothers would probably laugh her out of the village if she said something like that, which was a disturbing thought in and of itself considering the fact that it would mean Gaara would find something funny.
After having all of the official business out of the way, Temari retired to her old room, which was where she stayed when she visited home anyway. She collapsed on to her bed and proceeded to do something that she never would have conceived of doing, she cried. She cried because she had left Shikamaru and because that lazy bastard did not come after her, not that she was totally sure that she would have gone back to him if he did come after her. But, damn it, he could have tried! The bastard!
Next time: Shikamaru and Temari try to get along without each other.