Logical translation in English: Bleach is not mine.

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Cheesy Lines Gone Sweet Chili

by: shin

Chapter 1: DO YOU HAVE A NAME?

Abarai Renji thought he was going to spend another 'ordinary' day at school. Little did he know that the gods already started printing the word -havoc- in his tale.

As the red-head entered the school property, girls started to squeal and drool at the sight of him. He let out a sigh. Since the first day he and the other shinigamis arrived in this gakuen, girls started to behave that way. It's a scenario he got used to. Pshaw! Ignoring the so-called fan girls, he entered the building.

At the end of the hall, few steps outside his room, Renji saw a familiar auburn-haired girl flooding his way with tears. Surrounding her were other familiar faces. Renji could tell that anyone present in that floor can feel the sullen aura radiating from the group.

"Hey," Renji approached them casually.

"Orihime?" Renji was gentle, "why are you crying?" yet blunt. When soft sobs were given to him as an answer, Renji looked around the group surrounding the damsel in distress, searching for someone. Weird, he thought. That 'girl' should be the one comforting her.

Since Renji didn't have any idea on what the hell happened, he decided that it's better to let them be.

Before fully leaving his gloomy classmates, the red-head punk gave heroic words that he supposed could give some sort of comfort.

"It'll be okay." Renji gently placed a hand on Orihime's head. "I'm sure Arisawa was beating the crap out of those who made you cry." To his surprise, his words trigger more of the girl's tears from falling.

Ok. That means comforting was definitely out of his career. Renji gave a small bow to the eerie group before marching towards the door of the classroom. As he laid foot in front of the door, it suddenly swung open making Renji blinked in astonishment. The door exposed Keigo and Chizuru.

Two dispirited classmates wobbled their way out of the room with disheveled appearance and the word defeat written all over their face. They looked like forsaken souls, the red-head noted.

"What's going on?" Renji asked while eyeing their unusual facade.

Pairs of depressed eyes looked at the red-haired dude before looking inside the room. With synchronized movement, Chizuru and Keigo pointed their index finger inside the room. Renji followed their gaze. He was thrilled on how the room clearly screamed danger and in the midst of the wailing walls near the window was Orihime's best friend.

Tatsuki let out a deep troubled sigh. She limply sat on her usual place, her proper seat to be exact; and due to the inevitable situation she ran through yesterday, she couldn't help but let her mind flew somewhere else. This girl was well aware that everybody was looking at her, brows either furrowed or twitched. She wanted to react, really. That's the truth. But how could she react? if there's a he-devil and his partner threatening her if she dare talked.

She mused over the things that happened this morning. Her problem started when some of her classmates noticed that something was absolutely wrong. Tatsuki acted weird after setting foot at the school this morning, - that's a fact. She walked passed everyone without a word of greeting. Friend or acquaintance, she snubbed them all. She posed a stern face and emitted an uninviting air. In the end, Orihime gave up persuading her to share her burden. Since Tatsuki hadn't exchange any word with anybody, they were all very puzzled.

Orihime cried. It's her fault! She made her cry... Another troubled sigh escaped her lips. If it wasn't because of the bet, her secret and the he-devil, she wouldn't be like this. Tatsuki fixed her gaze outside the window to ignore some probing eyes.

"Arisawa!" that annoying voice. As if a reflex, Tatsuki gritted her teeth the annoying punk, she thought. Heaven must be really mad for letting unfortunate things happen to her. The owner of the voice approached the girl and stood in front her desk.

Leave me alone bastard! She hoped she could have thrown those words to the annoying Abarai.

Renji sure observed an attitude. Using his knuckles, he poked her cheeks.

Still gazing outside the window, Tatsuki closed her to summon a life-time support of composure before she slowly faced him with icy glares.

"How could you make Orihime cry?" Renji arrogantly scolded. He put his arms in front of his chest and eyed the glaring opponent. "Saying you'll protect her? How could you protect someone if you're the one hurting her? Cold hearted." He scoffed. The red-haired punk stood there for a while, waiting for Tatsuki to stir and shout at him.

Tatsuki clenched the hem of her skirt. Annoying. To strengthen her self-control, she counted to three and closed her eyes. BAKA Ichigo! Blackmailer! After she screamed in her mind, she took a deep breath and looked away, ignoring Abarai.

Renji did not expect this kind of lifeless reaction. He raised a brow, "What's the matter? Feeling weak today?" he asked. "Oh. Sorry, you are always a weakling." He smirked and poked Tatsuki's cheeks again.

It's obvious that Renji's attempts of getting into her nerves were all in vain. He wasn't enjoying this kind of conversation plus he looked totally foolish in front of everyone. No more playing Mr. Nice guy Arisawa! Renji snapped.

"What the hell Arisawa!" Renji hammered his hands on the desk causing Tatsuki to levitate a little.

The ebony-haired girl mustered all her strength to ignore the punk. She managed to roll her eyes and yawn. She must admit the fact that she was in pure bliss seeing Renji all worked up even though she just sat there not using words nor force to harass him.


Tatsuki looked up at the infuriated guy who shouted her name with disgust. She smirked. Dream on Abarai! I won't waste my energy at you!

Everyone witnessing the 'friendly' greetings between the two was frightened at how the killing atmosphere penetrated their skin. Renji was annoyed. No, scratch that – he was not annoyed – but very very annoyed. Tatsuki on the other hand had unreadable yet cold expressions.

Renji angrily gripped the edge of Tatsuki's table. He gritted his teeth. He didn't understand the odd pang inside him but one thing is for sure, he wanted the composed girl in front of him to speak, retort, and fight.

Looking at Tatsuki, whose eyes by the way were wandering outside the window, a thought hit Renji. He glared at Tatsuki. She was like a deaf, dumb, autistic, out of this world creature. Renji loathed the way this common human ignored him.

"Shit!" Renji snarled. For a minute he thought of something, a plot to win her game.

Renji lowered a little to get a good look at Tatsuki's face. He decreased the space between them, very close he inhaled what she breathed out.

Tatsuki evenly stared at him. Her heart beat increases. Dammit! My heartbeat always thumps abnormally when he's around.

"Your name is Tatsuki Arisawa…" Renji plainly said earning a frown from the girl.

"Well if your name is Tatsuki Arisawa… " Renji was undeniably cunning as he stated, "Mind if I call you MINE?"

Tatsuki felt her heart jump out from her chest. She rolled her eyes. What is this? A joke?

First attempt, failed. Renji fumed.

While the two 'friends' were having a little tittle-tattle in their own way, Ichigo entered the room. The latter spotted Tatsuki and mischievously grinned at her. Renji noticed it and felt an impulsive twinge of bizarre pain. He stared back at the girl.

Another line hit Renji. He bent and snatched Tatsuki's right leg, causing her to create a squeaking sound.

"Your must be tired 'coz your running in my mind all night."

Tatsuki scowled. One word- CORNY. That's another failure for the red punk.

For the next few hours, students observed a stoic Tatsuki and an amusing Renji.

"Hey Arisawa! Is this the key?" Renji lifted up a key. "The key to open your heart?"

For the record, that was another preposterous line by Abarai that was disregarded by the all-composed Arisawa.

When the sensei left the room, Renji occupied the seat in front of Tatsuki, faced her and acted. He cupped his hands into his ears. "Hear that?" he whispered. "Is that a plane or just my heart taking off?" Renji thought Tatsuki was so damn good in ignoring all foolishness that he said. Truth was, the Karate expert poured all her energy to control her emotions.

Attempt number 21:

Renji acted again. ".ow" he gave the expressionless Tatsuki a painful look, "I think I bruised myself falling for you." The girl just stared at him.

Attempt number 45:

During a classroom discussion, Renji raised his hand. The Sensei called him.

"I'm gay." All jaws dropped.

Ichigo, Mizuiro, Keigo, Yumichika and Ikkaku embraced their 'drop-er-dead-err-gorgeous-errr-body' . Rangiku couldn't help but laugh out loud and as for El Capitan Hitsugaya, he helplessly palm-faced.

Renji dramatically put his hand on his chest and said, "But TATSUKI ARISAWA can convert me!" the class squealed and cheered.

Tatsuki stuck her tongue out. Fuck! How many cheesy lines did he know, anyways? And he only has a pea sized brain so how come he memorized those?

"Giant polar bear!" Renji energetically said.

Ms. Arisawa, scan the room and grimaced. She really wanted to fight this guy, words or physically.

"Hmmm… I thought that will break the ice." The red-punk said in a stern tone although a faint defeated tone was audible.

Get lost Abarai! I will be like this for a week and FYI it is only day one and you sounded like defeated.