Disclaimer: I do not own (or claim to own) the rights to Ouran High School Host Club. Don't sue.

Chapter I
Kyoya Plans It

Kyoya stared at the information on his new laptop, wondering at the accuracy of it. In a recent survey concerning the Ouran High School Host Club regular costumers were asked to pair up the host club members.

Tamaki had suggested it and Kyoya had obediently followed through, but in the Shadow King's opinion the answers were extremely predictable. Hikaru and Kaoru would be matched together, as well as Hunny and Mori. Then the final match would be Tamaki and Haruhi. It left Kyoya completely out of the matching process, but it was something one should expect from sitting behind a computer instead of beside a customer.

However, the results of the surveys weren't quite that way. Hikaru and Koaru were still paired up, along with Hunny and Mori being a pair, but it was the last pair that had Kyoya confused. Instead of the predictable Haruhi and Tamaki pairing the majority of costumers had matched up Tamaki with Kyoya, leaving Haruhi to be unpaired.

Still, there was money to be made in this new information, and even though this time it involved selling himself out, Kyoya didn't plan on shying away.

Kyoya sat at his desk in the back corner of the room while the rest of the Ouran Host Club members entertained costumers. After thoroughly reviewing the possibilities and their probabilities he had come up with a plan.

Kyoya decided that things would progress better if Tamaki were not aware of the new and rather odd pairing.

Tamaki's acting was excellent as long as he himself thought it was real. Obviously all the lines he told his costumers were lies and obviously he was just acting as though he liked them all-but Tamaki believed fully that it was all real, and that's what made all the difference.

Whenever Tamaki acted consciously he was doomed to fail. His lines were forced and monotonous and everything about him was made dull and plain. To put it into the easiest terms: Tamaki just tried to hard when he decided to attempt to act.

No, Kyoya wouldn't tell Tamaki a thing. Let the idiot figure it out himself. It would be Kyoya's job to pine and go after the Prince. If the costumers viewed it as a one-sided love then so be it-whatever raised profits.

"Tamaki," Kyoya said, coming clear across the room towards the blonde haired boy. "I need to talk to you."

"Yeah? Do you have a problem? Is it about our profits?" Tamaki asked, immediately worried; Kyoya had never bothered anyone while they was busy hosting; the Shadow King said that it interfered with the Host Club's member's ability to woo their customers.

"Come with me to the back room for a moment," Kyoya ordered, taking Tamaki's hand and leading him along without waiting for even a nod or shake of his friend's head.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Tamaki asked, his voice getting louder and more desperate.

"Be quiet a moment," Kyoya demanded as he shut the back room's door. It was no surprise that Tamaki was acting like this, Kyoya had already predicted it.

"Kyoya," Tamaki whined, still holding on to his friend's hand, "You've never dragged me off before. Something's terribly wrong. Tell me; what is it?"

Kyoya didn't stop Tamaki's rambling with an answer; he just stood in front of his friend and made sure that he was still holding the blonde's hand.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?" Tamaki continued, "Is someone hurt? Did I do something wrong? Did the twins-"

Kyoya finally pulled Tamaki forward and gave him a hard kiss that lasted several moments.

Finally Tamaki grasped the situation and pulled away. "K-Kyoya? What did…did you just…I mean…"

"It was to get you to shut up," Kyoya explained calmly, "Nothing bad has happened. Father just wants me home right away."

"But…why didn't you just leave?" Tamaki asked, still confused by the entire situation.

"I knew that if I didn't tell you everyone would decide to form a search party for me. It would have cut into the budget and we can't afford that," Kyoya explained the question he knew he would have to answer.

"Why didn't you just tell me out there?" Tamaki asked, being unusually inquisitive. "You didn't have to drag me away."

"None of the costumers would want to see you start flipping out. I decided that it would be best if you had your little outburst in private," Kyoya brought to light.

"Did you really have to kiss me though?" Tamaki asked. "You could have just closed your hand over my mouth or something."

Kyoya just rolled his eyes. "I didn't want you slobbering all over my hand. You're losing valuable costumers," he reminded his friend suddenly before shoving Tamaki out the door to avoid any more questions.

After Tamaki had gotten back to his costumers Kyoya reached over to a small bookcase and removed the video recorder from its hiding place. He would have to make sure that he took off the audio before he started making copies, but with the handholding and especially the kiss the tape was guaranteed to make a small little fortune.

What did your father want?

That was the last thing Tamaki said to Kyoya before dashing off to find Haruhi. The question came as a small surprise to Kyoya; Tamaki normally didn't think about things that had happened even an hour before, let alone a day. Of course Kyoya had put it in his mind as a possibility, so he wasn't completely caught off guard when his friend had asked, but it definitely was not expected.

Of course Tamaki hadn't waited for an answer, which led Kyoya to believe the blonde idiot was just trying to be polite.

But Kyoya was back at his desk, not particularly caring about Tamaki or the other host club members as he went through the profits.

A loud cry of "Mom!" caused Kyoya to look up from the neatly written figures on the paper in front of him to gaze upon the image of a bawling Tamaki.

"Haruhi's being mean!" Tamaki explained to Kyoya as he continued to cry. "She won't wear a dress for her daddy! I wanted her to wear a dress when we entertained costumers."

"I won't allow it even if she does say yes," Kyoya replied, defending Haruhi's answer while he quickly and secretly set up a video recorder trained on Tamaki and pressed play. "It would make her lose too many costumers, and she can't afford that."

"But Kyoya!" Tamaki whined, crying harder as he sat on his knees on the floor. "I wanna see Haruhi in a dress!"

Kyoya strode over and sat down in front the president, immediately pulling Tamaki into a hug. He inwardly winced as his friend's tears stained his school uniform, but he said nothing about it. "It'll be okay," he forced himself to comfort, "I'll take care of everything, okay?"

"R-really?" Tamaki asked, lifting his head from Kyoya's chest to look his friend in the eye. He stopped crying as he returned the embrace. "Oh Kyoya!" the president shouted in the same voice he used with his costumers, "I'm so happy to know that you'd do that for me!"

"I'd do anything for you," Kyoya replied, already doing some statistics of how much the video would make in profits.

"Really?" Tamaki asked again as tears of happiness streamed down his face.

"Of course," Kyoya answered, trying to sound as sincere as possible. "Anytime you need anything from me all you have to do is ask."

"Oh Kyoya!" Tamaki gushed, squeezing the Shadow King tighter. "You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for!"

Kyoya smiled, trying hard to make it warm and inviting instead of cold and calculating. "You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that."

"Tamaki!" Hunny burst out, jumping from Mori's back to Tamaki's. "Are we opening the club soon?"

"We're ready to open right now," Kyoya declared as he pushed Tamaki off of him and stood up to brush himself off. "Open the doors," he commanded as he walked back to his desk and secretly turned off the camera.

This will be three chapters long...and pretty short compared to the other stories I'm writing. It's also basically done, I'm just going to be proof-reading and posting the chapters up, so it won't take up any time that I would use for the other stories I'm working on and it will be completely finished relatively soon.