Written by MoonlightDewz
Summary - Ptolemy belongs to Bartimaeus. Bartimaeus/Ptolemy
Disclaimer - Bartimaeus, Ptolemy, and the Bartimaeus trilogy belong to Jonathan Stroud. The song Gravity of Love belongs to Enigma and Michael Crétu. I am making no profit on this fanfiction except the nice reviews I hope to receive.
Author's Note - Heylo, MoonlightDewz here and I have finally finished reading the Batimaeus Trilogy, so please beware of spoilers for the books in this story.
This fanfiction will most likely be a one-shot, but if I get enough reviews, and enough ideas in my head, I may try to continue the story, somehow.
Also, this story is a yaoi so if you don't like it, then you may not want to read any farther.
Alright, now let's get started.
around and smell what you don't see
Close your eyes ... it is so clear
Ptolemy was a good master and a good magician.
Even though, by definition, the only good magician was a dead one, Ptolemy was a good master.
He was noble, smart, and kind.
He had his faults, but his good endowments outweighed the bad.
He was a friend, a confidant, and a lover.
He was all these things, and because of that, he was owned as firmly as any demon, djinni, or spirit.
The master belonged to his servant, his slave, his Rekhyt.
Ptolemy belonged to Bartimaeus.
From the first time the djinni touched his master's skin, to the first kiss, and the first Egyptian night, Ptolemy belonged to Bartimaeus.
My master belonged to me.
I can still remember the first time I touched him. Just touched his dark tan skin and felt it under my fingertips.
It was strange for me, almost a new experience. None of the magicians that I had had before had let me come within a few feet of them, no matter how tightly they had me under their control, let alone touch them.
Ptolemy was different.
the mirror, behind there is a screen
On both ways you can get in
Don't think twice before you listen to your heart
Follow the trace for a new start
When he first summoned me, asking me questions about the Other Place, I had lied. I lied because I thought that he was trying to trick me somehow. I believed that the only reason for his curiosity was to find new ways to enslave and torture other spirits and myself. I didn't know that the Other Place fascinated him, so after I realized that he wasn't trying to use my own information against me, I began to tell the truth.
Ptolemy knew that I had begun to trust him, so he let me out of my pentacle and we talked. He'd ask questions; I'd answer, truthfully, to the best of my knowledge. His dark eyes would light up when I spoke and I would smile despite myself.
After all, it was nice to have someone hang on my every word. No human, and a large amount of spirits for that matter, had ever listened to what I said so closely, and as I watched him watching me I began wondering what it would be like to touch him. 1 (Completely innocent.)
What would it be like to run my fingers against his shoulder or side? What would it be like to hold him? What would it be like to feel my lips against his? 2 (Okay, maybe not so innocent but on a side note, most spirits would not think these things about humans, especially their masters. Sure, there may be an instance or two when a spirit will remark about a humans looks, but that about as far as it goes. Don't get any ideas.)
I wondered and that when I realized something.
I was attracted to my master.
I was attracted to a girly-looking, thin to the point of being scrawny, sorcerer-child.
A boy king.
I hadn't even touched him in a friendly way yet. 3 (Okay I know how this looks but things were different in that time. People were married soon and had children early and often because they may not live to see their 20th birthday. Yes, Ptolemy was fourteen but, if he had been interested in the things he "should" have been, namely wives and the kingdom, he would have been married to a nice Egyptian girl and be expecting his first child. So stop looking at me like that.)
Of course, when I realized that I was attracted, both physically and emotionally, to Ptolemy, I nearly flung myself out the window. Spirits are not suppose to be attracted to humans, let alone their masters. 4 (See footnote 2) At first, I tried to convince myself that I was wrong, that my master had bad qualities that greatly outnumbered his good qualities, and that I shouldn't care about him. Some of these bad qualities included things such as his thin frame, or his black almost shoulder length girly hair, or his incessant need to know everything. However, try as I might I couldn't stop thinking of how beautiful he was, how kind his heart was, how, every time I was near him, I felt pleasantly warm and comfortable.
you need and everything you'll feel
Is just a question of the deal
In the eye of storm you'll see a lonely dove
The experience of survival is the key
To the gravity of love
So, it just so happened that a couple of days after I had been let to roam "free" outside of my pentacle, I decided I wanted to touch Ptolemy, just to see how he would react. For all I knew, even though he hadn't done anything to me in ways of punishment before, he could have banished me back to the pentacle and subject me to a number of magical tortures, just for having the courage to lay my hand on him.
The first time I touched him was at sunset, in his bedchambers and I had taken the form of a young man, older then Ptolemy, late teens with burgundy hair, tan skin, and yellow eyes. He had turned his back to me and, I'm not entirely sure what happened myself, but I must have reached out because my fingers were suddenly rested on Ptolemy's thin, bare shoulder. My touch was light and gentle, but he felt it and stopped. Then, he turned his head and looked at me with one of his slender, kol-lined, deep, dark eyes, and I froze up.
The way he looked at me, it was as if I had caught the attention of a very powerful marid who would like to swallow me whole. Ptolemy's eyes were so deep I felt that if I tripped or faltered I would drown. If I had any breath I would have held it in fear of upsetting the being that could crush me like a bug. I felt pinned, like a butterfly to a board and as I went to move my hand away so I could escape, my master spoke.
"What's wrong Rekhyt?" he asked, his voice soft and questioning, "Why do you look so amazed, have you never touched human flesh before?"
He didn't say it to sound smart. He wasn't being snide with his comment. He was really, truly asking me if I had never touched a human before, I could see it in his dark eyes.
I relaxed, my fingers gently running a little ways down his shoulder, feeling his warm, soft, tan skin. My eyes focused on my fingers and the curve of Ptolemy's shoulder. I spoke.
"Not so tenderly," I whispered, my fingers ever moving, feeling my master's life flowing inside of him, "Most of the contact I've had with humans is because I had an order to rip a hole in them."
Ptolemy sighed, and it wasn't a sigh of frustration or tiredness, but one of comfort, pleasure and as he turned his head to look out the window, I noticed that he did not pull away from me.
"I have asked so many questions of you, Rekhyt," he said, "Yet you must be curious about this world has well. Is there anything you would like to know?"
I had questions, so many questions, but I wasn't sure how to voice them to my master.
Why do I want to hold you in my arms right now and taste your throat with my lips?
Why is it that my desire for you has ensnared me?
Why am I in love with you?
"Why did you choose me?" I whispered, keeping myself from leaning down so I wouldn't do something I may regret.
"I chose you because you are spirited." My master said, "Your soul has not been broken by others and I felt that you would tell me what I wanted to know, not what I wanted to hear."
I nodded again, understanding his words. He wanted someone to tell him the truth, not what they thought would make him happy.
He continued, almost to low for me to hear, "I also…"
He didn't finish his sentence, his words trailing away as he sighed again, and this sigh was from exhaustion.
By now the sun had set and I pulled my hand away. I had many more questions, but they were ones I was going to have to work out for myself, and I could tell that Ptolemy was tired.
"I'll go keep watch." I said, and then turned toward the window. I saw Ptolemy nod out of the corner of my eye and as I began to move, I saw his hand come up and rest on his shoulder.
The one I had touched.
Changing into a lapwing, the bird flew through the window and perched on the roof, the moonlight reflected off its feathers. Had it been able to sigh, it would have.
I had a lot of thinking to do.
path of excess leads to
The tower of Wisdom
The path of excess leads to
The tower of Wisdom
The night I was going to leave for the army campaign, I sat with Ptolemy on the roof and he apologized to me for having to send me to the battlefield. I took the whole thing in stride, or at least I tried to. Out of all the other spirits my master commanded I was the strongest and the fastest, not to mention the most clever. 5 (Okay, maybe not but at least I was resourceful.) I would be the one to most likely survive, but that didn't make leaving any easier.
"Penrenutet will protect me while you are gone, have no fear." My master said to ease me, but I still worried.
For while I did believe that the other spirits could protect Ptolemy for the small amount of time I'd be gone, I feared what would happen to my master should I not return.
How long could the others protect him if I was dead?
Also, while Ptolemy would summon others in the case that I didn't come back, how could he be sure they wouldn't tear him limb from limb?
To many chances that something would happen, so many ifs. I didn't want to go.
"Now-see, they are lighting the watch fire on the tower." My master said, as I watched the moonlight shine against his form, it made his skin glow white, "The fleet is massing below. You must depart."
But I'd go for him.
"Alright then." I said, shifting my form from the loin that was on the roof to the young man with yellow eyes.
I was leaving, but I wanted to do one thing before I left, and I needed to resemble a human to do it. After all, I wasn't sure if I'd come back alive.
Ptolemy turned to look at me as I changed and stood, and holding out my hand, I helped him to his feet. My master's hands were thin and soft from writing and bookwork. He was no warrior with weapon calloused hands, or a farmer that had hands that were as tough as leather, just his small, warm, lithe hands with his gentle fingers.
How would he be safe without me to protect him?
I didn't let go of his hand.
I just looked at him, and his lithe frame and dark eyes and soft heart.
"Rekhyt?" He questioned me, and as I watched him watching me I threw caution to the wind and went with my plan.
I pulled him towards me and kissed him.
It was a soft kiss, quick and chaste, and sweet, but it was what I wanted. I pulled away slowly and backed away. I didn't look at him then, I was afraid that I might see something I didn't want to. I just turned on my heel and ran. I think I may have said goodbye as I ran to the edge of the roof, changing into a lapwing as I neared the edge, but I can't remember.
to think about it ...
That's the chance to live your life and discover
What it is, what's the gravity of love
When I returned, alive and victorious in my yellow-eyed disguise, I was almost fearful of what I would find. My bold actions on the roof had caused me to worry about my master's reaction. Ptolemy did not look angry when he had spoken to me with his orb nearing the end of the war, but it could have been a ruse. My master could have been hiding his discomfort from me so I wouldn't worry anymore then I had already, so I was still uncomfortable when I walked into his workroom.
The first thing I noticed when I saw him was that Ptolemy looked tired, as if he hadn't slept for a few nights. I sighed and shook my head. This was another reason I should have stayed; my master needed someone to keep an eye on him, just to make sure he wasn't working himself to death.
However, despite his weariness he still looked beautiful to me, and he greeted me with the same amount of enthusiasm as always and asked how my trip of the world had gone. My fears were erased as I told him about all the places I had seen and he told me about what he had been doing while I was gone, his dark eyes lighting up the same way as they had always done.
It was only when he started talking about the gateway and dismissing me that I stopped him.
He said that the gateway was a gesture, a redress.
I said that he didn't need to take so much on himself.
He said he wanted to.
He hoped to change the world.
I hoped he was right.
He went to speak the dismissal, and I stopped him.
"It's late," I said, putting my fingers on his shoulders, just enough of a presence that got his attention yet didn't restrain him in anyway, "If you will, please dismiss me tomorrow."
I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave him unprotected, especially now that the other spirits were gone. I wanted to stay with him.
He almost protested, almost finished the dismissal, almost made me go, but his heart was kind. He couldn't force me away, not when I had asked him the way I had.
So he nodded and sighed.
I expected him to pull away, possibly just turn away from me, but he didn't, he stayed where he was and was silent for a moment, before he spoke again.
"I have a question for you, my friend," he said, a look on his face that I hadn't seen on him before. It was a look of question and confusion but also of sadness and perhaps some hope. Ptolemy was going to ask a question, and he was afraid of the answer. He didn't know if he wanted to hear what I said in reply to his question.
I had a feeling I knew what his question was, but I nodded anyway.
Quietly, his dark eyes searching my face, he asked,
"Why did you kiss me?"
Locking my eyes with his, I answered in all seriousness,
"Because I wanted to."
My answer seemed to please him because he smiled, his eyes lighting up again, and he reached for me.
My hands moved to gently tip and support his head and as his arms wrapped around my neck, I kissed him.
The last kiss we had shared had been quick, but this one was not. I went slowly at first, gently brushing my lips against his, tasting him, getting him use to the feeling. He sighed against my lips, and I used my free arm to hold his lithe, beautiful body against me. I could feel his chest rising and falling as he breathed and his heart beat steadily rose as he open his mouth for me and I slipped my tongue in.
I could feel his soft, small fingers curl into my hair, trying to keep me there as I shifted my hold and lifted him so we could move to the bed. We both knew how this night would end, because, now that we had stepped off the edge, we wouldn't be able to climb our way out alone.
Locked like this, we fell as one on to the bed, soon to be entangled in the silk sheets. He was on his back and I was on my side, pressed against him, and when I broke the kiss and he breathed I asked him,
"Would you like me in another form?"
I wanted to make him comfortable with me. If he wanted me to be something else, say female, I would be happy to oblige. I wanted him to be happy.
He shook his head, his arms still wrapped around my neck.
"I want you to chose your own form, don't change if you don't want to."
I smiled then, and Ptolemy asked,
"My friend, you are not in any pain are you? Would you like me to dismiss you?"
I had been away from the Other Place for quite sometime, but I shook my head. My essence did ache a bit, but Ptolemy made the pain sweet.
"Dismiss me tomorrow," I whispered seductively into his ear, "Let me make love to you tonight."
My master shuddered and breathed as I leaned over him and as I claimed his lips once more, I played with the laces of his clothing.
After some gentle tugging, the cloth gave way and after breaking away so Ptolemy could breath, 6 (It might have been mentioned before that I have no need to breathe, since I use magical means to keep my essence alive and to speak) I ran my fingers lightly against his warm bare shoulders, reminding me of the first time I touched him.
My master's arms had loosed from my neck and his thin, soft hands gripped the front of my shirt as I caressed him. I bent down and kissed his vulnerable throat, and he gasped faintly and pulled me down to him, our bodies connecting again.
I had never thought of hurting Ptolemy before. The idea of injuring him or worse had never crossed my mind, including the time that I had spent lying to him. But he had mentioned the fact that I could harm him before, and it made me realize how easy it would be to murder him right at that moment.
He was pinned under me, my teeth were at his throat, I could sense the way his life flowed under his skin. It would have been so easy to take his life, to keep him from moving as I ripped out his throat and spilled blood all across those pretty silk sheets.
The very thought of it sickened me, but there was something oddly alluring to the vulnerability of the situation.
The sun had set and Ptolemy's head was tipped up, exposing his throat, which was white, slender, fragile. I tasted him with my lips and tongue and as he mewed against me I realized how much trust he was putting in me. Sure it was no gateway; my master could possibly fight back if I gave him a slight chance, but the fact that he was willingly letting me get this close to him was proof of his trust.
I tried to keep my touch light as I dipped my kisses lower to his collarbone and his hands somehow found their way under my shirt. His fingers were warm and gentle against my stomach, and I vaguely wondered if the bedroom door was locked. If either of us started screaming, I don't think my master would be pleased with being interrupted by a nameless servant. 7 (Needless to say anything about my own feeling on that matter. Anyone feeling up to servant flambé?)
As the night wore on and I undressed him inch by painful inch, I memorized him. With teeth, lips, and tongue, my hands gliding over him, I vowed I'd never forget him. I would remember him the way he was, right at that moment, for as long as my essence remained.
When it was over, he lay softly upon the bed, and I whispered comforting words to him to dull the pain. He sighed in pleasure, his skin warm against mine and his soul sated. His dark eyes were soft and half-lidded, and as he smiled, content and beautiful, I fell in love with him all over again.
I kissed him tenderly once more before he fell asleep. I stayed with him all the next morning until he dismissed me, and this time, I went willingly. The last I saw of him was his serene face just before I was pulled away.
around just people, can you hear their voice
Find the one who'll guide you to the limits of your choice
The next time I saw him it was in the Other Place, which is rather strange in its self. I had heard him call my name, and I went to him, rather happily I might add. When I found him, he was trying to mold his soul into something to give himself a sense of self. His creation was very, artistic, and I couldn't help but laugh internally at it.
He hadn't noticed me at this point, to busy trying to form himself and take in the Other Place all at once. It was rather amusing to watch him, but when he started calling my name again, an almost worried look on his "face", I smiled and positioned most of myself "behind" him.
I'm here. I thought, parts of my essence coming to become intertwined with his soul, a gentle touch.
Where? He questioned, not yet noticing the way I curled around and inside of him.
All around you. I thought to him, I am you and you are me.
I felt his soul smile and I warped myself into a slightly more recognizable shape. 8 (At least, I made myself stand out from all the other "blobs" around me; I was still rather liquid like.)
He turned then, and his "face" proved my early feeling. He was smiling, and his dark eyes that he never seemed to lose, shone brightly.
It's so wonderful here. He thought, moving his "arms" to indicate the "landscape", I can understand now why you all like coming back here.
Yes, I nodded, It is very peaceful here.
Ptolemy looked around for a moment, and then thought again, So, there is no fighting?
There is no one to fight with, I thought, We are all one here.
He breathed, There are so many questions I want to ask, my friend.
We talked then, he asked and I answered, all the while my essence flowed around and caressed him, and when he had his answers, he asked me one more question.
B-Bartimaeus, he thought, What is happening to me?
What do you mean? I asked, as his soul slid against and mixed with my essence.
He sighed and relaxed as I came up to "hold" him, I feel so peaceful here, he thought to me, I don't know if I want to go back.
I shook my head, but held him tighter.
You cannot stay here to long, I thought, If you stay, you will not have a body to return to. 9 (Oh, if only I had known what would happen to him, I would have kept him with me.)
I know, he replied, But I enjoy feeling my soul merge with yours, I feel so close to you.
I smiled, and he felt my happiness.
We are truly one now, I whispered, But you must go back now, before its to late.
He nodded and sent me one finally thought.
I will summon you when I return to my body.
I shall be waiting. I replied.
Then, he was gone.
if you're in the eye of storm
Just think of the lonely dove
The experience of survival is the key
To the gravity of love.
After that, things just went down hill. My master had stayed in the Other Place far to long and he was unbearably weak. The other spirits and myself tried to do our best for him, but his body had begun to die while his soul was gone. A part of me wondered that, if he could separate his soul from his body one more time, he may have been able to saved his soul, if not his body.
However, he was much to weak, and then that final attack came.
I tried to protect him. I was willing to use up the rest of my essence if it meant that I could save him, but I was injured and I tried to barricade the both of us inside a nearby temple.
I made a mistake.
The temple had no other windows or doors, I was injured, and Ptolemy, my master, my friend, my lover, was dying on the cold marble floor, the blood I had never wanted to see staining the white.
This temple would not be a sanctuary. It would be a tomb.
I had sealed our fate, but I wasn't about to give up without a fight.
Then, Ptolemy began to talk about dismissing me so that I could live. When the attacking spirits broke in, they would kill anything that got in their way, including me. Ptolemy wanted to send me away.
I didn't take it well. I growled and argued, I fought against his wishes.
I said I didn't want to go.
He said it was the only way.
He said I didn't have a choice.
I could never win an argument with Ptolemy and I knew it.
So, before the other spirits broke down the temple door, as the door swelled and became deformed with heat, Ptolemy raised his hand and I changed into my yellow-eyed human.
"Don't!" I said as I took his hand.
I had one chance, one moment before the end of my world, one moment before I lost Ptolemy forever.
I held his hand, my other arm wrapped around him, and as I looked into his dark eyes, the eyes that held a deep wisdom and were so kind, I said,
"But I love you, Ptolemy."
He smiled then, weakly but content, and as I felt his blood running down my arm I knew his life was draining away. I bent close then, holding him gently against me, and I heard him whisper,
"I love you to."
I kissed him one more time and then the doors burst open, I changed and turned as a loin, Ptolemy spoke the dismissal, and I was ripped away from him.
When I appeared in the Other Place I tried everything I could think of to get back to my master. 10 (As a footnote, this is the only time I tried to do so, usually I had to be forced to leave the Other Place.) I pushed and pulled, I raged against the magic that kept me bound, and finally, when I could not escape, when I could not break free, I screamed. I screamed until my essence grew sore and the Other Place screamed with me. The world around me shook and trembled, and it was hopeless.
I couldn't get free.
I couldn't get back to Ptolemy.
He had been murdered, and I couldn't save him.
In the end, I believe that it was our love that killed him. Ptolemy's cousin possibly new how much I cared for my master, how I would murder thousands if it would keep him safe, and that sparked an un rational fear into the man. In his paranoia he thought that Ptolemy would overthrow him and rule with me as his guardian.
Ptolemy loved me so much; he was willing to save me from death if he could, even if that meant giving up his own life.
The spirits, the gateway, his cousin, they didn't kill Ptolemy.
That's why I wear his form, why I look the way he did before the gateway, I'm reminding myself of how much I loved him, and how that love killed him.
I will never forget and I will never make the same mistake twice.
My master belonged to me, and I lost him.
Neteryt (Egyptian) - Belonging To The God
Please review (smiles)