YP: Bwhahahahahaha!! I forced Omega into this! Time for the seeker to become insane! Oh, wait...too late for that...

Disclaimer: TF isn't mine; Alpha, Omega, myself, Kit and Jerry are mine.


Just as Alpha disappeared, Omega appeared in front of me. He blinked and looked at me. "Oh dear…what now?" He asked, taking a step back.

I acted like I was hurt. "Time for you to take the Mary Sue test, Omega. Only, for you, it'll be the Gary Sue test. Anyways, your sis took it and she passed."

"Well that's…" Omega trailed off. "You know where my sis is?"

"She's back watching Digimon where you last were. Now shut up and sit down and listen."

Omega sat down and I began.

First Question:

Is your character named after yourself or your screen name? (+1)

"Nope." Omega shook his head.

I nodded. "Correct."

Omega deadpanned.

Is your character described as beautiful? (+1)

"Nope." Omega shook his head, "Though I like to think I'm kinda cute…"

I deadpannded and kicked him. "Shut up, Omega." I sighed before moving on.

"Unusually" or "astonishingly" beautiful? (+2)

"Again. No." Omega sighed.

The most beautiful Transformer who's ever lived? (+3)

I laughed and Omega coughed.

Are his optics an unusual color? (+1)

"…I've got a visor…with frosty blue optics underneath…" Omega blinked.

"That's a no." I stated.

Do they change color according to his mood? (+1)

"Nope." We both said, looking at each other.

Does he have hair? (+2)

Omega's answer was the same as his twin's. "Hair…on a Transformer?"

"Watch Beast Machines, Omega." I sighed. "Moving on!"

Do you describe it on the first page of the story? (+2)

Do you describe it more than once? (+3)

"Nope and nope." I said, smiling.

Is she a recolored and/or "feminized" version of a canon character? (+1)

"No." We deadpanned.

Omega sighed, "I'm a mech."

"Shut up and pay attention."

Is he a Seeker? (+1)

"…Dang!" With both stated. (+1)

Do you spend more than two consecutive paragraphs describing his physical appearance? (+1)

"Nopie-nope-nope." I shook my head.

Do you begin the story with his description? (+1)

"No." Omega shook his head.

Do you make it a point to mention that she's as tall, or taller, than the average male? (+1)

We looked at each other. Omega deadpanned, "I'm a mech!!" He yelled.

I sighed. "No."

Does the story begin with something like, "Hi there! I'm (character name) and this is my story..." etc.? (+10)

Omega laughed, "That's stupid!"

"That's what I said!" Alpha said from inside her brother's mind.

I sighed, "Moving on!"

Does he have wings on his shoulders? (+1)

"Nope." Omega shook his head, "I have 'em on my back."

Does he have wings on his butt? (-20 and you're excused from the rest of the test.)

Omega shuddered, "Primus no!!" He yelped.

I nodded. "He's right."

Does she have more than one alt-mode? (+1)

More than two? (+2)

More than three? (+3)

Is his robot mode surprisingly lacking in the "kibble" that would logically be necessary to transform into all these things (because then he wouldn't be as purty)? (+2)

I glanced over at Omega and quickly dawned an Einstein outfit and a pointer classroom professors use. "Uh, if you look here," I said in a snooty, smart voice and poked Omega's wings with the pointer, "You will see wings. Necessary for flight. Here," I poked his chest, "is the jet's cockpit. Also necessary. Here," I smacked his visor, "Is…okay, this isn't necessary, but I love visors."

Omega glared at me as I snapped my fingers and via authoress powers turned back into my normal outfit, "Thanks for that lesson."

I bowed, "No problem. Oh! But I never did Alpha's…" Omega glared at me, but I snapped my fingers and Alpha appeared; I was back in my outfit, "Anyways," My accent was back, "Here," I smacked the truck bed, "Is her truck bed, very bulky, but needed to be a truck. Here," I jumped up, trying to smack her chest, and got her head, "Err…okay, a bit more south is her alt mode's hood. Has the little 'Ford' thingie on it!" I pointed to said "Ford" plate thingie.

Alpha glared, "Can I go back to watching Digimon now?" She asked, "I thought my Mary Sue test was over."

"It is, my dear Alpha!"

With the snap of my fingers, I was back in my Decepticon Starscream t-shirt and blue jeans and Alpha was gone. Omega bent down and poked me, narrowing his optics. "Can I go home now?"

"No! Not even halfway done! Moving on!!"

Does he transform via "magic" or some advanced and/or alien technology? (+2)

"No." Omega grumped as he plopped down and folded his arms, "Unless you count Cybertron as 'alien'."

"Can't be alien to you. You're a Cybertronian."

"That's why I said-"

I cut him off,

Is one of his alt-modes an animal with wings? (+1)

An animal that doesn't typically have wings (like a cat)? (+2)

Any fantasy-type creature (dragon, unicorn, griffin, etc.)? (+2)

Is one of her alt-modes organic or partly organic (if she's G1)? (+2)

"Not in the slightest!" I said, leaning against the foam bat I stole from one of my fellow authoresses.

Does her name contain one or more of the following:

Star/Sun/Sky? (+1)

Fire/Flame? (+1)

Night/Day/Dawn/Shadow? (+1)

Black/Silver? (+1)

Cat/Wolf/Raptor/Dragon? (+1)

Dark/Blood/Death/Blade? (+1)

I took a deep breath, "In order. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and no." I said.

"Though I do like blade…"

"No stealie a Comic book character's namie, Omega-ie!"

Omega glared and started to swat at me, but I wacked him with the foam bat.

Any variation of Optimus, Ultra, Mega, Galva, etc. (Includes Prime and -tron suffixes)? (+2)

Omega struggled to contain his laughter. "D-Do we even need to answer this?"

I nodded, "Yep. The answer's no."

A deliberately misspelled word, like Fyre or Darke? (+2)

An inexplicable capital letter in the middle of the name? (+2)

"Not anymore…" I murmured, "I used to type everything like that…I mean, that's how I used to type 'Silverbolt' and 'Starscream' and 'Soundwave', ect, ect…"

Omega nodded. "She used to be messed up. Still is…"

"Shut up." Another wack with the foam bat.

"Ow!"

Does he have a two-part name composed entirely of the previous, like "FyreBlade NightDragyn"? (+20, and come on)

"Nope." I giggled.

"…These people need a life…"

Does his full name include a "the," followed by some supposedly cool-sounding descriptive, like, "DeathWolf the Soul-Flayer"? (+2)

I yawned, Omega shook his head. "Nope."

Is his name a completely made-up word like nothing any canon TF has ever had, just because you thought it sounded cool? (+3)

Omega and I looked at each other and I typed in "No."

Is her name a painfully blatant feminization of a canon name, like "Starscreamia" or "Lady Optimus"? (+10)

I swear Omega almost wacked the computer, "I'm a male, you dolt."

Have you used the same name for a non-TF character in another universe? (+1)
no Two or more other universes? (+2)

"Nope." I answered.

Is it because he's actually the same character and has the ability to travel between dimensions and alter his appearance to suit each one, or some such? (+10, and sigh)

"Nope." We both answered.

Does he have any of the following abilities:

Telepathy? (+1)

More powerful than Soundwave's? (+2)

no Teleportation? (+1)

More powerful than Skywarp's? (+2)

no Super-speed? (+1)

Faster than Blurr's? (+2)

no Unusually keen senses? (Sight, hearing, smell, etc.) (+1 for each)

Telekenesis? (+2)

"Magical" powers, often vaguely defined or whatever the situation calls for

(including magical healing of self or others)? (+2)

"…Only with Alpha, so maybe…" I muttered. (+1)

"No…er…Al and I can switch places once we get really powerful…we haven't gotten there yet…no pair of twins have yet…so I don't think that counts …no…no…no…only in RPGs…" Omega sighed.

Time-travel under his own power? (+2)

Control of the weather or other natural elements? (+2)

The ability to communicate with animals? (+2)

Precognition or a "sixth sense" regarding imminent danger (including precognitive dreams or visions)? (+2)

Any ability which no canon TF has ever been shown to have? (+3)

ALL of the above? (+100 points and kindly never write anything again)

"They didn't listen invisibility…" Omega murmured.

"Good." I snorted.

A brilliant scientist and/or inventor? (+1)

So brilliant that she effortlessly solves problems that Wheeljack, Ratchet, and/or Perceptor couldn't? (+2)

"…No." I growled, "Omega is a dimwit."

"Yeah. HEY!!!" Omega growled, "I am NOT!"

"Suuuuuuuure…"

"I'm not stupid! I'm just not brilliant!"

Is he a phenomenally skilled martial artist? (+1)

"Mmm…no."

In Metallikato? (+2)

"To copy Alpha…" I started,

"WTF?" We both blinked.

In some hitherto-unknown Cybertronian martial art that you just made up? (+3)

"Nope." I answered.

Is she the only female ever to be trained in this art? (+1)

I covered Omega's optics and quickly skipped this one, "He's a male." I whispered to the computer before moving on.

Is she an incredible sharpshooter? (+1)

At any distance? (+1)

With any weapon? (+1)

"I have a rifle. Does not make me a sharpshooter." Omega said.

If you've made Tech Specs for him:

Are they all sevens and/or eights? (+1)

Nines and/or tens? (+2)

Higher than tens? (+5)

"No, No, No." I muttered. "In fact, for tech skill, he's got a three."

"I can repair basic cuts. That's it." Omega defended, "Alpha's the medic. Not me."

Does he have a beautiful singing voice? (+1)

I snickered, "No. He's not a singer. Ish a dancer and ish learning from Jazz."

Does he play a musical instrument? (+1)

"No." We both answered as we propped our feet up on a table.

Is it the flute? (+20)

"That's physically impossible and you know it." Omega pointed out.

Is it the bagpipes? (-20)

"Also, psychically impossible." Omega stated.

"Nah, I've seen Metrolpex with bagpipes. He's quite good." I stated, remembering a Transformers: Cybertron drawing I had seen on deviantart.

Omega glared at me.

Is he extremely fond of a particular Earth musical group, TV show, movie, etc.? (+1)

Omega shrugged, "Yeah, man, Jazz got me int' Earth music." (+1)

That just happens to be YOUR favorite musical group, TV show, movie, etc.? (+2)

I got shifty eyes, "Only a few…" (+2)

Is he so obsessed with a particular rock band that she named herself after it? (+10) ;-)

"NO!" I laughed. Omega paused for a moment, then busted out laughing at the thought.

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II. We Are Family

Is your character the son of a canon character? (+1)

Is it StarScream? (+1)

Omega narrowed his optics. "What are you saying?!" He snapped.

"Down boy. You know you're not…it's all part of the test."

"Just because I'm a seeker does not make me-"

"Omega?" I interrupted his ranting.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Is it Megatron? (+2)

Omega growled, but managed – somehow – to restrain himself from assaulting the computer.

Is it Optimus Prime? (+3)

"Nope." We both answered.

That your character does not originally know about? (+1)

Because your character's mother hid him away to "protect" her from something? (+2)

"No." Omega stated as I walked out. "My sister and I were not hidden away from anything by our mother."

Is your character the brother of a canon character? (+1)

"No." Omega stated.

Is it Optimus Prime? (+1)

"…Primus no." He said.

Is it Megatron? (+2)

"Omega!" I yelped as I walked back in; Omega had my laptop in his hands, about ready to crush it. "Put the laptop down!! I need that!"

Is it Starscream? (+3)

Omega just about crushed the computer again, but I kicked his shin. "Can we move it along, please?! Before Omega destroys my computer?!"

"I hate this quiz." Omega grumped.

"YOU AND ME BOTH." Appeared on my laptop's screen. "NOW PUT ME DOWN."

Omega and I looked at each other and he gently put the laptop down. "Haunted laptop…" He said, looking at me. I just responded by taking a shot of Orange Soda.

Does he have a twin of the same gender? (+1)

"No." We both said.

Of the opposite gender? (+2)

Omega nodded. "Yeah, Alpha." (+2)

Do they communicate telepathically? (+3)

I groaned and nodded. "Yes, they do…seeing as how they're connected at the very spark, I don't see why they wouldn't…" (+3)

Omega shook his head.

Is he the product of a tragically doomed romance between an Autobot and a Decepticon? (+1)

"No."

Was he adopted? (+1)

We glanced at each other. "OC conference! Get Vector Prime!" In a snap, we all – my haunted laptop included – were all teleported to Vector Prime's place; said big lug was answering that horrible 'Ask Vector Prime' column.

"No, he wasn't. Now leave." The mech grumbled before I could even open my mouth. Omega shrugged and picked me up as we returned home.

"You heard Master." Omega muttered to the laptop, who typed in, "No."

Was she found in a basket on a doorstep in the driving rain, with a mysterious note pinned to her blankie? (Sorry)

I busted out laughing while Omega facepalmed. "MAY WE PLEASE MOVE ON?" The laptop typed. "I THINK THAT IS A NO."

"Do you have the caps lock on?" I eyed the laptop.

"YES." It answered.

"That explains it."

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III. Origin of the Species

Was your character on board the Ark or the Nemesis? (+1)

the Ark, but not at the time of it's crash to Earth. (+1)

Is he part-alien or part- any other non-TF creature? (+1)

"No." I said as Omega mimicked the look his sister had had at this question.

Is he a non-Cybertronian mechanoid who joined the TFs for whatever reason? (+1)

"No."

Is he a human who was turned into a TF? (+2)

"No." Omega deadpanned. "Born and raised a Transformer."

No beating about the bush: is she you turned into a TF? (+3)

"Ewww…" I said, edging away from the seeker. "No. If anything, maybe halfway my brother, but not me…eww…"

"IT SAID SHE, YOU DOLT. OMEGA DOES NOT QUALIFY FOR THIS QUESTION." The laptop answered; Omega nodded proudly.

Do you secretly believe that this is really going to happen some day? (+5)

"As much as I would love it to happen? No." I mumbled, "But, I would prefer to be in Alpha's body…at least she's a femme…"

"SIGH." My laptop answered in another screen as Omega shook his head.

"You're an idiot." He murmured.

Seriously, though? (+10)

"No." I griped.

Is he an alien (organic) who was turned into a TF? (+1)

"No." I muttered.

Is he a fantasy-type creature (elf, mermaid, dragon, unicorn, etc.) who was turned into a TF? (+2)

All three of us – the laptop typing the smilie for it – raised an eyebrow.

Is he a canon character from a non-TF universe who was brought into this universe and turned into a TF? (+3)

"…Pardon my French, but HUH?" I blinked. "How would that be a fan character?"

"Don't ask me." Omega sighed.

"ME EITHER." Laptop answered. "TURN ON COMPUTER NARRATOR, PLEASE."

I did so and we continued on.

Because he was badly injured by/because of a TF and this was the only way they could save her life? (+1)

"No." Omega narrowed his visor.

"This is repetitive." My computer's narrator said in a Spanish voice.

"Yep." I agreed, grabbing popcorn. "Hey, wait…you talked! In a Spanish accent! You need a name now. Something that sounds…intelligent…Jerry!"

Omega anime fell and my computer – I mean Jerry – sweatdropped while I grinned.

Because she wanted to Join In the Fight Against Evil? (+1)

"No." All three of us answered.

Because Megatron (or Galvatron or whoever) had the idea to turn humans into Decepticons and use them against the Autobots? (+1)

"Nopidie nope-nope." I said.

Because he was in love with a TF and this was the only way they could be together? (+2)

"No." Omega answered.

Due to a Convenient Unexplained Phenomenon (a dimensional portal, an energy bolt from space, etc.)? (+2)

"Uh…no!!" Jerry shouted. "Can this hurry? I've got an Internet Checkers Challenge at five."

An anime vein appeared on my head and pulsed. "I'm going as fast as I can, Jerry."

For Mysterious Reasons of His Own? (+2)

"Again. No."

Because he wanted revenge on an annoying ex-girlfriend? (-100 points and please send me the story)

We laughed. "No." I giggled out while Jerry's little smilie shook its head. "An' if you find that story, e-mail it to me."

Is he a member of a hitherto unknown "third race" that fled Cybertron during the Great War? (+2)

Is he royalty of any kind? (+2)

That he does not originally know about? (+3)

Omega covered Jerry's speakers before he could say anything, "No, no, and no."

Is he a member of a non-allied mercenary group that Plays By Their Own Rules and Answers To No One? (+3)

"No. I'm an Autobot."

"Yeah, he's an Autobot!" Jerry took on a gangster voice.

"Okay, you're all scaring me." I mumbled, sipping Coke.

Is he the leader? (+1)

"Nu-uh."

Is this group made up of stunningly beautiful and incredibly dangerous femmebots? (+1)

"And one Omega? No." I snickered.

Are they Feared and Respected Throughout the Galaxy? (+1)

"They don't exist, see?" Jerry's smilie now had a scar and a cigar.

Do they have their own spaceship? (+1)

"No." Both grumbled.

Or did your character presumably come about in a perfectly ordinary way, because you don't feel her origins are worth going on about? (-30 and thank you, thank you, thank you)

We all glanced at each other; Jerry's smilie now was confused. "How do we answer this one?" I mumbled.

"I don't go on and on…neither does Alpha…"

"But, heck, accordin' t' the documents ah've read that she," Jerry's smilie pointed at me, "wrote, y'all ain't normal."

"What's with the Southern accent, Jerry?" I asked, but then shrugged. "Just do what Al 'n' I did, say no. It doesn't hurt you."

"Doesn't help either."

"Oh well."

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IV. All You Need Is Love

Does your character fall in love with a canon character? (+1)

"No. Not that many female Autobots, y'know." I pointed out.

Is it Optimus Prime? (+1)

Omega shook his head. "No, sorry." He said politely, but I saw him put his finger in his mouth and gag out of the corner of my eye.

Is it Megatron? (+2)

Omega went from dark black to almost gray as he paled.

Is it Starscream? (+3)

Omega started to throw up, but I patted his shoulder, "Let's skip, 'kay?"

"Kay." Omega answered, covering his mouth. He became chibi and his face went from pale black to green.

"Jerry, do your thing."

A new list of questions appeared.

Does he fall in love with someone from an opposing faction? (+1)

From a different continuity? (i.e. an Autobot and a Maximal)? (+2)

From an opposing faction AND a different continuity? (i.e. an Autobot and a Vehicon)? (+3)

Did they fall in love within days of meeting each other? (+1)

Did they fall in love At First Sight or The Moment Their Eyes Met? (+2)

Do they defy anyone's direct orders to be together? (+1)

Does one of them defect from their faction so they can be together? (+1)

Do they BOTH defect from their factions so they can be together? (+2)

"No to everything." Jerry answered as I tried to nurse Omega back to health from the 'traumatizing experience' he just had.

Do canon characters fight (or otherwise compete) for his affections? (+1)

"No." I said this time.

Does he "reform" a thought-to-be-irredeemably-evil character through The Power of His Love? (+100 and pass me the Pepto-Bismol.)

We managed to contain our laughter. Even Omega, who was still in chibi-form and in his chibi-bed, giggled; his face was now back to black.

"That's so Mary Sue!!" I managed.

Does your character have sex with the object of his affections? (+1)

"Ew…" Jerry said.

More than once? (+2)

"…" We all glanced at each other and Jerry got the drift.

"Moving on."

That you describe in point-by-point detail? (+1)

"Seriously, though…moving on, Jerry!!" Omega snapped.

For more than two consecutive pages? (+3)

We all looked at one another and I pressed the PgDn button.

Is it a life-altering experience for her? (+1)

"That's a no because the last couple of answers were NO!!!" Omega yelled.

"Jerry!" I snapped and we went down a few questions.

For him? (+1)

Do one or both of them cry afterwards because it was so beautiful? (+1)

Did you cry afterwards because it was so beautiful? (+2)

Do they get married? (+1)

"Finally. A good question!" Omega hopped out of bed and jumped, still chibi, into my lap and looked at the computer. "No." He typed happily.

Do you describe the wedding ceremony? (+1)

For more than two consecutive pages? (+2)

Including giving the name of every single character who was invited? (+3)

"No wedding, dolt." Jerry said as Omega cuddled into my chest. I deadpanned.

"Guys, this quiz is freakin' Omega out. Alpha'll kill me if her brother is permanently weird."

"Too late." Jerry mumbled low.

Is the wedding attended by members of opposing factions, because they decided to set aside their differences in order to share in the joy of this wondrous event? (+20)

"Impossible!" Omega answered as he looked at the screen.

I stroked his forehead, trying to figure out what to do with him. "Uh…seriously. He's right."

Does this wedding ceremony bear an astonishing similarity to a late 20th/early 21st century American middle-class Christian wedding, complete with vows, veil, and bouquet, despite the fact that this is far from the only type of wedding ceremony that exists (or has ever existed) on Earth, so to expect giant robots from outer space to use this exact same ritual is PATENTLY ABSURD! (Sorry.) (+50)

"Let me answered this one, please." Jerry asked politely. I nodded and he yelled. "NOOOOO!!! You dolt." He sniffed.

I blinked at my laptop's sudden outburst.

Do they have a child together? (+1)

More than one? (+2)

More than two? (+3)

More than three? (+4)

Are any of them twins? (+5)

With telepathic powers? (+6)

Omega snorted. "No."
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V. It's a Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad World

Is your character an orphan? (+1)

"No." Omega stated in an almost baby-like voice, "She my mommy." He cuddled me again.

My face went blank. "O-kay…seriously, though? He and Alpha have parents. They're back on the twins' home planet."

Were his parents killed in an attack by the opposing faction? (+1)

In an attack by pirates, mercenaries, an alien invasion, or anything other than a canon TF faction? (+2)

Did this attack destroy his entire city or colony? (+2)

His entire world? (+3)

"They're alive." Omega said.

As a result of this attack, was he Left Alone To Fend For Hisself In a Cruel Uncaring Universe? (+1)

"…No." Jerry answered, "Though whoever sent this to you shall be shoved into a wormhole by me if this doesn't get over with soon."

Was he Forced To Do Terrible Things To Survive? (+1)

"No." Omega answered like a proud two-year-old.

That he deeply regretted doing, because deep down inside he was still a good and kind individual? (+1)

At any point in your character's history:

Was he kidnapped? (+1)

Was he sexually assaulted? (+2)

By more than one individual? (+3)

By a canon character? (+100 points and shame on you)

Was he forced into slavery? (+2)

Was it sexual in nature? (+5)

Was he captured by the opposing faction or other evil persons? (+1)

Was he tortured? (+1)

If anything, it only made Omega worse. He sniffled and chibi tears appeared on his visor. He buried his head in my chest and I growled. "No! Now look what you've done!" I rubbed the seeker's back between his wings as Jerry filled in the answers.

"Hmm…He went along freely, his sister was the one that was kidnapped…but he was captured, I guess is what you could call is…" Jerry nodded. (+1)

Was his mind altered in any way (false memories implanted, brainwashed into betraying his faction, etc.)? (+1)

I shook my head, "Nope."

Did he swear revenge on a particular group or faction as a result of His Tragic Experience (whatever it was)? (+1)

"No." Omega sniffled as he looked out from my semi-wet teeshirt.

Did he swear revenge on a particular individual? (+1)

"No…" Omega answered.

Did he change his name, upgrade his body configuration, or otherwise alter himself in any way because of it? (+2)

"Nope, sorry." I snorted.

Omega blinked. "I wan' a new alt mode now…"

"Not yet, sweetie…" I cooed the chibi softly. I heard Jerry snort and saw his smilie shaking its head. "Who asked you?"

"No one." The laptop answered.

At any point in his history, does she change factions? (Going from Neutral to a named faction, or vice-versa, counts.) (+1)

"Yeah. 'Con to 'Bot." (+1)

Does he change factions more than once? (+2)

"No." Omega stated, a bit more firmly. "I stayed an Autobot!"

More than twice? (+3)

Jerry grumbled and typed in, "NO."

Do the other characters get so sick of her faction swapping that they finally just haul off and shoot him? (-50)

Omega snickered, "Sis was right. I do wanna see that."

Is he insane, or suspected of being insane? (+1)

"No." I giggled. "Okay, maybe a bit."

Omega shot me the maddest glare a chibi could give.

"Just kidding…" I sighed.

Does he experience flashbacks or other mental lapses? (+1)

"No."

Does he suffer from a pathological phobia of clowns? (-20)

Omega buried his head in my chest. "Yes." He whimpered.

Jerry blinked and I gave him a glare that said 'say something and DIE!' (-20)

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VI. Don't Fear the Reaper

Does your character die? (+1)

"…Yep…but only in an RPG…"(+1)

Omega nodded. "I become a 747."

Does he sacrifice herself to save the object of his affections? (+2)

"No. Alpha died to save Kit, so Omega died soon after, but a shot through his spark killed him before his sister's spark truly took his." Jerry answered.

I blinked. "I don't wanna know how you know that."

"I'm your laptop. I know what RPGs you do. Doofus."

To save his entire faction? (+3)

"No."

To save Cybertron and/or Earth? (+4)

"No." Omega yawned.

To save the galaxy? (+5) no To save the entire universe/multiverse/space-time continuum? (+10)

"No." Jerry answered as I took another shot of orange soda.

Does he repair a time paradox by dying? (+2)

"No." I mumbled, wiping the soda off of my lips.

Does he cause one? (+2)

We looked at each other and shook our heads – Jerry's smilie did the shaking of the head for him. "No." We answered at the same time.

Is his death witnessed by five or more canon characters? (+1)

"Nope." I said, "Only by Skywarp – or was it Starscream? – and…I think that's it."

Do any of them cry? (+1)

I giggled.

Does anyone shout "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" at any point? (number of O's and exclamation points may vary.) (+2)

Omega snickered and pointed at his sister. "No, but she has someone who does…"

"Omega, quit picking on Alpha." I sighed and Jerry snickered.

"It's true, you know." He said.

"Both of you. Shut up."

Does he make a speech before he dies? (+1)

"No."

Is it more than two paragraphs long? (+2)

"Nope." Omega said, rubbing his optics behind his visor; he was getting tired.

More than two pages long? (+3)

Does he sing "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" in a loud, bellowing voice? (-10)

Do you describe his funeral? (+1)

"There." I grumbled.

"Is. No." Jerry continued.

"Funeral!" Omega finished.

Is it awfully similar to an Earth-type funeral? (See the question about weddings.) (+2)

"Jerry?" I grouched.

"NO" the computer typed.

Do the attendees make moving speeches about how wonderful he was and what a difference he made in their lives? (+3)

"You're weird." Omega giggled.

Jerry tried to edge away from the seeker, but couldn't.

Are these speeches more than two paragraphs long? (+4)

"I'll take my sister's question and ask 'how can you have speeches without a funeral?" Omega mumbled.

"Dunno."

More than two pages long? (+5)

"Seriously, though…this is getting…"

"Repetitive?" Omega offered.

"Boring?" Jerry suggested.

"Stupid." I finished.

Does anyone break down and cry in the middle of their speech? (+5)

"…" We all tried to hide our snickers.

Did you cry while you were writing it? (+5)

"Okay, look. I don't cry when I write! I don't cry at all!" I snorted.

Jerry and Omega glanced at each other and offered up a picture of me sniffling while reading the end of Bridge to Terabithia. I narrowed my eyes. "F-ine! I don't cry often. Happy?"

Both nodded.

During the funeral, does he come lurching out of her coffin as a hideously decomposed cannibal zombie and massacre everybody in sight? (-20) (Well, I'd like to see that)

"To borrow Lady Starscream's answer. I bet you would." I grinned.

Did he leave a will or any kind of last message? (+1)

"No."

Does it begin with an "If you're reading this/seeing this, it means I'm dead" sort of thing? (+1)

"No." Jerry answered, Italian accent this time.

Does everyone think he died, but he actually didn't? (+3)

"No." Omega mumbled.

Does he actually die, but somehow come back to life at the end of the story? (+4)

"No…" We were all now, even Jerry, lying on the ground in a huge pile of soft sheets and towels, sprawled out.

"I have laundry to do…and that is less annoying this this." I mumbled.

Omega smacked his lips from where he was wrapped in a pink sheet and rolled off of the pile of clothes.

"See? You've bored Omega to sleep!"

Will he come back to life in a subsequent story? (+3)

"Uh…he didn't die in a story, so the answer ish no." I grinned.

"Gotta love loopholes." Jerry smiled.

"Oh yeah."

In which you blatantly contradict and/or ignore the events of the current one? (+20)

"N-"

Jerry interrupted me, "Say no and move on."

"I am!"

Does someone else sacrifice him- or herself to restore your character to life? (+2)

"Nope. Don't have to."

Does the object of her affections bring her back to life solely through the Power of Their Love? (+50 and you're determined to kill me, aren't you?)

"Ew." Jerry said.

"Ew." Omega agreed from where he was waking up.

"And, no, we're not going to kill you…not yet, anyways…" I got shifty eyes.

Does he die and get resurrected more than once? (+2)

I shook my head, "Nope."

More than twice? (+3)

Omega yawned and cuddled into his pillow, "Primus no! I can only die once!"

More than Optimus Prime? (Never mind, that's not possible.)

I snickered, "Of course it's not!"

Omega nodded in agreement.

------------------------------------------------------

VII. And, In the End...

Have you written (or are you planning to write) more than one story centered around this character? (+1)

"Le Duh!" I snorted, "He and Alpha are my main G1 OCs." (+1)

"Really?" Omega blinked as he sat up.

"Yep…" Jerry nodded. "You aren't someone she just tosses out."

"Wow…"

More than two? (+2)

"Yes, slaggit…" I growled. (+2)

More than three? (+3)

"…Damn…" (+3)

Do you ONLY write stories centered around this character? (+10)

"No! I'm not obsessed with Omega!" I huffed.

"Yeah, that'd be weird…" Omega nodded.

Have you altered the canon in any way to favor his (i.e., changed the plot of an episode, re-written the Movie so a character doesn't die, etc.)? (+1)

"No…not for him, anyways." I nodded.

Has he appeared in more than one continuity? (G1, BW, etc.) (+1)

"Nope."

More than two? (+2)

"…NO!"

More than three? (+3)

Omega looked at me, "What part of no do they not understand?"

"I dunno." I shrugged.

Jerry snorted, "The 'N' and the 'O'."

As soon as you hear of a new TF continuity coming out, do you immediately start thinking of how you can involve your character in it? (+5)

"No, not really."

Do you get cheesed off when readers don't adore and worship your character? (+3)

"No." I snorted, "Why would they, anyways?"

Do you resent the suggestion that stories based around your fanchars are not as interesting to other people as they are to you? (+5)

"No." I shook my head.

"Not really." Jerry finished. I gave him a look and his smilie, well, smiled, "I know what you type…and what you yell at my screen, you know…and you don't yell at reviewers…unless they're flamers…"

"Flamers…" I hissed and Omega and I shuddered. Jerry's smilie did as well.

And finally, while taking this test, did you feel periodic stings of recognition, flashes of annoyance, a temptation to say, "So what's wrong with THAT?" or "You're making fun of ME, aren't you!" etc. etc. etc.? (+1 for each time this happens)

"Um…no." I smirked, then realized something. "W00T! It's the end of the test! Time t' tally up the points!"

Omega shot up and rushed over, sitting in my lap again as I made the calculator pop up and Jerry started to add up the things for me. "Ooh!! He giggled upon seeing the score, "Lookie! I got a negative two!"

I blinked. "Wow…must've been that question about clowns." I said, looking at Omega, who looked around for said funny people. "Okay, Omega, you can go back to Alpha now."

"Finally." Jerry said, smilie looking very tired. "Can I shut off now? We have no more power…"

"Alright…" I agreed after saving the email and the document. "Just hang on…Omega…"

Omega looked up from where he was in my lap. "Yeah?" He asked, voice sounding normal again. Now that the test was over, he was becoming the high flying, over protective seeker twin I created him ask. "Sup?"

"You're heavy. Leave." I snapped my fingers and a clown appeared. Omega yelped and ran into the nearby portal; the clown disappeared. "Okay, Jerry, now you may turn off."

"Thanks." The voice replied as it started to shut down. I smirked. "You want Kit next?" It asked.

"Depends on if people think I should or not…Kit's not that much of a Sue…is she?" I glanced at Jerry, but he was in the final stages of shutting off. "Right…night, dude."

Jerry's smilie flipped me the bird before going offline.

Kit scrambled over to me. "What now?"

I shrugged. "Wanna go swimming?" I offered. The tiger cub was out the door and in the pool before I could even close my laptop.


YP: Ya read, pwease review.