Only Fools Rush In
Of Secret Plans and Secret Agendas.

"I can't believe she did this to me!" James Potter sank dejectedly into one of the couches in the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Well frankly, I can't believe it either," his best friend Sirius Black plopped down beside him, "You've never been dumped, ever."

James shot his best friend a death glare, "Padfoot, it might help if you actually say something comforting."

"Oh come on Prongs, you know I say it like it is, if you're looking for a shoulder to cry on, Moony's over there." Sirius jerked his head to his left, where Remus Lupin was sitting, completely absorbed in some book on magical creatures.

At the mention of his name, Remus looked up and sighed, "Seriously James, it's been what, 2 weeks, and you haven't gotten over it yet? You're normally on to your next target the second you end the relationship."

"And sometimes even when he hasn't," Sirius added knowingly, a glint in his eye. Remus sniggered, that was true. James had earned quite a reputation in the dating department. It was worrying then that he hadn't quite jumped at the next pretty girl that threw a look his way, as Sirius so crudely put it.

Sirius stretched, knowing full well that his little action had caught the eye of every female in the common room. Remus watched as all of them admired the way Sirius' shirt rode up his too-toned stomach and rolled his eyes. Sirius grinned, more to himself than anyone really and leaned forward, beckoning to Remus. "You see Moony, you missed out the most important detail," There was a moment of anticipation, in which even James straightened up a bit to listen to whatever wise words Sirius was about to utter, "THIS TIME, HE WAS DUMPED!" Sirius finished triumphantly, leaping up with his fist in the air, attracting the attention of even the males in the common room. Remus raised an eyebrow, sighed and decided his book was going to be far more entertaining and enlightening than whatever Sirius had left to say.

James made an odd noise, somewhere between an exasperated sigh and a grumble, "Please Padfoot, as if not enough people know she dumped me."

"Oh if you're referring to that very public break-up in the middle of the quidditch field right after the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw match," Sirius started, oblivious to the looks Remus was shooting him over his book, "I personally didn't think it was anything to be bothered about."

Remus interjected dryly, "Oh yes Sirius, and you're the King of Subtlety."

If it was possible, James sank even deeper into his seat, "But guys, I really thought she was the one! We've been going out for over a year! I've never lasted so long with anyone before! And she breaks it off just like that because she claims she needs time alone?"

"Who needs time alone?" Peter Pettigrew asked, strolling into the common room, carrying a broomstick.

"Cassy." James replied, his arms folded across his chest.

Peter rolled his eyes, "Oh, we're still talking about her?"

Sirius, glad for this distraction since he had never been good with the whole comforting-your-best-friend-who-had-just-been-dumped business, bounded over to Peter and asked excitedly, "Whaddya go?"

"Oh Lily was helping me with my flying." Peter replied, dusting some snow off his hair.

As soon as he said that, Lily climbed in noisily through the portrait hole, earning disapproving looks from some girls by the fireplace.

"What, never seen a girl gone flying in a middle of a snowstorm before?" Lily asked, as she shook snow from her shoes and broomstick. The girls shook their heads, almost in a resigned manner, and turned back to their magazines. Lily's tomboyish behaviour might not sit well with them, but they knew that she was the only girl in Hogwarts that the most popular boys would hang out with.

Lily yawned as she placed her broomstick next to the boys' couch, "So what are you guys doing?"

"Reading," Remus replied, not even looking up.

"Resting," Peter said as he massaged his sore arms, someone had to remind him not to go and practise bludger hitting with Lily again. That girl turns into a monster every time she gets her hands on a beater's club.

"Nothing," Sirius replied staring up at Lily, his hands folded neatly on top of his lap.

Lily raised an eyebrow, Sirius not planning anything diabolical didn't happen much. Maybe she should make full use of this opportunity and go take a bath without worrying about him switching her bath gel for mayonnaise, or cleaning up her cupboard and not having to look out for spiders and dungbombs hidden in one of the drawers or, or even…

"Lily?" Sirius snapped his fingers in front of her face, "Yoohoo, the lights are on but nobody's home!"

"I'm home, I'm home," Lily said irritably, swatting Sirius' fingers away from her face.

Suddenly, she noticed James slouching on the couch looking very miserable indeed.

Lily sighed, "Girl troubles?"

James continued to stare blankly into space.

"Well guys," Lily started as she rolled up her sleeves, "It's time I took matters into my own hands."

Lily marched towards James and gave him a few slaps across the face, "Snap…out…of…it," She held James by his collar and gave him a few more shakes for good measure, "I can't believe you're letting a girl get you down like that."

James blinked and adjusted his glasses, as if unaffected by the physical violence, "But what am I suppose to do?"

Nobody spoke for awhile, all eyes were on Lily. She looked around at the guys, proceeded to drop James unceremoniously back on the couch and settled down next to him, "Don't look at me, how am I suppose to know?"

Peter surveyed his surroundings, determined to do something. He wasn't about to watch his friend waste away because of some girl. "Prongs, I've got an idea."

Immediately, James brightened up, "What?"

"You could still get her back, if you want to," Peter said, rubbing his chin pensively, "As long as you can make Cassy jealous, she'll realise she still cares for you and she'll ask you to take her back!"

"Woah woah, isn't that a bit spiteful and something only people in chick flicks do?" Lily turned to Remus and Sirius, appealing for support. Surely they couldn't think it was a good idea?

"I think it's a pretty good idea!" Sirius replied, bouncing up and down on his seat, "Don't you Moony?"

"Mm yea," Remus said absentmindedly, turning a page.

Sirius turned to Lily, "What's a chick flick anyway?" Looking genuinely concerned, he asked, "you can't be going around flicking little chicks Lil', that's just downright cruel!" His lips quivered a bit and Lily was more than a little alarmed to see his eyes well up with tears.

She sat up abruptly, "No no, of course that's not it Sirius, it's a type of movie that appeals to girly girls."

"Movie?" Sirius looked extremely bewildered.

Lily sighed, she hated when she got into situations which involved her having to explain anything muggle to the boys. She loved them really, and they were normally quite intellectual but none of them seemed to be able to wrap their head around how muggles could lead their lives without magic. Luckily for her, James decided that Peter was right.

"Well, I like the idea, its better than sitting around doing nothing and moping about it." James exclaimed, sitting upright for the first time that night.

"Oh oh," Sirius clapped his hands excitedly, obviously forgetting about flicking chicks and movies, "Which girl is it going to be?"

James started to look very thoughtful, as if he was ticking girls off this imaginary list he had in his head.

"Well I know this is pretty random," Lily leaned back on the couch and lifted her feet on to the table, sipping on her coffee that appeared out of nowhere, "but those guys in the chick flicks always end up falling in love with the girl pretending to be the girlfriend."

Then, it was as if something in James' head clicked, "I know I won't!" he turned towards Lily. She looked back, puzzled. James smiled, "Because you're going to be my girlfriend!"

Lily promptly spat out her coffee. Remus smiled behind his book while Peter and Sirius exchanged knowing looks.

"WHAT?! NO!" Lily was flabbergasted.

"Silly, you're the best person for the job!" Remus said, conjuring a towel out of nowhere which proceeded to clean up the mess Lily had made. He suddenly wasn't very interested in his book anymore.

"Exactly, you're one of James' best friends, when he got dumped, you were there for him, so feelings developed between the both of you, a totally believable story!" Peter added, getting increasingly excited with the idea as he went along, "Best of all, James doesn't have to go cheat some girl's feelings!"

Sirius nodded his head vigorously, "Yea, what they said!"

"Come on Lils!" James pleaded, giving her his best impression of a wounded puppy, "Please?"

"Argh!" Lily threw her hands up in the air, resigned to her fate, "But only if you do my transfiguration homework for the whole duration I'm pretending to be your girlfriend."

"Yes!" The guys exchanged high fives.

xxx

"Alright, you ready Lils?"

"Yea yea, make it quick."

It was after Charms and the students were slowly trickling out of the classrooms. James had decided that it was the best time to put the plan into action.

"Hey Cassy," James said smoothly as he walked up to her, "Meet my new girlfriend." As he said so, his arms snaked around Lily's waist, pulling her closer to him.

Cassy let out a little giggle and Lily felt James arms tightened around her, Poor boy, still so affected by her.

Cassy smiled at both of them, "Oh please James, you expect me to believe that you're going out with Lily?"

James narrowed his eyes at her, "What? Why not?"

"Yea! Why not?" Lily was feeling genuinely insulted.

Cassy laughed again, "James, I know you too well, your expectations are pretty high. And Lily?" Cassy took a moment to run an appraising eye over the red-head, "Well, she's smart, topping Charms and Potions, but well, how should I put it? She's not exactly someone you can't take your eyes off you know," Cassy waved her hand in that careless manner of hers, "Sorry Lily, you wouldn't mind would you? I'm just stating the facts."

Count to ten Lily, Count to ten. Lily silently recited to herself as she watched Cassy walk away. As the last of Cassy's robes fluttered from the door, she turned to look at James.

His eyes were downcast and Lily held her breath, she had never seen him so dejected before. Immediately, she felt her heart ache for him as she frowned. Trying to decide what words would comfort him, she realised James was releasing his hold on her, as he muttered, "Maybe this was a bad idea, let's just go." He grabbed his bag off the table and shuffled off to find the rest.

Lily sighed, she really had to find out what James saw in Cassy.

xxx

After finding out what had transpired between them in the Charms classroom, Sirius, Remus and Peter were hopping mad.

"I can't believe she said that!" Sirius was indignant, pacing the length of the boys' dormitories.

Lily smiled, "Alright guys, as much as I'm touched and all, but she's right you know. Given James' track record, it is a bit difficult to believe. I'm not exactly the prettiest girl to have graced these halls."

Remus nudged her, "I think you're pretty!"

Lily smiled and put her hand over her heart, "Aww shucks, that's really sweet! Even though you are a biased source."

Sirius nudged her other arm, "I think you're pretty too! Even if you don't wear a skirt."

Lily slapped his arm, "I do Sirius! It's part of the girls' uniform!"

Sirius looked down at Lily's legs and as if realising it for the first time, "Oh yea! Hey, you got some shapely legs down there." He looked up back at her and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Lily rolled her eyes and promptly pummelled him with Peter's pillow. Not to be outdone, Peter chimed in, "I think you're pretty Lily! And I unlike someone here have realised that you do wear a skirt!"

Sirius threw Peter's pillow back at him and scowled. Lily laughed, had she told anyone how much she adored her boys? They really did wonders to her self esteem.

"So how did James take it?" Remus asked, worried. He hadn't seen that mop of messy hair since morning.

Lily shook her head, "Not too well," she sighed, "and I was kinda looking forward to not doing transfiguration homework."

"Well there's hope yet," Peter relied, a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh boy," Remus rubbed his temples, he knew what was coming next.

Sirius seemed to have caught on as well, the famous Marauder grin spread across his face, "If Cassy wants someone pretty, we'll give her someone that no one could ever take their eyes off."

xxx

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